A/N: Alright, thanks to everyone that reviewed! You guys make my day, all the time. Here's the second chapter already, be lucky I'm in the Christmas spirit. Or else I'd be too grumpy to write. :D

I beta myself, all mistakes will be my own. This is a long one too :)

I hung my soaked coat up on the coat rack, tossed my shoes to the side in a neat order and brought my bag with me into the kitchen. My mother was OCD, a complete neat freak. I didn't like to disappoint her any more than I already had.

She was in there, a ripped envelope and unfolded piece of paper spread out in front of her. Lakota, my little sister who's four, was sitting in her booster seat next to her, colouring in a book. "Hi Mom, how was your day?"

She glanced up. "Sit down, Kimberly." I cringed. She was the only person in the world who called me by my full name. Kimberly… It's so retro and boring. She slid the paper over to me and I looked at it. It was my midterm report card. I had all high eighties with excellent skills. "You're failing history, Kimberly?"

My lips fell back into a frown. Crap. "Yeah… uh I forgot to tell you."

"You could do better, I know you can." She told me in a patronizing tone. I bit back my sarcastic remark. I'm sure you know, because you see me what? Two hours a day? And one and a half of those hours are spent criticizing everything that I do and putting me down. The other half, we're eating food. "I mean, your brother had all nineties!"

I felt my hot, frustrated tears fill my eyes. "Of course, it always comes down to him! I am not my brother. I don't get perfect grades without trying! And I'm not going to live up in my room studying! I have a life you know!"

She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "Kimberly, you have one friend. And Summer is popular, something you're not, she goes out and has fun sometimes without you. Where does that leave you? At home alone, doing nothing. Your brother is out with his friends all the time, if anyone here should be an overachiever it should be you. Face it Kim, you're sort of a loser, aren't you?"

I was so used to hearing those comments that it shouldn't bother me, but it did. My heart stung, it felt like a chest cramp and I stopped myself from keeling over. The worst part would probably be that she didn't seem to think she said anything wrong. I wanted to kick, I wanted to scream and yell and tell her that I hated her and that I was a much better person than she was. I wanted to get angry, I wanted to defend myself.

But I'm Kim, so let's face it… We all knew it wasn't going to happen. So I just looked at the table and mumbled something that even I didn't understand. And then I apologized. "Sorry that I'm so disappointing. I have homework to do." So I grabbed my bag and ran up the stairs as fast as I could.

I took my anger out on the door, slamming it as hard as I could. I wish it would crack, or dent something, but my weak force just created a loud noise before it simmered down. I threw myself down on the bed, buried my face in the pillow and screamed in frustration.

I missed my father, my loving and kind father who treated all his kids like equals. I missed his goodnight kisses and late night hot chocolate. I missed our hiking trips and the way he couldn't stand chocolate ice cream. I loved the way he kissed my nose before we went to bed, the way he told me really stupid jokes when I was upset that weren't really funny but made me laugh anyway.

I loved the way he knew how to love, how he loved my mom. He made her happy and sweet, not like now. And I just loved him, love him actually. But fate had other plans for him…

He died in an animal attack. According to the police and photos, his body was savagely ripped apart and his blood was completely drained. His body was empty, his brain was lifeless. He was gone forever.

I looked a lot like my dad with his high cheekbones, wide nose and long fingers. The eyes and eyelashes I got from my mother, who was truly beautiful at one point. He and I had a special bond. He was always there for me. He praised me every day for no reason, told me that he loved me and that he was proud of me. We'd always connected by experience, he was the middle child of a family consisting of five children, and he knew what it was like to be ignored all the time.

He spoiled me to death, buying me things we couldn't really afford. He had dropped out of high school during his senior year, much of a scandal that was, and opened his own garage after he got a mechanical degree. It closed down after he died. The building was still there, rundown as always.

The feeling, the memory was still fresh in my mind, it hasn't even been a year yet.

I clutched my white pillow and kicked my feet in frustration. I could hear my sister coming up the stairs and I pulled the curtains around my bed. We shared a room because there was only three bedrooms in this house. They were all closet sized too.

After my dad died, my mom had to find work. She was a stay at home mother, because my sister had been so young. We lived on what my dad made, as little as that was and now that he was no longer supporting us, she had to get a job and help.

Emily Young watched my sister every other day while Jeff and I were at school and my mother was at work, until she started going to school every day next year. I'd pick her up if my mom was off work late or working a different shift. She was a librarian at the Public Library. I didn't like going there though. Emily was very beautiful… on the right side of her face. She was mauled by a bear, leaving thick scars on the left side of her body.

She got lucky.

"Kim?" Lakota asked in her innocent voice.

"What?" I snapped angrily, my voice scratchy.

She paused. "Are you sad?"

"I guess I am, yeah."

Uninvited, she pulled back the curtains and climbed onto my bed with me, curling up in my lap. I rested my chin atop her head and pulled her as close to me as I could get her. My tears silently dripped into her hair as her little arms went around my neck and she hugged me tight. "Emily says that there are two things that make everything better, hugs and cookies."

"Emily is a smart lady." I wiped my eyes on my sleeves and brushed Lakota's hair out of her face. She really was adorable with short dark brown hair that was perfectly curled around her tiny face. My whole family had inhabited curly hair, but the only person it looked tacky on was me. I swear, I'm cursed.

"I went to the park today." She told me, her blue eyes lighting up. "I played with Paige Cameron, Jared's sister. The one you're in love with?"

I blushed. "I'm not in love with him."

She looked confused. "Jeffy says that you are, to his friends when they come over. They laugh at you, I don't like it."

I shrugged. I always knew my older brother didn't like me. He graduated last year and now worked full time with a construction company. His girlfriend Callie was from Forks and she was taking a few college courses in Seattle but commuted back and forth a lot. She was nicer to me than he was. I might even go as far to say that we were becoming friends. I embarrassed him, his junior sister who had no friends and no social life.

Sometimes it bothered me, but I know that he's messed up a little. Dad's death took toll on him too, almost harder than me.

We were closer before our dad died, even if he did complain that Dad loved me more. He used to wave to me in the hallways. I think that my brother blames me for Dad's death.

Dad wanted me to go hiking with him but I had a lot of studying to do. I said no. I could see his disappointment but he said it was no big deal, that he'd go by himself and find us a nice spot for next time. He said he loved me anyway, I told him I loved him back.

Then I never saw him again. Somehow that was my fault, I'm not really sure how but Jeff seems to think it is. I know somewhere down inside him, he still loves me and I think he knows that too, because he seems to be afraid of showing feelings towards me, which is why I think he makes fun of me all the time. I could be wrong though.

"Just don't listen to what he says okay? He loves you, that's all that matters. Don't worry about our relationship."

She didn't understand what I meant, I could tell. She just looked at me and hopped off to play with her dolls. "Paige is coming over tomorrow!" She announced shortly after as I was enjoying the silence. "She's even going to stay for dinner!"

I opened the book I was reading for class, Jane Eyre, and pretended to be interested. "That's nice."

"And Jared's picking her up after."

"What?" I froze on the word I was reading. Dreadful, something that described the feeling that just coursed through my stomach. "Jared. Is coming here?"

She giggled and nodded. "I'm gonna tell Paige you love him!" Then she got up and ran off downstairs. I heard her yelling for the phone.

I scrambled off my bed, dropping my book and losing my page in my haste to chase after her. "Lakota, get back here! Don't you dare say anything!"

My mother's exasperated voice called me from the other room. "Kimberly, please don't shout or run in the house." She yelled at the exact point that Lakota ran past me with the phone in her hand, shouting "Nah nah!"

I screamed in frustration and ran back up the stairs as my mother shouted after me. Tears, angry tears splashed over my eyelids to my cheeks. I paced for a few short seconds before I grabbed up my cell and called Summer's number. "Hello?" She answered.

"Let's go out."

"Meet me at First Beach in ten?"

"Make it five." Then I hung up, threw on a sweater, grabbed a bag and went back downstairs. "I'm going out!" I threw on my rubber boots and ran out into the expected rain. I wished I were in a cartoon, because I'd probably have steam coming out of my ears and at least I'd get a good laugh out of it.

"Kim!" Someone called, and I heard someone running down the beach. It wasn't the person I expected and Jacob Black crushed me into a bear hug.

I blinked up at him from under my rain soaked eyelashes. "Jake?" I mumbled. "What are you doing here?"

He set me on my feet and swung his muscular arm over my shoulders, dragging my feet through the wet and heavy sand. I could vaguely make out two boys about twenty feet from us. "I'm just here with my boys. We were going to go cliff diving… But the weather turned out pretty crappy." I got shy, ducking my head towards the sand and rubbing my thumb across my forehead. "This is Quil Ateara and Embry Call."

I looked up. "Hi."

"Guys, this is Kimberly Spencer. I met her today in detention."

Quil grinned at me with one eyebrow raised. "So you go to QTS then? I've never seen you before, or heard of you."

Jacob looked down at me with worried eyes at the same time that I flinched. "Um, you were my science partner last year."

Awkward silence ensues. "Oh." He mumbled. "Sorry."

I brushed the dripping water off my face. "S'okay."

Quil looked guilty and Embry smiled at me sort of awkwardly and I waved back once. "So what brings you here, Kim?" Jake asked.

"Oh, I'm actually waiting for my friend. She was supposed to meet me here just now actually." I murmured, pulling out my cell phone to check the time. "I don't know where Summer is."

Both Embry and Jacob snickered. "Newman? Summer…Newman?" Quil asked, paling visibly. I nodded. "Oh no…" He moaned.

As if she was called, Summer emerged. "Kim!" She called from behind me. I watched her walk over, her hair in a long French braid covered by a white hat. She looked beautiful in the rain too. Quil was looking at the ground.

She obviously recognized the boys beside me because her eyes lit up. "Hey, I didn't know you knew the three amigos!" She stuck out her hand and high fived them all. "Jake, Embry…" Then I noticed her face start to darken. "Quil."

Then I got it. Summer liked Quil… And Quil liked Summer. I caught Jacob's eye and smiled. "Yeah I just met them today… Well, Quil was my partner in science last year." He gave me a weary look.

"Oh yeah! I remember you telling me how stupid he was." She laughed freely and nudged him with her arm. I looked at her with panicked, wide eyes. I did not say that! I mouthed to her.

But Quil just laughed. "I deserved that, I guess." He stuck his tongue out at Summer and she hit his arm.

"Hey Kim, Embry, I remember I saw something over there and I wanted to show you." Jacob said suddenly and very obviously, grabbing my arm and dragging me towards the cliffs. I looked back to see Embry following along, smirking. "Sheesh, they should get over themselves and go on a date."

I used the sleeves of my sweater to wipe under my eyes, where my non waterproof mascara was running. Embry and Jacob were in a conversation about something completely odd that I couldn't understand for the life of me, so I used that time to admire Jacob's muscles. He was, for lack of better words, gorgeous.

Come to think of it, all three of them were very good looking. Then I looked at Summer, her perfect figure and gorgeous face and I watched the way Quil smiled at her and subtly reached across and grabbed her hand and I realised that I would never have a boyfriend.

I was… not ugly per say, just normal. Painfully normal and boring. No guy like Jacob, Embry or Quil would ever like me and I'd be forever invisible. The sound of Embry hissing made me jump, as it were so seemingly out of character for him. "What a little bastard. It's about time the pussy made a move." I looked up to see Quil leading Summer behind the tree line by the hand.

Great, so much for hanging out with Summer. I sighed out loud. "Well, that was a bust for plans. I guess I should get back home before my mom…" I trailed off. "I'll see you guys later."

I walked away, feeling worse than before I'd gotten there before Jacob grabbed my arm. "Kim, wait!" He called. "You can stay and hang out with us if that's okay with you."

My heart stopped. "Sure." I said too quickly. We stayed out in the rain until it started to get dark.

"I really need to go home, Jake." Embry mentioned. "It's almost six, and my mom hates when I'm late for dinner." They did their weird man hug thing and I snickered. "Nice meeting you Kim." He touched his hand to mine and smiled before he turned around and jogged away.

"I have to go too." I told him almost sadly. "I'm probably already grounded. But I'll see you at lunch tomorrow."

"Let me walk you, it's getting dark."

I laughed. "It's La Push, Jacob. I don't think anything's going to happen to me."

He blinked, almost as if he were embarrassed. "Right…Well yeah, tomorrow. Sure, sure." He hugged me, his signature bear hug. "Goodnight Kim."

I waved, almost skipping away and feeling a thousand times better about myself. If Jacob wanted to be my friend, I couldn't be that bad right? I walked home feeling amazing.

"Oh Kim, where have you been? I didn't even realise you were gone." That's what my mother's greeting was when I got in the door.

"I went out with Summer." I mumbled.

She sipped her coffee and nodded as if she cared. "Well, get cleaned up for dinner. Six thirty as always."

Suddenly, I felt ugly again.

I sat at my laptop twenty minutes later, showered and warm, tapping my fingers on the keys. You can do this Kim, don't be chicken. So I typed it in.

How To: Raise Your Self- Esteem.

Step One: Stop comparing yourself with other people.

Step Two: Stop putting yourself down.

Step Three: Accept all compliments with "thank you."

Step Four: Use affirmations to raise your self-esteem.

Step Five: Take advantage of workshops, books and cassette tape programs on self-esteem.

Step Six: Associate yourself with positive, supportive people.

Step Seven: Make a list of your past success

Step Eight: Make a list of your positive qualities

Step Nine: Start giving more

Step Ten: Get involved in work and activities you love

Step Eleven: Be true to yourself

And Step Twelve: Take action.

So I learned that I needed to stop comparing myself to Summer, Sierra and almost every other girl I've encountered at QTS, stop calling myself ugly and normal, say thank you if someone ever compliments me, be affirmative with myself, read books about self-esteem, try to think about any time that I've succeeded in anything, try to think of positive qualities, give, pretend to be interested in something and then join it, be myself and take action.

I could do those if I really, really tried. But there was one I had a problem with.

Associate yourself with positive, supportive people. See, that wouldn't be too hard. Summer and Jacob are supportive, Quil and Embry seem like they'd be alright to be around.

I'm fine with hanging out with them; it's the unsupportive people I have a problem with. I can't really get rid of my mom, or my brother… Or Jared.

But I could try, right?

I'm going to get over Jared. I swear to God. On a whim, I grabbed the notebook from school off my bed, took out all the pages with his name on it and tore them up until they were itty bitty pieces in my trashcan.

And I felt so much better. This may be easier than I thought.

"Kimberly, dinner!"

"Coming!" I called back with a smile on my face. That same smile was there when I went to bed too.

Getting over Jared was surprisingly easy. One thing that helped was that he wasn't at school for two whole weeks.

Paige did come over for dinner, but Jared never ended up picking her up. My mom had to drive her home an hour after he was supposed to be there. She came back and told me that his mother hadn't seen him all day.

I hung out with Jacob and Embry that same day, seeing as Summer was busy. Apparently she and Quil were on a date.

Sunday she came over and she told me that he had kissed her. They were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. So we spent the whole day listening to cool music, eating ice cream and I listened to her ramble on about how great Quil was.

Monday was back to school and to my surprise, Jared was not present. I wanted to ask Paul where he was but I was trying to get over him. True to their word, the amigos sat with me at lunch. Quil was off in lala land, he barely opened his big mouth to talk all lunch period. Embry didn't really talk anyway, so I just chatted with Jacob and secretly admired his gorgeous smile.

In history, I actually managed to do my work that day and the teacher was so impressed that he gave me extra credit for getting it done. I was officially passing that class.

Tuesday was a lot more interesting. Sierra was walking around furiously and anyone that even looked at her got snapped at. I was amused, but afraid to ask. Embry told me the story at lunchtime.

Apparently, Sierra had gone to see Jared the night before. His mother said he wasn't home, but gave her a letter addressed to her and told her not to open it until she got home.

It was a break up letter from Jared.

I had never laughed so hard in my life. I think they thought I was going crazy. Then I sobered up when I realised I was supposed to be over Jared.

The rest of the week flew by, I was becoming closer to these boys than I'd ever thought possible. And Jake seemed to get prettier every time I saw him.

Suddenly, the weekend was gone and so was the week after that and the weekend after that. All too soon, it was Monday.

"I hate Mondays." I complained as I sat down for breakfast. Pancakes, yum. "Every week should start on a Tuesday."

My smart aleck brother slid me the syrup from across the table. "Wouldn't you just hate Tuesdays then?" He smiled at me, not a smirk or a sneer, but a real smile.

"Someone's in a good mood." I commented.

He paused, looked at my mom and looked back at me. "I'm driving you to school today. Tell Summer, we need to talk."

I sat in his car twenty minutes later, fidgeting awkwardly in the passenger's seat. "So what's up?" I asked him.

He pulled something out of his pocket, momentarily distracted from his driving. He placed the mysterious object into the palm of my hand and I fingered the cold metal. "Is that…" I opened my palm to reveal a small, simple but stunningly beautiful diamond ring. "Oh my goodness."

"I'm going to ask Callie to marry me tonight." He told me with his blue eyes wide and shining.

Callie, all 5'6, red haired and blue eyed was the complete opposite of my brother, but she was perfect for him. And now, apparently, they were going to get married. "Wow." I breathed. "Congratulations."

"I hope she says yes.

"She will." I assured him as we pulled into the school parking lot. Summer and Quil were standing by the front entrance with their hands interlocked, heads closed together and deep in conversation. Jacob and Embry were headed towards them but Jake spotted me and detoured around to where I was getting out of the car with Jeff.

I waved at him and turned to my brother and spontaneously threw my arms around his waist in a tight hug. He patted my back awkwardly, but didn't try to push me away. I think he needed the reassurance. "Everything will work out."

"Thanks." He looked me in the eye and nodded before getting back into his car.

Jacob was beside me in a second, arm around me as usual. "I thought your brother hated you."

I laughed. "He does, sort of. But there are some things that a brother and sister just bond over, you know." I looked down at my fist and gasp. "Shit!" I still had his ring. Crap, I was always losing things. What was I going to do? I looked where he had disappeared to and saw no one. "Oh no… Jacob, how good are you at making sure important things stay in a safe place?"

I held out the ring and his eyes widened. "Kim… Are you getting married?" He looked horrified, a bit sad and angry.

"No! Oh God, no! It's my brother's. I forgot to give it back to him!"

He laughed nervously. "Oh. Well… Why don't you just wear it around your finger? It looks your size, does it not?"

"But…"

He touched the top of my head and smiled. "I'll defend you if anyone says anything. You trust me right?"

"Of course."

He smiled at me, took the ring and slid it onto my left hand. Despite myself, I looked away with a blush and caught eyes with Summer who had her eyes popped out of her head. Quil was beside her, looking like she did. Embry shook his head at me and pursed his lips as if he were confused about something. "M'lady." Jacob snickered, kissing my hand.

I pulled away my tingling hand and smacked him lightly. "You are such an ignoramus."

"Oh such big words hurt me deeply." He placed a hand over his heart and used the other one to grab mine and pull me along. I shoved my left hand into my pocket and didn't look anybody in the eye as Jacob and I walked to my locker as usual.

"Don't you ever have to get anything from your locker?" I asked him as he reached up to help me grab the stuff on the top shelf that I couldn't reach and passing them to me.

He wrapped an arm around my waist, something he always did. It didn't matter if we were walking to class, at the beach, at his house or just standing around, we always had body contact. I think he was so used to protecting me at school from everyone who liked to pick on me that it had become a habit. "I usually go to my locker after I walk you to class. It's like three feet away, convenient right?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh totally, seeing as if our school is like the length of two hallways. Or the shape of a square…"

He gave me a half side hug as we stopped in front of the door to my class. "I'll see you after class."

Of course. I sat down in my seat quietly, tucking my left hand under my knee. The girl who sat beside me, Brittany, tapped me on the shoulder. She smiled at me, white teeth glinting in the light of the room. "Hey, are you going out with Jacob Black?"

I laughed, accidentally bringing my hand up to wave off the accusation. "No, we're just friends."

She grabbed my hand. "Is that an engagement ring?" Her mouth fell open. "Just friends, sure." Then she pulled out her phone and started texting a mile a minute. No!

By the time class ended, everyone was staring at me. I couldn't have gotten out of that class faster, I actually went out about a minute early. I paced, deciding to walk towards Jacob's class instead of waiting for him. I got there just as the bell rang and he came barrelling out. "Kim!" He exclaimed.

"Everyone thinks we're engaged!" I moaned.

He laughed. "I know."

"Doesn't that bother you?"

His face went sober and he looked me in the eyes. "Kim, you said you trusted me. I promised that I'd defend you. And I will, so just trust me okay?"

I sighed. "Alright…" Just then, a sophomore that I didn't really recognize passed us just as Jacob decided he was going to brush a stray lock of curly hair that had flown out of my ponytail behind my ear.

"Jake, my man!" He shouted, high fiving him. "Is this the girl you're hitting?" He looked at my chest and I self-consciously zipped up my sweater. Jacob sniggered.

I tapped my index finger against my textbook, waiting for him to defend me like he promised. All he did was wink and say, "I don't kiss and tell."

The guy nodded and grinned at me before he walked away. I sat there in shock, mouth open. "You promised!" I cried, turning on my heel to storm away to my locker.

"Hey, wait up!" Jake shouted, jogging after me. "Aw Kim, come on! I was only kidding, don't be so sensitive." My eyes were filling up with angry tears and I shot an angry glance at him before I got my books and ignored him. "Kimberly Anne Spencer, don't you ignore me!" He told me in a mock authorized tone.

I walked away in a huff. "Leave me alone, Jake." And I entered through my classroom door.

He texted me all the way until lunch and I had twenty text messages in total before I arrived in the cafeteria. I was late because my teacher had held my class a little bit late so we could finish up a presentation, so the musketeers were already seated when I got there. I skipped my usual seat beside Jake in favour for the one in between Quil and Embry.

He groaned. "Kim, I'm sorry!" I ignored him. A chorus of oohs could be heard from the obnoxious boys beside me. "What if I make it up to you?"

I was interested. "How so?"

"What if we do something tonight?" He didn't even need to think, but I think my heart just stopped. "We'll go to dinner in Forks, just the two of us." And as an afterthought he added, "And I won't joke around like that. I'll tell the truth. So what do you say?"

I forgot to breathe, I'm sure of it. I was started to get light headed. "Kim?" He panicked, a look of rejection washing over his face.

"I think she stopped breathing." Quil added his unnecessary comment from beside me, snapping his fingers in my face.

Embry slapped his hand. "Dude, that's obviously not helping." Thank you, Embry. He was always the sensible one. "Kim, breathe. Breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth."

I let out a whopping gasp of air and panted. "O-okay." I stuttered, reverting back to shy, I-don't-know-you Kim.

"Great!" Jake exclaimed, standing up and dragging me over to my usual spot. "So I'll pick you up at six thirty? I'll drive."

"Do you even have your license?"

He laughed. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't. But the Chief of Police is a good friend of my dad's, so I don't think I'll get into any trouble."

I sighed. "If you say so."

"Kim!" Summer was screaming from across the cafeteria. All eyes shot to her and Quil's head shot up from the sandwich he was eating, spraying mustard on my arm. Ew. She was tripping over her leather boots in her haste to get to me, one chopstick falling out of the bun atop her head. "Sorry boys, I need to borrow her. Now."

So she pulled me away with her hand tucked under my elbow and out the doors at the back of the room. "What's up? Why are you so worked up?"

"Jared's back. And he's huge, angry and hotter than ever!" She exclaimed.

"What?" I asked in pure disbelief.

Jared was back already?