Summary of Events: After the War Council, the Akatsuki are splitting ways. Hannah, Zetsu, Kakuzu, Itachi, and Tobi are staying in Suna. Leader, Kisame, Kate, and Konan are going to Konoha. And Hidan, Deidara, and Dessie are going into Wargonia to blow up the Wargonians' power source.

Chapter Seventy-One: Infiltrating Home

Rule Number Seventy-One: Don't try to explain concern to an S-ranked criminal

Kate

I peeked through the leaves of the three out at the hideout. The masses of Wargonians troops have grown. They have become a force to be reckoned with. Tents upon tents lined up with gray-skinned, white-haired men walking about, talking, laughing, and eating. The last time I was here, the Wargonian troops numbered somewhere in the thousands, now they were some ten times that.

"We have to sneak past that?" asked Deidara incredulously.

"Yep."

Deidara snorted. "No wonder Tsuande, Kakashi, and Naruto ran on ahead – those cowards."

Sakura rounded on him angrily, drawing back her fist as if to hit him. I cringed, but Gai stopped Sakura from hitting Deidara (not that she could have) and instead turned her focus to the task at hand.

"We can disguise ourselves…" said Gai, but that will only get us so far."

Dessie snorted. "You can disguise yourself. I'm not a shinobi and neither is Kate."

"Kate doesn't have to sneak in," pointed Kisame. "You do."

"We can overcome that," said Leader simply. "Deidara and Dessie will go by air. Hidan, Gai, Sakura, Neji, Temari, and Suigetsu… Temari, Gai, and Neji will disguise themselves as Wargonians. Suigetsu can travel by water – which will get him close to the hideout. Hidan..."

"Yeah, yeah…" he muttered. "Charge in head first and try not to end up decapitated."

"No. We want to use as much stealth as possible. I want you to disguise yourself too. Sakura will travel by bird with Deidara and Dessie. The bird is disguisable as natural."

Gai nodded. "Alright, that is a youthful plan. Normally, it is not youthful to be stealthy, but you can pull it off."

Leader ignored him. "Kisame, Konan, and I will be back up."

Dessie rolled her eyes. "Especially since none of the Konoha people – except those on the mission – all fled."

"We do have a homeland to defend!" snapped Sakura. "Weren't all the Akatsuki members, um, kicked out of their homelands?"

I sighed heavily and rested a hand on Sakura's shoulder. She pushed my hand away and turned to glare at me. I ignored her glare and said, softly, "That is our homeland." I waved my hand at the masses of Wargonian troops surrounding the hideout. "And now we're trying to help your homeland from ending up the same way."

There was a pause. Sakura's glare faded slightly.

Suddenly, a muscular arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me backwards. I looked up to see Kisame's grinning face above me. "That's my girl," he said. "Don't mess with her – she's use reason and emotion to win you over." He cracked up.

"Careful now," said Konan. "Any more teasing and you'll find yourself dumped."

"You're dating?" asked Neji incredulously.

"Yeah," said Kisame, suddenly defensive. "What's it to you?"

"Aren't you old enough to be her grandfather?" asked Gai. "That's not very youthful."

"Will you shut up about youth, uhn?" asked Deidara angrily.

"It's only twelve years difference!" I cried. "People used to marry much older men – and it's very youthful!"

"Uhn."

"Don't you go being like Itachi," snapped Kisame. "It's not youthful or artistic."

"Now that," said Deidara. "I can understand, uhn."

"Alright," said Dessie. "Enough insults. Time to go infiltrate our home."

I remained sitting in the tree, watching hesitantly as the plan too action. Kisame sat beside me, watching with equal interest. However, unlike me, Kisame's interest came from excitement and jealousy – where as I was just plan terrified. Not for myself, but for my friends.

The first part of the plan seemed to be going well. A group of four Wargonians (or so it seemed) made their way to camp. A giant white bird flew over head, hiding Deidara, Dessie, and Sakura from view.

From what I could see, Deidara allowed Dessie to hold on to his shoulder so that she couldn't fall. Sakura, however, he forced to stand at the back of the bird and rely on her own chakra to hold on. Dessie and Deidara seemed to be holding a conversation, both of them laughing, while Sakura looked as though she wanted to jump off the back of the bird, never mind the mission. I had the sneaking suspicion that Dessie and Deidara were joking about just that.

"Do you see Suigetsu?" I asked.

Kisame pointed down. "There's a pond by the hideout, remember?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"He's waiting there. When the others drop by, he'll join their party disguised as a Wargonian."

"Oh. Fun…"

Kisame grinned. "Of course." He caught sight of my worried expression and took my hand in his, still grinning. "Don't worry. They'll have fun with this – not everyone is as easily scared as you."

"Remember what I said about dumping," said Konan.

"Heard you loud and clear the first time, Konan," said Kisame. He gave my hand a squeeze. "Right, Kate?"

Mutely, I nodded.

"Something's going on down in the camp…"

I glanced at Leader, and then back at the camp. Several Wargonians were talking to Gai, Neji, Temari, and Hidan. I couldn't hear what they were arguing about, but Gai wasn't happy.

Deidara dipped his bird closer, straining to hear what was being said.

"Should we help them?" I asked timidly.

"Not yet," said Leader. "Deidara will signal me if they need backup."

I leaned forward, still clinging to Kisame's hand, and stared out at the Wargonian camp. The argument between Gai and the Wargonians had heated up and Hidan stepped in – whenever Hidan steps in, bad things are sure to happen. One of the Wargonians threw a punch and suddenly the disguises were wrecked. Gai, Hidan, Temari, and Neji all appeared at once, in their normal forms.

Sakura screamed something at them – probably "Run!"

There was an explosion and several Wargonians' heads went flying.

All hell broke loose down in the camp. Suigetsu leapt out of his pool and began taking off limbs, heads, eyes, ears, and anything else his sword could touch. Deidara set of bombs like crazy, sending the enemy into crazed turmoil. As Temari blew them all away, Gai's speed combined with Neji's jutsus - throw in the an immortal Hidan and it was a pure chaotic hell down there.

"We should do something," I said.

"Deidara hasn't given the signal," said Leader. "They're fine. We're here only if there is a major emergency."

I gritted my teeth and turned back to watch.

Sakura had fallen off the bird and was now punching every Wargonia she could get her hands on. Dessie and Deidara continued to fly above, bombing the Wargonians –

Arrow fire… The Wargonians were firing at Dessie and Deidara. Deidara's bird managed to dodge most of the arrows, but one struck Dessie in the shoulder. She let out a cry of pain and toppled backwards off the bird.

I gasped.

She was caught by Hidan inches from the ground. He said something and she replied.

Gai shouted at the top of his lungs and suddenly the entire party was running in the direction of the hideout with Deidara and his gigantic bird swooping over head. Everyone rushed inside, and Deidara hopped off his bird and sprinted into the building, blowing up the bird as he went inside.

I couldn't see what was going on for several minutes. Wargonians were running inside, and then… Everything was on fire.

I gasped. "They're burning down the hideout!"

"Come on!" cried Kisame. "Kakuzu's going to kill us… You know how much we paid for that stupid hideout…"

"Can't we just kill the guys who sold it to us?" Konan asked. "And then get our money back?"

"Oh yeah…"

"The hideout is on fire!" I screamed. "And everyone is inside!"

Kisame clamped a hand over my mouth. "Calm down, Kate. Remember, we are hiding from the Wargonians. Don't worry. Hidan's immortal and do you really think he'd let Dessie die? And Deidara's a pyromaniac, he's probably ranting about what a beautiful explosion that was…"

I pried Kisame's hand off my mouth and managed a weak smile. "Yeah… But what about everyone else?"

"…What about them?"

"What if they die?"

Kisame still looked puzzled. "Then they die… Are you trying to be like Hidan and Dessie and have a religion?"

"…Never mind."

"Okay…"

Rule Number Seventy-One: Never try to explain concern and worry to an S-ranked criminal – he just won't understand.

"Kisame! Kate!"

My head jerked up, just in time to see a Wargonian jumping at us. I screamed, and covered my head, while Kisame whipped out his sword and blocked the Wargonian's attack. The Wargonian leapt away before Kisame could counter attack.

Konan leapt across the tree and formed a sword out of paper. The Wargonian swung his glaive around, but Kisame blocked it with his sword. Konan charged and – before the Wargonian could defend himself – Konan slashed him through the middle. I watched, in wide-eyed horror, as the Wargonian toppled over and feel from the tree branch, stone dead.

"We need a new hiding spot," said Leader.

Konan nodded and the two hurried away. Kisame lifted me onto his back and carried me. We reached the rendezvous point and waited. We couldn't see what was going on at the camp any more. It made me more nervous. Kisame placed me on the ground beneath the branches of a large oak tree. He gave me a quick hug and turned away, embarrassed (a frightening shark-man criminal should not be seen tenderly hugging his girlfriend).

"You think they're okay…?" I asked.

Neither Leader nor Konan reply. Kisame, however, lied as necessary.

We waited in silence. A whole ten minutes ticked by and no one showed up. My heart pounded wildly. Were they dead or alive… Did they all make it to Wargonia? Perhaps that's why they haven't shown up…

"Ten more minutes," said Leader. "Then we're going."

"Going where, you shithead of a Leader?"

My heart leapt as I turned to see who had made it to the rendezvous point. Hidan stood, his body completely soaked in blood and several nasty cuts healing at a rapid pace. Behind him, Temari hobbled along, supporting a blood-soaked Neji.

"He's alive," observed Leader.

"Of course," said Hidan. "Otherwise we would have left the asshole to rot. I wanted to leave him anyways but she," Hidan jerked a thumb in the direction of Temari, "Wouldn't let me. The bitch."

"What about everyone else?" I asked desperately.

Hidan nodded. "The shitheads made it. All alive – even the bastards from Konoha. And in near one piece."

"Dessie's fine?"

"Duh."

I sighed in relief. "So that's done then…"

"We need to get back to Konoha," said Temari. "He'll die if we don't hurry."

"And we have one hell of an army chasing after us," added Hidan.

Leader nodded. Once again, Kisame lifted me onto his back and we were all running through the forest again in the direction of Konoha. Hidan caught up beside us, his wounds almost fully healed now. He grinned in my direction and said, "You still freaking out?"

"I will always be freaking out…" I muttered.

"Don't worry… Dessie's as kickass as always."

Kisame grinned and shifted me on his back. "So you're definitely in love with her then?"

"No, asshole. I'm not."

"You are."

"Shut up. I'm not."

"Liar."

Hidan drew his scythe, preparing to strike Kisame dead with it. However, Kisame dodged quickly and Hidan put the scythe away.

We continued in the direction of Konoha, and could only hope that Konoha was ready for the war it was about to encounter. Already in my mind I could see masses of Wargonians running through the village as the light of Wargonia glowed ever brighter. Yeah, our survival sort of depended on Dessie and Deidara succeeding.

"Oh Warg…" I groaned. "We're in trouble…"

"What?" asked Kisame.

"Our survival depends on the success of Dessie and Deidara…"

"We're screwed," said Hidan

Kisame screamed.