Probably the dumbest chapter I've written, but it was my roommate's idea… So, enjoy.

Chapter 103: Gender Bender

Bruce's POV

I sighed as my focus on the tests I was running was interrupted by Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin screaming at each other. I swallowed an aspirin for the headache I now have before returning my attention to them.

"Enough!" I barked as the four of them quickly shut up.

I turned around to face them and stared at them in shock. Oh my God.

"Richard, what happened?" I wearily asked.

"We were on patrol, when Klaron showed up and decided to start causing trouble… That's when Jason decided it would be a good idea to call him a pussy!" Dick yelled.

"It's not my fault! I didn't know he'd give us one!" Jason yelled.

"So, you're telling me that Klaron turned you into girls?" I asked as they nodded. "And where is Klaron now?"

"He kinda got away." Dick added as I groaned.

"My Lord!" Alfred exclaimed as he appeared on the stairs.

"Um, Alfred. Would you please get them something to wear?"

********Break********

A couple of hours later the boys… girls were gathered in the cave. Dick was dressed in those ridiculously tight skinny jeans with a frilly, lacy sweater and boots. Jason was wearing a tank top and camouflage pants and combat boots. Both Tim and Damian were wearing long sweaters and those tights that obviously aren't pants with boots. By now their voices had changed… This is so awkward.

"Jason, what are you doing?" I asked as his hands kept pulling at the bra.

"It's itchy! How do girls wear this damn thing! The wire is pure torture!"

"Did you find a way to change us back?" Tim asked ignoring Jason.

"Well… In a way… Because magic was used to transform you, magic is needed to change you back. So, the spell is reversible… But, Zatanna won't be here for another five days."

"What! You mean we have to stay like this for five days!" Jason screamed.

"Yes. And the four of you cannot leave the manor either."

"What are we supposed to do all day?" Damian asked.

"We can look at ourselves naked." Jason whispered to Dick as I glared at them.

********Break********

Jason's POV

"Jay, come here!" Dick screamed as I reluctantly walked into his room.

Dick was standing in front of his mirror shirtless.

"Does my left boob look bigger than my right?"

"Are you freaking serious?"

"This is important!"

"Not like it matters. You're flat chested."

Dick gasped and sniffed, "I am a B thank you very much."

"Yeah, well I'm a C." I bragged as I took my shirt off.

"No one cares, Jason!"

"You're jealous." I smirked.

"Oh please… Besides, my ass is bigger!"

"It's because you're fat."

He gasped before yelling, "I am not fat! And one of your boobs is way bigger than the other!"

"What!" I yelled, looking down.

"Ha! See I told you one of them is bigger!"

"No freaking way! Here, let's check."

Bruce's POV

I sighed as I heard yelling coming from Dick's room. I headed for his room to find out what all the yelling was about. My mouth nearly fell open as I came to find Dick and Jason with their hands on each other's breasts.

Quietly, I closed the door and quickly retreated. Oh my God. I have to call Zatanna… And I am never adopting girls.

********Break********

The next morning I took my place at the table. Tim was the first to come in. He… she sat quietly and looked up at me in pity.

"You alright, Tim?"

"I don't like this, Bruce… I think I'm going through puberty." Tim replied as I nearly choked on my coffee.

"Don't worry. Just a few more days and it will be over." I promised as Dick literally skipped into the room.

"Morning Daddy!" Dick sang, pressing a kiss to my cheek before plopping down into the chair beside me.

"Uh… hi." I mumbled in shock.

"Are you wearing, perfume?" Tim asked as Dick nodded.

"Yeah. I bought it for Barbara, but I decided to try it. Smells good doesn't it?"

"Grayson, you smell like a French whore." Damian growled, taking a seat beside Dick.

"You're just jealous, Dami… Bruce can I have your credit card? There's this cute little dress store and I-" Dick began as I blinked in horror. What is wrong with them?

At that moment, Jason sulked in.

"Good morning, Jason." I said as I received a glare that could rival my own.

"What's so freaking good about it!" Jason snapped.

"You okay, Jay?" Dick asked.

"I woke up in a puddle of blood! I've literally got Satan's Waterfall and you think I'm okay! Do you even know what it's like to shove a tampon up-"

"Jason! Stop!" I screamed as he… she looked up at me.

"What?"

"I…I, um, I'm late for work." I stammered before quickly getting up without my breakfast.

"But, it's Saturday. You don't work on the weekends." Dick pointed out.

"It's never too early to start!" I yelled before running out of the dining room and into Alfred.

"Master Bruce, breakfast will be finished shortly. There is no need for you to enter the kitchen. If you remember correctly, you are banned from this room."

"Alfred, I can't deal with them!"

"Why not?" he asked as I gripped his shoulders.

"They're girls! I barely know what to do with them as boys and now they're girls! Alfred, do something!"

"Fret not, Sir. They will only be this way for a few more days."

"I suppose you're right… I'll be back in a few days."

********Break********

Dick's POV

"Has anyone seen Bruce?" I asked as Jay, Tim, and Dami all shrugged and shook their heads.

I was about to ask another question before the doorbell rang. The four of us stared at the front door.

"What should we do?" Jason asked.

"Alfred!" I called out.

"He went shopping." Tim said as we continued to stare at the door.

"Should we answer it?" I asked.

"I vote Dick gets it." Jason said as he was seconded by Tim and Damian.

"Thanks guys." I muttered before stalking over to the door and peeking outside to find Barbara.

"Oh no! It's Babs!" I squeaked.

She rang the bell again and crossed her arms. I quickly backed away from the door and grabbed Jason, Tim, and Damian.

"New plan! We're going to hide! We can't let anyone see us like this!" I screamed as Alfred suddenly came out of nowhere and answered the door.

"Alfred! No!" I hissed as Barbara stepped in and immediately stared at the four of us.

"Miss Gordon, this is not the best time. Master Richard is extremely busy at the moment." Alfred began before she pushed past him.

"Who are they?" she asked, glaring at us.

"I um… I'm Di…xie. Dixie." I replied. "And these are my um sisters: Jasmine, Tammy, and um…Da…Da… Daquisha!" I blurted out as she stepped closer.

"Dick is that you?"

"Of course not!"

"Are you sure?" she asked again, while crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked as she nodded.

"Yeah… What happened?"

"We got hit by a magic spell and tada! Here we are!" I exclaimed.

"Okay." She replied before reaching into her purse and pulling a bottle of pills.

She handed the bottle to Jason and said, "Here. You look like you're about to murder someone. It's a girl's once a month best friend… Midol."

"Uh thanks." He replied as she turned back to me.

"How long is this going to last?"

"Two more days."

"Okay then… See you in two days." She replied before leaving.

"Daquisha? Really? Does Damian look black to you?" Jason asked.

"I panicked!"

********Break*******

Tim's POV

"Do you think Bruce is coming back?" I asked as Damian nodded.

"Of course… Father must be on an important mission or else he would be here." Damian replied.

*********Break*********

Bruce's POV

"A little to the left, Selina." I grunted as she pressed her palm into the lower of my back.

"Feeling better yet?" she purred as I grunted.

I sighed as she continued to massage my back.

********Break********

Dick's POV

"Hey Jay… This is the last night we have to spend as girls… You thinkin what I'm thinkin?"

"What?"

"We have to go clubbing."

********Break********

Bruce's POV

"Selina, I don't know about this." I began.

"Oh come on, Bruce. You'll be fine. You won't be there as Bruce, you'll be there as Matches Malone." She purred.

"Selina, that is a club for criminals!"

"So?"

"Come on, it's the best club in Gotham as of now. And I want you to go with me." She insisted.

"Fine." I grumbled before getting out of the car and placing a match stick in my mouth.

We walked in and we were immediately exposed to the dimly lit lights, cigarette smoke, alcohol, and loud music. Drunk criminals stumbled throughout the club. I caught sight of a couple of girls on stripper poles.

Selina immediately pulled me onto the dance floor and began rubbing her body over mine before we sauntered over to the wet bar. She ordered our drinks as I caught sight of two very familiar girls up on stage sliding up and down a pole… Oh. My. God.

********Break*******

"What were you thinking!" I yelled as they both winced.

"We were just having a little fun-" Dick began before quickly shutting up as I glared at him.

"Fun! You think putting yourself on display like that was fun? I ought to spank the two of you right-" I began before noticing Tim and Conner enter the room along with Damian and Colin. "What are they doing here?" I growled, narrowing my eyes at the two boys.

"We're just hanging out, Bruce." Tim said.

"Conner and Colin, go home. Now. Tim and Damian, go to bed. Now."

"But, it's only nine."

"Then get in bed and stare at the ceiling!" I snapped as the four of them gave me confused expressions.

"But, Father-"

"Now!" I barked as the four of them quickly disappeared.

"Tisk, tisk. Timmy and Damian should have known better-" Dick began.

"Stop changing the subject! You two are still in trouble!"

"Bruce, chill. We're adults." Jason shrugged.

"I don't care how old you are! How dare the two of you go to some night club on Crime Alley without protection!"

"Relax Bruce. We had protection. I brought the condoms." Jason said as I merely stared at them in horror. "Oh… You didn't mean that kind of protection, did you?"

*********Break**********

"Master Bruce, Miss Zatanna is here." Alfred called as I nearly tackled her in a hug.

"Thank you for coming." I said.

"You're welcome. What's wrong with your boys?" she asked as I pointed at the four of them on the couch. "Fix them! Now!"

"What happened?"

"Klaron placed a curse on them and they're girls now."

"Wait, did you say curse?"

"Yes… Why?"

"Only a curse can be lifted by the one who delivered the curse in the first place. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do. You're stuck with four daughters unless you can find Klaron again." Zatanna apologized as I blinked.

Slowly, I turned and left the room as Dick called, "Bruce, where are you going?"

"To fix this!"

********Break********

Dick's POV

Less than an hour later, I was on the couch with Jay, Timmy, and Dami. We were watching The Notebook. I cried as the movie came to an end. I looked over to see that Jason, Tim, and Damian weren't girls anymore… Wait! What!

I quickly looked down. Oh my God! I'm a man again!

"We're back to normal!" I exclaimed.

"Holy shit! My balls aren't on my chest anymore!" Jason cheered.

"Yay! I don't have to go through puberty as a girl anymore!" Tim shouted.

"I knew Father would come through!" Damian yelled.

"Wait a minute… What if we played a prank on Bruce?"

"What do you mean?" Tim asked.

"First, we'll need a couple of balloons and wigs and-"

********Break********

Bruce's POV

"I promise! I'll never turn them into girls again!" Klaron shrieked as I glared at him.

"Are they back to normal?" I growled.

"They are as promised!" he cried.

"Good… And they had better stay that way." I growled before tossing the jar that now contained the tiny sorcerer to Zatanna.

"Do whatever you want with him. I'm going home."

Twenty minutes later, I pulled into the Batcave.

"Boys!" I called as the four of them quickly appeared.

What the hell went wrong! I quickly noticed that none of their appearances had changed. Oh no. Not happening. I can't deal with this… Dick will end up pregnant. I'd have to ship Jason off somewhere once a month. I'd have to lock Tim and Damian in their rooms to keep them away from Conner and Colin… I can't do this!

Damian's POV

The four of us watched as Father put the Batmobile in reverse and quickly zoomed out of the cave.

"Why did Father leave?" I asked.

"Because, Bruce can't handle the fact that girls just wanna have fun."