A/N: This chapter is really rough, I actually wrote it a long time ago. It's pretty bad, but the chapters after this get better, because I actually have a feel for this story now. So I'm hoping you stick with it.
My name is Kim Spencer. Kim means plain, boring, unoriginal and invisible.
Well not really. You wouldn't find that on the internet or anything. Kim actually means ruler, which makes me laugh. I'm actually the kind of girl that's faded into the background with her head shoved in a book, or the one who you've sat beside every year since the first grade but you still can't remember their name.
The girl who gets straight A's because she has absolutely no social life unlike her popular older brother. Whose only friend would rather spend lunch in the art room, forcing her to eat all alone in the back of an oddly overcrowded cafeteria.
Oh, let's not forget that the love of her life since the second grade doesn't know she exists.
Ah yes, I am an unashamed Jared Talley stalker. I know he has a younger sister named Paige who he raises because his dad is an alcoholic and his mother is a workaholic. His favourite fruit is an apple and he eats it first every day at lunch. He secretly plays the guitar when he thinks no one is around in the empty music room after school, he loves to take long walks in the rain and he sits out on his roof in the evening before dinner. He is definitely not a morning person and you will always find him carrying a pack of spearmint gum. He also looks best in the colour red.
I wasn't kidding. I am a Jared stalker.
"Kim?" Someone called. "Kimberly Spencer!" I glanced up in a daze to my math teacher Mrs. Johnson, who was staring at me.
"What?" I muttered. I still wasn't able to focus on anything but Jared.
His eyes are a really light brown today. "What's the answer to the question I just asked?" She snapped.
Jared is super sexy.
Suddenly, the class erupted into a fit of laughter. I snapped my head and it dawned on me that they were laughing at me.
And that's when I realised. I had just announced that I thought Jared was sexy. Out loud, in front of the whole class, including his best friend and girlfriend. Lord, please help me. I was never going to live this down for the rest of my high school career. My face was hot and tears pricked my eyes as I looked at my desk.
Mrs. Johnson huffed. "May I please see your paper, Miss Spencer?" My face paled as I picked up my sheet. The only things that I had written on it were 'I love Jared' and 'Mrs. Kim Cameron.' I silently handed her the paper as I waited with a thudding heart. I'm surprised no one could hear it.
She narrowed her eyes and crumpled the paper loudly enough to make me cringe. She pointed to my seat and I obeyed silently. "Well Mrs. Cameron," She sneered and my eyes bulged. Was my teacher out to get me too!? "You can day dream all you want after school in detention."
"Okay." I muttered before slamming my head on the desk. My mom's words ran through my head.
Stupid Kim, you're nothing but a failure.
You're a worthless child. Why can't you be more like Jeff?
Pathetic little girl.
Tears splattered my fresh paper as I kept my eyes coasted downwards. I bit my lip to suck in the sobs threatening to be released. I knew everyone was still staring at me.
Oh well, I thought bitterly. Maybe Jared will notice me now.
The bell rang and I ran as fast as I could out the door. Unfortunately, I crashed into someone in my haste and my books flew everywhere as I landed on the floor. For all I knew, that could have been a fucking brick wall. "Perfect, just great." I muttered. My knees were stinging as I gathered all my stray papers.
I may as well of had an aneurysm when I couldn't find my notebook. Until I heard someone cough loudly. I then realised that I was being shadowed.
Not just by anyone either. Jared Cameron was standing in front of me holding out my notebook. The same notebook that had his name and mine surrounded by hearts written all over it. I snatched it and clutched it hard to my chest, close to tears. I officially had three options at this point.
Option one: Get up and run out the exit screaming. Risk everyone laughing at you or falling and making yourself look like a bigger moron than you already are.
Option two: Sit here and look like an idiot until Jared leaves. Risk Jared avoiding me forever and getting trampled on.
Option three, the most rational: SAY SOMETHING IDIOT!
"Uh, t-thanks." I stuttered. Nice move Kim. That was real smooth. He just nodded before getting up and swiftly walking away. I'm sure everyone around me noticed the weird girl on the floor checking out Jared's butt. I stumbled into the bathroom and locked myself into a stall before collapsing on the floor. I started to text my best friend.
After making her promise she wasn't going to leave me at lunch, which she won't because she had seemingly already heard about the incident, I let my traitor tears fall.
I silently prayed that things would get better. My head thumped against the wall repeatedly. This day could not get any worse.
The warning bell buzzed as I got up. I noticed a wrinkled note stuffed at the top of my book that was obviously not mine. I opened it, smoothed it out and narrowed my eyes to read it.
Having an obsession isn't healthy. Oh and could you stop daydreaming about me? My girlfriend doesn't like it.
- Jared.
Ding, ding, ding, ladies and gentlemen! We have a winner. My jaw dropped to the floor. I wanted to absolutely kill myself. I sat back down, curling my knees to my chest and I sobbed hard. I hate my life, I hate myself. I hate Jared.
I quickly backtracked. That was a lie, a huge lie. I was angry at myself because I was stupid. I was nobody and I wasn't good enough for Jared. Everything is always my fault. Someone kill me now.
I eventually sobbed myself to the point of being sick. I felt terrible as my heart pounded almost out of my chest. Maybe I was having a heart attack? Hah, I should be so lucky. I stood shakily, gathering my books before I walked out of the stall slowly to get myself cleaned up.
I looked like the Loch Ness Monster. My eyes were puffy with smeared liner and I smelt of sweat and vomit. I ran a tired hand through my stringy hair and sighed before using my best attempt to fix myself up. After, I tugged down my plain white hoodie and flipped up the hood before walking to my locker. Unfortunately I didn't beat the bell and the hallway was littered with people. They were all staring at me of course, on full silent mode.
I hate everyone.
I threw all my books on the floor of my messy locker and slammed it hard. I closed my eyes and panted hard, wiping my clammy hands on my jeans. People were sniggering as I stalked past them into the strangely silent lunch room. I had everyone's attention.
The freak show of the day has arrived, take a fucking picture. I wanted to shout at them but I didn't have the courage to so I settled for slamming my head on the table in my arms. "What the fuck are you all staring at?!" Summer's voice echoed across the cafeteria. I smiled into my sleeve. I loved my best friend so much. Her chair squeaked beside me. "Brighten up, sunshine."
I looked up and she smiled, ruby red lipstick stretching across her face into a full blown grin that showed off her oddly white teeth, clashing with the colour. Summer Newman was eccentric, perky and loud. She's an artist and she always speaks her mind. Her hair was long and silky, like almost every person on the reservation except for mine. Her eyes were jaded, as she was half Japanese and they were an intense brown colour. She was tall with boobs and curves and she always wore something stylish.
She raked over my appearance and narrowed her eyes. "You were crying."
I frowned at the table and she sighed. "Kimmie-Cup, I love you dearly but you are an idiot. Either tell the boy how you feel or get over him."
"I think he knows how I feel." I muttered, sliding the note over to her.
Her eyes narrowed in slits and she slammed the crumpled paper on to the table. She stood up so fast that the chair fell over with a loud metal thud. "I will murder the little bastard!" She screeched.
I grabbed her arm and tugged hard. "Sit down!" I hissed. She huffed but picked up her chair and sat back down. I silently wished everyone would stop staring as Summer cursed Jared to hell under her breath. We spent the rest of lunch discussing the pros and cons of Jared Cameron.
Then, the bell rang. It was time for history. I swallowed hard. "I'm ditching." And I bolted. But I was never much of a runner anyhow and Summer caught me easily.
She glared hard at me. "I'll carry you over my shoulder if I have to." I gave up and obeyed because she wasn't bluffing. She'd already done it once.
I trudged unhappily silent by her side to the classroom door. "Murder me." She blew me a kiss, gave a rude hand gesture and left. Slowly, I opened the door and froze. The classroom was full. I was late. Damn it!
"Miss Spencer, please join us." The old man teacher, Mr. P called. "You're late, take a seat." I looked straight at the wall as I walked the 'walk of shame' to my desk. And then I tripped. Oh perfect.
Plus, it was over Sierra Miller's foot. She smirked down at me. "Oh I'm so sorry." She mocked. "I didn't see you there. It's like you were invisible or something." Her pointy heel came down with a snap on my finger and I hissed. But I got my stuff gingerly and sat down without a word. I poked the already swelling finger and grimaced.
One, two, three. I counted in my head as Jared gave me the usual once over, turning around just as quick. I forced my attention upfront, fighting off more tears. This was easily the worst day of my life, hands down. Why does Kim Spencer always get the shit end of the stick? Why does life always hate her so much? Why did her dad have to die, and why doesn't her mom love her? I shook my head, squeezing the pencil in my hand so hard that it snapped. "Damn it!" I cried in half a whispered, frustrated. There was a tap on my left shoulder and I automatically shivered and stiffened. My heart lodged into my throat as I turned stiffly, unable to talk.
He was holding out a pencil with the tiniest smile ghosting about his lips. On his perfect, full lips. "Need one of these?" He asked, cool breath blowing in my direction across my face. I inhaled lightly. Ah, spearmint.
"Thanks." I murmured, handling the pencil like a fragile piece of glass. I mentally cheered at myself for not stuttering. This was officially my new favourite pencil which I will never use other than this class. It was my little piece of Jared to go. I nearly snorted at how infomercial that sounded. Like a Philadelphia cream cheese ad. I frowned as he turned back to chat with Paul, not noticing my curious stare. If he was angry with me, he didn't show it.
Of course, he probably already forgot about me. I am Kim Spencer, invisible girl.
History dragged on slowly while I silently undressed Jared out of the corner of my eye. I just wanted to brush back that shaggy hair. That is, if I could reach it. He had gone through a major growth spurt and while I was stuck at 5'2, he walked tall at 6'1. Luckily, the teacher was dumb enough not to notice that I wasn't paying attention to his ever so important lesson, so he says. I didn't need a repeat of math class.
"Okay class, tonight I expect…" Mr. P. droned on and on as I rolled Jared's pencil around in my hand. "Pack up your stuff and I'll see you tomorrow."
I sighed loudly in relief as I slammed everything in my binder. I reluctantly held out the pencil to Jared and he pushed it back, his hand grazing mine. "Keep it." He said lazily. I blinked and opened my mouth to protest but he shook his head. "It's just a pencil."
"Okay." I murmured as the bell rang. He left hand in hand with Sierra, not looking back at me. At least he talked to me today, even touched me! I haven't spoken to him this much since the third grade when the teachers didn't let us pick partners and we got paired up for a project in art class.
Art was the class that I had now. The only class I had with Summer, but Paul was also there. Why he took art was beyond me. He just sits around and throws paint at people's canvases when they aren't looking.
I took my seat beside Summer, clutching my pencil for dear life. "Are you on the watch for the pencil stealer?" She teased, elbowing my ribs.
"It's Jared's." I muttered embarrassed and she groaned.
"Kim, Kim, Kim." She shook her head. I frowned but continued twirling my pencil. The afternoon dragged on and as I was drifting off in Science, the bell rang.
"Oh thank the lord!" I shouted and raced to my locker. "I just want this day to be over."
And then my stinky math teacher ruined the day again.
She walked down the hallway in her tacky loafers, sequined cat sweater and cut off pants, glaring at me. "You have a one hour detention in my room, Kimberly."
I almost fell on my knees crying. I wanted to go home so bad! "Okay." I grumbled, dragging my stuff to the math room. A sophomore whose name I think was Jacob Black, sat in the back corner, grinning stupidly. Two girls who looked like they could beat me up with the flick of a finger and smelled of strong earwax sat front and center. Other than the teacher, the rest of the room was empty. I sat in the corner opposite of Jacob, poking my now bruised and demented looking finger. That's definitely broken.
Only 59 more minutes! I slammed my forehead against my palm and then closed my eyes. I wonder if my mom would notice. She doesn't notice anything, but Jeff might.
Five minutes later, the door opened. "You're late." The teacher chided, sounding very bored.
"Sorry." I froze. I knew that husky voice all too well. I peeked out of one eye and sure enough, Jared was making his way to the empty desk in front of me. I was leaning forward so much that my chair slipped from under my butt and I fell hard onto the floor. Of course, everyone laughed.
Someone help me!
I got a hold of the desk and pushed myself up gingerly. This day was just getting better and better. My finger was throbbing because I had landed on it funny so when I gripped the desk, I hissed in pain and fell back. "Damn!" I moaned. Someone crouched down beside me and I glanced up at Jacob Black with a grim expression.
"Hey, are you alright?" He grasped my hand. "Oh, that looks like it hurts." I bit back my snide comment and nodded. His lips pursed as he moved it around. Everyone else had lost interest in our little scene. "What did you do?"
I looked down, I was a terrible liar. "Uh, someone stepped on it." I muttered. "Accidentally though, um…" Wow, smooth.
He nodded slowly and helped me up into my seat. Then he walked away and I sighed. No one wants to talk to boring Kim. My hands covered my eyes until the chair beside me squeaked on the linoleum. Jacob was smiling at me.
"So you're in my lunch period right?"
"Yeah." I murmured.
"You always sit alone, or with that really loud girl, the artist?" He laughed. "I sit with my best friends. Embry is the tall one who never talks and Quil is the beefy one who talks too much." He sighed and then grinned so widely that I'm surprised his face didn't fall off. "Hey Kim, let's be lunch buddies!"
Something caught my attention. "You know my name?" I was shocked but he shrugged like it was no big deal. Then he stared at me with big puppy dog eyes that made my heart melt. "Fine," I rolled my eyes but smiled. "Lunch buddies." He tugged at his ponytail and smiled at me. The rest of detention was spent chatting randomly with Jacob and trying to ignore the fact that Jared was sitting so close in front of me that I could just reach out and touch him.
The clock struck four. "Dismissed." Mrs. Johnson ordered before leaving. No lecture or anything. I ran out of the class only to find that it was pouring. No surprise.
"I can't wait until I can drive." I whined, flipping up my hood.
"Kim!" Jacob called, running to me. "Where do you live?"
"Around the bend."
"That's on the way to my place, I'll walk you." Just like that, he was following me.
I had a feeling that even if I had protested, he wouldn't have left. Surprisingly, I was okay with that. Jacob was a good kid, even if he was a sophomore and it was nice to actually be noticed for once. Even if it took a good forty five minutes to get to my house, I had a blast.
We had to step in every puddle we saw, we twirled without hoods in the rain and just laughed together. I was drenched and the mud was splashed all up my converse and jeans. Jacob's hair was out of the ponytail and sticking to his face. He told me about his life and his friends and his dad, I told him about Jared and Summer. As I waved to him from my porch, I knew that Jacob Black was going to be more than just my lunch buddy.
He was going to be my best friend.
He had asked to come in, but I declined. I'd never had anyone in my house when my mother was home, not even Summer. I was embarrassed, afraid that my mother would treat me the same way in front of my friends as she did when we were behind closed doors. So I gave him a parting glance to make sure he was leaving before I opened my door and tiptoed in.
"Kimberly Anne Spencer!" I heard. Oh, boy.