Zuko hopes today's healing session will be more peaceful than yesterday's. As much as the pair eventually fell into a timid enough silence, the unsavoury mix of anger and guilt that her words had caused in him remained far after she stopped speaking - if he were to be honest, they did not rest until he went to sleep that night. He hated having to choose the words that were the most likely to put an end to their bickering as Zui urged him to do, instead of reacting however he wanted to; but even more so, he hates that the shame and remorse behind his actions, though chosen over anger or denial, did not feel fake in the slightest.

Ikuro brings him peppermint tea with a warm smile on his face, and asks how he is doing. Zuko stands up to get his tea and immediately falls back into bed, his ears ringing and his vision going blurry.

"I'll take that as an answer," The older man says, handing him a cup instead. "Did Katara's healing not help at all?"

"I can't really tell - I guess that means it didn't."

"Not necessarily. It's only been one day - give it a few more tries before you make your mind up."

A few more tries - that means a few more hours of Katara yelling at him. He wonders if it would be easier for him to simply walk around with a concussion for the next week.

"I hope you get better soon, though." Ikuro continues. "I doubt living as a refugee in Ba Sing Se has given you much time to practise firebending, and you'll need to be good in case anything goes wrong during this mission."

Zuko raises an eyebrow. "How do you know I was living in Ba Sing Se as a refugee? I know the Fire Nation knew I was on the run in the Earth Kingdom, but…"

"The Fire Nation has eyes everywhere - even in the safest city in the world." Ikuro says, watching as Zuko frowns and immediately looks away. "I dislike it as much as you do, but it's the truth."

"Why would you dislike it? You're nobility."

Ikuro chuckles, much to Zuko's annoyance. "And what makes you think that?"

"Well, your accent sounds exactly like everyone's I used to hear at the palace. And you must be high enough up to find out what I was doing as an enemy to the Fire Nation - unless that was made public knowledge."

"You're half right. I used to be nobility - I was born and raised in a noble family, and my whole life was set out for me. But as I got older, I began to realise that the system I was supposed to be a part of wasn't what I thought it was. I began to see the cruelty and corruption and hunger for power that it had grown dependant on for the last century, and how they tried to teach it to us as charity and natural order. It took me far too long, but one day, I realised that I couldn't just stand by and watch my country destroy everything around it until it finally destroyed itself as well. I left my position behind and began speaking out against the Fire Nation and Firelord Ozai in any way I could. I was soon arrested, but in prison, I joined a gang," He gestured to the dark tattoos on his hands, swirling in patterns that Zuko couldn't quite make out. "Word of things gets around surprisingly quick in prisons - that's how I knew you were in Ba Sing Se. But anyway, most of the gang members already held a grudge against the Firelord, no matter what their crime was, and I helped to educate them and them turn those grudges into words and actions that could help to change things. That's what I was doing, up until I got put on this mission."

Zuko frowns. "Why are you telling me all of this? I'm the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, and you've just decided to tell me about all of your crimes opposing our country."

"You're banished, Zuko. And I think if you were to be honest with yourself, you would see that our feelings towards our nation aren't as dissimilar as you want them to be."

With that, Ikuro leaves, not allowing Zuko the time to formulate a reply. His tea has gone cold in his hand, and though he reheats it with his firebending, it seems to have lost any sweetness it once had.

.

Zuko spends the next hour raging to himself over Ikuro's words. The man barely knows anything about him, yet somehow he thinks he can walk in, pretend to care about him by handing him some poorly made tea, and act like he understands him better than Zuko understands himself. He wishes he could yell at him, or storm up to the deck of the ship and firebend until he stopped feeling like he was going to burst into flames, or even simply leave his bed and throw Ikuro's teapot against the wall. However, he is stuck here until his concussion heals, and his situation only worsens when Katara walks into his room.

The expression on her face makes it clear that she is looking forward to this just as much as she is - that is, not at all - but the way she slams down the bowl of water she's carrying so that it makes a loud thud against his table seems unnecessary.

"What was that for?" He asks, crossing his arms and trying to ignore how his sudden movement makes his head go slightly fuzzy.

She crosses her arms and, upon noticing that his are also crossed, places them firmly on her hips instead. "Ikuro told me that my healing wasn't helping so far, and that I'll need to continue trying for at least the next few days."

"It's not as if I'm happy with that either."

"Well, you're not the one being forced to do this to prevent the Fire Nation from killing your father."

He goes quiet for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows - he knows that she was blackmailed into joining the mission, but he hadn't realised that the blackmail extended this far. "The crew told you they'd get your father killed if you didn't heal my concussion?"

"It was implied."

Yesterday, he may have apologised, or talked to the crew about it, or at least responded with guilty silence. Today, though, he reminds himself that he wasn't even awake when this blackmail occurred, and as the seconds stretch on and Katara probably decides that guilty silence is his chosen reaction, he speaks.

"You could have at least knocked when you came in."

The look on Katara's face would be comical, if her anger wasn't directed at him. Granted, he knows that it was an unimpressive, and probably unwise, reply, but he isn't in the mood for her to simply yell at him for the next hour while he sits and agrees with her about how terrible of a person he is.

"What happened to being civil?" She demands, her tone sharp and mocking.

"Well, you haven't been civil to me."

"I don't need to be civil to you."

The reply that he doesn't need to be civil either almost falls from his lips, but even in his state of anger, he can see that it would simply be an invitation for her to list every mistake he has made since they first met; as much as he isn't in the mood to admit it, it is a long list.

Though still clearly angry, she seems slightly satisfied with his lack of response and sits down next to him, making no attempt to do so gently. Yet, just as she bends water towards his forehead, she stops abruptly, returning the water to its bowl.

"Y'know, I really can't see how you've gotten it through your head that I should be civil to you, when you've chased me and my friends all around the world and tormented us tirelessly, especially when all we were trying to do was bring peace to a world that your family destroyed. And even more than that, I can't understand how you can look me right in the eye and tell me that I am somehow obligated to be civil to the person who… who killed Aang! Who killed my best friend, and the only thing that gave people hope after a century of war and death and suffering brought about by your ancestors."

"I didn't kill Aang-"

"Don't you dare say his name - and you might as well have."

"Well I didn't kill him! And if Azula hasn't lied and blamed me for what happened in Ba Sing Se, you'd be here with her right now, who did kill him and who I can guarantee would be making your time here a hell of a lot worse."

"At least Azula never pretended to be a good person."

"Azula isn't a good person."

She lets out a harsh laugh, her eyes sharpened with a cold sort of humour. "What, and you are?"

He pauses, scrambling to find a suitable reply and finding nothing. His first reaction is that yes, of course he is, and yet, how can he say that with a straight face after hearing Katara yell at him with such hurt in her voice in the Crystal Catacombs, seeing his Uncle turn away from him with that potent mix of disappointment and pain in his eyes, watching as the avatar's small body lay burnt and broken on the ground at the hands of his sister and not leaving her side? He blinks and finds Katara staring at him expectantly, her eyes icy, unsympathetic.

"I- I don't know," He says, unable to choke out anything else.

"I'll help you figure it out - you're not."

He feels himself flinch slightly at her words and prays to Agni that she did not notice. With no reply from him, she eventually begins to heal him, the following hour spent in tense silence.

For years, he has told himself that doing what is good and doing what is right are not always the same, for doing what he knows is right sometimes makes him feel slightly ill, as if his skin has suddenly become too tight for his body. He has always consoled himself by insisting that he is doing what he needs to do, what he is destined to do, whether it is good or not. Yet, he knows that if he really believed that, he would not have felt so adamant that he is, despite everything, a good person, and would not have felt so sickened at her claim that he is not.

And so, after all these years, he finds that he is still fixated on being a good person. He isn't sure whether to be proud or disappointed.

—

She isn't sure whether she prefers the silence to arguing with Zuko. The latter makes her angry and admittedly exhausted, but the uncomfortable quiet that settles in the air leaves her wondering if she spoke too harshly; if in her determination to prove that he is a bad person, she has become less good.

She pushes the thought away - if she has become less good, it is only towards him, and he deserves it. She finds that her consolation does nothing to stop the sick feeling in her stomach.

Looking down, though, she finds that Zuko has fallen asleep, his head slumped against the wall behind his bed. She furrows her eyebrows - she knows that concussions make people tired, but to let himself fall asleep so near to a person who clearly dislikes him is unbelievably stupid. She wonders if that means he doesn't see her as a threat, and feels herself becoming annoyed, but she stops herself. He knows how much she can hurt him with healing alone, and she doubts he can even stand up without feeling like he is going to vomit; all things considered, he was probably just tired.

Not that she would hurt him in his sleep anyway - she may feel vengeful at times, but she is not sadistic. Just as she stands up to leave, though, she remembers hearing something years ago about how sleeping with a concussion can sometimes cause a person to enter a coma. She reminds herself that he slept yesterday and was fine, but the fear in her stomach remains; if he does go into a coma right after a healing session with her, it will look suspicious - possibly suspicious enough for her to be accused of interfering with the mission, and for her father to be killed.

She sighs and sits back down, hoping that she will not need to stay for long.

.

After an hour, having seen him move in his sleep a few times, she is convinced that he is completely fine and she has nothing to worry about, and decides she should leave now, especially as she doesn't want to still be here when he wakes up. However, he suddenly stirs, his fists clenching around his bedsheets and a weak cry escaping his lips.

She freezes. She has had enough nightmares to know that he is having one right now, and even more so, she knows that to stay here would be a severe invasion of privacy, but she cannot help herself. She promised herself on her first day on this ship that she would find out how Zuko was banished, and this could be her chance to fulfil that promise; at the very least, she might be able to discover something to blackmail him with, which could allow her to escape.

He writhes violently under his sheets and cries out again, louder this time, beginning to mumble something incomprehensible into his pillow. She feels the urge to close her eyes or cover her ears, the scene before her far too intimate, vulnerable. It feels like resting a knife against someone's throat; she feels sick.

And then, suddenly, he begins to speak louder, his words just clear enough for her to make them out.

"Please, father… I am your loyal son…"

His voice is slightly higher than she's used too and it breaks on the word son, tears suddenly rolling down his cheeks. He reaches up abruptly and for a moment, she thinks it is to wipe his face; however, his hand stays there, and her stomach drops as she realises that his fingers are pressed against his scar.

"Please… I won't fight you… please… please..."

He continues to repeat the last word, his voice growing more and more desperate, his movements becoming frenzied. His hand soon returns to his bedsheets, but she has seen enough to know what he is dreaming of. In the Crystal Catacombs, he called his scar the mark of the banished prince; when the ship's crew argued over how Zuko was banished, one claim was that the Firelord had challenged him to a duel; and now he is writhing in his sleep, pleading his father not to fight him and cradling his scar with a shaky hand.

Zuko's father not only banished him, but gave him his scar. Katara thinks she might vomit.

—

AN: told u guys I would be updating quicker omg cant believe I wrote this in a day! Zuko and Katara are kinda both being awful at this point in the story (tho both have their reasons) and I love it lol. I hope the bit abt doing what's right vs what's good made sense because i think that Zuko's always had a v strong moral compass so being punished so harshly as a kid for doing what he saw as good would rly mess up his sense of right and wrong? so even if his moral compass tells him smth is wrong, he pushes that away by telling himself that it's the right/correct thing to do

also its technically now xmas where I live so merry xmas and happy holidays to all of u lovely people who read this and put up with my usually embarrassingly slow updates! I guess this chap is my xmas present to all of you... hope you liked it!