Eliwats22's request for the boys to have "the talk." (Hope you like it, especially since it's the most awkward thing that I've written) Dick is 13, Jason is 12, Tim is 12, and Damian is 9 when they have the talk.

Chapter 56: The Talk

Dick's POV

I reached for my costume and started to slip it on. I love patrol.

"Dick, I want to talk to you."

I turned to find Batman without a cowl standing behind me. Normally we do not have talks before patrol. Am I in trouble? "Um okay." I reply.

He motioned for me to sit down.

"Dick, I think it's time we had the talk."

"Bruce, we're talking now." I replied.

"No Dick, we need to have… the talk… the sex talk."

"No! It's okay! Really! We do not have to talk about this! I already know!" I scream as my face turns bright red.

"I've noticed you've taken an interest in Barbara, Donna, and Kara lately. I think we need to have this talk."

"No! It's okay! I've already had health class! I know!"

"This isn't up for debate. Now, what do you think sex is?"

Oh my God! Make it stop! I only stared at him in horror before he cleared his throat.

"Sex, is when two married people-"

"You don't have to be married." I interrupted him.

I quickly shut up a he glared at me. "Richard John Grayson-Wayne, if I ever catch you having sex before you get married, you will regret it! And if Jim Gordon or Clark shows up at my door-"

"Does this mean that you've never done it before, since you're not married?" I asked innocently.

"This isn't about me."

"Is this one of those do as I say, not as I do things?"

"Richard, pay attention and do not interrupt me. Now, sex is when two married people sleep together, because they love each other-"

"Does that mean you love Selina, Talia, Vicky, Summer, Diana-"

"Richard! This is not about me!"

"Bruce, you're turning red… Do you need to lie down?"

"No!"

"Bruce, I have a question."

"What?" he asked wearily.

"Where do babies come from?"

Jason's POV

"Jason, I think it's time we had the talk." Bruce said.

"No! I know! Dick, help!" I screamed.

"Jason, stop screaming! Take this seriously!" he ordered.

No! This is so awkward! Then again, I could have some fun with Bruce…

"Bruce, what is an orgasm?"

His face paled. "You don't need to know."

"What's the best way to have sex?"

"Jason Peter Todd-Wayne, if I ever catch you having sex, you will regret it!"

"When can I start having sex?"

Bruce looked as if he was about to a heart attack before recovering. "When you're married."

"Bruce, are you still a virgin?"

"Jason, we are not talking about me-"

"Aha! So you admit it!" I interrupted.

"Jason. Pay. Attention." he growled.

"What's your favorite position? Do I need to be on top or on bottom-"

"Jason! I am not going to give you tips or teach you how to have sex! And you are not to have sex until you get married!"

"If I can't have sex, can I masturbate?"

Tim's POV

"Tim, I need to talk to you." Bruce said as he entered the library and took a seat beside me.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No. You didn't do anything wrong… we need to have the talk."

"About intercourse?"

"Okay... How much do you know?" Bruce asked.

"Well, sex is when a male inserts his penis into a vagina for reproduction purposes after they've gotten married. Do you want me to go into further detail? I've already had biology."

"No!" Bruce shouted as he blushed before recovering. "Do you have any questions?"

I shook my head. "It's not anything I have to worry about. I'm too young to get married."

"Tim, I think we're good on this subject for a while."

Damian's POV

"Damian, we need to talk… I've noticed that you have taken an interest in Mia and-"

"Father, I have already had the talk with Mother."

"But, you were only seven when Talia gave you to me."

"Yes Father, I am aware of that." I replied.

"Damian, I think we need to have this talk."

"Father, I have already heard of your previous failures in trying to approach the subject with Grayson, Todd, and Drake. If I have questions, I shall look it up online."

"Okay, but you can always come to me."

"Thank you Father." I replied as he left.

I pulled the novel, Fifty Shades of Grey from underneath my bed. The internet said this would answer all of my questions.