TOBIAS POV
We can't keep our hands off each other.
It's quite comical, really. We could only get off the street with the promise of finding someplace more private to catch up. So now, as we search for a place to spend the night in the factionless sector—since we agreed it wasn't wise to head anywhere this late with guards ready to fire on moving figures—Tris clings to my arm vigorously. I can't tell if it is because she is hellbent on keeping me there or if she is falling asleep and needs support.
Eventually we find a rather empty building in the maze of garbage and sleeping people. What was once a sleek, tiled building is now grungy and chipped away. It seems to have been inhabited at some point recently, but it is abandoned and farther away from people than I had hoped for. So we settle there, and I jam a chair up against the door while Tris sets her bag in the corner next to the mattress.
And then we just stand there.
"Hi," she says again with a lip bite.
I smile widely because I can't help it. "Come here," I beckon her, opening my arms.
Once she is folded into my embrace, it feels like I can breathe again. I press my cheek to the top of her head and notice that she smells fresh like nature.
"Did you go to Amity?" I ask. "I can't imagine you spent all this time here."
She laughs softly. "Yes. It was very...constricting."
"I bet it was." After all, Tris has never been the nicest person I know, nor the most agreeable. But since she hasn't been caught by anyone, it seems like she didn't have another incident that required peace serum.
We release each other to drink our appearances in. I still can't believe she is here right now, though I don't know how my mind could be creative enough to come up with her bashed-in nose in a dream. Other than that alarming injury, she looks good. Really good. Slightly tan and worn, but my girl nonetheless.
"So, what happened to your face?" I skim my fingertips over the purple blotches on her nose and cheekbone delicately. When she flinches, I frown and remove them.
"That's...something we have to talk about," she states. "It's one of the reasons I left."
I nod. "Let's sit down first though. You look beat."
We both move toward the mattress and take off our shoes, ditching the idea of just sitting completely. The mattress isn't too comfortable but it doesn't creak much, so I lie down without complaint and ball up my jacket as a makeshift pillow. Naturally we end up on our designated sides of the rather pathetic bed. I smirk to myself when I notice.
"What?" she asks, shifting closer to get more comfortable.
"Nothing. It's just been a while," I point out. A long while, in which we believed we would never be together again. Yet we managed to defy all odds, not only in staying safe long enough but to end up in the same street of the city at the same time; I think fate deserves more of the credit for that though.
She hums in agreement. "Yeah, well, I would love to catch up. But like I said, there are other important matters in this city."
"The city seems to have a habit of getting in the way of our life," I huff teasingly. My fingers comb through her hair of their own accord. It's been so long since I touched her.
"Unfortunately." She pauses before explaining, "I left Amity because I was attacked, hence the bruised face." I assumed so, but that doesn't make it any less infuriating that someone laid their hands on her. It makes my mouth twist, and my hand drops as I morph into my solemn, analytical side. "A factionless guard came after me..."
I frown. "What was a factionless guard doing in Amity?" How did he even get there unseen?
"I found out why, and that's why I got chased." It seems like there is something she is holding back when she discusses her encounter vaguely, and I notice how she makes nervous movements with her hands, but I let it slide for now. If it was pressing, she would mention it.
She continues, "He and Edward were there under Evelyn's orders." I stiffen at the reminder of my mother before I remember that all emotions need to be set aside for a moment. "They were supposed to finalize an agreement between the Amity and the factionless, but apparently it wasn't what Johanna had in mind. She put her foot down, but it wasn't enough because they put a gun to her head and forced her to set the alliance into stone."
"What was the agreement?" I ask. Why would the factionless so badly want to forge an understanding with the Amity? Why are they useful...
I realize the answer right as she says it out loud. "Basically, the factionless gain the food shipments that the other factions lose."
"They're going to starve us," I state simply. My eyebrows tighten at the shattering prospect. It is a dirty tactic that could ultimately help them win a war and take control rapidly by eliminating a basic human need. And not only does it directly affect the people who fight back, but it also affects their families. Women, children, and the elderly will all be subject to it.
This further justifies my cutting of ties with my mother. As soon as I think she can't disappoint me any more, she digs a deeper hole for herself.
"We have to warn them. Get Dauntless involved," Tris says with an insistent gaze. "That's the only way we can stop this is if the military quells it early."
"Yeah." When I realize how difficult it is going to be to try to warn Hunter and the other leaders of a threat they can't see, I add, "I don't know how, but we'll figure it out."
She sighs and presses her forehead into my shoulder, seemingly agitated and wanting to dismiss the topic. "How did you end up here?" she mumbles.
"I came to end my relationship with my mother."
I almost expect her to break out into a happy dance, but she doesn't. With raised eyebrows, she inquires, "How did that come on? Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not her number one fan, but this seems sudden."
I clench my jaw. Several times she has warned me to not trust my mother, and I should have listened. Back then I was too blinded and opposed to anything she said that I failed to heed her advice. I was still desperately clinging to family when it felt like I had nobody, and my manipulative mother was the only place I could turn to. Silently chastising myself, I explain, "She passed along another recruitment note to me. Knowing everything I know now, I was livid that she would even crave my attention."
Tris tilts her head up at me, confused. "What do you mean? Did she do something? Besides the obvious..."
It dawns on me that she never found out the truth about the suicides. Until now, I have kept this information private, so I am eager to pass it along to someone else to lessen the load.
"I found out that the Erudite were producing the serum for the factionless to use," I say.
"I guessed it was something along those lines," she scoffs. "Why? What do they have to gain out of making innocent people kill themselves? I know they're locked on revenge on the faction system, but I don't see why the majority of them get a kick out of being cruel."
"Chaos," I guess. "Taking out more of their enemies in a sly way? I don't know. I'm just as lost as you."
Because it is difficult to understand why people who have been underprivileged would want to inflict a sick type of pain on people who weren't involved in their societal restraints. After knowing what it is like to suffer, they should find it in themselves to work peacefully with our leaders rather than cause an upset that will put others in worse positions.
"Anyway, yes, that was somewhat predictable, but the shocking part is that the Abnegation approved the production of the serum since they oversee it now."
She doesn't look too surprised but does shake her head in disgust. "I can't imagine Marcus had something to do with that?"
I hadn't thought of that before. I doubt she is wrong to guess that though.
"Wouldn't be the first time he hurt people for his own benefit," I joke, though it isn't actually funny. "But I don't know what any of them were offered or blackmailed with. We would have to find out."
After a pause, I remember what we were discussing a minute ago. "Anyway, the fact that the factionless were using the suicide serum is the main reason I came here. Because that means they also covered up for themselves. It means my mother ordered people to cover it up by any means possible."
Tris catches my meaning right away, that my mother tried to have her murdered to stop her from discovering the truth.
"Tobias..." she says softly, guiltily.
"And it's pretty sad to think that leaving me alive was her twisted way of showing me she cares about me," I laugh without humor.
She doesn't seem to have a response. I feel her fist tighten around the fabric of my shirt, and it reminds me that she is longing for me just as much. With all of the dire topics out of the way, we need to drop it all for once. We need to take a moment for ourselves.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I sigh, rolling onto my side to face her more properly.
Her crystal eyes meet mine before darting away shyly. And I hate that time apart can do this to us, somehow make us strangers even though we have been dreaming about nothing but this moment for months. I don't want to tiptoe around her, yet I don't even feel like we are settled enough for me to kiss her right now.
"What's our plan?" she mumbles into my shoulder. "Where are we going to go?"
The question slams the facts back in my face: she is a fugitive. Anywhere isn't safe. My first instinct is to take her home to Dauntless, but I should realistically be taking her outside the fence.
"I don't know," I reply truthfully. "But I don't want to split up again. Never."
She hides her face from me, and it clues me in that she is tearful. It irritates me that she would be ashamed of her crying.
"Tris." I nudge her so that she is forced to look at me. Her eyes are wet. "Tris, talk to me."
A hysterical laugh bursts its way out of her chest. I wish it could be a real one. "I just...I was so miserable in Amity. I'm so tired of hiding and pretending to be someone I'm not," she chokes out. "I don't—I'm so exhausted..."
The broken expression makes me a slave to her will. I will do anything she asks of me, anything to ease the pain of this beautiful girl who is overwhelmed with emotion and whose face is halfway swollen.
"Tobias, I want to go home," she whispers. "Take me home."
Dangerous, my mind hisses at me. This is like running straight into the enemy's arms.
But I can't deny her this. If we can possibly work something out with the Dauntless leaders, then I will take that chance for her. She has had to endure months in another faction with nobody to commiserate with—unfortunately, she took the hit I would have taken if I was the one who was caught in Erudite. She wants to go home, if only for a little while.
"We can do that," I promise.
The relief is evident in the way her body sags into the solid mattress. I press my lips to her forehead and revel in the simplicity of us lying together.
Although, it won't be the same until we are home. We may be pressed up against each other, but I can feel the wide distance splitting between her chest and mine. Something isn't right yet, and maybe it is as trivial as we haven't said we loved each other, or we don't have enough passion right this minute.
I don't worry about it. We are both drained, and we are treading into unfamiliar territory in regards to the last few months, but we will work things out.
I bury my face in her hair as I drift off.
For now, we have each other back. That is all.
A clash is what makes me bolt up in bed. A blonde head keeps my prickling arm pinned down. My body relaxes from its alert state when I hear laughter coming from outside and realize that I am in the factionless sector.
With extra caution, I slide my arm out from under Tris's head. She worries her lip in her sleep, and I am afraid that I have woken her until she curls up tighter and stills.
Rubbing my eyes, I decide to go hunt down some breakfast. It is safer if Tris doesn't show her face, so I should hurry and find something for the both of us before she wakes up. Before I leave, I pull on my jacket that still bears the white armband and press a kiss to her temple.
Fall has a certain lighting in the morning, a soft blue that can never be appreciated at another time of the year. It is darker than summer and unique to itself, accompanied by a crisp breeze. It makes me pull my jacket tighter around me to keep out the chill.
There is a fire up ahead. Presumably, the factionless are warming up and cooking breakfast there. I decide it is the best place to look.
I am surprised by the lack of people gathered around the fire; only three are awake to eat. In a place where food is scarce, it would be logical to wake up first to steal whatever was available before anyone else did.
"Tobias, right?" a brunette girl calls out to me from the other side of the fire.
I stop in my tracks and cringe at the name coming from the stranger's mouth. "I prefer Four," I deadpan.
"Ah," she says. "I'm Cassie."
Now it dawns on me that I recognize her face vaguely from last night. She is the girl who broke up the fight between Sean and I.
"Good to meet you," I say shortly, not keen on introductions. "Do you think I could get something to eat?"
"Of course, come sit with us." She gestures to the empty spots around the fire.
I shift uncomfortably at the invitation. "I don't...I was just hoping to grab something before my girlfriend woke up."
Cassie waves me off. "It's fine, she can join us too. I'm sure she'll know where to find you. There aren't many fires started this early."
My growling stomach wins over. I lower myself to the concrete with my leg aching from the strain after disuse in the night. Someone passes me a can filled with scrambled eggs, and I thank them.
"So, Four," Cassie starts. "What brings you here?"
I laugh bitterly. "Family issues," I answer, unwilling to delve further.
"Families can be tough." She nods along as she chews. There is a scar on her cheek that I haven't noticed until now. I wonder if that has something to do with her words.
"Tell me about it."
The other two people yawn and lounge and don't offer conversation. I feel oddly pressured to talk, so I do.
"So what's your story?" I ask.
She raises her eyebrows. "Mine?"
"Yeah. You seem to know mine, as everyone does. It's only fair."
Plus, I am somewhat curious. Why did this girl stand up for me last night? What motives does she have?
"Well...I was born Erudite. My dad died when I was little, and my mother and I never got along. I had no reason to stay, so I transferred to Candor three years ago, but I didn't pass initiation. Said I had too much to hide and I was unwilling to share it." She smiles to herself, as if being kicked out on the street is a fond memory. "Your mother took me in," she states.
I clench my jaw at the attempt to find common ground. I thought when I snapped our relationship in half last night that my mother would be gone from my life for good. Yet she is still managing to pull me back under her influence without trying.
"Good for her," I grumble into my food.
"She's not all bad," Cassie says. Like I need her to tell me. "She just..."
Footsteps reach my ears from the alley. I turn and see Tris wandering down towards me. Her messy hair and squinted eyes make my lips twitch up at the corners.
"Hey," I say softly. She folds her legs under her and leans her head against my shoulder, unwilling to talk this early in the morning. I nudge her hands with the can, and they fold around it.
"Anyway, what I mean is that she does go too far sometimes, but her heart is in the right place," Cassie continues with her thoughts gathered. "Her years of homelessness have made her vengeful, and she is taking it out on the faction system. Rightfully so, though she isn't willing to negotiate or change things peacefully."
"I can agree with that," I reply. "I can even agree that the faction system isn't working well anymore. But her methods just aren't going to work."
Because if she wants change, I don't think killing innocent people off is going to make anyone sympathize with the factionless. And since Cassie is close enough to her, she must know about the suicide serum.
"We're just willing to go along with it as long as things change," Cassie explains tiredly. "We just want a society where people have free will. We want a place where Divergents are safe and not judged."
I watch the flames flicker in front of me and ponder the idea. I can picture it: people dressed in several colors intermingling in the city, less crime, nobody starving on the streets, Tris and I living in a house wherever we wanted. When I look to see her reaction, she seems indifferent, just mulling it over while she chews.
"It would be a big change. It would be freeing, but people would have to get used to it. It would be a slow process," I speak out loud.
Cassie smiles with a shake of her head. "You know, I could see it."
I cock my head to the side. "See what?"
"You as a leader in the future. I've heard all about you leading Dauntless. I bet you would be a great leader one day in a free society, because you understand. You have the perspective of a Divergent. You know what's right and wrong, you know how to lead people with different backgrounds toward a common goal—you led the factionless and Dauntless in the Erudite attack."
I'm flattered by the idea because I can see it too. I have dreamt of a city without factions where people are not restrained, and I would help build it if I could. Leadership is not something I yearn for, but if that position was offered to me in the future, I would gladly accept it.
I could do something good. I could have the power to bring people together and make this city whole. My heart swells with excitement at the prospect.
"We could use someone like you, you know."
The factionless are going about this the wrong way though. If I did this, it would have to be done my way. Evelyn would never see it through my eyes. "Thanks for the offer," I answer, "but it's not for me right now."
Also, I have the sleepy girl on my shoulder to consider. I have Dauntless. I want to go home, spend time with my friends that I consider family, and leave the mess for someone else. Just as there is a part of me that would like to instigate a bloodless revolution, there is another part of me that would rather stay holed up at home.
"Think about it." Cassie winks as she rises. "The door is always open."
With that, she walks away, taking a bag of food along with her. And I am left to think about the things she said and wonder about her because of her mysterious aura. She seems...interesting, to say the least.
Tris clears her throat and sits straight next to me before scrubbing at her eyes.
"How is your nose?" I ask. It still looks angry this morning, but the swelling has simmered down.
"Fine, I think." She stands with my hand in hers, and I follow suit.
"Did you get enough to eat?" It didn't look like she had much for breakfast. I didn't either, but I don't care about my well-being.
"Can we go home?" she counters. "I'll just have something more there."
I nod in relief. "Yeah, let's just go back and make sure we got everything," I suggest, leading her to the room where we spent the night.
As we walk, she seems to be holding something back. At first I assumed she was simply tired, but now I am beginning to think her silence has something to do with the conversation I was having with Cassie. Her pursed lips clue me in.
"Is something wrong?" I question when I shut the door behind us.
Tris tenses and crosses her arms, preparing for impact. "Please tell me you weren't buying her little act," she says bluntly.
"Who, Cassie?"
"Oh, is that her name now?" She scoffs in disgust, and I realize her motive. As cute as her jealousy is, it is the crack of dawn, and I am not in the mood for this interrogation when I just got her back.
I sigh. "Tris..."
She shakes her head. "She was playing you with the leadership talk. She—"
"Wait, wait, wait. Hold up." I narrow my eyes at her. "You don't think I would be fit for that? Is that what you're saying?" Is her opinion of me seriously that low? What happened in between last night and this morning that is making her so hostile towards me?
"Of course not," she says, more calm now. "But she was manipulating you, and I want you to see that."
"I'm not running off to lead the factionless, Tris," I assure her, exhaustion in my voice. "I'm just entertaining the idea. In an ideal situation, I would want to help out the city. I would want a society without divisions. That's all I'm saying."
She doesn't seem too satisfied though. "That's all great and I support you fully on that, but I'm sorry to tell you that she was only saying that to cater to your ego to get through to you," she states without hesitation. "It was like Evelyn was talking right through her to recruit you."
I scowl at her. I didn't want to start a fight, but now it looks like I have to finish one. "Or your irrational jealousy is causing you to completely overanalyze the conversation. She can't pay me a compliment and I can't entertain ideas without you flipping out?" I demand. "I don't know what's going on with you, but you need to rethink what you're saying."
With obvious irritation, she unfolds her arms and balls her hands into fists. "I am not some petty, jealous girl," she growls. "You can dismiss it all you want, but I saw right through her. When you realize that she was manipulating you, I'll be waiting."
I watch her storm off out of the room, and I don't move to stop her. We both need some time to cool down. It disappoints me that we can so easily butt heads when we were barely reunited last night, but Tris is stubborn, and I know what I signed up for.
So instead of holding onto the anger, I reach into her backpack, take out the other gun that I stashed in it, and scan the room one last time before I leave. Getting home should be our priority right now. Everything else can be sorted out later, and I'm sure she will come around.
TRIS POV
I wander.
Through the maze of alleyways and among the piles of rotten garbage. I plug my nose and kick a stray aluminum can out of my path, when I really should just turn back and make up with him.
Tobias was partially right; maybe I don't like Cassie or the way she was stroking my boyfriend's ego both when I wasn't there and right in front of me. But that isn't clouding my judgement in this matter. She practically took lines straight from Evelyn's mouth, and I could see Tobias believing in it.
I should have been less biased about it though. I should march right back and apologize and prepare to leave.
What I really need though is to take a few breaths. I dread fighting with him. It makes me feel unsteady and cramped. So I decide to take a couple more minutes to let my frustration dissipate before I go search for him.
Leaning against the crumbling, brick wall behind me, I freeze when voices find their way to my ears, sinking down behind a dumpster so that the people approaching won't see me.
I recognize one of the gruff tones immediately.
"...prepared for the Dauntless attack?" Evelyn asks quietly.
"Yes," a male replies. "They are assembling as we speak."
"How long did the Erudite give? I'm not sending them into this armed with a few guns. If the weapons aren't ready—"
He assures her, "Everything is taken care of. Tomorrow we will be meeting with them for the exchange."
Their voices grow noiseless and unintelligible as they pace past the alley I am situated in. I press my hand to my face in distress, and I can't even find it in me to stand yet. God, how many factionless plots am I going to stumble upon?
I try to make sense of their discussion. All I can come up with is the basic facts: the factionless are planning to attack Dauntless, and the Erudite are arming them with a weapon before they do so. What weapon? Whatever it is, it can't be beneficial for our side, considering Evelyn is ready to rush into battle against the military faction without many guns at all.
Dauntless has to know about this.
Feeling pressured for time, I rush through alleys, backtracking to where I spent the night. Tobias isn't there, so I head straight down the longest, narrow street until I find him, waiting for me out on the cracked sidewalk.
"Tris, I..." When he sees the hasty, concerned expression I am wearing, he clamps his mouth shut on his apology, or whatever he was going to say. "What's wrong?"
"Everything," I say without elaboration. "We need to talk."