Summary of Events: After breaking Kate out of Earth's prison, Deidara, Itachi, Kakuzu, and Ms. Wendy must decided what to do in about the blue orb. Hannah, Zetsu, Tobi, Konan, and Leader are in the Akatsuki world (AKA the Fence) and Dessie, Kisame, and Hidan (to know one's awareness but their own) are in Wargonia.

Chapter Fifty-Six: Art is a Bang

Rule Number Fifty-Six: Sacrifices are necessary, no matter how bloody and violent they are

Kate

Holding council is a traditional part of the Akatsuki lifestyle. At the hideout on a "regular" Akatsuki day, Leader will call a meeting at least twice a week and, when any difficult situation arises Leader calls a meeting. Even when Leader is not present – the Akatsuki still feel obliged to sit down and discuss their ideas like "regular" and "civilized" human beings. So, when Kakuzu, Itachi, Deidara, Ms. Wendy, and I were stuck in a crisis, what did we do?

We held council.

"I can't stand another minute in the shitty dimension! Can't we just blow the whole place up and go back already!"

"How about we sell Deidara to the freak show?"

"Hn…"

"I think we should all sit down and discuss this peacefully…"

"Kakuzu – don't you dare get down on one knee to me!"

Yes, this is what the Akatsuki calls a peaceful meeting and, after spending so much time with them, I would have to say that this scream-fest in the middle of one of Dessie's multiple dinning rooms was pretty tame.

It was only through the wrath and power of Ms. Wendy and the silent intimidation of Itachi which managed to turn this meeting into some sort of sense. Itachi threatened to Sharingan everyone's asses ("hn" means a lot of things) and Ms. Wendy threatened to never speak to Kakuzu again if he didn't shut up (this also meant that Kakuzu would get no money from her).

"So…" I said slowly, glancing around the table at all the solemn faces. "What are we going to – er – do about the blue orb?"

"Blow it up."

"Sell it."

"Hn…"

Ms. Wendy smacked herself in the forehead and sighed. "Is this all S-ranked criminals are capable of coming up with? You're all at the level of Dessie…"

"What happened after we left?" asked Itachi (so he is capable of full sentences from time-to-time).

Ms. Wendy shrugged. "Nothing much. The cops realized you lot had vanished and started prowling around. They knew Dessie was involved and took my in for questioning and examined the house, but they could find nothing suspicious and had to let me go. I inherited the money and lived my life peacefully – thanks for ruining it, assholes – and the cops kept Hannah's ex-house under observation."

"That's all…" said Kakuzu thoughtfully. "Of course those cops were no match for my tough cookie."

"Call me that again and you'll find important body parts missing."

Kakuzu chuckled, but – I noticed – he never called Ms. Wendy "tough cookie" again.

"Why can't we just blow up the orb?" asked Deidara irritably.

Everyone simply ignored him.

"The blue orb is the only known access between the worlds," said Itachi thoughtfully. "And as long as it exists people can travel between our world and this one."

"This is the most I have ever seen Itachi talk, uhn."

Itachi ignored him. "We can't blow the orb up because then Kate, Hannah, and Dessie could never get home…"

"And I could never see Ms. Wendy again," added Kakuzu.

"I think we should just blow the orb up," I said softly. "Unless Itachi wants to get rid of us that badly…"

There was a pause as everyone turned to stare at me. Itachi looked mildly surprised, Kakuzu looked devastated, Deidara looked excited, and Ms. Wendy was just plain bored.

"Hurry up and blow it to smithereens," she said. "Then I can keep the money and stop worrying about Dessie coming back to claim it."

"You're not going to miss her at all, uhn?" asked Deidara. "Didn't you raise her and nurtured her into the violent, mindless stalker-bitch that she is today? Don't you feel the need to take some responsibility for the beast you have created, uhn?"

Ms. Wendy shrugged. "She's happier with you – put the monstrosity to good use."

"B-b-b-but," wailed Kakuzu. "If we blow up the orb, I can never see my beloved Ms. Wendy again!"

(Ignored)

"You'll never be able to see your parents again," pointed out Itachi. "Nor Hannah hers."

I smiled. Rule Number Fifty-Six: "Sacrifices must be made."

"Ms. Wendy!" Kakuzu grabbed her by the wrist ignoring the disgusted face Ms. Wendy made. Kakuzu gripped her wrist hard and cried, "Marry me, Ms. Wendy! And then come back with us!'

"Hell no, bastard. I'm going to be filthy stinking rich – I'm going for a good-looking young boy than an ugly old fart like you!"

"But that good-looking young boy will only want you for your money!"

Ms. Wendy snorted. "Aren't you?"

Kakuzu considered this for a second. "Well… Yeah… But my intentions are strictly pure!"

With a sigh, Ms. Wendy shook Kakuzu's hands off. "Go fall in love with someone else who's rich, bastard. I don't go for money-mongering criminals. Besides, I am the woman who raised Dessie, remember?"

"Oh yeah…" said Kakuzu thoughtfully. "That is a bit of a turn off."

I leaned against the hood of Dessie's Rolls-Royce. Deidara had already hopped into the backseat and Itachi had claimed shotgun (no one dared to argue with Itachi). I turned to Ms. Wendy with a smile while Kakuzu finished off his last proposal and Ms. Wendy rejected him one last time. Then, Kakuzu sulkily got into the backseat of the car and I approached Ms. Wendy.

"Dessie says to take good care of Blake."

Ms. Wendy smirked. "And here I was going to sell him to the highest bidder."

I frowned slightly and shook my head. "But…"

"Just kidding," said Ms. Wendy though I had the feelings that was a lie. "Are you sure you don't want to see your parents one last time?"

Stiffly, I shook my head. "Easier this way. Just tell them I'm safe and well. And I have a boyfriend who loves me and Dessie and Hannah will take care of me…"

"Kate!" shouted Deidara, sticking his head out of the rolled down car-window. "Get your ass in this car and start driving – I want to blow shit up!"

With a quick farewell hug with Ms. Wendy, I slid into the driver's seat of the Rolls-Royce and put the car into gear. I drove out of the driveway and left Dessie's mansion behind for the last time. I was kind of going to miss it (life's good when you have a rich and powerful best friend).

"I missed her already," said Kakuzu. "There's a great hole in one of my hearts where her money is."

"Don't you mean where she is?" I asked.

"What?"

"You said where her money is – don't you mean where she is?"

Kakuzu stared at me confusedly. "I miss the money, not her."

"Don't bother," said Deidara, his blond hair flapping about wildly in the gushing wind pouring into the car from the open window. "Kakuzu's first and only love is money."

I sighed. "Kakuzu, one day you will fall in love for real - and it will really hurt you."

Kakuzu grinned. "Tell me when that day comes, and then I can go bounty hunting and make everything better with a little extra cash."

"Crazy ass," muttered Deidara. "Drive faster! I want to go Ka-boom!"

"Hn…"

We drove in silence for a little while and I felt obliged to switch on the radio to fill the car with sound, but then Itachi got irritated and turned to radio off. The silence continued. The car entered the suburbs where Hannah's ex-house was located. A sense of fear began to grow in the pits of my stomach. I trembled a little, but otherwise managed to keep my calm.

Then, I saw the pale white of the police cars and the red-and-blue sirens and my heart almost jumped right out of my chest. I parked the car on the side of the road and we all slipped out, careful not to be seen by the cops.

"So," said Kakuzu softly. "What's the plan again?"

"Charge right in and blow the place to hell, uhn."

"Er…" I mumbled. "Not quite…"

"Kakuzu and I will distract the police in the front," said Itachi. "While Deidara and Kate sneak around the back. Deidara will set up the bombs and he will blow up one little bird in the sky when he is ready. Then, Kakuzu and I will enter the house and we will all jump into the orb. Right when we all jump in, Deidara will blow the place to smithereens."

"He speaks…" muttered Deidara. "I am overwhelmed by his speech, uhn."

"Hn…"

I decided to translate that as "let's go" and Kakuzu and Itachi made their way to the front yard where a police car and several cops stood outside chatting in low voices. Itachi and Kakuzu walked up awkwardly and then, suddenly, Kakuzu stopped and pointed at the police.

"Itachi! Look! Cops! Who would have thought they would still be staking this place out?"

"Hn."

I smacked myself in the forehead. "Kakuzu is an awful actor."

"Uhn. But it looks like they're buying it."

Sure enough, the cops turned to Itachi and Kakuzu. Guns at the ready, the cops started shouting commands at Itachi and Kakuzu. Of course, neither of them felt obliged to comply with the demands and, before I knew it, a full out shooting battle was going on.

Thank Warg for shinobi because the police's bullet could not even scratch Itachi and Kakuzu. With ease, they dodged the police's attacks and even dealt out a few attacks of their own (though, as promised, all violence was kept to the humanly plausible level). I watched, transfixed, as Itachi and Kakuzu and the police engaged in the dance of death. Then, Deidara tapped my arm and we hurried around the house via the neighbor's yard.

We hopped the fence and, thankfully, ran into no police officers as we crossed the lawn and entered the house through the glass door in the back. Almost immediately after entering the house, Deidara started slapping his clay on to everything. I wish I could have helped, but there was not getting between Deidara and his art (I doubt even Hannah had that much power).

Deidara finished with the downstairs and headed upstairs to place the final touches to his masterpiece. I remained in the sitting room, fidgeting nervously.

The blue orb had appeared in the far corner, casting faint rays of light across the room. My shadow stretched out beside me, lumpy and deformed. I sucked in my gut and tried to make my shadow look more attractive, but, of course, a shadow is a hopeless case.

"What are you doing, Kate…?" I muttered.

"Who's there!"

My heart skipped a beat.

"I can see you! Put your hands up!"

Slowly, I raised my head and I saw a young, female cop clutching a gun in her hands and pointing it directly at me. She stood in the doorway of the sitting room, having snuck past Itachi and Kakuzu apparently.

"Um… hi…" I said awkwardly.

"Put your hands up!"

I did as commanded. "I'm really harmless, I promise. It's the others you have to look out for."

"Shut up!"

"I'm trying to help you," I said softly. "I really don't like it when people get hurt."

"Then why are you with them!" she snarled.

I considered this for a moment and then said, "Because I like it when they get hurt even less."

"Then you're just as bad as them."

"You're one to talk!" I wailed. "You're the one pointing a gun at me! All I ever do is blush and stutter and fall in love with idiots who save my life! And now you're threatening to kill me? What did I ever do to you!"

"You–"

But before the female cop could reply properly, there was the sound of an explosion echoing from above. We both look up and the cop lowered her gun slightly, gazing up at the ceiling.

I took that moment as my opportunity. I drove at the female cop, my thin, white hands reached for the gun.

She screamed.

BANG!

BOOM!

Another scream.

Cold metal clutched in my hands as I fell onto the hardwood floor. My body stung painfully and I ached all over. Slowly, I rolled onto my back and through squinted eyes I gazed up at Deidara's face.

"You got shot."

"No…" I muttered.

"Then why is your shoulder bleeding, uhn?"

Thickly, I swatted my right shoulder with the opposite hand and my fingers were met with the warm feel of flowing blood. "Oh…" I murmured. "So I was shot… Only grazed… Not deep… I think…"

Deidara leant over and helped me to my feet. I leaned on him and he said, "Kakuzu can fix you up. He's a doctor or something like that."

"He puts Hidan's head back on all the time…" I said.

"Well, it's not like that's hard to do, uhm. There's not a lot there to begin with."

There came the sound of running footsteps and the faces of Itachi and Kakuzu appeared blurrily before my eyes. The world rocked back and forth and the floor sort of slanted. Bile rose in my throat and I quickly swallowed it back down again.

"She looks like she's about to be sick."

"Hn."

"As long as she doesn't throw up on me, I don't care."

"Let's go."

There was a flash of blue light and then another. I guess Itachi and Kakuzu were gone now, heading back to their dimension via the blue orb. Deidara and I stepped closer. He raised his hand awkwardly since he was supporting me with the other. A sly grin slid onto his face and he said, "Art is a BANG! Katsu!"

And then we stepped into the blue orb and disappeared in a flash of red, orange, yellow, and blue…