Thanks for reading! I don't own Fairy Tail or the Pradesh Family, they belong to Hiro Mashima and Desna, respectively!
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"So, about your guild mark…"
Lucy frowned. She wasn't stupid, she knew her guild mark had to be removed. She just didn't think about it, and now that the Master was standing over her on her last day in the guild, ready to remove it, she realized how painful it would be to watch him do it.
"Y-yeah… I guess you have to take it. Now?"
"Nah, Blondie. We'll do it later - but you are gonna need a new one," Laxus told her from the other side of the bed. She'd been feeling significantly better after two more healing sessions from Chelia and excessive amounts of sleep yesterday, but they'd insisted she remain on bed rest. It was annoying, but she accepted their over protectiveness without much fuss. After all, it was likely the last time in a long while - or probably ever - that they would have the chance to baby her like this. She'd let them have it.
"What do you mean, new one?" Lucy asked in surprise, looking back and forth between Laxus and Gramps (her lack of a second eye forcing her to swing her head back and forth almost comically), the latter of which grinned.
"You don't think we'd send you off without our mark on you, did you? Lucy, you're still a Fairy. You always will be. We just have to make sure your mark is less… visible. For the purposes of your mission."
Lucy felt tears of happiness threaten to escape her tight hold on them, but like she had done so many times in the last day, she forced them back, instead giving a small heartfelt smile.
"Thank you, Master" Lucy reached for his hand, but missed. Damn depth perception. Makarov met her halfway and squeezed her hand.
"So where shall we put it, and what color? I want to do this now so you and Virgo will have time before you depart to find clothes that will ensure it remains hidden."
Lucy couldn't help but think about how thoughtful the old man was.
Leaning back and releasing Makarov's hand, Lucy thought through her options before settling on what she thought was best. Before making the decision, she requipped Virgo's key and called her forth, "Virgo!".
Said maid spirit appeared quickly, holding out several articles of clothing, "I took the liberty of bringing you some options, Princess. Punishment?"
Lucy had long gotten over her embarrassment of Virgo asking her for punishment at every summon. While she'd at first believed it to be a hold-over from the cruelty she experienced at the hands of the ever-so-slimy Duke Everlue, she had realized over time that the maid spirit actually just craved punishment from those she trusted (and in fact had never asked for it from the creepy Duke). She'd spoken to Virgo about it before, and while she wasn't entirely comfortable with it, she had told the pink-haired spirit that she would indulge her from time to time.
"Yes, Virgo. Come here," Lucy answered, and the maid spirit bounded toward her keyholder excitedly.
"Hold out your arm," Lucy commanded gently. She never liked doing this, but she wouldn't deny Virgo much of anything. The spirit had always been there for her and she would do anything to make sure she was happy. Virgo complied with Lucy's request happily, holding her right arm out over the bed while standing next to Makarov.
Lucy reached forward and pinched her forearm lightly enough that it could barely hurt, and Virgo's excitement was almost palpable.
"Thank you, Princess!" she shouted gleefully.
Lucy was just glad that both Gramps and Laxus had witnessed this before, or she'd have been seriously embarrassed. The first time they'd witnessed it had lead to the most awkward of conversations between the three, Laxus grumbling, Gramps confused, and Lucy adamantly explaining that it wasn't sexual in any way.
The celestial mage simply nodded to her spirit before speaking to her once more, "No problem, Virgo," she smiled, "I did actually want your thoughts on this though."
Lucy gestured to her recently unbandaged side, at the slightly lightened scar that rested under her ribcage where she'd received the most extensive of her many injuries.
"Do you think we could cover this if I put my new mark here?"
Virgo nodded excitedly, and Makarov and Laxus looked at her somewhat surprised. She'd always bared her midriff in her outfits, since she ran away from her father. Placing the mark there would limit that pretty severely.
"Of course, Princess," Virgo said enthusiastically, holding out a dark purple bundle of fabric. She usually lost her stoicism a little bit after Lucy gave in and 'disciplined' her, and as odd as it was for Lucy to punish her friend, she always loved seeing her with a little more life in her eyes.
Lucy grabbed the clothing and held it in front of her while Virgo explained, "Try that on, Princess. I believe this cut will suit your needs perfectly with the placement of the mark you're considering."
Hopping up - a little bit slowly still, not wanting to risk aggravating any of the few remaining injuries - she walked to the bathroom and pulled the fabric over her head and settled it on her torso, pulling at the bottom hem to test the length. It was tight fitting, and reached down to just above her belly button and even when she twisted and moved, it didn't ride up. It covered more skin than she was used to, but she still got to show off her lower abdominal muscles and the belly button piercing she'd gotten last year, so she thought it was acceptable.
Stepping back into the main room, she looked at the three people waiting in the infirmary.
"So?"
"Blondie, you look fine. So you want the mark over your scar? Why?"
Lucy clamored back into bed, still in the shirt she'd received from Virgo paired with the fuzzy pajama pants she'd yet to change out of, and scrambled under the covers slightly. She shrugged at her pseudo-brother.
"It's a reminder, I guess. Of what I've overcome, and who I'm fighting for…" she said quietly. Laxus placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Alright, Lu. Gramps?"
"Right. I'll place it there, Lucy. What color?"
Lucy lifted her shirt enough that the stamp could be placed on her skin, and responded, "Dark Purple? Like the shirt? Virgo, you did a great job, I actually really love this color."
Virgo cracked the smallest of smiles at the compliment as Makarov nodded and placed the mark on her master's skin.
"Am I needed for anything else, Princess?" Virgo inquired.
"Actually," Lucy inspected her new mark before lowering the shirt again, "can you get me some maps of Fiore and the surrounding kingdoms? Hell, maybe even Alakitasia, who knows where this guild might be? Some research books on celestial magic? I'll need reference and travel books for the different regions too…" she continued on with a list of items for Virgo to obtain, talking for two solid minutes while Virgo just nodded after each item. "Crux will likely be able to help you find what I need, he told me he'd allow me to borrow items from his library if I needed so maybe check in with him?"
Virgo agreed to this, saying simply, "Of course. I shall go at once to fetch the items you've requested. Please allow me time to track it all down."
She bowed before disappearing in a shower of golden sparkles.
"So, you're really going then…"
Lucy lowered her head at Laxus' softly spoken comment. "You know I have to, Lax. I'm sorry." She gripped at the bedsheets roughly.
"We know, child. Don't forget our terms," He added that last bit almost scoldingly.
"Of course, Gramps." She still couldn't look at either of them.
Laxus grabbed her hand and turned it over, placing a small communications lacrima in her palm. "Every week," he reminded her, running his free hand through his wild hair.
"Every week," she agreed, gripping the com tightly.
After Laxus and Makarov had left, Lucy had little to do but plan, and think, and wait for Virgo to return. As the time went by Lucy couldn't help but recognize that these moments were the last she would spend as a member of Fairy Tail - well, at least the last hours that she would spend with her guild. The fact that she was still technically a member wasn't enough: while she found strength in remaining connected to everyone, it meant very little when they all hated her and she wouldn't be able to see them. Most likely never again. The thought was a sobering one.
She thought little on her injuries, but she did think quite a bit about the man that had inflicted them. The man she was now giving up her life as she knew it to track down. The anger she felt towards that man, Alec Cinder (what a stupid name), was unbelievable. A kind of anger she'd not felt for anyone before. Not even Minerva, who'd almost killed her in front of all of Crocus. Not even for Jackal, who'd almost killed Natsu and had forced Aquarius to sacrifice herself (and that level of anger, she had thought it was unsurpassable). The kind of raging fury she felt now was an entirely new experience for the celestial mage, who before would have easily forgiven most anyone for most anything. No, the master of Fallen Star (again with that stupid fucking name) would never earn forgiveness from Lucy, it was simply an impossibility. He'd sacrificed his own teammate, his own teammate, without hesitation for something as minor as kidnapping Lucy.
She vowed to herself that the man was going to pay, no matter what. Lucy knew if she got the opportunity, she would murder him with the same lack of hesitation he'd displayed as he'd slain his own comrade. And that thought scared her, made her fear the changes she'd undergone, but at the same time only increased her hatred of the man for being the cause of such a change in who she was and how far she was willing to go.
Lucy was still deep in her thoughts when Virgo returned some time later, armfuls of reference materials in her hands: paper, pens, a bag stuffed full of clothing, books, and other items. And she wasn't alone.
"Princess, what are you doing?"
Lucy turned her attention to the spikey-haired lion spirit that had summoned himself, holding the remainder of the books Virgo hadn't been able to carry. He sounded disappointed, even a little frustrated, and that honestly surprised her. She'd just spoken with him the previous evening and everything had seemed okay.
"What do you mean, Loke?"
The spirit glared at her, setting down the few items he held in his hands and crossing his arms over his chest, "You know what I mean. Why are you volunteering for a mission, on your own, that you know will put you in danger?"
"Where is this coming from? Didn't you know about this already?"
Loke tapped the side of his head, "Seems that now your magic is back at full strength, you're unconsciously feeding that special new bond we've got. I know what you're planning."
Lucy blanched. If she felt around her magical containers and really focused, she could tell there was a tiny drain on it from maintaining a connection to Loke. Now that she focused on it, she felt frustration, anger, and worry coming from his side of the bond. Not individual thoughts, but she imagined that was likely because he was more aware of the bond and was not actively projecting his thoughts into her head.
She sighed, "It's my call, Leo," she spat out. The spirit flinched, and Virgo took that as her cue to leave, mumbling a goodbye as she disappeared. Lucy didn't call him Leo, not ever. She knew it reminded him of Karen, and that it still caused him pain in the form of memories he'd rather not relive.
Lucy continued, ignoring the pain that flashed through his eyes at the mention of his real name, "I'm doing what I have to do. I won't let anyone else get hurt for my sake-"
She was cut off when Loke stormed across the room and got in her face, staring into her eyes.
He looked more menacing than she'd ever seen him. That kind of glare wasn't something he ever sent her way.
"What the hell do you mean, it's your call?" he spoke quietly, but the anger in his voice was unmistakable. "Do you have any idea what the rest of us were going through watching you die? Listen up, princess, because I'm only saying this once, and I expect you to remember it."
Lucy gulped, but didn't look away from him, "Your recklessness is hurting us, hurting me. For over two fucking years we have watched you push yourself past your limits, to the point of nearly dying, draining your magic energy and throwing yourself into battles you have no business being in, and forcing us - and Natsu - to cover for you. I swore to protect you, Lucy, and now that you requip your keys I'm the only one who can ever reach you when you refuse to allow us to help!"
Loke violently pushed his fingers through his disheveled hair, "and then, the one time you do call for us, you go and push yourself so hard against that snake chick that our gates closed when we could have helped you take them down. Because of that, you were too weak to prevent those assholes from taking you, and torturing you, and nearly ending your life!"
The spirit was pacing back and forth. He hated having this conversation with her, but her guilt over Aquarius had pushed her so far that she was being reckless. And this dumbass scheme she was concocting now was only going to get her killed.
"And we couldn't even help you. We were powerless, even I could only materialize to save Makarov. I had to defend him while I watched you, laying on the ground covered in blood, certain you would die, and there was nothing I could do. You have no idea what that was like."
The lion spirit sat down heavily on the bed next to his keyholder, and locked his gaze with hers.
"So no, Lucy," he said, more gently now as he grasped her hand, "It's not just your call. Not anymore. Because your calls these days have put you into the danger we've sworn to protect you from."
Not taking his eyes from hers, he spoke softly once again, "And there is no way, not a chance in hell, I will let you go through with taking on that guild without Fairy Tail's help. I can't believe you would even consider breaking your promise to Makarov to call them for help when you find them."
Lucy wanted to defend herself, to say he was wrong. But she really couldn't. She wanted to be mad at Loke for listening in on plans she had not yet even fully committed to, but it was her own fault for not recognizing she had opened their new bond again.
She'd pushed them all away, all of her spirits, after Aquarius. She called on them only when she had no other option, and if she really thought about it, Loke had been forced to save her time and again by using his own magic to come to Earthland. After everything, she just wanted to be strong enough not to need them to risk themselves anymore.
She just wanted to be strong enough to protect them, but apparently, even that was beyond her reach. She was hopeless. Both she and Loke knew it.
"So you think I'm weak, too…" She finally muttered after several minutes of uncomfortable silence.
Exasperated, Loke threw his hands in the air and sighed. "Ugh, women!" he shouted, turning away from the bed and pacing back and forth after standing up suddenly from the bed.
"You're an idiot!" he shouted at her, rolling his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.
Genuinely shocked by his words, Lucy glanced up at her spirit once more. He had never called her a name that wasn't associated with blatant flirting.
"Uhm… What?"
The spirit stopped pacing and turned his shoulders to face her, "You heard me. You're an idiot. You aren't weak, Lucy. You're the strongest celestial spirit wielder that has ever existed, apart from Anna maybe. And you have the potential to be so much better. If you'd stopped launching yourself headlong into dangerous situations to escape your emotional pain, you'd be unstoppable. Even old man Gildarts couldn't hold a candle to the magical potential you have. Do you even realize how fucking impressive that is?"
Lucy looked surprised, but doubtful. If she was that impressive she could have protected Aquarius. Could have protected her guild three days ago when they were attacked because of their association with her.
"Lucy, look at me," Loke had approached again, grabbing her chin gently and forcing her eyes up to look at him, "You're a celestial wizard. Our strength is your strength, and we are here to help you. No matter what, because we all love you. But for the last two years, you haven't allowed us to help you, and you've thrown yourself so hard into 'making it up to Aquarius that you haven't stopped to consider what she would think of you throwing your life away. Or what the rest of us would think, for that matter. You've undoubtedly gotten stronger, princess, but if you handicap yourself and refuse to call on us, you'll never be as strong as you can be."
He released her chin and stood up, crossing his arms, "You're pulling away from your friends in the guild, and I think you know that. But have you realized how much you've pulled away from your spirits? We miss you."
Lucy listed to his soft voice, taking comfort in his words. He didn't think she was powerless. He just wanted to help. While she still doubted that she was as strong as he was trying to convince her she was, she did know that she was infinitely stronger with her spirits than going alone. And she was an idiot for even considering going after that dark guild alone.
That didn't change what she needed to do, but she knew she needed to at the very least stick to the terms she'd agreed to with Gramps. She'd get stronger, and she'd go off on her own, to protect her family, but she could at least allow them to help when she was ready. If they'd still want to.
She felt guilt stab at her heart for neglecting her spirits. The heaviness in her heart only increased when she considered that she hadn't even noticed.
"You… You think the others will forgive me? I've been a terrible friend, and an even worse keyholder…" Lucy asked him, looking down at her hands in shame.
Arms wrapped around her shoulders as Loke leaned down and hugged her gently, "You idiot. You're still an amazing keyholder, Lucy, and we all love you. We're just so worried."
She nodded into his shoulder, one solitary tear escaping her eye (very much against her will) as she hugged him close. "I-I'm sorry…" she spoke softly, "For calling you Leo…"
Chuckling, he pulled away. "Don't worry about it, Luce."
It was her turn to flinch, hearing the nickname only Natsu used. Thinking about her pink-haired partner hurt, considering she likely only hours away from never seeing him again. She supposed she deserved the jab, though, and she shrugged it off.
"I'll follow the terms Master and I agreed to," she told him, "but that still means I'm leaving. To protect everyone."
Nodding, he mumbled, "I know." Loke tucked her head under his chin as he settled at her side.
Lucy smiled. For the first time since the attack, she felt some relief. She wasn't going alone after all. She'd just forgotten that half of her family resided on her hip (or in her requip space these days, but her point remains).
"Toss me those reference materials would you?" she asked quietly, pulling away from his embrace, "And then go home, you look like hell," she said to Loke. And she wasn't wrong. He still looked exhausted.
He smiled back at her, glad to finally see that spark in her eyes that he'd missed for the last few years returned, albeit slowly. He sauntered over to where the pile of maps and books sat abandoned, and carefully stacked them at the foot of her bed so she could reach them. When he was done, he raised a hand in farewell and stepped back through his gate, disappearing in a flash of golden magic.