Somehow, he isn't surprised that his father was so quick to banish him again. He is angry and terrified and despondent, and he doesn't want to believe it, but as he sits in his room, he realises that, out of all the emotion flooding his veins, there is no shock, no surprise. His father didn't hesitate to banish him before, didn't hesitate to scar and humiliate him, didn't hesitate to make him an enemy of the Fire Nation; somewhere, in the back of his mind, he had almost expected something like this to happen; expected his father not to hesitate.
That doesn't make it hurt any less, though. He thinks back to the years of searching, of hunting, of clinging to the idea that if he found the Avatar, everything would be set right again. And all that - the endless days at sea, the even more endless nights sleeping on dirt with an empty stomach, the few weeks working as a humble tea server - for what? To have nerves clouding his mind for the past weeks? To be sent from his so-called home as soon as he arrives? To be screamed at by his father again, reminded that whatever he does just isn't good enough? And Agni, as much as he'll never forget what his father is like when he shouts, the memories are nothing compared to the real thing, and he was reminded of that today. The malice that punctured his voice, the way he bellowed that seemed to reverberate around Zuko's bones, the fury that lit his every word on fire, burning any ideas of fatherly love, burning his foolish hopes of things being set right, burning more scars onto his marred skin.
He feels tears prickling in his eyes, shame unfurling in his stomach at the thought that he is crying, after already disappointing his father so much. He doesn't want to leave tears here, doesn't want to spoil the dedacent velvet and lustrous silks that he feels so out of place next to with his saltwater; he'd rather there be no signs that he was ever here, rather that he packs his things and leaves and forgets that he came back in the first place, rather go and work in the tea shop in the lower ring with his Uncle and have that as his sad, dull reality, than have this as his reality.
But he can't forget what has happened, can't push it into some obscure corner of his mind as he has done with so much else. Instead, he wipes away his tears as soon as they hit his cheeks, and he waits, waits for someone to give him any information about what will happen.
A sharp knock at the door makes him wipe his eyes one more time, just for good measure, before mumbling a come in.
Azula enters, and he holds back a sigh; out of all the people he could handle seeing right now, she is the last. His sister takes a few strides towards him, her posture perfect and her steps even as always, eyeing his reddened eyes and tear stained face for a moment; she lets out a small laugh.
"Have you been crying?" She asks, a cruel sort of humour lacing her voice.
He replies with an immediate no, fists clenching at his sides in denial.
"And mom always said I lie too much." Azula laughs; his fists clench tighter, and her eyes flicker to how his fingernails dig into his palms. "Calm down, dum-dum, you've always been a terrible liar. Anyone with a brain could tell you've been crying, eyes are bloodshot and you still have tears on your chin; at least have the decency to wipe them off if you're going to cry like a baby."
He scowls, but wipes his chin. "Don't tell me to calm down when you're the one who got me into this." He says, eyes suddenly alight and anger building in his voice. "You're the one who killed the Avatar, not me - you only convinced me to come back with you so you could blame me in case you messed it up! I can't believe I was stupid enough to trust you!"
"Well done Zuzu - you worked out my plan. Too bad you didn't work it out before dad banished you again. What exactly did he say? That you're no son of his?" She speaks with a sick sort of humour lacing her tone, and when her words cause him to lunge at her, she only smirks and blocks him effortlessly. "I'm only having a bit of fun, Zuzu. You're right about one thing, though - you are stupid, which is exactly why I can't begin to fathom why father trusted you to capture he next Avatar."
There is a bitter tone to her voice that always appears when she doesn't get her way. He only shakes his head, a humourless laugh leaving his lips. "He doesn't trust me with anything. He just wants me gone."
"I know that, dum-dum. He just should have given you a less important task; that way, when you mess it up, the effects won't be so detrimental." She says, eyes following the way his jaw clenches ever so slightly, hands brushing his arms, almost in an attempt to comfort himself. "Oh, don't go feeling all sorry for yourself - you brought this on yourself. Dad isn't going to love you and want you around if you haven't earned it. Think about it, Zuzu; what have you ever done to make him proud to have you as a son? Because I certainly can't think of anything. If dad just went around loving everyone, he wouldn't be able to run the palace, much less the country; he loves people who deserve it. You don't."
He is silent, any words of protest caught in his throat. He wants to argue, wants to tell her she's wrong and she doesn't know what she's talking about and he does deserve his father's love, but he can't. Because she is simply saying what he had told himself so many times after his banishment; that if he captured the avatar, if he did what his father told him to, then he would love him, accept him. He can tell that Azula believes what she is saying, that it isn't just cruel words that she is using to hurt him; and as much as he wants to argue, he believes it too.
At some point, Azula seems to realise that he isn't going to reply. "Your boat leaves tomorrow, so don't get used to all of this," she gestures to the luxurious room. "You're going with the water peasant and a small crew. Pack your things, if you even have anything worth packing."
And with that, she walks out, posture still perfect and steps still even.
ー
She has not even been in her cell for a full day, and she already has decided she prefers the ship. Of course, the ship was awful - her hands and ankles bound and bleeding, the constant fear of one of the crew doing something to her as she slept, the feeling of being so hopeless, surrounded by water yet unable to do anything. But it was better than here; on the ship, she was given two meals a day, three if she was lucky, and she had people surrounding her; while they were still grimy Fire Nation men with an unhealthy liking for alcohol, listening in on their conversations offered some form of entertainment. Here, her only meal has been a few small pieces of cold, unpleasant smelling chicken that tasted far past their prime, and she is utterly alone in her cell. Of course, she has heard a few words from other prisoners, but it is mostly nonsensical mumblings to themselves, or biting replies to guards' insults that have usually resulted in the prisoner getting burned; neither of which make Katara any more happy to be here.
And yet, just as she is about to proclaim herself bored out of her mind, she hears a familiar voice - Zuko's voice - a few cells away.
"Uncle, I... he's banished me, again. Azula told him that I killed the avatar, that I failed to kill him in the avatar state."
Her chest clenches at the mention of Aang, at the word kill used next to his title; she feels tears well in her eyes, but continues listening, desperate to find out who 'he' is.
"He wants me to capture the new avatar, to kill it in the avatar state, but it's just- it's just a baby, Uncle. How can I kill a baby? I know I've done some bad things, but I've never killed. I- I need your advice, I need something."
There is silence, after Zuko finishes speaking. She finds herself slightly surprised that Zuko has never killed anyone, and she wonders why they would even think a baby could enter the avatar state, but the plan he speaks of distracts her from any other thoughts. The mere idea makes her sick to her stomach, makes her want to march up to whoever he is and tell him to never go anywhere near human civilisation if he thinks killing an innocent child is is acceptable.
"Please, Uncle."
Silence still follows. The way the Prince's voice breaks, ragged and pleading, as if he is on the verge of tears, makes a minuscule part of Katara feel sympathy for him - she pushes that part straight to the back of her mind, though. He does sound genuinely hurt and confused and lost, but he sounded exactly like that before, in the Crystal Catacombs, and he didn't hesitate to turn his back on her the second he earned her trust.
Why is he talking to his Uncle anyway? He obviously doesn't want him around, considering how quickly he betrayed him at Ba Sing Se. He should be complaining to Azula, since he trusts her so much.
"Fine, don't talk to me! I just came to say goodbye!" He shouts, voice suddenly fiery, echoing throughout the cells. "I probably won't ever see you again, since I'll mess this up just like I do with everything else!"
With that, he storms out, footsteps loud and heavy. And as he leaves the prison building, so does any speck of sympathy she had for him. This is the real Zuko, she reminds herself, angry and uncaring and volatile. She slumps against the cold, damp wall of her cell, wondering how he could be so awful to his own family.
ー
It's not long before more footsteps echo through the building, and fear shoots through her as she hears them stop outside her cell. She backs further against the wall, terror clouding her mind of what they might do to her; will they interrogate her? Torture her? Burn her until she sees red and can't help but give them the information they want?
Her cell is unlocked and Azula walks straight to her, golden eyes illuminated by the flame in her hand. She is surrounded by two guards, one male and one female, both with scowls etched into their faces.
The princess observes her for a moment, lingering on her ripped dress and bloodied ankles. "You should thank your lucky stars, peasant; you won't be a prisoner here for much longer. You're going to be helping our dear Zuko navigate his way around the water tribes, and find the next avatar."
She isn't sure whether to be terrified or relieved, isn't sure if this is better or worse than staying in a cell; still, she is sure that the way Azula talks to her makes her blood boil.
"What makes you think I'll help Zuko?" She says, making sure every word is clear, punctuated.
"Because, peasant," The princess begins, eyes narrowing. "We have your father in captivity. If you try to escape, or take down the ship, or do anything to interfere with this mission, we won't hesitate to kill him."
Katara swallows a gasp, fists clenching at her sides. She has already lost Aang, and she has no idea where Sokka and Toph are; she refuses to lose her father too. Still, she stares at Azula with what she hopes is defiance in her eyes "And how do I know you're not lying?"
She lets out laugh that rings with a cruel sort of humour, leaning closer to Katara, dark hair brushing her cheek. "Do you really want to risk it?"
She grits her teeth and clenches her fists and glares daggers at Azula, but she can't reply, can't say anything to show how defiant and unyielding she is, because she knows that she would never in a million years risk it; she lets the fury in her eyes dull to a different expression, half anger and half defeat.
"That's what I thought." Azula says, the hint of a smirk on her face, and La, if she had access to water, the princess would be frozen in a block of ice right now. Her eyes light back up again at the tone Azula uses, rage searing her veins and brain desperately looking for a way to wipe the smirk off her lips.
"What do you even expect to do with the baby once it's captured? If you kill it, it's just going to be reborn into the earth kingdom-"
"Not if you kill it in the avatar state."
Katara lets out a laugh, satisfaction filling her chest as Azula's eyebrows furrow. "A baby wouldn't be able to go into the avatar state. Did you do any research?"
A look of fury shapes Azula's eyes, a sour expression forming on her face as the flame in her hand grows larger. "Watch your mouth, peasant; I can just as easily find another water peasant to help Zuko. And let me inform you," She pauses, waving the flame dangerously close to Katara's cheek. "We hadn't planned to make your time here enjoyable." She spits out each word as if they are poison, glancing at the guards beside her, "Leave. She doesn't deserve my time."
She walks out, shoes clicking on the cold prison floor and guards trailing behind her. The sound of the key turning of her cell fills Katara's ears, and silent follows; she lays her head on the damp, gritty ground, and tries to fall asleep.
ー
So uhhhh its been 2 years but I'm back with an update ? IM SORRY GUYS I left the avatar fandom for a while I doubt anyone's gonna read this but I am back in the avatar/zutara fandom nd I am ready to WRITE. ps this chapter is 3k words WHEW that's a lot for me
I wrote the first 5 chaps if this when I was 13 so sorry if they're bad.. hopefully my writings improved. I'm really trying to work on my plot writing and I realised this story could have a really interesting plot so yeah I'm writing it again. I'm also writing mostly on my phone right now because I'm travelling, so it may look slightly different than the previous chaps.
I know it may seem like hasty patching up of a plot hole but I actually did plan on azula/ozai/zuko not knowing that a baby can't go into the avatar state. I figured the fire nation wouldn't really know much about avatar stuff since fire nation education is focused on making the fire nation look good/ propaganda nd all, and even the fire sages aren't loyal to the avatar because of the war
Anyway sorry for the long author's note and even longer wait for this chapter ! Thank u all for reading I hope you enjoyed this chapter, reviews are always appreciated! Let's hope for a quicker update for the next chapter lol