A/N: Two things, One, we made it to 200 reviews! That's awesome, and I'm so happy and touched by everyone who takes the time to review. For a reward, if you review this chapter, I'll send you a sneak peek of the next one!

Two, concerning Claire/Quil in this story, they are not the same ones from ATOF if you've read that. I know her sister has the same name (Danni) but I didn't feel like shoving that storyline in here, and I didn't want to make Quil sad, so I kept her in.

I told myself I wasn't going to panic. And so far, I was doing a pretty good job of that. I didn't panic when Paul came down with my bridesmaid dress that fit me like a glove and I didn't panic when Emily called me eight or nine times to talk about wedding details and to gush about the fact that Leah was going to be in her wedding. I didn't even panic when Paul told me that Jared was going to be a groomsman.

I just kept a stone face with a polite smile and nodded when it was appropriate. I was going to get through this and then I was going to come back to Portland where no one could hurt me.

So no, I hadn't panicked yet. Until the night before when I was supposed to be packing and I froze up.

"Hello, Earth to Kim. Come in." Ellie snapped her fingers in front of my face, snapping me out of my trance. I had been sitting on my bed, staring at the wall for what seemed like forever. "It's almost midnight and you haven't even started. Are you forgetting that Paul is picking you up at five in the morning? Are you planning on getting any sleep?"

I ignored her bitching and turned to face the wall again. "I'm not going anymore." I mumbled.

I heard her exasperated sigh. "Okay, I understand that you're getting cold feet. I mean, why would you want to go back to the place where your so-called soul mate cheated on you? But it is the night before you're supposed to leave. You cannot back out now. Can you imagine how crushed Emily would be? And how can you deny Paul the chance to spend an entire week with you? Honey, that boy worships the ground you walk on."

"I know, okay?" I sighed. "I'm not going to back out. But just the idea of packing makes everything all too real. These past few days it has been so easy to pretend that I'm not actually going. But… I am." I looked at her sympathetic smile. "What am I going to do?"

"You're going to walk down that aisle with your head held high and you're going to shake that great ass and let everyone know that Kimberly Spencer is doing just fine."

"But they know that I'm not." I said sadly. "Anyone who can see into Paul's head knows that I'm not doing just fine."

She put her warm hands on my face. "So you make them doubt it." After a second, I nod and she smiles happily. "Perfect. Okay, now for the packing part. Do you have any cute underwear? I'm thinking lacy black thong." At my look, she shrugs. "What? Who knows if you're going to end up having slutty wedding sex?"

"Slutty wedding sex?" I ask her skeptically. "There's no one there that I'm going to be having slutty wedding sex with."

She shakes her head. "You never know. That's why it's called slutty. If you planned it, well that wouldn't be slutty at all would it?"

I just stare at her. "You're impossible."

"Judge me now, thank me later." She says as she throws a pair of underwear to her exact description into my suitcase. "Okay, now you definitely need to bring that pair of dark wash booty shorts and some tops that show off your cleavage. Also, bring your bathing suit so you can strut around outside in just the top."

I knew better than to argue with her, so I just nodded and agreed with whatever she said.

We were finally done around two, after rechecking my packing list and realizing we had forgotten to pack my dress that was hanging in the closet. I had to get up to shower in just two hours so I had decided that I would just sleep in the car.

Ellie, bless her heart, stayed with me the rest of the night. And when my alarm rang at four, she wrapped me up in a hug. "I promise you, everything will be okay. I'll call you every day."

I smiled weakly. "Love you El."

"I love you too, Kimmy." She smiled and blew me a kiss as she walked out the front door.

I made my way upstairs and jumped in the shower, letting the hot water run over my body for a few minutes before actually washing myself off. It was the first time my brain had relaxed and stopped worrying for about twelve hours, so I relished in it as I rinsed myself.

I blow dried my hair and made it pin straight before putting on just a touch of makeup so that it wouldn't look like I was trying too hard. The morning air was chilly, so I wore leggings and boots with a jean jacket.

By that time, my mother and aunt were dragging themselves out of bed to wish me both goodbye and good luck. When Paul knocked on the door, I was alone and trying to control the hammering in my heart. "Ready to go?" He said perkily, even though I know he probably hadn't slept either. He grabbed both of my bags and headed out to the truck and I locked the door behind me.

I got into the passenger's side and reached into my purse. "I have something for you." I said as Paul got into the truck. And then I handed him a stick of beef jerky.

"Beef jerky! You're the best Kim!" He exclaimed, tearing open the package and shoving the stick into his mouth.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "A little excited about beef jerky, eh?"

"Rachel and Emily packed me a bunch of snacks to eat, but I finished them in like the first half an hour." He sad.

I just sighed. "Of course you did."

I rested my head against the window and tried fitfully to keep up a conversation with Paul. However, somewhere in the midst of Paul bragging about how hot he looks in his tux, I fell asleep.

I didn't wake up until we stopped at a gas station for food and a restroom break and I managed to stay awake until we hit Seattle. Paul, feeling sorry for me, turned down the radio. "Go ahead and sleep, Kim. I doubt you got any last night. I'll wake you when we're almost there."

And so I did. It was easier to fall asleep and not think about it than to obsess and freak out about it the whole way there.

However, when Paul shook my shoulder to wake me up when we hit the La Push border, I could feel my heart sinking into my stomach. He gave me a stern look. "Kim, I can hear your heart hammering out of your chest. If I can hear it, everyone else can too. Just take a moment and take some deep breaths okay?"

I flushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Jared, although it may seem like it, is not a complete idiot. He knows how bad he hurt you and he's not going to do something stupid again. Sam won't let him and neither will I."

"Okay." I said, nodding at him and taking a few more breaths. "I think I'm okay now."

"Well I hope so, because we're here." He announced, shutting off the engine. I stared up at the small, unfamiliar house. Paul's house had red paneling and a front porch that looked like it was going to fall apart. But I didn't care. I could have stayed with my brother, but I chose to stay here. I knew it made Paul happy.

He brought my bags upstairs to his extra room and left me alone for about an hour so that I could unpack my things and get my bearings together after our long car trip.

When I came back downstairs, feeling refreshed, I had company. I tried to stay calm, but I couldn't keep the stupid grin off my face. "Well, well, well…" Quil says. "Look what the cat dragged in. Or the wolf, I should say."

"Of course you're the first person I see when I come back." I tease him back, although I'm still smiling so he can tell I don't mean it. Before I can say anything else, he steps forwards and sweeps me into a bone-crushing hug. I stumble a bit when he puts me back on the ground. "It's good to see you."

"It's great to see you. Claire is so excited to see you again. Don't tell her I said this, but I don't really think she actually remembers you; she's just pretending to be excited so she fits in when Emily talks about you. Seriously, it's kind of cute." By the look on his face, I know he thinks it's more than just kind of cute, but I don't say anything. "She's in the other room with Rachel. I think she got roped into playing Barbie."

I follow him into the living room, where Rachel sits with Claire, who has definitely gotten bigger. Her hair is in a long braid down her back and her eyes are more focused on what she's doing. When she spots us, she forgets what she's doing and runs over to Quil, who pulls her up into his arms without even thinking about it. She's looking at me, and I smile as she leans up to whisper in Quil's ear. "Is that her?" I hear, as Claire really doesn't know how to whisper.

Quil makes the effort to whisper back. "That's her." And then he raises his voice. "Claire, this is Kim. You've met her before. She played Barbies with you a long time ago, you were only two."

She straightens up. "Well, I'm not two anymore. I'm four." She tells me matter-of-factly. "I'm starting kindergarten this year."

"Wow." I say in amazement. "Wanna know a secret?" She nods and I lean over towards her ear. "I just finished school."

Her eyes bug out. "Forever?"

I shrug. "Maybe, who knows? Next year I might decide to go to college."

Quil looks at me funny. "You didn't apply this year? Why not? I know you have the grades for it."

"Nah, I decided to take a year off. I mean, I'm not sure what I'm going to do considering Ellie is going to school at Berkeley for Film studies. Maybe I'll just work full time for the year or maybe I'll travel." And then I sigh, because thinking about next year without Ellie or any friends really gets me down. "I don't know yet. And I don't really want to talk about it."

He looks like he's disappointed in me, and I know he thinks of me as a little sister, especially because he sees me in Paul's head all the time, but I bite back my snide remark about him not being the boss of me, and I turn to Claire. "You babysitting?"

He nods. "Emily's sister is down for the week as well, but she's helping Emily plan the wedding, so I'm watching this one for her. Her sister is older and more interested in trying to help, but Claire here just gets in the way."

She narrows her eyes. "Hey! I do not!"

He looks at her fondly. "I love you Claire, but you are a little crazy sometimes." And then he sets her on her feet and she runs back off to where her dolls were.

Quil takes Rachel's place as designated doll player and she comes over to give me a warm hug. "I'm about to head over to Emily's. Do you want to come?" She asks.

I hesitate. "Um… I'm not sure that I'm ready yet." I say honestly.

She nods. "Okay, but you can't hide forever. You're already here." But she smiles kindly, says goodbye and heads out the door just as Paul comes back through the door.

"Quil, pack meeting." He says shortly.

Both his and Claire's heads shoot up and she unconsciously clings to his arm. "What about …" And he subtly gestures to her.

"I'll watch her." I volunteer. "I'll take her down to the beach. I haven't been in a long time. Whaddaya say Claire? Sound like fun?"

She seems hesitant to let go of her werewolf but eventually I convince her that we're going to have a great time and the two of us stroll hand in hand down the beach after I change. It's gotten warmer out today, so I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt now as Claire fumbles along next to me in her capris and striped shirt. "Can we search for stones?" She asks me. "Quil and Uncle Jacob always take me to look for stones."

"Sure, Claire." I agree, happy that she has something she wants to do. "I bet you I can find a green one first."

"Deal!" She exclaims, and charges full force towards the shore. I run after her, just to make sure that she doesn't fall in the water, get pneumonia and end up in the hospital, as I die a horrible death from Quil.

After she's successfully found about six green rocks, she stops to take a break. I sit next to her in the sand and she looks at me. "Can I ask you a question? Promise you won't tell Quil?"

I look at her, concerned. "What's up Claire?"

She looks away guiltily. "Do you still love Uncle Jared?" She whispers. "Everyone made me promise not to mention him in front of you, but he's so sad. And he loves you like Quil loves me and I tried real hard not to love Quil, especially when he wouldn't let me get ice cream, but I couldn't. So, you still love him right?"

I just looked at her, trying to figure out if she was actually only four, and trying to stop myself from letting myself feel everything that I had stored away over the last year. "It's more complicated than that."

"But why?" She asks innocently.

"Because sometimes you can be in love, but the person that you love hurts you very badly. And then you're too afraid to love them anymore, because you don't want to feel hurt anymore."

"But Aunt Kim," She says, and I realize that she called me Aunt just like she called Jacob and Jared her uncles, and I realize she considers me family. "Uncle Jared is really sorry and he's really sad. And if you love him, you can forgive him and then he won't want to be sad anymore, so he won't hurt you."

I laugh in spite of myself. "Have you ever thought of being a psychologist, Claire?"

She furrows her little eyebrows. "What's a sycocghist?"

I laugh again, the moment over. "Never mind, honey. Go play okay? We're going to head back in five minutes."

"Okay!" She exclaims and she runs over to the grainy sand where she had been making a lump that she called a sandcastle. I let myself relax and feel the sun against my skin, until I hear her scurry up and take off.

I don't make it to her before she falls on the stones, but I'm there when she starts to cry and the little bit of blood on her cut trickles off of her shin. "Shh, it's okay. It's just a little scrape." I reassure her. "Come on, let's go get this cleaned up." I lift her into my arms. "Why were you running, Claire?"

She stops blubbering enough to point in a direction. I look up to see three large figures coming across the beach. One I know for sure is Quil, because he had broken into a run once he saw Claire fall. The other two I have to squint to make them out, especially because they all look so similar.

My heart stops as I push up my sunglasses and make eye contact with one of them.

Jared.