She cannot sleep.
Not that she expects to. Not with the drunken yells of workers constantly filling her ears and the uncomfortable pain of cuffs digging into her wrists and ankles. Not with the memories of Aang haunting her mind and her fears of what is ahead crawling in her stomach. Her eyes are heavy and almost painful to keep open, but she cannot close them with all these people she does not trust around her - she may be tired and hungry and in pain, but she is not an idiot.
So, she forces her eyes open and stares at her feet, her shoes worn and muddy, her left leg stained pink from either Azula and Zuko's firebending.
What are Sokka and Toph doing right now? She wonders.
They're probably grieving over Aang, and worried sick for her. She has not heard from them since she was thrown in the Crystal Catacombs - for all she knows, they could still be in Ba Sing Se wondering where her and Aang are. More likely though, they are searching for her, or captured just as she is, or even dead, leaving her as the only one of their group still alive.
Or perhaps they'll swoop down on Appa right now and rescue her, and she will never have to face what lies ahead of her. She allows herself to wait a few seconds in case they do suddenly appear, before deciding it is wishful thinking.
Her eyelids begin to droop again and it takes more effort to keep them open, but she must. Everyone here is her enemy - she needs to remember that.
—
Sokka is not coping well.
Not that she is handling the situation skillfully by any means; Sokka is simply doing worse than her. As much as she has sobbed and shaken and cried out at the unfairness of it all, Sokka knew Aang for far longer than she had, and Katara is his sister - one that he had never been without for more than a few days, and one who he'd sworn to protect. Sometimes he cries with shudders heaving through his body and his arms twisted in an attempt to cradle himself, and sometimes yells - yells at Appa, at her, at the sky, his words meaningless and his voice raw, breaking; other times, he is silent and, unable to feel any movement atop Appa, she finds that she sometimes needs to reach out to check that he is still alive. Beneath what he says and does, she chooses not to try to imagine what he is going through - it makes her pain seem far too inconsequential.
That isn't to say that she has not shared much of his grief for Twinkletoes and Sweetness. She finds that the nicknames which seemed to be so clever and funny in the past feel stupid now, void of any meaning. She is proud to call herself tough and strong and independent, but she can no longer seem to find those qualities - who would be strong when one of their best friends has been murdered and another is missing? These people were her real family, who cared for the real her, and now, aside from Sokka, they are gone.
Katara may not be gone for good, of course; she knows that she has most likely been captured. But even if her heart is still beating, how long will it be before death finds her too? The pair seem to have lost hope already, but the waterbender was always the hopeful one. Toph and Sokka were the jesters, and there is nothing to joke about anymore.
—
He awakens to the rhythmic sound of crashing waves that remind him of his three years with Uncle on their ship. It seems like a lifetime ago he was searching to the ends of the earth for the avatar, instead of scavenging for food or travelling on an ostrich horse or working in a tea shop.
If that seems like a lifetime ago, how will he ever go back to the Fire Nation?
He has made his choice now though, and perhaps it was the right one. His life has always been meant for bigger things than serving tea and going on fruitless dates with girls who will never know his real name. Now, he will have his honour and his father's love, and alongside the restoration of his birthright, he will have the promise of a life of power and riches and unparalleled influence.
It doesn't seem like enough.
He sighs heavily; it's only been one day and he's already doubting himself. He has at least two or three weeks on this ship for nerves and regret and to gnaw at his mind - what state will he be in when they finally arrive?
He racks his brain for something to take his mind off his worries, and somehow, his thoughts land on Katara. She is away from her friends, the avatar is dead, and she is being held captive in the middle of the ocean - any suffering that he may face upon this boat seems incomparable to what she must be feeling. He thinks of her, hands and ankles bound, holes singed in her dress, injuries branded onto her skin and darkness clouding her mind.
He feels a sharp twang of guilt in his stomach.
He tries to ignore this. With a heavy breath, he gets out of bed and follows the sound of voices to get to Azula and her friends. They sit at a small table, steaming food in front of them.
"Zuzu, I'm glad you decided to join us." His sister says, rolling her eyes. "Come on then, sit down."
He takes the free seat in between Azula and Ty Lee, avoiding contact with Mai and instead looking at the masses of food in front of him. It feels like forever since he's eaten a meal like this, and this is just breakfast. The three girls continue their conversation as he eats, before Ty Lee looks over at him.
"So, Zuko, are you excited to go home?" She inquires, her large brown eyes focused on him.
"Of course." He lies.
She goes on to talk about how great he must feel, and how amazing of an opportunity he had to regain his honour in the Crystal Catacombs, and a plethora of other things that he nods along to halfheartedly, until he finishes his food.
"Azula," He says, cutting Ty Lee off.
"Yes?"
"Has the girl gotten food yet?"
"How should I know?"
He rolls his eyes - Azula has always acted superior to everything and everyone. In theory, he should be acting that way too, but supposes he will need to develop that over these next few weeks. Right now, though, he gets up from his chair and goes in search of the cook, finding him stirring a pot on the other end of the ship.
"Has the water tribe girl has been given food yet?" Zuko asks.
"No, Prince Zuko - do you want me to give her some scraps?" The cook says, gesturing to a few fatty bits of meat and the bruised ends of various vegetables.
"No, give her proper food. She's not a wolf-pig." Zuko crosses his arms.
"Oh… of course, Prince Zuko." The cook turns, embarrassed, and puts the same type of food that Zuko ate in a small bowl. He then passes it to one of the passing workers, who hurries downstairs with it.
"Thank you." Zuko gives the cook a slight smile before walking away. He allows himself to feel slightly better about Katara's position and the guilt that came from helping to put her there, but the feeling fades soon after it appears. How much good does well-cooked food do, when she will be left at the mercy of his sister as soon as the ship lands in the Fire Nation? If only he could do more, without Azula getting suspicious...
He stops himself. He is a Prince, just as the cook addressed him as, and she is a peasant - he does not need to help her.
He must stop thinking of her as Katara, the name she told him in the Crystal Catacombs. Over time, he has learned that names make you attached; that's why he called them the avatar, the waterbender and the non-bender. From now on, he will think of her as the waterbender or simply the girl, and he will think of her as his inferior.
This way, he will not get attached.
—
A/N: Thanks for reading chapter 3, I wasn't quite sure what to write for this one but I found some stuff to write about. One of the next chapters will skip a few weeks, because they're basically just on a ship and that's pretty boring.
Also I've joined the pro-bending circuit forum, it's an awesome ATLA and LOK writing competition, you should all check it out! Once all the teams have 4 members we can start writing :) I'm the firebender on makapu moose lions.
Please fave, follow and review!
~Bri