Blurry Lines: Chapter Six

Isabella

I'd made up my mind a week ago at the restaurant. I'm going to leave Dartmouth over Christmas break. That gives me two in-a-half months to get my classes in order and leave the past in the past. It's time to start my life fresh; it's time to live my life for me.

When I walked away from Edward I walked directly out of the restaurant, leaving everything and one behind. That's were the idea truly hit me. If I could just walk away like that tonight why can't I just do that on a bigger scale? Why can't I do that to better my life?

There are five parts to my plan; first I'm going to apply to Harvard again. Hopefully they'll accept me a second time, if not I have Washington State standing by.

Secondly, I have to get recommendations from a few of my teachers, the ones who see the potential and hard working skills I encompass.

Thirdly, I have to tell Alice, which isn't going to be easy. She came to this school because of me and I'm basically leaving her high and dry. But something told me she wouldn't be too disappointed with Jasper around.

Fourthly, I have to keep this under the radar until I actually leave. I don't want anyone stopping me. I don't want anyone to influence my decision. I have to do this for myself. I have to grow up and stop believing in fairytales.

And fifthly, I have to see my parents.

-~~'\\%/'~~-

A Month Later

The mail arrived early today. Alice has it in her hand. I'm nervous. I still haven't told her about my decision and today's the day I know my Harvard letter is arriving. She's going to freak.

"Bells you have mail…What the hell Isabella!" she screamed, rounding the corner from the door into the living room. "When were you going to tell me?"

"Soon."

"Soon? Why didn't you tell me when you applied Bella? What were you thinking, that you could just move out without me noticing the boxes?"

"Alice-"

"Don't you Alice me." She said forcefully. "Coming here was your idea, Bella. I came here, paid all of that money because you just had to, now you're going to just leave me here, and you weren't even going to tell me you were leaving? How selfish can you be?"

"Alice just listen okay." She glared at me, her little fist balled. "I thought that you would want to stay here anyway, to be with Jasper. You've created such a good life here for yourself Al. I could never even think about taking you away from it. That would be selfish of me.

"You can do things here; I can't, not when I have to see him with her. Not when I have to see him period. I have to get away from here, because I'm losing myself, and my life has become this bad rerun of the 'Real World.' Now you can hate me, but I'm still leaving Al. Either Harvard or State, but I'm going."

"Then…then you'll just have to make room for me too."

"Alice." I murmured exasperatedly. "You don't have to-"

"Bella," she interrupted. "we came here together. We sacrificed everything for each other; you're my best friend in the entire world. No, scratch that, you're my sister and family sticks together no matter what. So you open this letter and tell me if we're going to Harvard."

"What about Jasper?" I bargained, knowing Alice was really hitting it off with him.

"He'll understand and I think that what we've built is strong enough to withhold long distance. Stop procrastinating and open the damn envelope Bella."

"Fine." I took the envelope from her, my hands shaking a little. I opened it up and scanned it quickly. "Oh my god Al…I didn't get in."

"What? Give me that." She snatched the paper from me and began reading. "Dear. Ms. Swan, We are sorry to inform you that due to your timing and…." I tuned her out, my thoughts flying a mile a minute. "Oh Bells, I'm sorry. But you got into state, right?" I nodded, whispering a 'yes.' "Okay than, all hope isn't lost. I'll apply now and… when were you planning on leaving?"

"Christmas break. There's something I have to do then. I thought I could do it while I was on my way out."

"We can still do it then I guess. Yes, Christmas would be perfect, because we were invited to spend thanksgiving with Jasper, but I guess we'll be packing up around that time."

"No, I've been packing for a while. I just have a few more things lying around the apartment and my bed set."

"Well, I guess I better catch up. So Jasper's for thanksgiving?"

"Um actually, I think you should do that alone. It's the perfect time to meet his family and I think you should do that. And before you worry about me, I want you to know I'll be just fine. I'll make a small turkey for myself and have a nice meal in front of the fire place."

"Bella, that's no fun."

"Alice, I just need time to myself, and this is the perfect holiday to take that time." She sighed, turning to leave. I hesitated, wanting to ask her something. "Um Alice, can I ask you for a favor?"

"Sure B, what is it?"

"Can you maybe ask Jasper to find out where Edward and Tanya will be spending their Christmas?"

"Oh, I know that. Thanksgiving at Edwards parents house, then Christmas at Tanya's parents place, why?"

"You'll find out for Christmas, later Ally."

-~~'\\%/'~~-

"So,"

"So?" I asked slowly as I turned around from his computer to face him. James had been stuttering over his words for the better part of thirty minutes and I was getting very irritated. I was supposed to end things with him, but there never seemed to be a good time.

"Would you like…I mean I was just wondering if you…"

"James, please spit it out."

"Would you like to come home with me for thanksgiving?"

"Oh," I was not expecting that. I mean I know we've been sort of dating for the past few months, but I didn't think we were anywhere near meeting the parents.

"Oh?" he asked hesitantly. "I know it's pretty early in our relationship, Bella, but-"

"James please stop…um, I-I can't. Oh god, look, you are a great guy, but I can't…I can't do this anymore. I think- I think we should end this, I don't want to lead you on, and if I stay with you longer then this than I will be leading you on. And you deserve better than that."

"So that's it? You're just ending it. Why? Is it Cullen?" he sneered.

"Um, actually no, it's me. I'm-I'm actually at fault here. I just don't think I can do this anymore."

"You don't think?" he asked angrily. I'd never seen him angry before and it was truly a site. He was even more beautiful this way. "That's real bullshit Bella. You do realize I invested in this relationship, time, effort, my-my heart and you don't think you can do this anymore? Leave," he demanded abruptly.

"James?"

"Isabella, please leave before I do something I'll really regret. Leave."

I nodded my head, gathered my things and headed for the door. He was right behind me. I opened his door and stepped into the hallway. "James I'm really-"

He slammed the door in my face before I could get the entire sentence out. The force of the slam making a 'boom' that ricocheted through the frat house. A few of his 'brothers' poked their heads out of the door, looking around.

"What the fuck is going on?" Emmett asked as he rushed down the hall.

"Nothing, Em, just me leaving."

"What's going on Izzy; that boy of yours being a little shit? You want me to beat his ass for you?"

"It's not him Em, it's all me this time. Um, I have to go; I'll see you around Emmett."

"Yeah, see you around B."

-~~'\\%/'~~-

Thanksgiving came, and like I promised Alice, I made myself a small turkey and some mash potatoes along with some asparagus and sat in front of the fireplace to enjoy it.

I think about life after this day, opting to just enjoy the silence of the moment. But when dinner was done being eaten and leftovers were up, my thoughts drifted to the matters outside of these four walls.

I realized I'd probably never see some of the good people I've met here again; Rose and Emmett. I wish they get together soon. Jasper, well I have no doubt that I'll be seeing Jasper again. James…. You know what sucks, I actually started to like James and throw myself partially into the relationship with him, thinking by giving myself to someone else that I could wash Edward Cullen from my mind, but no. I could never wash him away when he's so close to me. After five years of remembering his love, of loving him and months of trying to be his friend, I think I care more about him now than I did all those years ago.

And throwing myself partially in a relationship with James was wrong. It may have seemed like it didn't hurt me to break up with him, but it did. Because somewhere along the way I'd really started to care about James, not knowing that I had actually let him into what was left of my heart. So I guess his invitation to thanksgiving wasn't too early, I was just too afraid.

-~~'\\%/'~~-

"So, how was your vacation?" I asked Angela as she and I left the bio-lab.

"It was fantastic, and guess what?"

"What? Angela you can't hold out on me, what happened?" I exclaimed amusingly. She was glowing with joy, her eyes sparkling.

"I found out that someone I really like lives in my neighborhood and…well, we sort of ran into each other and got to talking, he asked me out."

"Ang, that's great news. So who is he?"

"Ben Cheney." She smiled, staring at me expectantly. I shook my head, not recalling the name. "He's in our Bio class, Bella."

"I have no idea who you're talking about?"

She sighed exasperated. "That's okay, because he asked me to ask you if we would like to join him and his lab partner at his house so we can all get started on our lab. I guess this is your last lab, huh?"

"Sorry babe." I had to tell Angela about my move. I'd grown to love the girl over the last few months and she was really a great friend. Besides, I was practically leaving her to fly solo in lab, which I felt horrible about. "But to make up for it I want you to tell Ben yes. I think meeting with him and his partner is a great idea. Four heads is way better than two. When are we meeting up?"

"Is tomorrow good for you? He said Wednesday's are the only days he really has his apartment to himself. His roommates go out to the local bar and don't come home until late."

"Sure, that's great, do you want to carpool?"

-~~'\\%/'~~-

Ben lives in a very nice apartment. His building even included an elevator. There are twenty floors to his building and he lives on the sixteenth floor, apartment 12L. Angela was hopping in place as we reached his front door. I was about to ask her to calm down, but the door swung open before I could contain her.

"Oh," a tall, geeky boy with glasses and pimples that circled his cheeks said as he walked out into the hall. "Hello ladies, I'm Eric."

"I'm Angela," Angela greeted, taking Eric out stretched hand.

"And you are?" he asked, releasing Angela's hand and reaching his out to me.

"Bella, it's nice to meet you Eric. Is Ben inside?"

"Oh, you're here to see Ben. Um, yeah he's in there with that other guy, maybe I'll catch you on my way back Bella, Angela." He smiled seductively, and it was…well amusing.

"Yeah, maybe." He walked away satisfied with my response and Angela and I stepped into the apartment, leaning against each other for support and as horrible as it is, we laughed. She shook with laughter and so did I.

"Angela?" called someone who I assumed to be the infamous Ben.

We straightened up, smoothing over our clothes before taking a few more steps into the apartment. Ben was in the living room, sitting around his living room table, with supplies and books thrown about the table.

"You came," Ben stated as he smiled up at Angela. I looked over at her to see her cheeks a few shades darker with blush.

"I said I was. And look, I even brought Bella. Where's your lab partner?"

"He's in the restroom. It's nice to finally meet you Bella."

"You too Ben, Angela talks about you all the time." He looked at me, his smile growing, his cheeks now flushed. They were so in it for the long hall.

"Oh, please have a seat; the sofas somewhere under here. So, do you guys know what part of the body you want to do?"

"I was thinking, maybe since you told me that you guys were doing the left side of the brain, we could do the right." Angela said quickly, looking at me for approval. I nodded, telling her to keep going. "Or, we could do the female uterus system."

"The right side of the brain sounds great, so does the uterus system. Those are both good ideas Angela." Ben complimented.

"Thank you." She whispered, showing her gratitude.

Seconds later, when conversation came to a standstill, there was a toilet flush and the sound of running water before the restroom door opened and Edward-freaking-Cullen walked into the living room.

"All right Ben, I'm all ready to get to- Isabella?" he whispered. "What are you…" he cleared his throat, his words coming out stronger. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Ben's my partner."

"Angela's mine."

"You know each other?" Ben and Angela asked in unison. They looked at each other, both blushing.

"Um, yeah, I guess we do." I whispered.