Chapter 5

SPOV

"Oh, Steve!"

A small but firm and warm body collides with mine as I rounded the corner at the top of the stairs.

"Oh, jeez, I'm sorry." I bend down and help Bella pick up her belongings. She's holding a battered backpack and trying to shove a thick textbook and a couple of three-ring binders into it while I'm trying to collect what seems like two dozen various pens and pencils that scattered along the floor.

I hear the squeak of rubber on the marble floor as I'm stuffing the last pen into the case and look over just in time to see Bella topple over on her ass. She sighs, and then just flops backward, and I can just hear her sniffle.

I lean over to look at her, and Bella has her eyes shut tightly and tears are pooling in the corners.

"Are you all right?" I ask quietly. She opens her eyes, and I smile softly down at her.

"It's just been a long day, and then this happens and—" She sighs loudly. "Can I just cry for a minute? Because every time I start to cry around Uncle Tony, he immediately starts cracking jokes and"—hiccup—"generally tries to cheer me up."

"Sometimes, you just need to let it out," I say and offer her a hand to help her up.

She nods, and I grab her bag off the floor.

"You want to get out of here? You can cry all you want." I smirk. "I have great shoulders."

Bella sends me a watery smile and nods her head.

"Yeah, I'm starting to feel a little like a princess stuck in a tower." She takes her bag and starts to walk toward the living quarters. "Lobby, Rogers. Twenty minutes."

"Yes, ma'am."

To her credit, Bella didn't cry on my shoulder, but seeing how red her eyes were when we met downstairs, I got the impression she got it out before we left.

"What's the plan, Captain?" she asks as she steps up to where I'm standing in the back corner of the lobby.

"Have you ever ridden a motorcycle?" I ask with a grin and lead her to the bank of elevators.

"This may come as a surprise, but I have." She laughs as we step into the open elevator. "I mean, if dirt bikes count."

I hit the button for the lower level garage and smile back.

"I mean, technically, it does, but you're in for a whole new experience." I look her up and down, and while she's a bit on the willowy side, Bella has fire in her eyes.

The fact that she wore a leather jacket hasn't escaped my notice either—I know she knows I have a bike.

"Nice jacket, by the way." I stride out of the elevator and hear her scurrying to follow.

I lead her to my bike—a Harley Davidson 750.

"Helmets are the law." I hand her the spare skullcap as I strap on my own.

The next thing I know, she's flush behind me with her arms wrapped around my waist, and I'm navigating us down 42nd street to FDR Drive and cruising along next to the East River.

Bella is comfortable on the bike as she's leaning into turns with me, keeping her feet up when we have to stop, and I don't feel her flinching in the ever-growing traffic situation.

"Are we going to Brooklyn?" She has to yell over the traffic and honking horns, so I grab one of her hands wrapped around me and squeeze.

She presses up against me just a little tighter as I maneuver us onto and over the bridge and into my hometown.

Here, I'm just some kid from Brooklyn; no one cares that I underwent experimentation back in the forties.

No one here cares that I've fought alongside gods and a man in an iron suit to save New York against an alien invasion.

When I cross the bridge from Manhattan, I'm just some schmuck on a bike.

I could stop in the Heights and show her around my old stomping grounds, but the idea of showing her the gentrified apartment building that used to be the tenement my mother and I survived in seems a little intense for today.

I just move us to Ocean Parkway and continue.

It's the middle of September, and at four o'clock in the afternoon, the weather is downright pleasant, and when I can't find parking anywhere close, I'm not too worried about the heat getting to either of us. "Where the hell are we?" Bella asks as she pulls off her helmet and passes it to me to secure it.

I shrug. "Coney Island." I offer her my hand with a smile. "Come on."

She grabs my hand, and I lead her down Surf Avenue, passed beach rentals, ice cream stands, and pizza shops.

I've always wanted to come here," she tells me with a wide smile. "I grew up seeing it on TV and in the movies, you know? It always seemed like an escape to another world."

"I used to come here whenever I had a little extra scratch." Some rollerbladers come flying toward us, so I pull Bella out of the way. "My buddy and I would come down, get a dog, and try to flirt with the girls. My friend was a great dancer."

I keep us moving. I don't talk much about Bucky and telling her now won't do any good. Besides, I'm trying to distract her today.

"Is that James? I mean, Bucky?" She's quiet and keeps her head forward as we continue walking.

"I mean, I've been to DC … to the Smithsonian. The exhibit is really impressive."

"Yeah, it is." I have to clear my throat. I'm still not sure I can say his name out loud. "That's him. They gave him a nice dedication."

She laces her fingers between mine and squeezes my hand softly.

"It's so hard to lose the people we love, to leave them behind … or be left."

She sighs and tips her face up to look at me.

"It's weird, I … never mind." The blush that covers her cheeks makes her seem younger than she is.

"What's weird?" I'm curious, so I tug her hand, hoping she'll look up at me again.

"Holding hands with you." She shrugs and laughs lightly. "Your hand is just so warm. I'm not used to that."

"What do you mean?"

"Is that Nathan's Hot Dogs?" The next thing I know, she's dropped my hand and is running the 20 yards to a famous restaurant. I smile and trot after her.

Half a dozen franks later and two trips up and down the boardwalk, I've finally talked Bella into riding the Cyclone.

"I'll puke all over you," she informs me, pouting.

"You had one hot dog, and that was almost an hour ago," I point out.

Bella shakes her head.

"It's not scary, and it's not even that fast." I'm all but pleading as I lead her to the ticket booth. "You've cried it out, now it's time to scream."

I want to hear her let go, to scream.

Slow down, soldier.

"Steve, contrary to anything you might ever learn about me, I am not a thrill-seeker." She's laughing and trying to dig her heels into the pavement.

"Bella, children ride this. It's a rite of passage."

We're staring at each other now—she's got her arms crossed over her chest, and my hands have landed on my hips.

"What do I get if I go on it?" she asks me finally, and I grin.

"What do you want?"

"A prize." She breezes past me to the ticket booth and has two tickets before my brain can catch up with the action around me.

"You coming, Rogers?" She waves the tickets at me as I jog over to her.

"I was going to buy those." Pointing it out seems like a weird, macho move, but I was planning to buy them. She's a student and—

"I can feel your brain spinning from here." She laughs as we move into the line. "You got the hot dogs. I got these. You know about women's lib, right?"

I can feel my blush now, and while I know she's teasing me, there's a sting to it.

"I'm all for strong, independent women, Bella."

"But?"

"You're a student. They're not typically known for having a lot of extra spending money."

"Nice save, Steve. I'll allow it." She leans into me and drops her voice. "You know my godfather is very rich, right?"

"You know your godfather will have my ass handed to me if he thinks I'm not treating you right."

She smiles and wraps a delicate arm around mine while we move through the line.

"You better give me a really good prize then."

Ninety seconds later and all through the 12 drops and 60 miles per hour, Bella laughed, whooped, and screamed her head off.

I loved every millisecond of it.

At the exit, we find a bench, and she shoves me down to sit.

"You screamed." She's still trying to catch her breath, but she's pointing a petite finger at me and giggling. "You, Captain America, screamed on this rickety roller coaster."

"You didn't have to dig your nails into my forearm." I grab her hand, and she stops laughing.

"I think they have one of those games that test your strength. I'm sure I can win a great prize for you there." I say as I stand up and pull Bella behind me.

"Steve?"

I turn and realize she's dropped my hand. She's standing on the bench now and looks embarrassed.

She's tugging on the sleeves of her leather jacket and chewing on her bottom lip.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I stand in front of her, and she's barely taller than me, even standing on this bench.

"I just wanted to thank you … for today, I mean." She sighs and stops fidgeting long enough to put her hands on my shoulders and look me directly in the eyes.

"Today was a hard day for me. A lot of memories to compete with. I was prepared to hide out in my room and just … wallow in it."

She smirks and pats my shoulders.

"Then you ran into me, and the dam broke, and I—" Her voice breaks, and I pull her into my arms.

She cried on the floor when I knocked her over, and I'm pretty sure she cried before we met in the lobby, but she hadn't cried once today.

Not in front of me.

I rub small circles across her back and try to whisper soothing words, but I'm not much for comfort.

When she finally pulls away from me, she doesn't hide her face, but she immediately wipes her tears. I reach into my pocket and fish out a few leftover napkins and hand them to her.

"I'm going to tell you something, and then I'm going to do something, and it's going to seem weird to you, but I just need you to roll with it, okay?"

I nod because what else am I supposed to do or say right now?

"Two years ago today, my ex-boyfriend dumped me and left me alone in the woods at dusk." She inhales sharply, and her eyes dart around the crowd, and I can't help but look over my shoulder.

"We were deeper than I realized, and I couldn't find my way out. A search party was sent out for me, and if they hadn't found me, well, I'm not sure what would have happened."

"You told me. The search party was out for four hours looking for you." I can't wrap my brain around what she's telling me.

She could have been seriously hurt or even …

"Steve, I was sad earlier, but honestly … this is the first time I haven't been angry or hurt when I talk about him. You kept me distracted and interested in something else."

I shrug and roll my eyes, but she catches me off guard once again when she leans in and plants her soft lips firmly on mine.

That jolt of electricity I felt between us all those weeks ago is back, and I can't feel or smell anything else but Bella.

She surrounds my entire universe in that single moment. I want to delve deeper, and I inhale, changing my angle to take her mouth.

Bella sighs, and one hand grips my shoulder and one hand cradles my face, so lovingly and tenderly.

My arms encapsulate her waist and draw her body flush against mine.

When her tongue swipes across my bottom lip, I open at her request and the soft flesh is eager and hot like mine.

It's not until we hear catcalling and whistling that we pull apart, panting and flushed.

Those in the crowd are good-natured, so I ignore them and just stare at the girl with rosy cheeks and swollen lips in front of me.

"Bella, I—"

"Weird, right?" she asks as she climbs down from the bench.

I drape my arm over her shoulder and pull her to my side as I begin to navigate us back to where I parked the bike.

"What? Because you told me your ex tried to kill you in one breath, and then took mine away in the next."

"That's not how he almost killed me." She's quiet, and I don't think she meant for me to hear that or to say it out loud.

"We're going to keep walking, but I have a whole new set of questions now."

She sighs again, and I feel her body slump a little against mine.

"Of course, you do."

"If you didn't want me to know, you wouldn't have said anything." I hug her to me, "Everything is enhanced with the serum, including my hearing. I'm pretty sure you knew that."

She's silent until we get back to the bike, and then she speaks up.

"I'll need to fill you in on everything, if you're interested in whatever this is." She gestures between us and looks up hopefully.

"I mean, unless you want to leave me in the woods too."

I can't believe she could even joke about that. I want to rip this kid's head off for doing that to her.

"Don't even joke. It's not funny." I grab her hand and raise it to press a kiss to her fingers. "You use humor just like Stark. Are you sure you're not blood?"

She grins and reaches for the helmet she used earlier and straps it on.

Once she's seated behind me, I turn slightly to look at her.

"I am very interested, Bella." I kick the bike alive. "Whatever this is."

"Good. Take me home, Mr. Rogers." She wraps her arms around me and snuggles in as I take off, and we leave Brooklyn behind.

When we reached the tower, I felt her sigh against me. Once we were parked and in the elevator, Bella is distant and quiet.

She's no longer holding my hand and is staring at the floor. When we reach the penthouse level, she steps out without a word, but as soon as she realizes I'm not behind her, she turns around.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" I ask as I slowly step out of the elevator.

She fidgets from foot to foot and won't look at me.

"I can't … and I don't think I should." Her voice is barely above a whisper, and she still won't look at me.

I step toward her. "You implied he tried to kill you. I don't think I can let that go."

Bella finally looks up at me. "I need you to."

I take a step away from her and rub my hands over my face.

"What if I can't?" I turn back to her and can see the tears welling in her eyes. "I feel something for you, Bella. I can't deny that. There is something between us." I grab her hands and pull her to me. "I know you can feel it. Don't ask me to just ignore this. That's not who I am or what I do."

She sighs and pulls away from me slightly. "I get that … but you need to understand that I can't tell you because I do feel this between us. I want to protect you."

"Damned if we do …"

"Damned if we don't." She nods and wraps her arms around my waist as I lean down and rest my chin on the top of her head.

"You know there isn't a lot that can actually hurt me." I'm joking, trying to lighten the mood. I want to see her smile again.

"You don't understand, Steve." Bella pulls away from me suddenly and begins to pace. "He can!"

I scoff and start to protest, but the look on her face stops me.

"Edward and his family … I almost told you before, but you were called away. They're dangerous, Steve. I understand that now." She starts pacing again. "I thought I understood before, but now that I know what he's capable of … Believe me, they can hurt you."

"Bella, I'm not saying I'm invincible, but let's face facts. Not much is going to tear me down." I'm a little smug; there's no denying that. I also have a point.

"Look, they're not like me or you. They're not even really—"

"Isabella!" A voice thunders from the stairs above us, and I'd almost forgotten that we were in the living room in the penthouse. We both look up to see Thor leaning over the railing and smiling at us.

"Um, hi?" She's met him before, many times. He's an intimidating presence in any situation.

Luckily he's in "earth" clothes and left the damned hammer somewhere else.

"Isabella, I have been looking to speak to you about the Native people in the state where you once resided." He stands up and smiles. "I've heard tales of them being shapeshifters."

In that one remark, something has changed. The air around us is suddenly tight, and Bella has shifted away from me and is moving toward the stairs.

"Uh, yeah. The Quileute tribe has a lot of stories about shapeshifters in the tribe. I was really good friends with some kids who lived on the reservation, and they told me the stories." She smiles broadly and starts up the stairs. "I'd love to tell you."

"Fantastic! I came across a shapeshifter on another world, and I'm very curious to see if the circumstances are in any way similar." Thor is grinning widely and winks at me.

Frustration rolls over me in waves. Instead of speaking up and asking Bella to finish our conversation, I turn to walk toward my room.

I've kept my room on this first floor level of the penthouse for convenience, and I'm grateful I can escape to it quickly and quietly.

Just before I get to the door and reach for the keypad, I hear light footsteps behind me.

"Steve?" I sigh.

Everyone said dating had gotten progressively harder as the years went on. I obviously wasn't prepared for it. "It's been a long day. I need to get some sleep." I key in my code, and my door pops open, but I don't enter. "Would you have told me? If he hadn't interrupted us, would you have told me?" I turn to face her, and I can see the resigned look creep over her face.

I know the answer.

"I want to. I want you to understand that." Bella tugs on the ends of her hair and lets out a frustrated sigh. "Can you trust me that it's for the best?"

"I don't know. Honesty and trust go hand in hand, you know."

She clears the few feet between us and places her hands on my chest.

"I can be honest without telling you this." Her eyes are large and pleading, "You can trust me without knowing this, at least for now."

I drop my forehead to hers and inhale deeply.

"I can try. I don't know how long it will last because I know there's something I don't know." I grab her hips and lift her gently and press my lips to hers. "But I want to try."

Bella wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me back.

I know JARVIS is always watching, which means Tony is possibly watching. I lower her back to the floor, and she smiles at me with swollen lips once more.

"Good. You're the best prize I've ever gotten."

Three months later

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Bella is perched on the arm of my couch and looking at me bemused.

"A family-type dinner with everyone there? Sure, I'm totally fine." I'm staring at my pale reflection in a mirror and fumbling with the buttons on my shirt.

Bella snorts behind me.

"I just don't understand why we're calling it a family dinner," I say as I undo every button and start again.

"Because we're a family?" She stares at my reflection, and I can't help but smile at her. "Clint and Pepper have been helping me all morning. Dr. Banner has been trying to help, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what a vegetable peeler looks like, so I made him take out the trash and run to the nearest bodega so he would seem helpful." I can't help but laugh as she sighs.

She looks tired; her hair is up in a messy ponytail, and her shirt is splattered with food stains.

"Steve, I never had this, okay?" I turn to look at her, and she's on the verge of tears.

I wrap my arms around her gently and kiss the top of her head.

"Don't cry." She sniffs a little and wraps her arms around my waist. I look down at her and decide on complete honesty. "Look, I'm just a little nervous because I'm pretty sure they're all getting suspicious. I'm not mentally ready for Tony to grill me about my 'intentions' with his goddaughter."

Bella snaps her head up to look at me, and I know I've crossed a line. She's so small and quiet most of the time that you don't realize she's got the temper she does … or the volume to match it.

"I love Uncle Tony, but I'm an adult. I don't need some men talking about their 'intentions'." She spits out the word, and I swear her volume goes up with every breath she takes. "And what do you mean you aren't mentally ready?" As soon as the words leave her lips, she freezes. Her eyes go wide, and her small hand smacks herself on the forehead.

"Jesus, Steve, I'm sorry. I am so sorry." The tears are back, but I stay rooted in my place. Since that night on Coney Island, we agreed that transparency, as much as we could give each other, was key.

"It's been six months since they found me." I slide my hands into my pockets. I don't want her to see how they still tremble. "Everything that I knew, everyone that I loved"—I close my eyes and sigh—"just gone. I didn't get to mourn. I just had to suck it up and move on." I walk across the living room to the window that overlooks the city. "I barely recognize this place. I don't know anyone, and I have to blindly trust the people who tried to lull me into a false sense of security when I woke up." I turn back to look at her, and I'm ashamed to see her with her arms wrapped around herself and crying silently.

"Then they made you fight again." She hiccups, and whatever spell I'm under is broken. I go to her and pull her onto the couch with me.

"I've only ever wanted to do what was right. Defending the city was the right thing to do. I feel so lost here sometimes. It's too loud now, and there are too many people."

Bella pulls away from me and sighs.

"Did you ever talk to that therapist? We talked about PTSD, Steve. It's real, and it's nothing to be ashamed of."

I don't answer her, which is all the answer she needs.

"I can bring a tray up for you so you don't have to be down there."

"It's not just that." I grab her hand and kiss her knuckles. "You've had a lot of time to grieve and move on from your ex. I just—"

"Do you need more time? I can give you more time." She stands up and starts pacing. "We've only been seeing each other for three months, Steve. I've done the be all-end all type of relationship, and it's draining." Bella stops pacing and smiles at me.

"I just want to be with you. I won't be a doormat or a second thought. So, when you figure out what you want, I'll still be here." She moves to me and raises up to kiss me. "Just don't take too long, okay?" She walks toward my front door. "I need to change. Fix your shirt and roll up your sleeves, all right? It's going to be fine. I made a cherry pie just for you."

She slips out, and I know she's right. I can feel it deep in my bones, but there's something else coming.

I don't know what it is or when it will happen.

But it's going to be big.

A/N: If you enjoyed, please review!