He should be outraged. The Prince of the Fire Nation, spat on by a lowly water peasant, even after he chose to be kind to her. Yet he does not feel anger; he has betrayed this girl's trust, joined the side that killed her friend, and has captured her to go along with his sister's plan. Fire Prince or not, he knows she has every right to hate him.

Those sapphire eyes, filled with loathing and fire, staring straight at his own amber ones. An act of defiance, of self-worth, of willfulness.

He should value his pride more than the safety of this girl. He should bind her mouth shut again, not caring if she cannot get help when men become intoxicated. Yet he wipes the spit from his face and turns, lips pursed, her gag still on his fist, and strides away.

.

Azula meets his eye when he exits the worker's area.

"Why is her gag in your hand?" She questions, her eyes flickering to his fist.

"Didn't I send him up to you? One of the workers tried to molest the girl."

"Yes, I confronted him, and punished him accordingly." She looks at him expectantly and repeats her question. "Why is her gag in your hand?"

"I took it off her."

Azula does not look pleased.

"Look, if I hadn't heard the man's yell, he would have raped her. Do you think an experience like that would make her more willing to cooperate with whatever you want her to do? Besides, I warned her not to make unnecessary noise."

"Very well."

The pair sit down, silence filling the room. It's been so many years since he was last in the Fire Nation, and not all his memories of the place are good. What if his father does not want him home? What if everyone still sees him as a disgrace? What if this is all some trick planned out by Azula, just like last time?

"Zuzu, don't look so sour. We're going home." Azula tells him, crossing her arms.

She is right, of course. And yet, if they are going home, why does part of him not want to go?

—

The workers avoid looking at her.

After seeing the anger in Zuko's eyes, it's not a surprise that they do not glance her way and seem to repel from the corner where she sits. She attempts, as she did when they first brought her here, to break the rock around her hands and ankles by banging it against the walls and floor of the ship, but it is a mere waste of her energy. Not that she will be using energy any time soon, assuming it will be at least a few weeks stuck here before they arrive in the Fire Nation, and even then, she will probably be locked away in a cell.

What will they do to her? Will they interrogate her? Torture her? Enslave her? Perhaps just keep her locked up as a war prisoner?

Yet, what's the point in guessing? She'll find out in a few days anyway. But if she doesn't think about something, her brain travels back to Aang, and the image of his burnt, broken body returns to the forefront of her mind.

The only thing worse than mourning alone, she decides, is dying alone. Perhaps if she had just run a little faster, or fought a little harder, she could have held him in her arms as his body went limp. She could have closed his eyes, instead of seeing, from a distance, how hollow they looked without life in them.

Aang, of all people, deserved a peaceful death - a death blessed with the trait that defined his people. He deserved to be cradled as he passed, assured he would be okay, soothed by his newfound family. Instead, the spirits allowed his last moments to be spent broken and burning on the ground, terror filling his eyes and agony filling his body, without even a chance for a simple goodbye. What were her last words to him? She racks her brain for far too long, and still cannot recall them - how could she forget, now that he is gone? Now that memories are all she has of him?

And suddenly, the fact that she will never again talk to him, waterbend with him, make fun of Sokka with him, fly atop the back of Appa with him, finally hits her; the fact that their time as friends, as travelling partners, as family, is over so soon. All the things she could have said, jokes they could have shared, places they could have visited - gone within the blink of an eye; within a flash of lightning.

And suddenly, she feels a tear roll down her cheek, and then another, and then another. It is a strange relief to cry - to at least give him the sorrow that his death deserves. She clings to the feeling, forcing more tears until they begin to feel natural, saltwater coating her face as she begins to gasp for air. Yet, it is over far more quickly than she would like, her familiar numbness returning, and she cannot shake the feeling that she owes him more.

Perhaps her crying is a blessing and a curse; her hands are still tied, and she cannot wipe her tears.

—

He needs air. Memories of his banishment have begun to haunt his mind and his lungs feel trapped inside the stuffy ship. He walks onto the deck, the midnight breeze tingling on his face, the sea air still slightly foreign to him after his months in the Earth Kingdom. It is the type of cold that stings his skin, and yet, he finds that he can still feel the heat from the torches that lit up the arena and the sweat that gathered on his forehead all those years ago. He can still feel his stomach drop and the bile gather in his throat at the sight of his father, his golden eyes harsh, unmistakable. He can still feel the shame of kneeling down, his arms shaking and voice raw, begging the Firelord not to fight him.

He can still feel the agony that exploded in his eye and clawed at his flesh; the blinding pain that stained the world red as the scream ripped from his throat, the arena collapsing around him, the malice in his father's eyes the last thing he saw before everything went black.

"Aren't you cold?" Mai's voice inquires, snapping him out of his thoughts. He suddenly remembers Ty Lee whispering to him, at age twelve, that Mai liked him; remembers how she kissed his cheek the day he left, her lips soft against the good side of his face. Even he had been able to tell that she was flirting with him earlier today; perhaps that means she still cares about him, after all his years away.

"I've got a lot on my mind. It's been so long, over three years since I was home. I wonder what's changed. I wonder how I've changed."

She yawns, clearly bored, and he immediately wishes he could take back everything he told her. "I just asked if you were cold, not for your whole life story."

How could he have been so stupid, to think that she would actually care about how he feels? He is going back to the place he has wished to return to for years, and still, he finds a way to complain; of course she wouldn't feel sympathy for him. Yet, as much as he curses himself, part of him cannot help being put out by her apathy, and he feels himself scowl.

Perhaps she notices, because she strolls over to him and stands so they are facing each other. Her eyes seem colder than he remembers. "Stop worrying."

She says it as if it's comfort; to him, it feels more like criticism. He wishes he could simply stop worrying, and wishes even more that he knew for a fact that everything would be fine when he arrives home. Yet, it's not as easy as she makes it seem.

He realises her eyes are focused on his lips, and for a moment, he feels both surprised and quite happy at the realisation. After all these years, after he has been an enemy to his nation, after his father has made one side of his face twisted and scarred and ugly, she still wants to kiss him. And she does - she leans in no uncertainty in her eyes, and her lips are as soft as he remembers. Yet, it's the lack of uncertainty that bothers him, as if she has just assumed that of course he wants to kiss her too.

Maybe he should want to. Maybe he should be grateful that any Fire Nation girl wants to kiss him, knowing his history, knowing what his scar means, seeing his scar. But he realises that maybe someone wanting to kiss you, someone liking you, doesn't mean they care about you in the way he thought it did; when she pulls away and waits for him to lean in this time, he can't quite bring himself to do it.

"What is it?" She asks, clearly put out.

"You never wrote," He says, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. She raises her eyebrows. "I was at sea for three years. You could have sent something."

A look of discomfort passes over her features, as if she isn't sure whether to feel guilt for not writing or annoyance at him for being bothered by it. "I didn't know you wanted letters."

"Well, there weren't exactly many people to talk to on the ship," He snaps, anger biting into his voice, and she crosses her arms over her chest. "Sorry. Forget it."

"I'm sorry too," She tells him, her voice still lacking feeling, and walks off of the deck without looking back at him.

Watching her leave, he feels like something has just ended. He isn't quite sure what it is, but he doubts she'll be kissing him again.

—

A/N: Thanks for reading this chapter! I've edited the Maiko bit (again lol) because it was pretty unclear where their relationship stood in my first version? But I mean.. for maiko i kinda feel like their relationship was very much physically based and though Zuko would obviously enjoy that, he's also a very emotional and quite romantic (i mean he tries? in the beach ep and stuff) guy and I think he'd be kinda put out by Mai never writing. Obviously we don't know if she ever did, but its never referenced in the show so I'm guessing not. Even in this scene in the show, we SEE Zuko scowl when Mai says her 'I just asked if you were cold line', and even him trying to open up to her about his worries etc indicates that he looks for emotional support in a romantic partner and expects more on both ends than just physicality? So based off that I think he would be upset at Mai never writing.. I think what really gets him in my rewrite is that she never indicated that she still gave a shit about him once he left, but now that he's back, she's kinda expecting that he'll just want to be w her as if nothing's changed since they were 13 and had childhood crushes on eachother? But I don't think he could really put that into words at this point lol

Of course Zuko and his huge emotions do contribute to the maiko relationship (in my opinion) not being the best in terms of healthiness and I think they both make mistakes, and in my mind, a large part of Zuko's decision to get w Mai is kinda the fact that... a girl likes him? I think his scar would obviously be a massive blow to his confidence and I think at this point in his character, he'd just be happy that anyone found him attractive :(( especially if they're like Mai and know the story behind it and how 'shameful/dishonourable/weak/etc' it shows him to be. Of course that's sad but also I think it's led them to date eachother when in reality, their personalities aren't very compatible. Lots of people say they're both emo or whatever but i mean... Zuko is v much 'i feel everything' vibes whereas Mai is v much 'I feel nothing' vibes which is clearly gonna run into lots of clashes. I mean... Mai is v dismissive of Zuko whenever he tries to share his emotions w her and I think for a guy who's spent his whole life with basically everyone close to him (except Iroh) telling him having strong emotions and morals is shameful and who's entire character arc is about regaining the 'goodness' in him that he's repressed from yrs of abuse... someone like Mai who 'doesn't care about anything' and represses basically all emotion wouldn't be the best match lmao

That's my opinion tho! I can kinda see the appeal of Maiko as like.. a two angsty teens relationship but I just don't really think it works as a long term thing

Anyway enough of my ramblings! Please review, fave and follow!

~Bri