A/N: This chapter continues on from where the previous one finishes. Also a big thank you for the reviews - I hope people are enjoying my writing.

Chapter 5

Carla's p.o.v:

That was the last thing I needed. Today of all days. Honestly, I don't think I have any self-control where that man is concerned. Everything was a mess. But, hopefully after today I could begin getting things back on track. I just had the small matter of having to tell my family that I've been suffering from kidney failure and forgot to mention it… Oh, and that yours truly needs you all to get screened. And just to top it all off, if you are a match, I'm gonna ask you to go through a rigorous operation in order for me to survive. Great. Just great. Sensitivity was never one of my personal strengths, so it would be interesting to see how this conversation goes.

Today has been a whirlwind. So much has happened in such a short space of time, and the day wasn't over yet. I thought this as I trundled towards the Victoria Court flats. Arriving outside the main entrance, I pressed the button that read 'J. Connor'. Without much hesitation, Johnny buzzed me up. I decided on the lift instead of the stairs I would usually opt for. I was knackered. I really could be doing without having to do this. I just wanted sleep. Although I was aware that no amount of sleep would make me any better. A kidney on the other hand, would. I had to do this. It was now or never.

Stepping out of the lift, I noticed the door to Johnny's flat stood ajar. I peeked through the crack, seeing everyone was already here. Johnny, Jenny, Aidan, Kate and Michelle. Everyone waited.

'Oh, here she is', Johnny sang as I walked over the threshold.

'About flippin' time, what took you?' Michelle moaned.

'Right then, love, what you having to drink?' Johnny asked. Looking around at all my loved ones present and correct sitting at the breakfast bar, I noticed each of them occupying a drink. Michelle and Kate had their usual glass of red – oh how I envied them both! Jenny opted for a glass of white wine; while the men sat supping from bottles of lager. I then I realised how difficult it would be to get round not having a drink. Without enough time to come up with a believable excuse, I just turned to Johnny and said, 'I'm fine as I am'.

'Carla, Michelle and I have opened a bottle of red – there's plenty to go round if you want a glass', Kate offered.

'Yeah, of course. Help yourself Car'. Michelle nodded.

'Thanks, but-'

'- Oh come on, you know you want to', joked Aidan. Truth is I did want one; but I couldn't. 'Roy hasn't got you on a drinking ban while you're stopping at his, has he? Have a drink, he's never find out from me'.

'Right that's sorted. Glass of red?' Johnny shifted from his seat to retrieve a wine glass.

'I've already said – I don't want a drink. Thanks but no thanks'.

'You can't not have one… I think I've still got some coffee in the pot from earlier it'll no doubt still be hot, or I can make you a fresh –' Jonny's fussing was interrupted by his wife, who had remained silent upon my entrance.

'- Johnny leave the poor girl alone - she's only just walked through the door! If she doesn't want a drink, she doesn't have to have one. Anyway, if she changes her mind, Carla knows to help herself'. I smiled in her direction, silently thanking her for quashing their harassments.

'Anyway… I wanted to get us all together because I've got something I need to tell you all'. As I sat at the head of the table, feeling their stares on me, I could see them straining as they endeavoured to work out what the announcement was. The suspense must've been killing them. I could see it in their faces - especially Aidan's. He wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer… His pensive disposition exposed this - bless him.

'Have you changed your mind?' Aidan almost jumped for joy. 'Are you really gonna team up with me and Alya get Underworld back on its feet? Oh sis, that is just the best news ever!' He leapt out his seat, hurtling towards me as he flung his arms around me. 'I knew you'd change your mind. Ahh, you're just the best!'

'Aidan would you get off me!' I felt suffocated from his tight embrace. He seemed taken aback by my cold response. 'If you'd flamin' listen to what I've got to say, you'd find out that I am not going to help you. I've told you already – sort it yourself'. I sighed, looking at the defeated expression that washed over his face as he shuffled back to his seat. 'Sorry Aid. That was a bit harsh'.

'No matter', he said, refusing to make eye contact with me.

I opened my mouth, finally ready to explain myself. Anxiety building within me as I neared closer to confessing. However, just as I was about to start, Michelle interrupted me. 'Hang on a minute. So, if it's not that…' she thought aloud. '... You're off the drink, you look peaky… Oh my god, Carla!' she screamed, her voice almost perforating my eardrums. 'Why did you lie to me?'

Shit. My heart thumped. How did she know? Roy hadn't blabbed, had he?

'I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to tell you'. This time, it was Michelle's turn to pounce on me. Standing by my side at the head of the table, beaming, she gleefully announced, 'She's only flamin' pregnant, isn't she? That's why she hasn't been drinking'. Instantly the room was filled with joyful elation. My jaw dropped. I gawped at them all. How wrong they had got it. Moments later Johnny approached me, putting an arm around my waist. 'Congratulations darling. I can't tell you how happy I am for you. Make sure you put me and granny Jenny down for a spot of baby-sitting'.

'Eyyy you, enough of that granny. I'm not old enough to be a granny', she jested.

I was truly and utterly lost for words. This couldn't have gone any worse. How could I tell them now? With Aidan still in a massive strop; Michelle and Kate fiddling with the sound system; while Johnny and Jenny embraced one another as they soaked in the 'good news'. I didn't know what to do. I felt like a spare part, like this wasn't really happening to me. Was this just a bad dream I'd soon wake up from? I couldn't sure in that moment. The only thing I was certain of was that I needed out of here. And quick. I needed someone who'd understand. But who? If I told Roy, he'd probably tell me that I'd made matters worse, that I should've told them sooner. And he'd be right.

This was all my fault.

While they were all occupied in someway, I took the opportunity to work out an escape route. Nobody seemed to notice, until the bloody door creaked as I flung it open, bringing everyone's attention back to the present. 'Ey, where do you think you're sloping off to? We're celebrating. This is fantastic news! I'm going to be an auntie!' Kate chirped, before bombarding me with questions such as, 'How far gone are ya? Have you had a scan yet? Boy or girl?'

'Never mind that, babe. I want to know who the dad is. Carla, not anyone we know is it?' Michelle inquired. Nosy and inquisitive as ever.

'I… I… I've got to go'. I legged it as quick as I could, practically leaping into the lift before any of them could stop me.

'Carla'. I heard my dad shout as the doors of the lift closed. And as soon as I was on my own I allowed myself to break down. Tears cascaded down my face. Tears of shame and embarrassment. And in that instance the only person I wanted to turn to was Roy. In fact, I'd been relying too much on him since my diagnosis. But I couldn't. I was on a final warning with him, and if I were to return to his and confess that I actually hadn't managed to tell the Connors, he'd probably give me the silent treatment. I couldn't bear the disappointment that would adorn his face. There was literally no one to turn to.

As I wandered out of the Victoria Court flats, descending into the dark of night, I pondered where to go next… Usually when something bad happened, I'd run. But I couldn't do that. Not even for the want of trying, though. I was exhausted. I was tired of running. For a split second, I deliberated going to Roy's flat, but I knew that wouldn't be a wise decision. It was still early enough for him to be awake, and I knew he'd be keen to discover how I'd got on at Johnny's. I couldn't go back up to Johnny's flat – that's for sure. So instead, I aimlessly ambled the length of the street as I thought what was best to do. My attention wavered from my current situation, however, when I noticed smoke filtering through the air. I followed the direction of the thick cloud of smoke, until I found myself standing in the back yard of the Rovers Return, where Peter stood alone smoking a cigarette. 'Carla?' He squinted in the dark. 'Thank god its you! If Toyah had caught me having a fag, I'd be a dead man!'

I didn't dare utter a word before collapsing into floods of tears. Now it was my turn to breakdown.

'Hey, hey. Come here', he said as he stubbed out his cigarette. Immediately I ran into the safety of his arms. 'You're alright', he soothed me just as I had done to him earlier that day. He rocked me from side to side. God I was getting good at this crying malarkey. 'Shhh. That's it'. It had been so long since someone had held me in this way. With such care. I began to calm down just from his touch and his voice. I still didn't dare to speak, I couldn't trust my voice not to crumble. 'It's freezing out ere. Come on, let's get you inside', he said guiding me indoors.

He led me through to the back room, directing me to the rugged sofa. 'Can I get you something to drink, love?' He knelt in front of me. 'Brew? I know I could murder a cuppa' I nodded. 'Tea makes everything better'.

Minutes later and he returned with two ceramic mugs in one hand and a box of tissues in the other. He placed all three items on the coffee table in front of me before planting himself next to me on the sofa. Instinctively I picked up the mug that sat before me, taking a sip of the tea. I liked the way the steaming liquid managed to heat me up, feeling the beverage warm my insides, giving me some form of comfort.

'Thank you', I said, gesturing towards the tea.

'The least I could do. Especially after today. You've been brilliant. I mean, I was so wrapped up in me own problems I never even bothered to ask you how you are. And by the looks of things, you could've done with a shoulder to cry on', he said while offering me a paper tissue from the box. Attempting a smile, I accepted before dabbing at my eyes.

'What use would that've been if we had both been bubbling into our coffees'. He chuckled as he heard the subtle humour in my voice. He shuffled closer to me. Aware of how intimate this may appear were someone to walk in on us, so I pulled away and asked, 'Where's Toyah?'

'Don't worry about her – she's gone over to Charlton to stay this night with the surrogate mother… She shouldn't be back until tomorrow'. He paused before swiftly changing the direction of our conversation. 'Anyway, what's all this in aid of?' as his thumb stroked a solitary tear from my cheek. 'Hmm?'

'I've just been given the third degree off my family, please don't start', I mumbled barely audible. Yet, he still managed to decipher my wobbly register.

'Sorry. I'm not trying to interrogate you. I just hate seeing you like this. Always have', he admitted.

'I'm sorry', I whispered. I wasn't even sure why I had said it. Perhaps I was letting my emotions get the better of me.

'What are you sorry for?' He moved from me, taken aback. 'You've not done anything'.

'Maybe I should've fought harder for us. I know you hurt me, but maybe we could've... tried?' I questioned aloud.

'Where has all this come from Carla?' He asked, running a hand over my hair.

'Just everything you said this afternoon... None of whats happened would've happened if we hadn't split up... I've officially messed up, like end of the world messed up. I'm in such a muddle, Peter, and I don't know how to make it right... I think I'm too late to sort it. I mean – I tried and it seemed to backfire. My whole family… They think I'm pregnant. God, I don't know why I'm telling you all this. Why am I telling you this?'

'Carla, you're not making any sense. First you're saying we shouldn't have got a divorce; now you're talking about your family. Do you want to start again?'

'I wish it was that simple'. I cried as he wrapped his arms round me, attempting to calm me down… Again.

'Of course it is. Just tell me… From the beginning'. He nudged me along, giving me the confidence to speak to him. That's the thing with Peter, he always instilled me with confidence, making me feel like nothing was impossible. 'Take your time'.

'Well… Basically I've… I'm not drinking at the moment and my family reckon it's because I'm pregnant'.

'But you're not?' I violently shook my head.

'They didn't give me the chance to explain, they all just assumed. I was totally flabbergasted. Before I knew it they were all jumping about like jack-in-the-boxes and screaming to high heavens'.

'Then what happened?'

'Well, I thought about putting them straight… But I didn't have the heart. They were all so overjoyed. I've not seen them that happy in ages'.

'You do realise that you will have to eventually explain yourself'.

'Noooo', I sarcastically said, glaring at him. 'Of course I do, Sherlock. I just don't know how I'm going to do that. They'll be devastated'.

'Ah, I'm sure they'll get over it', he paused, 'eventually'.

'Oh you're really good at making a girl feel better about themselves'.

'Ha! Well, self-pity has never suited you'.

'Ooh, such a charmer', I fake punched him on the arm.

'Tough love, baby'.

'Ermmm excuse me?' I was stunned. What was he playing at?

'Carla, I –'

'Did you really just call me 'baby'? I mean, what's all that about? And earlier… When you kissed me. Care to explain that? Because it's been driving me mad'.

'Well I didn't hear you complaining at the time'. Embarrassed, I bolted towards the door in hope of making a safe escape. But, he was one step ahead of me, blocking my swift exit as he stood in front of the door. 'No, don't go. I didn't mean it to come out like that. Earlier, just being with you… It were like old times. As if we've never been apart. I can't say I was expecting this to happen at the rapid pace it has, but maybe it was bound to happen at some point. It's obvious that I'm attracted to you, and you must still bear some love for me. What we had, those feelings don't even just vanish, do they?'

'Peter, you can't go about saying these things to me - you've got a girlfriend!' I reminded him, all the while my stomach was performing summersaults. He still had such a desirable effect upon me. Even now, in the state I was currently in.

'I know. I know. I know'. He agreed. He knew I was right. 'But please just hear me out... That day I saw you and Michelle standing outside the café, I would've loved nothing more than to go for a walk, take you out to a nice restaurant where I could hold your hands and kiss you. You drive me crazy, Carla. Since then you've been on me mind... Constantly. I just can't get you out of me head'.

'Peter –'

'- No, listen for a minute would ya. Because I didn't believe I'd ever see you again, so to be able to talk to you - it means the world'. He paused considering whether or not he should continue. 'But I want more', he whispered with such a sultry tone to his voice. I shuddered. I wanted him... Or did I? I wanted comfort and protection, that was for sure. And who else could give me that other than him? As I opened my mouth, to respond, he crashed his lips against mine. It didn't take long for his tongue to slip inside my mouth, as mine mirrored his' movements. Both fighting for dominance - how it had always been. Heavy and delayed breathing coming from us both. It felt electrifying. But it couldn't go any further. Not now. Not today. Today had been eventful enough.

I pressed a hand to his chest. 'No, Peter', I said as his hands wandered and his lips moved from my lips and started sucking at my neck instead. 'Peter', I warned.

Hearing the sternness of my voice brought the movements kissing and caressing to an abrupt halt. 'Sorry', he said. And he did look genuine despite the overpowering desire that burned in his bulging eyes. I knew he was finding it incredibly difficult, as was I. It took so much self restraint not to want to him to pick up where we had left off.

'I better go anyway. It's getting late', I said, making my excuses. It would be easier this way.

'No, don't go', he begged. 'Please. Please, stay'. So I did. And we sat and talked; yet simultaneously avoiding to mention our burst of passion.

Peter's p.o.v:

We had been chatting the duration of the night, after I somehow managed to convince her to stay. She was getting tired. No surprise. The hysterical fit of tears she had earlier been in had worn her out. You could see it in her face. Black circles were forming under her eyes, too. Before long her head began to loll, eventually landing on my shoulder. The weight of her whole body pressing into mine. Glancing over, I saw her eyelids were firmly closed. 'Carla', I said quietly as I tried to wake her. Nothing. I must've forgot what a heavy sleeper she could be. Looking at the clock I saw it was late - well past midnight. Had we really been up all night chatting? Since Toyah's family and my son had moved in for the foreseeable, Carla would have to sleep in my bed. I'd suffer a night on the sofa for her. I'd suffer anything for her. I'd just have to work out how to get her upstairs without waking her.

I pulled back the covers on my side of the bed, before plonking her sleeping body on the mattress. Suddenly, she began to stir. Why now? Why now, after herding her up those stairs did she decide to wake? 'Shhhh', I whispered, 'go back to sleep'. Recognising my voice she mumbled in a groggy voice,

'Mmm Peter. Where am I?'

'Safe'. I paused before saying, 'that's all you need to know. Goodnight Carla', I said after tucking her in, pressing a soft kiss on the top of her head, like I had done for Simon many a time. I received no response from her. Assuming she had fallen back into a deep sleep, I headed towards the door.

'Oh, you not stopping?' she mumbled as she turned onto her side.

'I'm gonna sleep downstairs - on the sofa'.

'I'm not that out of practice, am I?' she chuckled. 'I know it was only a kiss. Well, two kisses. Perhaps I'm not as good as I used to be'.

Was she trying to torture me? She was good at that. And then here she lies in my bed teasing me in this way. It is just cruel. 'Don't be silly. I just didn't want to push my luck. Anyway, you don't want me Carla', I assured her.

'Wouldn't be too sure of that', came her response. And in that moment I could've quite happily jumped into bed next to her, but I didn't. She was vulnerable and I didn't want to be seen as taking advantage. If she had really wanted to, I would've known. Wouldn't I? Twice I'd tried to kiss her today, and twice she pulled away from me. This wasn't what she wanted, as much as it was what I wanted. 'Well if I'm not getting any action, you can at least cuddle me till I fall asleep again. It was your fault I woke up in the first place... chucking me on the bed like that. Call it compensation'.

'Nothing to do with how heavy you are', I jested, 'I'm surprised I made it all the way up the stairs with you in me arms'. I paused before considering her terms. Lying close to her would only intensify the desire I still bore for her. I wanted more, but perhaps I'd have to make do with a cuddle.

'Least you won't need to go for a "run" tomorrow. Workout done in five minutes', she giggled with her eyes still closed, determined to fall asleep again. 'You gonna get in beside me for a bit, or not?'

'I suppose I could do that', I said. I hopped on to the bed after kicking my shoes off. I lay on top of the duvet while my arms snaked around her. Holding her close to my own body. Her frame felt smaller than it had used to, making me wonder if everything was ok. I was getting the vague impression that what she had told me was only a scratch on the surface. What was really going on inside her head? Perhaps that was why she kept blowing hot and cold with me. She was a bit lost in herself, yet she hadn't said why... 'Night, love', I whispered.

'Mmm', she grumbled as she began dribbling onto my pillow.

Once I was in the knowledge that she was fast asleep, I tiptoed out of the room. This time she hadn't awoke - thank god! As I stood on the landing, I glanced back at her sleeping form, wrapped up in my duvet. The sight was pretty, to say the least. Something I'd never imagine I'd see again. A smile crept up on my face as I closed the door behind me.

Once I was downstairs, I checked up on on the bar, making sure everything was as it should be. Nodding to myself, pleased at how clean and tidy it had been left by Liz. That meant an easy start tomorrow. I turned back on myself as I headed to the back room, finding a throw that had been hung over the back of the sofa. Snuggling in, as best as I could, on the sofa I thought of my bed. My cosy and comforting bed. And how much I wanted to be in it - with Carla... And before my thoughts ran wild with the notion that Carla Connor was upstairs, asleep in my bed, I too was out for the count.