"It's just suspicious," Jazz whispered, voice low. She didn't expect to be overheard, despite the crowded hallway. Some kind of craze had come upon the students, recently, and suddenly everyone was obsessed with music from some artist named Ember.

And, well. She had dealt with enough ghosts and ghostly business to consider that reason for wariness.

"It's possible," Sidney acknowledged, speaking through the mirror—even with everyone so distracted, she didn't want to make it too obvious who she was talking to. "I don't recognize the name, but I can't say I know every ghost around."

"I don't expect you to." Jazz sighed, tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear. "It's just… not ideal."

"What isn't?" a sharp voice suddenly asked, and Jazz straightened automatically. Valerie.

"Nothing," she quickly assured, turning around to face Valerie. "It's nothing, Valerie."

The other girl shot her a skeptical look. It didn't last long however, as Valerie's eyes suddenly widened, and, oh, yeah.

Sidney.

"Jazz," Valerie hissed, turning furious eyes back to her, "I thought you hated ghosts! I thought you agreed with me and your parents!"

She scoffed. "My parents aren't always right, Valerie."

Valerie eyed her for a moment longer, clearly suspicious. "I thought you were talking to yourself. Thought that was kinda weird."

"Mh. I was talking to Sidney." Jazz gestured at the mirror again, looking from the corner of her eye to make sure he was still there. "But, speaking of weird, what do you think of the sudden musical craze happening?"

"What, with everyone suddenly going crazy over that girl? Ember whatever?" Valerie continued to squint suspiciously, but she was clever. Jazz could see the gears turning in her head. "You were talking about that?"

"Jazz thinks that ghosts might be involved," Sidney explained, clearly uncertain but willing to go along with Jazz. "It's certainly possible. Ghost powers are highly varied, but brainwashing anyone who is exposed to one's music? It is absolutely in the realm of possibility."

"It is pretty suspicious," Valerie allowed, inclining her head a little. She didn't stop squinting at Jazz. "You don't know who's responsible for it?"

"It seems likely that the singer is a ghost. Ember McClain, I believe." Jazz leaned against the edge of her locker, keeping an eye on both Sidney and Valerie. "Sidney hadn't heard of her before, but there's tons of ghosts in the Zone, so it's definitely possible that he just missed her."

Valerie nodded, her mouth tight and grim. "That's… good to know. I guess I'll have to avoid her—and her music."

"I was planning on looking at my parents' inventions, see if they have anything that can be used to block the brainwashing effect." Or, well. She was going to ask Phantom if he was familiar with Ember, and if yes, how to break her power's effect. But that might involve some Fenton invention, so. It was basically the same, right?

"Just… be careful," Sidney urged her from the other side of the mirror. "And stay safe, Jazz."

"I will, Sid, I promise." She shot him a—hopefully comforting—grin. "You stay out of trouble, too."

He nodded, and his image faded away. The mirror's surface returned to its normal reflective state.

"Let's get lunch," Valerie said, voice terse. "Somewhere private."

"Sounds good," Jazz agreed.

The silence that fell lasted all the way until they sat down outside. The weather was getting better, but no one else had chosen to go out. Maybe they were all obsessing about Ember inside?

"So," Valerie said, then stopped. Her shoulders were still tight, muscles tensed.

"So," Jazz repeated, idly pushing her lunch around. "Look, Valerie. I know I've been teaching you about ghosts based on my parents' expertise, but they're not perfect. They don't know everything."

"And you do?" she asked, skeptically. "It's not like they've been doing this for forever or anything."

Jazz rolled her eyes. "I'm not saying that either. But… my parents decided, before they ever met ghosts, that they were all bad, all malevolent and unthinking. And every ghost they've heard about since? They've just twisted what they see to fit what they decide was the truth. They're biased, and that's not good. It's unscientific."

"Yes, because ghosts are so scientific." Valerie shook her head, taking a bite of her own lunch. Cheap cafeteria food—not enough to keep up with her teenage metabolism, not with how active Val was as the Red Huntress.

"Fair enough," she allowed, taking a bite of her own sandwich. "But, really. Not all ghosts are as bad as my parents suggest. Sidney, you've probably heard of? Fighting off bullies to protect their victims. That's not bad, is it?"

"Could be fighting for the sake of fighting," Valerie protested. "Building up a reputation by playing a guardian angel, and then, bam! He turns against us."

She shook her head. "He wouldn't. I know him."

"Yeah, well." Valerie gestured wildly. "There are plenty of other ghosts out there, all clearly malevolent. I mean, that dog ghost that attacked Axion Labs, that ruined mine and my dad's lives?"

"It probably hadn't meant to do any of that, Valerie." Jazz softened a little, trying for a comforting tone. "It was a dog. It probably didn't know any better."

"So? Just because it's an animal means that it should be allowed to run free? To cause trouble?"

"I didn't say that," she bit back, trying not to sound overly defensive. "It shouldn't run around free, not if it's just an animal. Someone should've stopped it. And who knows? Maybe they tried? We don't know, do we?"

"What, someone like— like Specter and Phantom?" Valerie scoffed. "Please. Those two are sketchy as all hell."

Were they? She supposed that they weren't seen all that much, but still… "I don't know, Val. I think they're just trying to help."

Valerie snorted dismissively. "Oh, please. They're just doing cutesie dates in the human world, beating up their fellow ghosts. There's nothing dependable about those two."

Jazz felt her mind grind to a halt. "Dates?" she repeated incredulously. "Like… couple dates?"

"Uh, yeah?" Valerie raised a questioning eyebrow. "Come on, you can't have missed it. Those two are close as anything, and everyone knows that ghosts don't keep memories of their life, so they can't be related. Therefore, they must be dating. Plus, they even look like they're close to each other's ages. Bonus."

Jazz made a face, but she supposed Valerie had a point. As much as she hated it, the thought that people thought she and her brother—an alternate version of her brother—were dating… she couldn't deny it, not as Jazz Fenton. She would have to talk it through with Phantom. Make sure that it become clear that they were, in fact, siblings.

Ugh. She'd heard a few vague rumors about it before, but she hadn't realized it was this big. Now it was a whole thing.

"I guess," she settled on, but she knew she'd been silent too long. Valerie raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment.

They ate the rest of their lunches in silence.

"They think we're what?! Yuck." Phantom made a disgusted face, his green tongue poking out. "Seriously, urk."

"Yeah, no kidding." Jazz shivered, a little overdramatic to match with Phantom. "We need to dissuade those rumors."

"Definitely." Phantom shook his head, pushing one gloved hand through his hair. "Yikes. I mean, how did you even find out about that?"

"Valerie and I were talking about ghosts earlier," Jazz explained, shrugging at Phantom's incredulous look. "We were talking about ghosts that might be good, and she said that people thought our ghost fights were, like, dates. Apparently those rumors are kinda popular. Or, well, were. Everyone's crazy about that one musician now."

Phantom frowned. "Ember? That's now?"

"So we were right?" Jazz wasn't sure to cheer or to be disappointed that it was another major ghost attack. "Ember McClain is a ghost?"

"Yeah." Phantom sighed, deep and heavy. "She brainwashes people to adore her, and that obsession strengthens her."

He paused for a moment, then turned his head towards her, abruptly. "Wait. We?"

She shrugged again. "Me, Sidney, and Valerie were talking about it. Or, well. Sidney and I were talking about it, and Valerie dropped in without either of us noticing."

Phantom made a face. "Well, that explains why the two of you were talking about ghosts. How'd she take it?"

"Not brilliantly," Jazz admitted. "She thinks Sidney is tricking us into believing him to be nice, and like I said, she thinks that Specter and Phantom are only fighting ghosts as dates. But she listened to me explain, at least."

"Still better than my Red, to be honest." He scratched the back of his neck, a gesture of nervousness she could recognize as Danny's from miles away. She wondered how that hadn't given him away yet. "She took a while longer to even consider listening."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it." Jazz sighed, tucking away a strand of hair. "But, Ember? What's our plan?"

"We'll have to wait." Phantom crossed his arms, standing up to his full length. "She gets stronger when people chant for her. With the amount of people going crazy for her now, we don't stand a chance. We'll have to break the obsession first."

"Okay? So how are we going to do that?"

Phantom rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitched up in what was unmistakably a smile. "Impatient, are you? Anyway, she should be dropping by sometime soon. Doing an impromptu show at the school. In my universe, Tucker did a bad rendition of her song, which broke the obsession. I'm not gonna subject this universe's Tucker to the same, so I'll do it myself. After that, it shouldn't be too difficult to beat her, not with the two of us."

She nodded. "Anything we need? Some kind of gadgets that will protect us, or Valerie?"

"Uh… Oh, yeah, actually. In my universe my parents had just invented some kind of earpieces. They were supposed to filter out spectral noise, but you can use them to communicate over longer distances as well. If you can snatch some of those, that would be super convenient. We should be safe from the regular musical brainwashing Ember can do, thanks to our half-ghost-ness, but direct attacks from her guitar can still get us."

"Alright, I'll look into those then." She hoped they existed in this universe too. Sounded convenient. "So. Those earpieces, and then we wait? Do you know how long?"

He shrugged, looking apologetic. "No clue. Sorry, Jazz. I'll hang out near Casper High so I'll notice if she's there. Don't worry about your ghost sense, you'll know when she's there."

"Well, if you're sure." She nodded, again. "I'll get going, then. See you soon, Phantom."

A strum of loud music broke the quiet of the classroom. The other students started screaming, rushed out of the classroom like their lives depended on it.

Through the chaos, Jazz caught Valerie's look and nodded. They got up, followed the rest outside.

Jazz' core stirred as they ran through the hallways, and she turned her head away to hide it from Valerie. When she turned back, Sidney had joined them, flying along.

They burst through the doors, stopping on the top step in front of the school. All other students had formed an enormous crowd, almost entirely black and blue, like an incomprehensible mass. And there, parked in front of them all, stood a giant podium.

"Fuck," Valerie swore, eyes locked on the musician that stood on the foreground of the stage. Pale skin, shredded and punky black clothes, and blue hair that flared like fire.

Really, how had no one else figured out that Ember McClain was a ghost if her hair did that?

"Well, at least she's obvious about it?" Sidney said. He grimaced. "I'm not gonna be any help here. I'll have to leave, sorry."

Valerie made a face, but nodded at Jazz. "I have to go too. Stay safe, Jazz."

"You too, Val. And—" she held out her hand, revealing two shiny chrome earpieces. Fenton Phones. "Please wear these. They should block the worst of Ember's brainwashing power."

The other girl took them with a grateful expression. "Thanks. Make sure to wear some yourself, too."

"Yeah, of course," Jazz assured her, even as Valerie raced down the steps. She wouldn't. There was no point, not now. But Valerie didn't need to know that.

She glanced around, confirming that the immediate area was void of watchers. There were plenty of people, sure, but they were all focused on the stage, and on Ember.

Her core stirred to life, light flashing as she shifted to her ghost form. From there, it was a short burst of power to bring her to the roof of Casper High, where Phantom was waiting.

"So, the plan?" Jazz asked, touching down on the edge of the roof. She kept her eyes on Ember.

"You distract her, I'll grab the microphone and break the obsession. After that, we should be able to take her out without too much trouble. She's a decent fighter, and you'll need to keep an eye on her guitar, but she's no Spectra."

"Gotcha." Jazz nodded, lowering herself in a crouch. "Ready?"

Rather than answer, Phantom shot himself off of the roof. Jazz rolled her eyes but followed him with a burst of speed of her own.

Phantom dove right past Ember, but she pulled the mike away before he could reach for it. She sung on, steady and unwavering.

Alright, Jazz could admit that that was pretty impressive.

Still, she had a job to do. She followed Phantom's example, diving low over the crowd. Rather than dart right past Ember, she raised herself earlier, extending a threatening hand coated in golden ectoplasm at her.

Ember snarled back, her hair flaring, but her song remained uninterrupted.

Black and white streaked past Ember's other side, blue light flashing as Phantom froze the podium where he passed it.

And then, just when Jazz was preparing herself for another dive, a bolt of pink ectoplasm whizzed by her. She turned her head to gaze up, staring straight at Valerie.

She rose to up Valerie's height, Phantom twirling around her. Valerie shifted on her board, like she scoffed, but she did lower her gun, so. Small victories.

"What?" she snapped at the two of them when they evened out with her. "Is shooting her a no-go or something?"

"Kind of," Phantom explained, ignoring Valerie's vicious tone. "She gets stronger when people say her name, especially if they chant it, when they're obsessed by her. We need to break everyone's trance, first, or else she'll shrug off everything we can throw at her."

Valerie scoffed. "And how do you plan on achieving that?"

"I need her microphone. I'll do a terrible rendition of her song, and that'll make people lose interest." Phantom shrugged at Valerie's incredulous look. "Trust me, I can produce some awful noises. It'll work."

"Ugh." Valerie shook her head, then nodded. "Fine, whatever. I don't trust either of you, but fine. I know which ghost here takes priority."

Jazz shot her a brilliant smile, but Valerie seemed to ignore it. Hard to tell, with the mask she was wearing.

"Good. In that case, why don't you take crowd control?" Phantom gestured at the enormous mass of humans below them. "Ember can force her adoring fans to do anything she wants them to. She might turn them against other humans, or attack them directly. You protect them, keep them safe, and we'll deal with Ember."

Valerie cocked her head, giving the impression that she was squinting at Phantom, but eventually she nodded. "Yeah, sure. Whatever. But I'm keeping an eye on you two."

"That's fair," Jazz acknowledged with a loose shrug. She nodded at Phantom, who grinned back.

In almost perfect sync, they dove back down again. Phantom quickly overtook her, corkscrewing past Ember's front. Ice crystals spiked from the podium's edge, drawing excited yells from the public—they must've thought it was some kind of neat effect.

Hell, how much of this were they even noticing? That was a terrifying thought, that they didn't even realize the kind of danger they were in.

Jazz dove past Ember's back, discharging an ectoblast against her bare back. Ember stumbled forward, slipping on the ice that Phantom had left. She yelped, barely catching herself before she fell.

She had let go of the microphone.

Phantom had turned around in no-time, already speeding back. Ember's eyes darted up to him, one hand flying out to grab the mike before he could.

Too slow.

The blur of black and white turned in its spot, going from horizontal to vertical like it was nothing. A decent height above the stage he stopped, the microphone held in his clenched fist.

"Hey, Amity," he said into it. His voice crackled, the sound more echo-y and staticky than normal. "This one's for all of you great folks."

He winked, and Jazz knew she should be paying attention to the fight, but— but she had so few chances to watch Phantom work his magic. Besides, Ember seemed to be distracted by him as well. She frowned up at him, teeth bared in a snarl.

And then Phantom did— something. She didn't know what, exactly. He just opened his mouth, the mike held before it, and made a noise— beyond description, really.

If she tried, she could almost make out words. But for the most part, it was a terrible sound, haunting and wailing and sharp and cutting. The sound installation couldn't handle it either, a layer of static and screeching feedback applied over the whole thing.

It certainly seemed to do the trick. Everyone in the audience screamed, clapping their hands over their ears. Valerie's head swirled towards Phantom, but she remained steady on her hoverboard. The earpieces must be filtering out Phantom's noise.

Ember screeched, or, well. She looked like she was snarling and screeching, but Jazz couldn't hear anything over Phantom's terrible wail.

Then, suddenly, it was over. The silence was loud in the absence of Phantom's song, and one by one, the audience lowered their hands again.

Valerie, the only one not distracted by Phantom, fired at Ember. A square hit, the ghost too occupied with her half-ghost opponents to notice the human hunter.

She stumbled on the stage, her eyes drawn towards Valerie, who had her gun raised and smoking. Ember's fingers tightened on the neck of her guitar, and she raised her other hand threateningly.

Jazz fired a blast of golden ectoplasm against Ember's back, then darted upwards before she could retaliate.

With Ember's attention on Jazz, Valerie fired another shot. And when Ember turned back to the human huntress, Jazz shot again. They exchanged a few shots in that manner, until suddenly, a blue vortex interrupted the volley.

Phantom hovered above them, the uncapped Thermos held in one hand, and the microphone in the other.

"Can't let you two have all the fun, can I?" he said, grinning a little. Valerie grumbled, but lowered her gun. She flew in closer, until all three of them hovered above the stage.

"You consider that fun, Phantom?" she asked sharply, jerking her head towards the Thermos he was capping.

He rolled his eyes. "It's a figure of speech, chill." He clicked the Thermos back on his belt, then held up the microphone to his mouth.

"While I'm holding this, I would like to publicly thank you for your help, huntress! So, thank you, for helping us protect Amity Park's citizens!"

Valerie grumbled under her breath, shooting Phantom something that was probably a venomous glare. "Yeah, well. I'll keep an eye on you two, too. Don't think that this means anything."

She shook her head, and the engines of her hoverboard roared to life. Apparently she had decided she couldn't shoot them in front of all these people, as she left without another word.

"And, on a final note," Phantom said, interrupting Jazz' train of thought, "Amity Park! As much as Specter and I enjoy your warm welcome, we would like to make a small note to your baseless rumors!"

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his side. "This fantastic girl here is Specter, as most of you know! What none of you seem to realize, however, is that she's my sister. We're not dating, we've never dated, and we never will date."

Jazz wrapped one gloved hand around the microphone, drawing it closer to herself. "Like Phantom said. Seriously, guys, we're siblings. Please stop saying we're dating, that's seriously uncomfortable."

"Yeah, anyway." Phantom cleared his throat, then let go of her to place the microphone back on the stage. "Thanks for listening, folks, and have a good day!"

"Ugh," Jazz grunted, dramatically draping herself over a rock. They were back in the woods for training, somewhere where Phantom could teach her about shields without Valerie interrupting.

"What's up?" he asked, humor in his voice. "Life getting you down?"

"It's no big deal," she said, straightening herself again. "It's just— this guy my brother is dating, you know? Something about him sets off alarm bells in my head, and I don't know what it is."

Phantom laughed. "That's fair. I can't say anything about your brother's tastes, but I know I have had some questionable dating experiences."

"Yeah?" She curled her legs underneath her, trying to find a comfortable spot to sit on the rock. "Come on, you can't reference poor dates and not tell me about them!"

"Oh?" He grinned back at her, one hand lighting up green. "How about this, then. You show me a good shield, and I'll tell you. Deal?"

"Deal!" She jumped to her feet, already pulling energy from her core. She got the principles already, how hard could it be to make an actual shield? It was just like an ectoblast, except she had to maintain it as a plane instead of firing it.

A ball of golden energy formed in her hands, and she poured in more and more energy. How much was enough?

Movement in the corner of her eye. She looked up, caught Phantom's smirk. He raised a green hand.

Uh oh.

She raised her arms in front of her head automatically, pushing the collected energy outwards. Her core churned in her chest. Her eyes were clenched close.

No impact came.

Jazz lowered her arms, hesitantly. Phantom stood in the same spot as before, grinning widely.

A wall of golden energy, wavering and transparent, separated them.

"Good job!" he complimented her, raising a thumb. "I knew you could do it!"

She laughed a little, incredulous. Raised one hand to touch the wall, her fingers barely grazing past it. It was— energy, really. The sensation wasn't one she could really describe. It was like energy underneath her finger, flexible and buzzing like static.

The ball of power burst like a bubble. Her core quietened, the strain of maintaining it finally gone.

"Nice," she said, quiet. Then she turned to Phantom, grinning again. "So, about our deal…"

He groaned, but the smile didn't leave his face. "Should've tempted you with embarrassing stories sooner. Urgh, alright." Phantom folded his legs underneath himself, sitting down in the air.

Jazz eyed him for a moment, but, well. It did look more comfortable than the rock she sat on earlier. How hard could it really be?

She tugged on her core, activating her flight. Hovering just above the ground, she pulled her legs underneath herself as well, until she was in a sitting position.

Phantom waited until she was still, then nodded. "Right, so. My poor dating choices. There's really only two, but they were pretty bold. Sam and Tucker hated me for the second one, too. Chronological order?"

"Sounds good. Save the best for last." She grinned at him, and he stuck out his tongue, childishly.

"Okay, so. Technically this one is in two parts. My first dating experience in high school was Paulina. First, I asked her to that party all the way at the start of the year. But Dora's necklace had slipped into my bag, and I didn't recognize it, so when Paulina asked about it I pretended it was a gift for her. She agreed to be my date, and wore the necklace to the dance."

"Oh no," Jazz said, but she couldn't hold back her laughter. "How did that go?"

"Well…" He laughed. "It was a whole thing, but she ended up passing the thing to Sam when she found out she wasn't making Sam jealous by 'stealing' me. Sam got pissed at Paulina for being shallow, and she had the necklace, and, well. You can guess how that went."

"Oh my god, did you fight a draconic version of Sam?" Now Jazz really couldn't hold back her laughter, giggling. "Danny, that's awful."

"Yeah, well. That wasn't the end of it." He shook his head, a self-deprecating smile on his face. "So, after that disaster I figured my chances with Paulina were ruined forever. When Phantom became well-known, she started making heart-eyes at him, though. I started wondering what she would think if she found out that he and I were the same person. And then, I found out!"

Jazz gaped at him for a long moment before Phantom continued talking.

"I had just fought off this ghost, and I shifted back to human form, thinking that everyone had fled. But apparently I was wrong, because there was Paulina. And she was so excited! She promised to keep my secret, and we started dating, and it was great!"

"So how was that a bad dating experience?" Jazz asked, quirking one eyebrow. "Besides her discovering your half-ghost nature, and she didn't even spill that secret. Did she?"

"Ha, no!" He shook his head, still grinning. "It was pretty nice while it lasted. But I discovered that apparently it wasn't Paulina, not really. She was overshadowed by a ghost, and the only reason she was dating me was to make her actual boyfriend jealous."

She flinched. "Uh, yikes. How could you possibly have found a worse dating experience?"

"I'm glad you asked!" Phantom clapped his hands together, clearly excited. "So, as you know, Valerie Gray absolutely hated the guts of Phantom in my universe, yes?"

"Oh, Danny, no," Jazz said, already knowing where this was going.

"Yep!" he said, grinning manically. "My half-ghost ass decided that dating Valerie Gray, dangerous ghost huntress with a vendetta against my ghost form, was a good idea. And I still maintain that Val was great, and she was lovely as a partner."

"How did that even end?" Jazz asked, unsure if she wanted to know. Curiosity killed the cat, and all that. "Did she find out?"

"Huh? Oh, no." He flapped a hand, dismissive. "She broke up with me, said some vague stuff. I guess she thought it was too dangerous to date me, afraid that ghosts might target me as her partner."

Jazz wasn't sure what her face was doing, but whatever it was, it made Phantom laugh again. Something horrified, she thought.

"Well," she finally tried, somewhat feebly. "I guess that that greasy biker dude that my Danny is dating isn't the worst option, then."

Phantom chuckled, then stopped, suddenly.

"Greasy biker dude?" he repeated, blankly. "What, like Johnny 13?"

Jazz felt her stomach plummet. Her body followed the feeling, and she thudded down on the grassy ground.

"You know him?"

He nodded, jerkily. "He dated my Jazz," he explained, slowly. "He was giving her all kinds of items that were contaminated with his girlfriend's power, so she was slowly possessing Jazz. Wanted her DNA so she could open the Portal for him and let out his actual girlfriend."

"Oh my god." Her core pulsed in her chest, agitated. "Holy shit, I gotta stop him."

"Want a hand?" Phantom asked, unfolding himself from his sitting position. "You could probably take him, but—"

She shook her head, pushing herself up onto her feet. "No, come. You can drag Johnny away while I swear his skin off of him."

Phantom threw back his head to laugh. "Deal," he said, between cackles.

It's the official halfway point of Absurdism, chapter 8 out of 16! Valerie is (begrudgingly) working together with Sidney, and Specter and Phantom! Because, listen. Valerie is hot-headed and hates ghosts, but she also has her priorities straight. If one (not very dangerous) ghost has information necessary to take down a bigger threat, she can focus on that. Hell, in the canon she worked together with Phantom even though she hated him with a passion.

Also I totally skated past the events of '13' but yeah that happened. Johnny 13 dated Danny Fenton in this universe. I usually hc Danny as bi but I'm not too big on romance-centric stories so I never do anything with that, haha.

Next week, chapter 9: Doppelganger! The last chapter in the fic with a title that doesn't match an episode. ;)