PLEASE READ!
So, I have a huge favor to ask of you guys. In return, I've provided you guys with an early chapter. Okay, so outside of this fanfiction world I have decided to give writing a real shot. Only I'm stuck on this sort of fight scene between father and daughter. My character Vivian, isn't saying what I want her to say. But the words did come from my brain so I'm kind of lost on that setting. Anyway, she's saying things to her father that sounds fake to me and I wrote them! Sorry, let me continue. I just need feedback. Can you guys maybe tell me if what she's saying in this little section is sounding like something you guys would say to your father. It would be much appreciated if you could maybe leave a comment on the blog about it. Thank you. The website address is below. Type the address into GOOGLE. It should be the only web page that shows up. The name of the blogs topic is WORDS. I just created it and I'm still working on learning how to use it and make it nicer for viewing. Any who I hope you enjoy this chapter of Blurry Lines.
writingsofawomanonherown(dot)blogspot(dot)com
Blurry Lines: Chapter Seven
Edward
"Um, yeah, I guess we do." She whispered. 'I guess we do?' What is that supposed to mean? Of course we know each other. I haven't seen or heard anything about Isabella in a month, keeping my promise to Tanya and staying away from her, but that doesn't mean I don't know her. How could she sound so unsure of that?
Agreeing to that promise was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. But Tanya was right, she's the women I love now, she's the women that I should worry about. Her wants; needs and safety should come before all others, even Isabella's.
After agreeing to Tanya's terms I avoided Isabella like the plague. Skipping lunch with my friends, staying at my apartment instead of my room at the frat house, knowing she would be there with him. In Bio class, I made sure I entered the class after her and left before her.
She caught me the first day I started avoiding her, confronting me, calling me out for being a prick. She was wrong about everything, of course, but she wouldn't let me get a word in to explain why I was doing what I was doing. I knew my words were just that, words, but I needed her to know, to understand. She walked away, though, leaving me behind.
She stayed away from me after that, ignoring me and taunting me with her skin tight clothing. And that bastard James loved every goddamn minute of it; smiling like the fucking cat that ate the goddamn canary. I wanted to deck him.
And finally, when I thought that I would lose my goddamn mind if I saw her one more time and wasn't able to talk to her or touch her, Alice fucking Brandon came up with a fucking group dinner. I agreed immediately, jumping in before Tanya could decline. I got shit for it when I drove her to her place, but I took her shit happily. I was just excited to see Bella.
And boy did I see her. When she walked into the restaurant that night I was stunned silent. She looked so fucking hot in that green number. I wanted to swoop her up and lay her out right there on the table we sat at. And that little visual scared the hell out of me, not ever having or feeling anything like that before.
When everyone at the table got to talking, Alice distracting Tanya with wedding talk and when that ass hat James started talking to Jasper I just knew I would get to talk to Bella, but she had other plans as she stood, making every male at the table follow suite.
She was confused as to why we stood, but ass hat James asked her where she was heading, letting her know without words that your supposed to announce where your going as you stand. But that wasn't why her eyes widen in surprise, or why Alice eyes budged, or mine narrowed. That ass hat called her 'love'. After she heard that she nearly bolted for the ladies room.
We all sat at the table for a long time, waiting for her to return. I was just sitting there, not paying attention to anyone's conversation, when ass hat James pulled me into his. "So, what are you guys doing for thanksgiving Edward?"
"Oh, um, I think we're going to my parents."
"We are," Tanya confirmed as she grabbed my hand. "and were going to my parents house for Christmas. Daddy's thinking about taking us to the islands."
"What about you Alice, Jasper?" I asked, getting the attention away from us.
"Well, I asked this pretty little lady if she would come home with me for thanksgiving and she said yes. I also asked her to invite Bella," she said looking over at James. "that's if you-"
"No, that was cool, but I'm going to ask her to my house; my little sisters all up for meeting her. Even my mom is digging out her best. I just hope she say's yes."
"Well of course she'll say yes," Tanya said, butting in. "where else is she going to go?" Tanya asked sardonically.
"Tanya." I warned.
"What, didn't she say she didn't have any parents?"
"She has parents." I told her forcefully. She narrowed her eyes at me, watching me intensely.
"Your parents don't count, Edward." She retorted, curving her left eye brow, daring me to disagree.
I just couldn't help disappointing her. "They're-"
"You're a bitch." Alice exclaimed, cutting me off and glaring at Tanya.
"Excuse me?" Tanya asked appalled.
"There's no excuse for you."
"Alice." Jasper whispered, trying to calm the small little thing.
"No Jazz, this needs to be said, and if Edward won't do it, I sure as hell will. What has Bella every done to you for you to treat her with so little respect? She's never once said a bad word about you, even after she found out about the two of you, she let it go, accepting that things just don't turn out how you plan them, but you have the ability to make new plans and choices. That girl deserves to be treated with respect and I be damned if I sit here and let you talk about my best friend that way, my sister. So if you don't have anything nice to say then just keep your trap shut. And yes, she does have parents. She has my mom and dad, and as much as you try to snub it, the Cullens are her parents. And if that doesn't float your boat, her mother and step dad is around somewhere."
I smiled at Alice, James clapping for her, Jasper kissing her sweetly. She was small, but boy was she packed with energy. The look of shock on Tanya's face made me want to laugh and I was having a difficult time holding it in. I excused myself quickly, and walked away from the table. I didn't even reach the hall before my body shook with laughter.
I walked around the corner, instantly colliding with someone who I straight away knew was Isabella from the shock that surged through my body and the skin tight green dress. Something came out of my mouth that she took the wrong way. When I tried to tell her I didn't mean it like that she went off on another one of her little rants. I tried once more to explain to her, but knowing I couldn't tell her the entire situation, I couldn't break Tanya's trust in me. But then again, I couldn't lose my Isabella completely.
So I kissed her; cutting her off mid rant with my lips. It was the single most electrifying thing I have ever experienced in my entire life. Her lips fit mine so perfectly that I couldn't help but melt into her. She was so warm, soft. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, but I couldn't, knowing that this kiss was way out of line as it was.
I broke the kiss, leaning my head against hers. I told her something about me always being myself, how I was still here and not lost. She told me something about how we've only been near each other for a short while and we were messing up each others lives more then need be, then she said that one of us should leave, she opted to be the one, not giving me a choice, and then she walked away.
This is the first time in almost two months that I've really seen her, and she 'guess,' she knows me. Well I guess I deserve that. "How have you been Bella?"
"Fine, and you?"
"Good, I've been good."
"That's great, and Tanya?" she asked politely.
"She's good too." I answered honestly. I looked at her for a moment, taking her beautiful features in, than I turned to Ben who was just in the middle of clearing his throat. "I'm sorry, um, you must be Angela?" I greeted reaching out to shake her hand.
"Yes, so how do you Know Bella? I didn't think she knew anyone from our class."
"We have common friends, and we knew each other as teenagers."
"Cool, so are you guys ready to work?"
-~~'\\%/'~~-
Bella, who I found out just now, came to Dartmouth for the pre-med program just like me, and Angela who's in the same program decided to go with the right side of the brain for their project, which turned out to be a great idea, because Ben and I needed information on it and they needed information on the left side of the brain.
Together and over four hours later we were packed to the rim in fake brain matter and little tube diagrams. Both projects were coming alone beautifully so around midnight when Angela's head was luxuriously prompted on Bens shoulder, we decided to call it a night.
"Maybe it would be better for her to just stay here. Is that okay with you Ben?" Bella asked.
"Yeah, sure, I'll put her in my bed and I'll take the couch. How are you going to get home, didn't Ang drive?"
"Um, I'll just w-"
"No," I interrupted before she could offer up that ridiculous concept. "I'll drive you."
"Edward, that's fine, I can walk."
"Isabella, it's really late outside and you live over what, twenty-two blocks away? I'll take you, it's not a problem. Come on, my cars in the garage. Goodnight Ben, and please make sure the projects stay intact."
"I will. Goodnight you two. It was really a pleasure to meet you Bella."
"You too Ben, and thank you for having us, oh, and thank you for looking after Angela; tell her to call me tomorrow okay?" she asked.
"Will do, night guys." He said once more as he shut the door behind us.
"So, are you ready to head out?"
"Yeah, sure."
-~~'\\%/'~~-
Do you know that moment, when two people are talking, not because they want to but because they're confined to a small space and it's polite to make conversation, even if it's just two or three sentences each; how when they run out of things to talk about there's this awkward silence that lingers and no one knows what to say anymore, or what to do so they sit in the silence and hope that the time pass quickly.
Well that was Isabella and myself at the moment. I was the stupid person that tried vainly to make conversation and she was the person vainly hopping I would drive faster. I refused, taking as much time as I could. I wanted to savor this, because something in me, I don't know what, intuition? Whatever it was, it told me I wasn't going to get this again, this was it.
"So how are things going with James?" She looked at me, her teeth finding their way into her bottom lip. She looked contemplative. "What, did you break up with him or something?"
She looked away from me, nodding her head minutely. "Yes, before thanksgiving."
"If you don't mind me asking, why, I thought you two were getting alone fairly well?"
"We were,"
"So then why-"
"Edward, please don't ask questions you don't really want answers to."
"If I didn't want the answer then I wouldn't have asked the question Isabella." I stated mater-of-factly.
"Fine, Edward, since you want to know so badly. I broke it off with James because I just couldn't do it anymore. He was nice, charming, good-looking, everything a girl could want right? But he wasn't for me. There was nothing there for me, and it would have been wrong of me to lead him on more than I already had. I did try with him, Edward, I really did, but there was just nothing, no spark, no flam, no anything.
"And you want to know why? Because he never even came close to making me feel how you make me feel." My eyes shot to her, shock coursing through my body. I couldn't even think much less drive. I hurriedly pulled my car over to the side of the road, my breath leaving me in a 'whoosh' sound.
What was she saying?
Nine minutes later, my mind began to work again. I looked at her as she looked at me, our eyes meeting. She couldn't say things like that. I'm engaged, I'm getting married, I'm with Tanya.
"Isabella-"
"I told you not to ask questions you didn't want answers to, Edward."
"I didn't expect that as an answer. You can't say things like that, Bella. What am I supposed to do when you say things like that?"
"I don't expect you to do anything Edward. You wanted an answer and you got it. For some reason my mind, and my heart as well, won't let you go. And you don't know how painful that is. You don't know how much it hurts to want to throw yourself fully into a healthy relationship with someone just to find out that that person is actually falling in love with you, and you can't even return the feelings. But it's just like I said, James was perfect, but he wasn't you."
"Bella, I'm-I'm engaged."
"God, you think I don't know that? Were you listening to me at all?"
"I love Tanya." I continued to ramble.
"Edward please, just take me home."
"I gave her my word Bella, I gave her a ring, I can't go back on that."
"You gave me your word once, Edward, and you went back on it."
I looked at her a moment longer before starting the car again and driving her home. She was absolutely right. I gave her my word, I promised her and I went back on it.
What's the difference between her and Tanya? Why am I able to keep my word to Tanya, but wasn't able to keep it to her? At one point in my life I loved the girl sitting next to me with everything I had. I wouldn't have missed a beat to do anything for her. So why can't I do that now?
We finally arrived in front of Bella's apartment building, the sidewalk lighted with lamps. I turned the car off, and waited for her to move, or say something. When she just sat there in thought, I couldn't muster up the courage to distract her.
"Have a Marry Christmas Edward." She finally said, moving to exit the car.
"Isabella, Christmas isn't for weeks."
"Do you plan on seeing me before or after that Edward? Nothing has changed, this conversation, it doesn't change a thing. We'll go on as we have been, you ignore me and I'll ignore you. Eventually I'll move on. I have to, because you have and when it comes down to it, we're not those same fourteen year old kids. You're a grown man who made a promise to a woman that you should keep, and I'm a grown woman who needs to grow up and move on. So have a Marry Christmas, Edward."
She got out, leaving me stunned into silence. I guess it's true what they say, don't ask questions you don't want answers to.