AN: I'll keep this brief but hey, guys! This is my first fanfic, I wanted to write this for a variety of reasons so I did! I know this site and/or fandom is kind of dead, or at least not as active as a few years back but hopefully, there are some of you out there. Feel free to review, I would love to get constructive criticism. Okay, carry on.

"I missed you so much, Gwen."

I giggled as I looked into those deep, obsidian eyes. "I missed you too, so much."

Courtney and I were suddenly back at Camp Wawanakwa, sitting on the bottom bunk of those crappy bunk beds that Chris deemed good enough to sleep in.. that sick bastard. Courtney was sitting with her legs crossed on the bed facing me. I looked at her—she's looked so beautiful.

She bit her lip, she clearly had something she wanted to say. As I looked into her eyes, I saw an array of emotions—anxiety, shame and.. lust?

"Courtney, what's going on? You look like you have something to say", I said chuckling a bit to ease the tension that had suddenly filled the cabin.

"Yeah, I do… Urggh! I don't really know how to say this. I'm just really happy we've gotten close again. And.. Urgh! Why is this so hard? ", Courtney grunted.

I chuckled a bit more. She's so adorable when she's upset. The way those little freckles on the bridge of her nose stood out when she scrunched her nose.

"I…I think I get what you're trying to say", I whispered as I licked my lips while I set my sights on hers.

She looked at me confused, "You do?"

"Yeah, I do." I suddenly leaned forward and latched my lips onto hers. I dug my fingers into her soft hair and caressed her cheek. I felt her tense under me and kept my eyes shut, hoping she would melt into the kiss.

And she did.

At first, the kiss was slow and soft but as time passed, it became more urgent— more lustful.

"…Gwen", she moaned.

I laid her down on the bed, all while still keeping my lips attached to hers. My curiosity peaked and my wandering hands made their way under the hem of Courtney's blouse. I ended the kiss and begun to leave little love bites and kisses on her neck.

I was so out of breath, but suddenly oxygen was something I cared little about. I managed to speak as I panted for more air, "you don't know how long I've wanted this". My hands traced her every curve.

The C.I.T arched her back to give me more access to her body, "Gwen… Gwen, don't stop."

My hands made their way lower and lower and..

"BEEP! BEEP!"

I frantically slammed my hand on the nightstand in an attempt to shut off that godforsaken bitch of an alarm. After a few seconds, I managed to hit the OFF button and quickly covered my head with my pillow. It was mostly to cover myself from the rays of sun peeking out the shutters of my bedroom window, but also partly so I could continue my weird, fucked up wet dream about my boyfriend's ex.

—-Wait.

I had a dream about my boyfriend's ex, my former best friend. And.. and a dirty one. What the hell is wrong with me?

My eyes opened suddenly as I realized the events that just occurred. I snaked my hand under the panties I was wearing—I was soaking wet. I took the blanket off my body, hopped out of bed, and rushed to take a shower.

I felt so dirty. I knew that Courtney and I weren't on good terms but to think of her in that way.. Why was I thinking of her in that way?!

I gathered my toiletries and towel and made my way to the bathroom. Thankfully, my brother wasn't hogging the bathroom like he usually does. I quickly stripped out of my pajamas, threw them in the laundry hamper, and stepped inside the shower. I began to adjust the temperature. I've always like my water to be a little on the hotter side; most people would say it burns but I kind of like it. I dipped my head under the showerhead and ran my fingers through my hair as I stood there trying to decipher my dream.

It's not unusual that my thoughts drift to Courtney. It's been a year since TDWT and I couldn't help but feel guilty when I think back to that fucking season. I mean I got together with Duncan and that's cool, I guess. A lot of people had my back throughout that whole "boyfriend kisser" situation, but there were a lot of people that didn't. I've gotten emails and people on the street that called me a backstabber. But it wasn't true! Duncan and Courtney weren't even together when Duncan and I kissed! At least, that's what I kept telling myself whenever those feelings of guilt gnawed away at my heart.

Despite everything, all the opinions on who was right and who was wrong, one thing was certain: I had hurt the feelings of the preppy C.I.T. The strong-minded, hardworking girl was brought to tears over something I did. She was my close friend..

"BAM BAM!"

"Gwen! You've been in there for like an hour, I need to use the bathroom!", my brother exclaimed as he pounded at the door.

"Give me like ten minutes bro!" I rushed to double condition my hair and lather my body. I stepped out of the shower, fog trailing behind me. I quickly dried myself off and wrapped the towel around my body. I stood in front of the sink and looked at the mirror. I grabbed my toothbrush and began to brush my teeth.

It was just a weird dream. People have those all the time, it doesn't have to mean something. It was just a silly dream. I just felt guilty about Courtney and it was manifesting in a strange, intimate way because I'm intimate with Duncan—and they dated, that's why I got confused. Yep, that seems about right. It probably won't happen again..

I supposed that should've comforted me but instead it didn't. It made me a bit sad..

"Urgh, forget this!"

I'm way too in my head. I spit out the toothpaste, rinsed my mouth, and put my toothbrush away. As soon as I opened the door, I was met with my brother with his toiletries and towel in hand.

"Took you long enough" he muttered.

"Bite me" I replied.

I was just not in the mood today. All the constant back and forth in my head was starting to give me a headache. I walked back to my room, put my toiletries away. I was going to blow dry my hair but at this point, I just couldn't be bothered. I dried my hair as much as I could with my towel and fixed my hair into a messy bun. I grabbed a pair of black panties and a matching bra and chose to wear something casual today. I put on a black graphic oversized t-shirt that paid tribute to Metallica—technically Duncan's but whatever—and some black leggings.

I went downstairs, only to find my mom whisking away in the kitchen. "I'm just finishing some eggs dear but there are pancakes and bacon already set on the table", she said.

Despite my mom and I being completely different— me being goth and her, well, the opposite of that—I smiled and felt grateful to have a mom like her. She always took care of my brother and me and accepted me as I was. Not a lot of people could say that.

"Thanks, mom" I said as I sat down at the dining table. I took a plate and took two pancakes from the stack that was on the table as well as three strips of bacon. I put a bit of maple syrup on my plate and dug in. "Mmm", yeah this is what I needed.

My mom brought out a small plate of scrambled eggs to the table as my brother came down the stairs. They both sat down and we began to eat in silence. My thoughts started drifting back to Court—

"So Gwen dear, what do you have planned to do now that school's out?"

I pondered a bit as I thought of an answer to my mom's question. "Honestly, I'm not sure. Maybe I'll get a job. I do need to buy a new canvas and paint. So, I don't know, maybe I'll do that" I said.

Honestly, I'm not really sure. I was so focused on getting accepted to my dream college over the course of senior year, I didn't really think of what I would do for the summer. Thankfully, I got accepted. I smiled to myself. I remembered how happy I was getting that acceptance email…

I finished my food and started gathering my plate and utensils to bring to the kitchen sink.

As I got up, my mom exclaims, "oh Gwen, there was a letter for you in the mailbox this morning. It's on top of the kitchen counter." That's weird, I usually don't get any mail.

My mom started a conversation with my brother so I walked away and started washing the dish and cutlery I used. I dried my hands on the hand towel by the sink and grabbed the letter off the counter.

"From: The producers of Total Drama"

Oh, the universe has got to be fucking with me.

I opened the letter and skimmed through its contents. Apparently, Chris's prison sentence finished so the producers want to film a new season of Total Drama with some of the new cast and some with the original cast.

Would Courtney be there? Of course, she would. If I was invited, those sick fucks at Total Drama would definitely invite her too to start some drama.

I decided to call Duncan to see if he was invited too. Although, if I knew Chris McLean, Duncan would be there—"more drama"!

I grabbed my phone and dialed. I waited through a couple of rings and suddenly I heard Duncan's voice say, "Hey babe".

"Hey, quick question. Did you get a letter this morning? Maybe from a certain fame-crazed, sadistic asshole?"

"McLean? Yeah, does he actually think anyone's going to that show again after the whole island was covered in toxic waste?"

"I mean in the letter it says that the whole island was cleaned up so I'm guessing it's safe…"

"Wait—do you actually want to back to that hellhole?"

Did I?

This guilt that kept washing over me about Courtney is just going to constantly gnaw at me until I do something about it. And I do miss her—as a friend, of course. She wasn't actually that bad as people make her out to be, she was actually really sweet. Plus, if I make amends with her, everyone would stop harassing me! I would have both her and Duncan by my side and go to my dream college guilt-free!

"Yeah, I think I do. I mean the prize money is a million dollars—and I've gotten so close before!" I exclaim.

I heard Duncan sigh, "Well, I guess that's true and, I mean, if you're going, I'll go too."

I didn't want Duncan to know I was going mostly for Courtney. I also didn't want him to think he had to go with me, he would actually make it harder for me to mend my friendship with the C.I.T.…

"You don't have to if you don't want to. You'll see a lot of people you might not want to see…" I really hope he got the hint and just stayed his ass home.

"Who? You mean Courtney? Babe, I don't care if she yells at me for being with you. She doesn't scare me. Plus, I'll be there to protect you from her craziness." I heard him chuckling at that last part and can practically see the smirk on his face.

He spoke up again, "So when do we leave anyway?"

I noticed I didn't actually pay attention to that detail in the letter. I grabbed it again from the counter and read out loud, "Contestants must call to confirm their participation as soon as this letter is received. Departure to the island will take place on June 28th. Transportation to the airport will be provided. Wait, when's that?" I ran to the calendar on the wall in the kitchen that my mother got for free at the supermarket. It was a puppy calendar, so I kept it up—even I can't resist them. "The 28th is this Sunday, so five days from now…"

I almost forgot Duncan was on the line as he chuckled, "I guess we've got five days to pack, babe. Make sure you pack something sexy for me."

Sometimes I find him so annoying. "Goodbye, Duncan." I said as I rolled my eyes.

I was about to end the call when I heard him shout, "Love you, babe!"

I knew he was being light-hearted about it but it made me a bit uncomfortable hearing that. I casually replied, "yeah, yeah. Fuck off."

I quickly ended the call and thought about how everything's changed now from receiving that one letter. I have a chance. I have a chance to fix everything and I wasn't going to let it slip away.

I told my mom about my decision and she supported it, of course. I ran upstairs and called those at Total Drama to let them know I would be participating and began to pack. I was actually feeling a bit excited about this.

I looked for my luggage, placed it open on the bed, and began to throw articles of clothes inside. I opened my drawer and saw a lacy, purple panty and bra set I've never worn. It was beautiful and sexy and so not something I would wear but when I saw it, I just had to buy it. I've never worn it. I never felt that there was an occasion with Duncan when I wanted to use it—the moment was never right. I looked at it one last time and threw it in the luggage. Maybe my perfect moment will come.