Rey did not know how much time passed with her sitting in the dark, running her fingers through Ben's – incredibly soft – hair before the door cracked open. At first, Rey was worried it was some Resistance pilot or officer and that she would have to explain what was going on, who they were and why they were not dangerous. Thankfully, it was Leia. Rey smiled and Leia eyed her suspiciously before returning the smile. Rey's heart sank, she was not used to Leia and Han having no idea who she was.
"You got him to go to sleep," Leia said, quietly, as she entered and slowly shut the door behind her. "I'm impressed. My son is very stubborn, not sure where he gets that from." Leia laughed quietly, almost sadly.
"Trust me, I know." Rey agreed with a quiet laugh of her own. She looked down at Ben who was fast asleep in her lap. He looked more relaxed and at peace than she had ever seen him before. The years melted away from his face, he looked like a boy.
"I'm sure you do." Leia laughed knowingly, casting a look between Rey and her son as she took a seat on the bed across from Rey.
"So, you've spoken with the other Resistance leaders?" Rey asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
"I have," Leia began, setting her walking stick against the bed and folding her hands in her lap. "They are aware that Ben was a high-ranking official in the First Order, he would have to be to have access to the information he provided, and that he has defected. I did not mention the name Kylo Ren." Leia shuddered at her son's former alias. "However, I am not sure how long we will be able to keep that up." Leia added. "Especially, once they've seen that."
Leia gestured to Ben's lightsaber which Rey had unclipped from his belt and had set on the bed beside his sleeping form. Rey furrowed her brow at the thing, remembering the horrible, crackling red blade pressed up against her own, the heat from it burning her face as snow fell slowly all around them.
"It is quite distinctive, isn't it?" Rey scrunched up her nose, causing Leia to laugh.
"That it is," Leia agreed with a smile and then she sighed. "We can't protect him forever, Rey." Her voice was sad, the voice of a mother whose son's life was up in the air. "This war is bigger than any one person, bigger than you or me, bigger than him."
Rey's hand stilled, her fingers twisted in Ben's dark curls. She knew that Leia was right, she had known that when she died fighting the Emperor, so why did it hurt so much? Surely there was a reason they were given a second chance, they could make things right this time, that had to be the reason. Rey simply nodded, acknowledging what Leia had said.
"Were we very close in your time, you and I?" Leia asked with a warm smile. Rey couldn't help but smile back, her eyes welling. She still couldn't believe that Leia was here in front of her.
"Yes," Rey nodded. "You were my master."
"Oh?" Leia looked at Rey quizzically. "Why was I…" Then, a sudden realization and sadness fell over her face. "Ah, never mind."
Rey was grateful that Leia did not probe further. As close as Rey felt to Leia, Luke, and Han, she did not feel that their fates were hers to tell. If that was something Ben wished to share with them at some point, that would be his choice to make.
"When are we headed to Starkiller?" Rey asked, Ben mumbled something below her, but he seemed relaxed still. Not a nightmare, she felt confident about that. If anything changed, if she would wake him up immediately. Ben was right that they couldn't risk Snoke and the Emperor breaking into his mind, but he also needed to sleep. Ben would run himself ragged if no one stopped him.
"In the morning, there are a few things to prepare still." Leia said tensely. "I didn't have a chance to ask Ben and you before I ran off earlier, but I assume you will be joining the mission?"
"Of course!" Rey said almost too loudly. Ben stirred but did not wake. She continued more quietly, "I mean, who here knows the base better than Ben and I, well besides…" Realization hit Rey all at once. She inhaled sharply. "Finn!" She whispered. Confusion was written over Leia's face.
"Finn is – was – is – my friend. He was a stormtrooper but he deserted when, oh but that won't happen now because…" Rey looked at the man sleeping below her with wild eyes. Finn would never be at the siege on Jakku because that wouldn't happen now. Rey was certain that he would still want to leave the First Order, that's just who Finn was, his heart was too big for the stormtrooper corps. Now though, there would be no Poe around to help him. He could die. Rey was close to hyperventilating.
"Rey, slow down, breathe." Leia said, her voice low and slow and comforting.
"I've got to help Finn, I have to." Rey said finally. She had no idea where he was. He had once been positioned on Starkiller, but Rey doubted that he still was. Would Ben know where Finn was? She was almost sure he wouldn't, but she would have to ask him anyway.
"Rey, I'm sure everyone here would be happy to help your friend, if we can." Leia stressed the last part. This war is bigger than any one person. Rang in Rey's ears. She knew that was true, she really did, but Finn had risked his life to save her when she was imprisoned on Starkiller Base. She would find him, and she would help him escape the First Order. There was no other option.
"Now," Leia said standing, leaning heavily on her cane. "I think the both of you could use a change of clothes before you head out."
"I can't move," Rey said, looking down at Ben who slept soundly in her lap. She did not have the heart to wake him, not when he was at peace like this. "I promised him I would stay." Leia smiled and something warm touched her eyes.
"Of course, I've already asked Han to grab some clothes for Ben. I'll do my best to guess your size." Leia opened the door and looked back just once before closing it. "And thank you, for taking care of my boy."
Before Rey could respond the door closed. Rey's mind raced, there was so much that had to be done. They had to destroy Starkiller Base, save Finn wherever he was, kill Snoke… or did they have to do that? Was Snoke an actual entity outside of Palpatine's influence? If they destroyed the Emperor, would Snoke go with him or would he keep running the First Order, unaffected by his master and creator's death? Was he a puppet or a minion? There were too many unanswerable questions, too many variables. Rey's head pounded. She laid her head back on the wall behind her and closed her eyes.
When Rey woke, because apparently she had fallen asleep at some point – again, she had to stop doing that, Ben was looking down at her. It would seem, they had shifted at some point and now Rey was laying on the bed with her head resting on Ben's chest. He was just watching her, his eyes soft in the dark light. She shot up into a sitting position.
"I'm sorry," She muttered. Ben quirked an eyebrow at her. "I tried to stay awake."
"It's fine." He said blankly.
"How did you sleep?" The corner of Ben's mouth curled up into something that was almost, very nearly a smile.
"Better than I have in a long time." He sighed and then he looked away from her. "Thank you." He added softly. "I think we're safe, I mean, I think that my barriers held."
"That's good," Rey said as she stood and stretched out her arms. Her whole body had grown stiff after sharing an uncomfortable cot with Ben for several hours. "Obviously, that's very good, and I'm glad that you slept well too. We should get going."
Rey saw two neatly folded piles of clothes sitting at the edge of the bed to her right. She picked up the pile that she assumed was for her and handed Ben the other pile who took it, a curious expression on his face.
"Your mother arranged these for us, apparently. I'll go find another room to change in and meet you in the hall."
The clothes Leia picked for Rey did fit well enough, but they weren't what she was used to. Even as a member of the Resistance, Rey had preferred loose, breathable clothes, much like what she had worn on Jakku. She had been provided this time with pretty basic resistance garb, a plain, light-colored, long-sleeved shirt, a tan vest covered in pockets and brown trousers. Rey wasn't exactly happy, but it would do for now. She was eager to wash her clothes from Jakku.
Rey clipped her utility belt around her hips and panicked for a moment. Her lightsaber – it was gone. Except, she remembered a moment later, that it was not. She had not gotten it yet. Luke's old lightsaber was still tucked away in a dusty box under Maz Kanata's palace. She sighed, frustrated.
Rey stepped out in the hall to find Ben already waiting. He wore a dark-blue jacket over an off-white shirt, that seemed almost a bit tight, and brown trousers, similar to the ones she had been given. Rey clapped a hand over her mouth to keep herself from laughing. Ben shot her an incredulous look.
"What?" He asked, indignantly.
"I've just never seen you in anything but black." She said, choking back another laugh. She did not find his look humorous, in fact, he looked quite nice. It was just, in this outfit, he looked the spitting image of his father aged down thirty-so years.
"Yeah, well, I prefer black." Ben muttered, rolling his eyes.
"I don't know, I think this suits you." Rey said without thinking. She instantly felt some heat rise in her cheeks.
"Good to know," Ben said, looking down the hall behind him. "We should probably get going though. I imagine they'll be leaving soon."
"Oh, speaking of," Rey started, her hand pawing absentmindedly at where her lightsaber should have been. "We'll need to make a pit-stop before heading to Starkiller, if possible. I need to get my lightsaber."
Ben and Rey entered the main complex of the base just as group of Resistance fighters, or perhaps the entire Resistance, Ben thought with an internal shudder, were being briefed on the mission to destroy Starkiller Base. Ben listened halfheartedly. He, Rey and a few insurgents would enter the Base, all of them armed with explosives. Han had offered to fly the group in, he knew how to get past the shields, though he had warned Ben's mother that she would not like how he did it, but Ben had refused. He would not let his father anywhere near that base. Ben knew the clearance codes anyway, if they took a stolen First Order cargo ship – how the Resistance had gotten ahold of one of these, Ben had no idea – they could slip in unnoticed.
Inside, they would deactivate the shields and give the go-ahead to the pilots to start their runs at the base. Ben and Rey's group would also place explosive strategically around the base, just as his father had been doing before… No, Ben would not follow that train of thought, not right now.
Once the shields were down, Ben and Rey would head down to the thermal oscillator. The weapon was charged and fired, of course, from the command center, but there was a manual bypass on the oscillator in case of emergencies. The bypass was used to shut the process down, but after studying the plans and schematics Ben had provided, Rey and the two mechanics that would accompany them, were confident that they could reverse the bypass, turning the weapon on.
Many were nervous about this particular part of the plan, what if the weapon fired before the X-Wings landed the killing shot? It would end in catastrophe. One of the generals, a man Ben did not recognize and whose name he did not remember, explained that it was really the only way. Ben had agreed. Hitting the weapon when it was fully charged and exploiting the weakness of the Base was the only way to destroy it. And either way, the weapon was not fully operational. If Ben remembered correctly, they had tried powering it up, a test run, about a week ago, and the thing early blew itself apart.
"He's right," Ben said, breaking his silence. All eyes in the room turned to him, the First Order defector. Some narrowed their eyes while some, surprisingly, watched him with the same amount of respect they had given the generals. "It's really the only way. The weapon needs to be charged, otherwise, good luck blowing up a planet with a few X-Wings."
Ben's comment earned him a glare from the pilot, Dameron. It was clear that the man did not like or trust Ben. When it was announced to the group gathered that Ben had been a high-ranking official within the First Order before deserting and bringing this information to them, Dameron had been one of the few to call out their distrust of Ben's loyalty. Ben did not particularly care one way or the other what Dameron thought of him. It was clear that the pilot was cocky, arrogant and overconfident in his abilities.
There had been a bit of an uproar when Rey had explained that they would need to stop on Takodana beforehand. A few had even turned around to throw insults at Ben when he explained how it was imperative that Rey had her weapon if they wanted this mission to be successful. Most everyone calmed down when Ben's mother stepped in, though a few still grumbled complaints to themselves. Dameron seemed the most agitated.
"What do you need a lightsaber for, anyway?" Dameron asked indignantly, his arms crossed in front of his chest, staring daggers at Rey whom he seemed to dislike out of her association with Ben alone. He wore a dark red and brown leather jacket. Ben recognized it vaguely, perhaps Dameron had been wearing it when Ben had interrogated him? "What are you, a Jedi?" He smirked. Ben looked at Rey who was silent for a moment.
"Yes, I am." She answered finally, her voice brimming with a sureness, a confidence that Ben envied. Dameron laughed.
"That's not possible," The pilot shook his head, a humorless laugh escaping him. "Luke Skywalker is the last Jedi, that's why we're trying to find him. I grew up on Yavin IV, sister. Luke's temple burned down, everyone died."
Ben flinched as the memories flooded back. Luke's lightsaber above his head, the hut crashing down around them, the freak storm, the fire spreading – he hadn't wanted any of that, but he couldn't save them. Voe, she had called him a murderer. She wasn't wrong, Ben supposed. If Rey responded, Ben was too lost in is own mind to hear her, he only snapped out of it when Dameron turned his attention to Ben directly.
"What about you, First Order? You a Jedi too?" Dameron smirked his eyes darting to the hilt attached to Ben's hip. Ben had half a mind to deck the pilot here and now, but he held back.
"Nope," Ben said, one corner of his mouth quirked up. "Just a guy with a lightsaber." Dameron did not like that response, Ben could tell, and satisfaction swelled in his chest. Rey looked up at Ben and rolled her eyes. He just chuckled back at her.
Rey saw the Jedi as ideals, paragons of good and justice – perhaps some were, but Ben wasn't as sure. He had once told her that it was time for old thing to die, the Sith and the Jedi. Those two, outdated, overly strict religions had caused the galaxy enough heartache to last until the end of time, Ben thought. Some of Ben's opinions had changed, of course. When he had said that originally, he had intended for the two of them to rule through the darkside of the force. Ben had returned to the light, but he did not consider himself to be a Jedi, and he doubted that he ever would. Maybe part of him felt that he was not worthy of the title.
"Alright," Leia Organa's commanding voice echoed through the room. She clapped her hands once and the crowd went silent. "I think we've wasted enough time here, let's get moving."
The Resistance members, aggravated but compliant, stood and began shuffling towards either the cargo ship or their own X-Wings.
Tearing away from Rey for just a moment, Ben approached his mother who looked up at him like she still could not believe he was here.
"I can't imagine the First Order knows the location of this base currently, however, I would prepare an evacuation anyway. Once the destroyers get here it's too late, did you see the information on hyperspace tracking?" Ben was staring to feel the anxiety now, he wasn't used to this – feeling nervous before a battle.
"I did. We're looking into ways around that, but you're right." Leia smiled warmly at her son. "Ben, do you have any idea how incredible the information you've provided will be? How many people you'll have saved?"
People I've already destroyed once, Ben thought painfully. It didn't feel like he was saving anyone, maybe sparing them, but that was a different thing entirely.
"Be careful, please." His mother said, placing a hand softly on his sleeve. Ben hand no words. He nodded and turned to find Rey.
Rey was waiting for him outside of the bunker, chatting with one of the Resistance fighters that would be in their squadron. The fighter, casting a nervous look at the former First Order officer, waved Rey a quick goodbye before scurrying off to the ship. Ben saw a small orange and white BB droid rolling towards the X-Wings, keeping close to Dameron's heels. He pointed a finger at it and leaned down close to Rey.
"Its that the droid?" He asked, his voice low so that only she could hear him. Rey just shook her head. "I finally found it; I feel fulfilled." Rey laughed at that and elbowed him in the side.
"Ouch!" He said with a laugh, drawing away from her, though it hadn't hurt at all.
"Is that what we're doing," Rey started, trying to look serious and failing. "We're joking about it all now? Glad to get the memo."
"Hey," Ben shot back. "If you can make jokes about my wardrobe and my ship," he started counting out each offense on his fingers. "I think it's only fair that I get to crack a few jokes myself."
They were both laughing now as they climbed into the cargo ship and the pilot ran through the launch sequence. Ben could not remember the last time he had just had fun with someone. It felt great. He smiled despite himself.
"Just a guy with a lightsaber?" Rey whispered in his direction, shaking her head in amused disbelief. "Where did you come up with that one?"
"That's what I am." Ben whispered back, shrugging his shoulders. Rey exhaled a laugh.
"I suppose. Poe is furious with us." She sighed.
"I'm unconcerned with what Dameron thinks of me." Ben said, as the ship took of and headed towards the atmosphere.
"I know." Rey said, rolling her eyes. "Poe can be – difficult, for sure, but he is kind. He's a good man."
Ben bristled at that. He wondered how Rey would describe him. He knew that the words 'good man' could not be used for Ben Solo. 'Pretty alright, considering,' was probably the best he could get. Ben could feel his face fall. Rey must have noticed the change in him as she looked up curiously, Ben did not meet her eyes, pretending to be focused on the pilot. She placed a gentle hand on his arm. He was blown away by how much it comforted him. He sighed and allowed himself to relax some.
Luckily, Takodana was more-or-less on the way to Illum and it did not take all too long to arrive. It would have taken less time had the pilot not transitioned so inefficiently between hyperspace lanes. During transit, Ben had mapped out at least 3 quicker routes to Takodana and none of them included taking Hydian Way to the Gamor Run, but Ben held his tongue. He knew that his companions were already upset about the delay, there was no need to upset them further.
"Keep the ship running," Rey said, already halfway down the ramp as soon as they landed. "It will really only take a minute."
"I'll come with you," Ben offered, not excited about being trapped in a transport full of Resistance soldiers, even if he was fighting with them now. Rey nodded in agreement and he followed her silently.
Maz's palace was as bustling with activity as always, the air was filled with music, shouting and various flavors of smoke. It was Ben's least favorite kind of place. It was an exact replica of every seedy cantina and back-ally bar Ben's father had ever taken him to. Ben disliked being surrounded by so many people, he always felt as though he were being watched.
They were approached by a short, orange alien who eyed them suspiciously behind huge lenses that were either goggles or glasses, or perhaps they were both. Her clothes were simple and most likely hand made, and many metal bracelets clattered together as she rested her hands on her hips.
"Maz," Rey said in greeting. Maz Kanata narrowed her eyes appraisingly. Ben recognized the look, the smuggler's gaze. Maz was sizing them up, were they threats, easy marks, unlikely allies? Not threats, Ben thought as he noticed Maz's shoulders relax.
"You know me," Maz said, her attention on Rey. "I don't know you." Rey shook her head in response. "You're here for something."
"We are," Rey agreed. "Luke Skywalkers lightsaber. I can't explain why but I need it. I can feel it, below the palace, it's calling to me." Ben's eyes flicked to Rey. She could feel it? He would think she was making up some excuse to take it if he didn't know Rey better, she was a terrible actress, she was too honest.
"I do know you." Maz said, pointing to Ben. "You were this big the last time I saw you," Maz raised her hand only just slightly over her own head. "Hiding behind your father's legs, Ben Solo."
Maz smiled and turned. She waved a hand indicating Rey and Ben to follow her, which they did. Maz lead them down a spiral staircase into the depths of the palace. A short dimly lit corridor with a single locked door waiting at the end. Ben could feel it now, the air vibrated around them with energy, a familiar presence surrounded him, one that he could not place. He turned to say something to Rey but shut his mouth when he saw her.
Rey's face was blank, her lips parted slightly, her gaze far off in the distance. It looked to Ben as if Rey were somewhere else, as if she were in a daze. Ben's pace slowed and Maz stopped as Rey reached out to the door at the end of the hall. The lock popped open and fell to the stone floor with a loud clang.
The room beyond was filled to the brim with boxes and artifacts, all covered with a thick layer of dust. A small, plain wooden box stood out to Ben, it was the box Rey approached. Inside was Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber, the lightsaber that Luke had taken up during the Galactic Civil War, the lightsaber that had chosen Rey in the snow on Starkiller Base. Rey reached for it tentatively. When she touched it, the energy in the room changed, it became dark and electric.
Rey whirled around and screamed at seemingly nothing, her arm extended, reaching out to no one. She fell to the ground, throwing her arms in front of her face protectively.
"No," She cried. The fear and pain in her voice tore at something in Ben.
"Rey," Ben breathed, taking a step towards her. A small hand reached out and stopped him. Maz said nothing, just shook her head slowly. Ben's lip trembled. Rey was afraid, in pain. He had to help her.
Rey sat up and her gaze turned to something in the distance beyond Ben. He turned his head, but all he saw was an empty hallway. Rey's face grew softer, sadder, tears formed in her eyes. Her hand reached for her chest and grasped at the fabric there, twisting it between her fingers. Slowly, a smile spread across her face, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. Ben knelt beside her and reached out a hand but hesitated. Rey's smile fell, she grasped at the empty stone floor in front of her.
"No, no, no," She whispered, tears falling fast and hard now. The lightsaber fell from her hand, clattering against the stone.
Rey's face whipped up to Ben, she was back. Her eyes glowed with sorrow and something else Ben couldn't quite place. Without a word, Rey wrapped her arms around Ben's neck, she buried her face in his shoulder and wept, her back heaving with heavy sobs. Ben was shocked still at first, unsure of what to do, how to handle this. He delicately placed his arms around her and held her close, let her cry. They stayed like that for some time, neither speaking. After some time, Rey pulled back, using the cuff of her sleeve to wipe her face.
"We should get going." She said, her voice raw and hoarse.
Ben nodded in agreement and helped Rey up onto her feet. He thought to ask her what had happened, what she saw, but thought better of it. It wasn't his place to ask. Ben stomach dropped remembering how disastrously it had gone the last time he and Rey had talked about their visions.
Rey approached Maz and held the lightsaber hit out in front of her in both hands. Rey said nothing, her breathing still heavy and ragged, she sniffled once or twice. Lifted the goggles from her face and placed one hand on the lightsaber hilt. A ray of light fell through a crack in the ceiling and landed on their hands.
"This lightsaber, it belongs to you." Maz said, her voice soft, her words chosen carefully. "I think that it has for a long time. Take it." She pulled her hand away and Rey attached the saber to her belt. "I can sense that you are afraid." Ben saw Rey stiffen; her hand frozen at her side. "I am not a Jedi, but I do know the force. Do not let fear guide you. Do not fear the future, it is what we make it. Destiny is a path you choose."
Maz stepped aside to allow Ben and Rey to pass. They entered the transport silently. No one said a thing, even though Rey and Ben had been gone far longer than a minute. The ship rose and entered the black in a tense quiet. A few nervous faces flicked their attention to Rey but just as quickly turned away.
"Ground team in the air." The pilot said, communicator pressed to his lips.
"Finally," Crackled the irritated voice of Poe Dameron. "What is your ETA?"
"Are you alright?" Ben turned to Rey, his voice softer than he thought possible. She still looked incredibly shaken, her bottom lip trembled, and her cheeks glistened in the cargo ship's lights with fresh tears. She said nothing, just looked back at Ben with large watery eyes.