Of Dresses and Dreams
Author's Notes: This follows the incidents of Coffee and Cuddles, and is a 902 insert in the night after Harvey returns from seeing Thomas. I'd always felt that there was a lot unsaid, especially from Donna to Harvey, considering that he nearly lost everything for her. This is my attempt to fill that gap.
As always, thanks to my wonderful friend and beta, Nathalie for looking over this and for her special insights. She gets these characters like no one else. Love you, girl.
That dress was going to be the death of him.
He should have known that leaving her question about his dreams involving her unanswered was going to come back to bite him. It was Donna, after all: she'd always had the ability to get him to spill his secrets without even trying. It was something he loved - and sometimes, hated - about her.
The thing about Donna, however, was that she never - usually - needed to resort to her sexuality to glean things from him. Her powers of persuasion were more about using her wit and her intimate knowledge of the way his mind worked to get him talking. But, that was not to say that he was blind to her beauty or the way she carried herself - she'd been commanding his attention almost effortlessly since the first day he'd laid eyes on her. She'd captivated him.
Working side by side for over twelve years had also taught him just how much Donna's wardrobe subconsciously revealed about her life and the state of her mind on any given day. While he would never be as astute as Donna, who could figure out where his head was at just by the lay of his tie or the color of his suits, his own powers of observation had enabled him to read her through the dresses she wore.
He knew she wore darker clothes when she was feeling vulnerable and distressed, as she had for the better part of the last year. When Andrew Malik had cast doubt on her character and her worth because of her association with him, all while she struggled with her own feelings for him. He knew that he had, more or less, abandoned her while he tried to build a relationship with a woman who, he now knew, had been a poor stand-in for Donna. A woman who'd nearly made him push Donna out of his life because of her insecurities. He still shuddered at how close he came to destroying the one worthwhile thing in his life over someone, who for all intents and purposes, had been more detrimental to his state of mind than helpful, despite being a therapist.
On the other hand, Donna's dresses became lighter and flirtier when she was in a good place. Especially when she was in a relationship. Seeing her in those dresses used to make his gut clench and his heart sink low in his chest at the idea of her being happy with someone that wasn't him.
It was also doubly hard since those were the dresses that accented her features; features that he'd become intimately familiar with during the single night that she'd given herself to him. The clothes she wore made it hard not to think of the way her freckled skin had felt against his lips. Or the way her ass had fit into his palm when he'd finally pulled her against him, ready to take her.
And it hadn't been that long since he'd last felt this way - when he'd found her in his office the day after Thomas Kessler had interrupted them at the elevators. When he'd been about to lay it all out for her. The despair of having missed his opportunity was compounded by seeing how happy she'd seemed with Thomas.
But now, he was the man in her life. He was the one who influenced what she wore during the day and he was the one who also got to take them off at night - and at other times of the day, when she'd let him.
He smiled to himself as he stood in front of his full-length mirror, fiddling with his tie. He was eager to see what she'd picked out for the day when she sauntered out of his walk-in, barefoot.
Wearing a dress that screamed her happiness. With him.
It wasn't like any dress he'd seen her wear before. He eyed the cuts in the fabric over her chest which moved tantalizingly over her skin, hinting at the valley between her breasts. As his gaze moved down tracing her beautiful figure, he felt his jaw drop at the length of the slits on the sides of her dress - also cut in a similar style to the front - that reached almost up to the top of her legs, baring the smooth skin of her thighs to his gaze.
He smirked at her when she finally reached him, his eyebrows going up as she stepped closer to him.
Donna bit her lip and grinned up at him through her lashes.
"You're staring," she said, her hands reaching up to straighten his collar before moving to his tie.
"I can't help it," he said, his palms reaching for her waist to pull her closer. He let his gaze trail down deliberately before meeting her own. "Is this new?"
"It is," Donna confirmed, straightening the knot in his tie before her arms slipped around his neck. "I ordered it on the morning after we..."
"Banged it out all night?" he teased, moving her further into his embrace.
"Mmhmm," she nodded. "My guy brought it to me last night."
"Hmmm," he said, as he reached one hand to gently trace at one of the openings in the front of her dress.
Her breath hitched when his fingertip grazed the sensitive skin between her breasts, and he grinned at her before pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
"I know what you're doing, you know," he said, lightly, stepping away and reaching for his jacket. "It won't work."
"What am I doing?" she asked, her face a picture of innocence.
"The same thing you tried to do in the shower," he said, pointedly.
She'd followed him into the shower moments after he'd left her on the bed and he knew he was done for.
He'd been in the middle of lathering his chest, when she'd stepped behind him, her hands briefly brushing across his waist. When he'd turned around, though, she ducked his arms, telling him that she wanted to shower on her own.
"We're already running late, Harvey. We should just do this on our own. But," she said, placing her palms on his chest, "I could be persuaded otherwise if you answer my question."
"What question?"
She stepped closer, her breasts now almost pressing against his chest, "Did your dreams involve us like this?"
He laughed and leaned closer to her upturned face, "Still not telling."
"Fine. Then you don't get to touch," she pouted, pushing at him lightly to emphasize her point.
She'd then proceeded to subject him to a slow and torturous show as she began to lather herself. He watched quietly as she slid her palms across her neck and down to her stomach, before coming to rest over her breasts.
She shot him a sly grin which turned into a triumphant giggle when he reached forward with his arm outstretched, "Late, remember? No touching, tiger."
He shot her a mischievous grin of his own, before calmly stepping around her and reaching for the sliding door of his shower.
"I wasn't going to."
Her frustrated groan followed him as he exited the bathroom.
Donna: 0, Harvey: 1
It was disheartening, Donna thought, how a day could be turned on its head. So much for spending the day teasing the truth out of her boyfriend; instead, she and Harvey had found themselves scrambling once again to protect the firm from its latest intruder.
But, perhaps, all was not lost. They still had the rest of the evening. And maybe, she could still put this dress to its intended use.
After they'd talked about Thomas, that is.
They hadn't had a chance to speak since he'd returned from seeing Thomas and she was anxious to hear what had transpired between the two men.
Happy as she was now, a part of her regretted that Thomas had been collateral damage in her misguided quest to cut Harvey out of her life and that he'd been hurt because of her inability to understand her own heart.
And then, there was Harvey who, despite it being her fault, had shouldered the blame for it all, and spent what could have been his last day at work trying to save her from taking the fall. She couldn't even begin to imagine what it had cost him to approach Thomas and beg him to protect her, knowing that all hope was lost for him.
All he seemed to care about was you.
She doubted there would be any animosity between Harvey and Thomas. Harvey had liked Thomas, respected him, even. He had been just as regretful as her at the prospect of having to impose on Thomas' kindness, again.
Now, they were back at his apartment, her favorite order from Gianno's, and a bottle of red wine between them. By unspoken agreement, they kept to other topics as they ate: Robert's name coming down and Samantha's struggle with it, and their suspicions that Louis might try to pull something risky to get rid of Faye.
"Well?" she asked, biting into the last of her pizza.
Harvey sighed and took a large gulp of wine before replying, "It went as well it could, Donna. He's agreed to come back to the firm."
"He has?"
"Yes. And he wants me to represent him."
"What?"
He didn't immediately respond but stood up to clear their plates, while Donna sat frozen in her place.
Harvey representing the man for whom she'd nearly risked his license and career over?
How was he supposed to do that without resenting her?
She stood up and rounded the counter, stepping close to the sink where he was rinsing their plates.
"Harvey, are you sure about this?"
"He didn't give me much of a choice," he said, turning to meet her anxious gaze. "He doesn't trust Alex, anymore."
"But, it was your client that…"
"I know," he broke their gaze, and Donna saw his face grow tense.
"Harvey, what are you not telling me? Why does Thomas want you to represent him?"
"Donna, answer me this, first. Did you tell him about us?"
"Not explicitly," she replied. "I didn't want to hurt him even more than I already had. I told him that I couldn't give him what he deserved, because it wasn't mine to give anymore. And I think he understood what that meant."
Harvey smiled gently and took her hand, leading her to the couch in his living room. Once they'd situated themselves, he pulled her into his embrace.
"Harvey, please. What happened?" she pressed, once she'd settled in his arms.
"He was reluctant at first," he said, quietly. "He felt that we'd betrayed his trust. I had to remind him that I had broken privilege for him to protect his company from going under. But he knew that I had technically done that for…"
"Me," she said. "You know, I never really told you how sorry I was that I put you in that position."
"Because you don't have to," he said, softly. "You were happy with him, and you needed to put your happiness first."
She shook her head, "No, it's what I told myself I needed to do. I'd given up any hope of you wanting me that way, and so I made a choice that I thought would help me get over you. For good." She felt him flinch at that, and she pressed a soothing kiss to his lips. "It was a futile effort, Harvey. Yes, he made me happy, but not as happy as I wanted to be."
"Donna.."
"You were about to lose everything, because of a choice I'd made in a fit of misguided impulse, and you didn't even care about that. Instead, you went to him and asked him to point the finger at you."
"You know about that?" he asked, stunned.
"I do. Thomas came to see me the next morning, and he told me then. He wanted to know what it meant. He couldn't understand why you went out of your way to save me when your own neck was on the line. The more he told me about what you were doing, the more I realized how much I'd misread and misunderstood you. And it killed me. That's when I decided that I couldn't come to the hearing. Watching you lose everything over something I'd forced you to do - I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."
"I wanted you there, though," he said, swiping at the tears that had slid down her cheeks. "I knew I'd already lost any chance to be with you like this when I saw how happy you seemed to be with Thomas. And as much as that killed me, I was happy you were happy. But once I realized that I was losing you for good, I couldn't wait anymore."
"You could never lose me, not when every bit of me is tied irrevocably to you. I realized that regardless of whether you felt that way about me, I couldn't go on being with Thomas. Not when my heart was never going to be along for the ride. And he deserved someone who could give him that."
Harvey tightened his grip on her, and they lay in silence for a few minutes. Donna's fingers moved gently across his chest before undoing the top button of his shirt and slipping inside.
"He wanted to know who you were to me," he said, finally.
Her fingers stopped moving under his shirt, and she sat up to stare at him.
"And?"
"The answer I gave him is what made him decide to stay with us."
"Which was?"
Donna felt her breath hitch at the look that crossed his face
"I told him you were the most important person in my life."
His answer, so different from her own reply, when Thomas had asked her the same thing made her heart sing.
And she lunged.
She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him to her. Her tongue swiped against the bow of his lips, and he responded eagerly meeting her with a matching fervor that had her clinging to the back of his neck for support.
She shifted against him and groaned when the restrictive cut of her dress prevented her from fully straddling him.
He grinned at her impatience, his fingers tracing the exposed skin of her thigh, "So, admit it, did you choose this dress to torture me all day?"
She glared at him, "Maybe? Did it work?"
"You tell me. Did you get your answer?"
"No," she said, reluctantly. "But, know this, Mister, I would have if this infernal mess hadn't cropped up."
He laughed, "You know, I think you already know the answer."
"I do?"
"Mmhmm. Like I told you, I dreamed of us being together, and since being together usually involved sex..."
She grinned, "I know. I just wanted to hear you say it."
"Now, it's your turn. Did you dream of us being together?"
"Now that would be telling," she shot back, sliding off the couch and moving towards the bedroom.
"Donna!"
Author's Notes: Please let me know what you think. I wasn't all too sure about posting this, but I hope you all liked it.
Reviewers will get to choose between a clean-cut, three-piece clad Harvey, or a deliciously rumpled, scruffy quarantine Harvey to spend the day with. ;)