Summary of Events: The Akatsuki are splitting ways. Hannah, Zetsu, Kakuzu, Itachi, and Tobi are staying in Suna. Leader, Kisame, Kate, Hidan, and Konan are going to Konoha. Dessie, Deidara, Suigetsu, Sakura, and Gai arrived in Wargonia. Hannah is doing guard duty at night.

Chapter Seventy-Eight: Masters of the Night

Rule Number Seventy-Eight: Tobi should learn to keep his mouth shut

Hannah

The stars in the desert seem different than the stars in the forest. They have a dusty, sandy feel to them whereas in the forest the stars have a clean-cut, firm feel to them. Different. The night sky is less daunting in the forest too – though that might because I am standing on the wall of Suna, anticipating the Wargonians' second attack instead of sleeping peacefully in my bed at the hideout.

"You look very pensive."

I glanced over my shoulder to see Kankuro standing beside me. With a very obvious eye roll, I asked, "Do you even know what 'pensive' means?"

"Nope."

"Moron…" I muttered. "I wouldn't get so close to me if I were you."

"Why not?" asked Kankuro, automatically inching closer until we were almost touching. He grinned suggestively and said, "I see no problem with it."

I sighed. "My husband is a cannibal plant with multiple personalities and I have a devoted psychopathic bomber. Oh, and I'm good friends with a crazy guy who have five hearts – do you really want to mess with me?"

"Oh…" Kankuro quickly left and returned to Baki's side to keep watch on the Wargonian troops.

I smirked. "I didn't think so."

"Didn't think what?"

With a laugh, I turned to see the black-and-white face of the very cannibalistic husband I spoke of. He was half way out of the ground so that only his Venus flytrap head was exposed.

"Hi, Zetsu," I said. "Having a good night?"

"No. Bored. And we're hungry but no one will let us eat."

"Do they look tempting?" I asked.

Zetsu nodded enthusiastically. "All the little people look very yummy. We want to fest on their flesh… But the Kazekage has forbidden us. And Leader has told us to listen to the Kazekage."

"But you can eat other things," I said thoughtfully.

"But other things don't taste nearly as good…" muttered Zetsu. "We want flesh."

"Can't you eat the Wargonians then?"

Zetsu made a face and I decided that was bad thing. Instead, I stood on the edge of the wall and watched the moon glowing silver in the sky. Yes, it was an unnerving night. Zetsu pulled his whole body out of the ground and stood beside me silently. His Venus flytrap towered over me and – thankfully – black Kankuro from my view.

BANG!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

My heart froze in place. Fire erupted along the wall with each bang. Soldiers were thrown up into the air, screaming and burning as they fell to the ground below. The explosives continued to go off and a large hole began to build up in the side of the wall, slowly getting deeper and deeper until it would break through the wall and allow the Wargonians access to the city.

"Shit," said Baki, running along the wall. "Protect the city! Stop the Wargonians from getting through! Contain the blast! Contain it, goddamnit!"

Zetsu and I raced after him, trying to see how to fix the problem. We headed down from the top most level all the way to the first. Baki stopped there and conferred with the captain of the lowermost level. Kakuzu and Juugo were there and Zetsu and I rushed to talk to them.

"They're blowing up the wall!" I cried.

"I can see that," muttered Kakuzu.

"Well," I snapped. "What do we do!"

After a moment's consideration, he shrugged. "I suppose we defend the wall and make sure that no one gets through the hole…"

Suddenly a great shout rose up amongst the wall. "The Kazekage has come! The Kazekage has come!"

We turned to see if the shouts were true and found the red head talking to Bake and the other commanding officer. Quickly, we made our way through the crowds of the lower level to talk with them. Gaara stiffened as we approached, but we ignored our obviously unwelcome presence and said, "Any plans?"

Gaara hesitated and then said, "I can rebuild the hole in the wall."

"Really?" I asked. "How?"

"He controls sand," said Zetsu. "It is the ability he gained from have the One-Tail sealed inside of him."

"And you would know a lot about that," snapped Baki.

I ignored their bickering and turned to Gaara. "Then why are you standing around here instead of rebuilding the wall?'

"I can hardly rebuild it with them blowing it up every few seconds and the Wargonians attacking at the same time."

"Well then," said Kakuzu. "Why don't you let Hannah, Juugo, Zetsu, and me go down into the hole between the wall and fight off the Wargonian troops while Baki and the others contain the explosives. We'll buy you the time to rebuild the wall."

Gaara blinked. "That's a lot of time you need to buy me. And with so few."

"Then find Itachi and Sasuke and Tobi," I said. "They'll help."

"They're busy," said Baki. "We need their Sharingans to locate the explosives…"

"Then," I said. "We have the four of us to work with. End of story."

Baki and Gaara still looked reluctant, but we didn't give them any time to consider. Kakuzu led the way and Juugo, Zetsu, and I followed. We reached the edge of the wall where the explosives had blown away the sand. I hopped on Kakuzu's back and he jumped down. We landed on the hard sand below where hoards of Wargonians stood, adding explosives to the pile and slowly blowing away the wall.

"Hello, boys," I said, sliding off Kakuzu's back. "We seem to have a slight issue here."

"You," snarled one of the Wargonians. "I know you…"

A shadow rose from the ground behind the Wargonian, a menacing grin slapped across the shadow's face.

I cringed. "Um… you might want to take a look behind you…"

"What?" The Wargonian started to turn, but right about then was when Zetsu decided to take a bite out of the Wargonian's shoulder. The Wargonian screamed in pain, but Zetsu was merciless and he devoured the Wargonian within minutes.

"Ew…" I muttered.

Kakuzu smirked and turned to face Juugo as the hoards of Wargonians fell upon us. Kakuzu' spring from his back and threw the Wargonians in all directions. "Hey, Juugo!" shouted Kakuzu.

"What?" Juugo punched a Wargonian in the face before turning to stare.

"What happened to you arm?"

There was a pause. The Wargonians continued to try attack us not noticing as Juugo's eyes grew wide and a gray ripple crossed his skin and Juugo began to morph into a hideous monstrosity. Suddenly, instead on being patient, Juugo went on rampage and began ripping heads off every Wargonian he could get his hands on.

"Nice," I said to Kakuzu.

"You should be thanking Zetsu," said Kakuzu. "He's the one who ate Juugo's arm."

"Yeah, but I prefer not to congratulate Zetsu on his cannibalism."

Kakuzu grinned and then let on of his hearts unleash a whirlwind upon the Wargonians nearby. I gripped the handle of my frying pan and wielded it upon every single Wargonian I could get my hands on.

I can't recall how long the fight went on for. Between Juugo's violent rampage, Zetsu's cannibalism, Kakuzu's black tentacles, and my very deadly frying pan, the world was in chaos. Not only did we fight to the sound of dying Wargonians, but also to the explosions of the walls behind us. At some points, the Wargonians would try to attack us with the explosives. However, Zetsu would sink underground and Juugo would continue rampaging (the explosives didn't affect him in monster form). Kakuzu would simply harden his body and use it to shield me – hurray for my normalness…

And then, the explosions stopped.

Whether Baki had managed to contain them or the Wargonians had simply run out, I don't know. But then Gaara appeared and the sands began to shift as he rebuilt the wall.

"Hannah!" shouted Kakuzu. "Don't get distracted!"

"Right!" I turned backed to the Wargonians and smashing in the nearest one's head with my frying pan.

The sands around me shifted and the fight was forced to move forward (unless we wanted to be sucked up with Gaara's sands and become part of the wall ourselves). The night war on and my arms started to ache. Only pure adrenaline and the threat of death kept me going.

And then, suddenly, with only an hour or so left until sunrise, the command came to get out of there.

Zetsu grabbed hold of my wrist and the two of us melted into the ground. When we found the surface again, we were up on the wall, gazing down at the masses of Wargonian troops. Juugo and Kakuzu had used jutsus to climb the wall and we were all back to safety (well, as close as safety can be on the front line of battle).

"Well," I said incredulously. "We managed to survive that."

Juugo's skin returned to normal and he nodded. "That was fun."

"Heh…" I groaned. "I wouldn't call it fun. Let's just say 'been there, done that – never again'."

"Hannah-Nunu!"

Tobi came running along the wall, his arms outstretched. He reached me and tried to give me a hug, but at the last second I stepped out of the way and Tobi went crashing to the ground.

"Hi, Tobi," I said. "It's, um, nice to see that you survived."

"Liar…" muttered Kakuzu.

"So you all lived through that," observed Sasuke. He and Itachi came along the wall from the same direction as Tobi. Apparently they had succeeded in their mission of locating the bombs and had come to find us.

"Of course," I said. "Piece of cake."

"Hn."

"Hannah-Nunu! Hannah-Nunu!" cried Tobi excitedly.

"What?" I asked wearily.

"Do you know what the troops are calling you and Kakuzu and Zetsu and Juugo?" he asked. "Hm? Do you, Hannah-Nunu? Do you? Come on! Say you don't! Tobi wants to tell you!"

As much as I really wanted to say I knew, just to torment Tobi, I was actually curious, so I said, "Fine… What are they calling us?"

Tobi giggled excitedly. "The Masters of the Night! Because you defeated those Wargonians so easily and helped the Kazekage rebuild the wall! The troops are impressed and you're now a legend. The Master of the Night! Tobi wants to be a Master of the Night."

"You're not cool enough," I said. "Maybe next time."

"Itachi's cool," pointed out Tobi. "And he's not a Master of the Night."

"Well, obviously we're cooler than Itachi."

Tobi gasped and then giggled delightedly. "Did you hear that, Itachi-senpai? Hannah-Nunu says that she's cooler than you are!"

"Hn."

"I don't think Itachi cares," said Juugo helpfully.

"But Itachi is way cooler than both Hannah-Nunu and Kakuzu – but they're the Masters of the Night. Hannah and Kakuzu have much smaller fan bases than Itachi-senpai, so shouldn't Itachi be the Master of the Night?"

I scowled. "Tobi…"

"But aren't you a big fan of Hannah-Nunu?" asked Juugo.

Tobi nodded enthusiastically. "Tobi is! Hannah-Nunu is Tobi's precious nunu! But Itachi is very popular with the ladies!"

"…"

"Tobi…" I said darkly. "Don't say another word."

"And Itachi-senpai is much prettier than Hannah-Nunu and Kakuzu."

[This scene is omitted due to extreme violence. However, I would like to use this opportunity to point out Rule Number Seventy-Eight: Tobi should learn to keep his mouth shut – after all, Hannah and Kakuzu are the Masters of the Night.]

"Well," I said, dusting off my hands as I stood over Tobi's mangled body. "I'm exhausted. I'm going to try and get some sleep before the next Wargonian attack comes."

"That sounds good," said Juugo and he followed me as we walked along the wall, heading for the camps.

"Hn."

"I think I'll come too…"

And with that, we left Tobi lying on the wall while the rest of us went off for several hours sleep. And trust me when I say, it was well-deserved and much appreciated sleep… Mmm…. Sleep….