Blurry Lines: Chapter Eleven

Edward

Eight Years Later

Fresh, that is the word that will define me now. Everything I'm doing from this day forwards I'm starting new, fresh. My divorce is finally finished, after all these years, and now I can begin to make progress, start over new. New home, new job, new. And where better to start then Seattle? It's close to my mother and father and my friends are already there. There's no better place to start.

Eight years ago my life was a mess. The girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved pretty much my entire life walked away from everything I wanted to offer her, leaving a note in her place, adamant about me keeping my promise to someone for once in my life. So she left and I couldn't find her, even though she asked me not to look in the first place, so I went back to the woman I'd made my latest promise to, Tanya Denali, just like Bella had asked of me.

A part of me loved Tanya, always will I guess, but she was not the woman I was in love with, but I stayed with her, making her happy as best I could. And she was, for two years after the phone calls stopped. The phone calls that the girl of my dreams made every day for a month after the four months she'd disappeared. I didn't understand it, she told me to be happy and then she calls for one straight month out of the blue. I didn't even know she had my number, but I think our parents had something to do with that.

Tanya was upset, but when the calls stopped one day she was more than happy again. Two months after the calls stopped we were married. We both stayed at Dartmouth, her finishing her degree in the four years that was provided, and me finishing mine in three and a half.

I made myself study harder, longer. I took night classes and weekend classes, anything to keep my mind off of her, and my body away from my wife. I know what your thinking, what kind of husband doesn't want to sleep with his wife? Well, my answer would be the kind of husband who slept with Isabella Marie Swan before he was married.

After that night in the meadow with her, nothing could ever compare to what we shared. Yes, months after I went back to Tanya we began being intimate, but she just didn't feel right. Her skin wasn't the right shade, it didn't flush innocently. Her noises weren't the right sounds; her lips didn't have the right texture. She wasn't who I wanted, she was all wrong, but she was who I'd promised myself to.

On our honeymoon, as tradition, we slept together. Tanya 'mistakenly' forgot to tell me she left her birth control at home, so she became pregnant. She was so excited about the life growing inside of her. And so was I. It didn't matter anymore that Tanya wasn't who I wanted her to be, she was carrying my child so I had to make it work.

About five months into her pregnancy something went wrong and we lost our child. It was a boy, we'd found out the day we lost him. Tanya was a mess, and I was right alone with her. That child, our child brought us together and without him our marriage slowly crumbled. One day, about a year after the lost of our unborn, I went home earlier then usual and found my wife in a compromising position with our carpenter. When I saw that, I knew our marriage was no longer crumbling, it was over. And for some reason, I felt light. I moved out, getting a lawyer quickly and began the motions for a divorce.

Tanya fought me on everything. She wanted everything, but all I had was our house, I was interning, barely making ends meat. I let her have the house with no complaints, taking my name off the deed and leaving her with all the back drift. In the end though, she lost, having to pay for my lawyer and having to pay me a large, large amount of money. I only took half of what she had to pay me, and in the very, very end it turned out to be the amount I paid for the house in the first place. So nothing lost, nothing gained, until she fought me on that.

During the trial of the divorce I moved back to Forks with my parents, opting to finish out my inter with my fathers hospital. They accepted me with open arms, showing me the ropes and getting me comfortable with every possible position in the hospital, from Peds, to ER. I was completely thankful for the opportunity, and I let them know that every day.

When I'd done all I could with my father I decided it was time for me to stand on my own two feet, time for me to start fresh. So I wrote a letter of resignation and packed my bags and headed for the biggest city in Washington, Seattle. My father made a few calls on my behalf and got me a spot at Seattle Grey's. He told me and I quote; 'I can get you in the doors, but you have to show them what you're made of.' And I can't wait to do just that.

I brought an house two weeks ago when my lawyer let me know that my divorce was really final and that Tanya ended up caving after finding out if she dragged this out any longer she would end up owing me more then what she had to pay in the first place.

With my divorce settlement I brought myself a house; three bedrooms, two baths. The house was right in my price range and it fit me perfectly. My mother just 'had' to decorate it, so I gave her free range to do with it what she pleased, and I have to say she did an amazing job.

When I arrived at my house, it actually felt like home. My personal artifacts and pictures of my friends and family placed delicately throughout the house, making me feel even more at home then anything ever made me feel. I only had two days to myself before I had to go in for my first day at the hospital and I planned to us them to the best of my ability. So I called up someone I knew would help me out with that, someone who loves to party.

"Hey Emmett, you up for a beer?" Emmett and I kept in touch after college, he married Rosalie their last year and they moved to Seattle to be closer to the little family Emmett has left.

"Um I actually can't Eddie, Rose and I are celebrating; I knocked her up!" he exclaimed cheerfully over the phone. His voice was shortly followed by a thump, and moan. "Damn Rose that hurt."

"Language, you can't talk like that around the baby." I heard Rose rebuke in the background.

"Congratulations you two, I'm going to let you go, get back to…celebrating."

After ending my call with Emmett I called up another old college buddy, Ben, who'd moved to the suburbs with his college sweetheart, Angela, who'd he'd married and had a little girl, Gracie, with. He was also out of commission, his wife sick, leaving him to take care of his daughter. I was on my own with nothing to do, so I decided to call it a night and went to sleep.

I wasted the next day away in bed as well, opting to catch up on my sleep before my big day tomorrow. That day came sooner then I would have liked, my alarm blaring next to me, demanding that I wake up. I thumped it then started my morning ritual.

After two hours of getting dress, eating breakfast and lounging around a bit, I decided to go in, giving myself a few minutes to walk around, get the feel of the place. I drove my new beautiful black Volvo today, parking it in the first available spot I could find. I was so nervous that I gave myself a prep talk as I walked into the slid doors.

I was quickly intercepted by a nurse, a male nurse named Daniel. He was a cool guy, very intelligent and funny. He was appointed to be my tour guide until I got the hang of things.

As we walked through the hospital female nurse after female nurse stopped us, asking me personal questions, questions that didn't concern them in the least. I was very traverse with them, and tried vainly to remind them that this was our place of work, not a dating show. They didn't care.

As Daniel and I stepped into the elevator there was a call that came over the intercom, asking for a Doctor Swarm, or Doctor Swat, I'm not sure which, the elevator doors closed, cutting off the tedious voice. Daniel told me when they called for that doctor that meant there was serious business coming into the ER and they needed the big guns. I was impressed.

I got to meet the chief, and also a few attendees and residents. Everyone was more then welcoming, and I appreciated it all very much. Once I was done being showed around I was showed to the pit where I would be working until tomorrow morning. I was excited and I couldn't wait to start.

I'm so tired, my feet are killing me. After I got started in the pit, it seemed like everyone developed an illness. I was so frustrated with all the false alarms, and with the minor injures that could have been taken care of at home. When I was finally relived of my shift around four-twenty I was too tired to make it to my car. So I decided to just make do with a bed in the Doctors lounge for the night. Daniel had told me earlier that I was allowed to use it night or day.

When I entered I noticed one bed in the far right corner was occupied, the light from the hall not reaching far enough into the room for me to get a good look at the occupant. I settled for a bed on the left side of the room, the light also not reaching far enough into the room to disturb my sleep.

I was asleep for a good twenty to thirty minutes, my dreams refusing to come, but my mind stayed peaceful none the less, before I felt a heavy pressure on my face, cutting off my air supply. I jumped up, cursing loudly, and dumping whatever it was on me onto the floor.

"Sorry," someone whispered, keeping there voice down as not to disturb the other sleepers. "I'm so sorry; I tripped over the damn door. Are you okay?" and then I froze. Her voice was as clear as a sunny, cloudless day. It created goosebumps down my back, making my stomach clutch in reaction. I knew it was her, with all of my heart, and soul I knew it was her.

"Is-Isabella?" I breathed. My hands reaching blindly behind me for a light.

"Edward?" she murmured , knowing my voice almost instantly. "Fuck!" she exclaimed loudly.

"Mom!" A boy shouted from across the room from me. Mom?

The light went on then, my eyes closing and opening quickly. Isabella's hand was on the light switch, trembling. I looked away from it, meeting her brown orbs. She looked so beautiful, yet so frighten. I looked around the room, my eyes landing on a little boy, his hair brownish-red like Bella's, his eyes a seafoam green like...mine. And they were wide too, just as I expected mine were.

"Isabella-" I began, my eyes still glued to the little boy that, besides his hair, was a little copy of… me.

"Let's grab a coffee, Edward." she said quickly, I looked at her as she opened the door. "Anthony, sleep." She ordered. I looked back at the boy who was still staring at me in awe. I knelt down, grabbing my shoes and jacket from the ground and followed her out of the room.

We walked in silence, her leading the way to the cafeteria. I can't believe that after all these years she's here, with…my son. We have a son…together; a son that I know absolutely nothing about.

As we entered the cafeteria she motioned for me to have a seat, while she went to go get the coffees. I was still shell shocked. Eight years ago we ended up in the same place, now here we go again, eight years later in the same damn place. Only this time there was a kid who looked a helluva lot like me.

"I hope you still like it black?" she asked as she sat a hot cup of black coffee in front of me.

"Yeah, thanks." She took a seat, bringing her cup to her lips and blowing lightly. We were once again consumed by silence. "So-"

"So-" we both tried at the same time. I motioned for her to go first, but she shook her head, giving me the right away.

"He's beautiful, Bella. Looks a lot like-"

"You?" she asked, her eyes locking with mine.

"Yes, but I also see your dad in him too. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I tried." She whispered. And before I tried to call her out on that, before I could tell her that she was a liar, she finished. Only she didn't have to, because I knew instantly what she meant when she said she tried.

"That's what you kept calling for?" she nodded, shifting her gaze for the first time. "Why didn't you continue to try after that? I mean he's my son Bella. I would have thought you would have tried a bit harder."

"I did. After the twice a day phone calls went unanswered, Alice convinced me to try harder. So I wrote. I wrote a letter a day for a month. When that fell through I decided to try one more time. I was seven months pregnant at the time so Alice had to drive me, but she didn't have a problem with that. It was a month after the letters went unanswered, it was the first time I could get away from anything. We map quested your address and Alice drove me straight to your front door. When we got there everything was a mess, trucks upon trucks of flowers, and chairs and a wedding cake. You were getting married and I refused to stop it, so I made Alice drive me back home. I never tried again. I wrote Esme a few times, asked her how you were. She wrote back that you and Tanya were expecting…."

"Tanya miscarried the baby. It was going to be a boy, but…Does he know who I am, Bella?"

"Yes, I talk to him about you all the time. He has pictures of you from college, and some that Esme sent through the mail. He knows about all of you."

"Does Esme and Carlisle know about him?" I asked accusingly.

"No, I wanted you to know before them. I was going to try to work up enough courage to find you again in a few years, when Anthony got older."

"That's his name, Anthony?" I asked as I stared at her intently.

"Yes, Anthony Charles Swan." She glanced at me, and I smiled acceptably. It was perfect.

"And he's seven?"

"Yes, he turns eight on October 1st. He refused to come out until then. I was weeks overdue." She smiled, remembering.

"And he's healthy? Nothing went wrong during your pregnancy, his birth?" I asked worried.

"Everything went fine Edward. He was healthy all nine months. He came out screaming, his lungs were perfect. And he's been healthy ever since. He started kindergarten this year, he loves it. Um, when he's not at school, he's here at the day care center, or he's over at Alice and Jasper's with Jasper. The doctors and nurses love him here, they all treat him great. He's perfect Edward." She assured me.

"That's good, that's really good. When do I get to meet him?"

She sighed, looking over at the clock on the far wall from the door. "He has to be up in a few hours to go home and get dressed for school, so you could meet him then. Although I think you excited him enough for the night." She reminded me amused. "Did you see his eyes? I thought they would come out."

I laughed with her, remembering my son's face as he took me in. I guess its one thing to see a picture and a wholly other to see the person standing in front of you in the flesh. After we both let our laughter die out I looked at her, and she at me. There was so much that needed to be said, but we were both beat. I just wanted to meet my son and then sleep for a few hours and wake up to get to know him.

"Bella,"

"Later please, I just want to concentrate on Anthony right now. We can talk when we drop him off at school. Do you have an early shift?"

"No, I have the pit until the doctor in the ER needs me."

"Me, you'll be working with me?" she asked surprised.

"You, I thought the doctor in the ER was named Swarm, or Swat…? Swan, of course. I guess it's up to you then."

"I'll probably need you tomorrow; it's the big bike race on the main street. Things are going to get a bit dicey. I'm going to need all the man power I have. So you have an evening shift, come in around noon, no later. We can talk about Anthony at my place; you can even sleep on the couch until noon. I'm going to need you well rested for your shift. So are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be."