Readers, welcome to the last chapter of Lucy in Magnolia (at least for a while)!
And this should be the last majorly sad chapter in a bit, so we can all sigh in relief at news of upcoming happiness. Yay!
Please review, tell me what you think about how things are going!
She didn't know why she hadn't anticipated it, but removing her mark was so fucking painful.
Well, honestly, she had anticipated it. But somehow, it managed to be harder than she thought it would be. It was ten times worse than her worst imaginings had prepared her for. At least.
She was ready for anger. Betrayed looks. Scathing remarks. The same kind of shit she'd been spewing at her guildmates since she started this farce. That, she could have handled.
This? It was like confronting Gray, and Erza, and Natsu all over again. All at once.
But, after coming this far, she couldn't break down. Crying about it would tell them that she cared - and this character she was forcing herself to play for them, she couldn't care. Not if her plan was going to work. Not if she was going to protect them from getting hurt because of her. Again.
She pushed all her second thoughts to the side, ignoring the pain she felt completely, and focused only on the injuries that still showed their signs on the bodies of her guildmates. Mira, she'd made it in. She had bandages wrapped around a few places on her body where the Earth-Make wizard had caught her, and looked exhausted. Still sporting dark circles from the venom that was recently purged from her body.
That same exhausted, pale, sickly look was actually still showing up on several of her guildmates. She used it. Focused only on that, on the pain she'd brought to their doorstep once again - and she squared her shoulders, borrowed Laxus's signature scowl, and walked the rest of the way to the balcony railing to face her peers.
Laxus made his way down the stairs to stand at the door while Master Makarov joined Lucy on the balcony, so everyone could see when her guild mark was wiped from her hand like it never existed.
She thought she was ready.
She was very, very wrong.
Because, when she finally focused on the people she'd called family for twelve years, what she saw wasn't anger. Well, anger was present, sure. But the most potent emotion that hit her when she observed them was overwhelming, inconsolable grief. Despair. The kind of sadness that grips your soul and drags you into darkness. And it was all her fault.
It took everything she had to remain stoic. To keep up the facade that she didn't care. Because causing her family pain was the last thing she ever wanted to do. And yet, she'd done so. She'd convinced herself this was the only option left to keep them safe, and she'd followed through on that plan by forcing Gramps, and Laxus, and Gray to agree with her. In doing so, she'd caused them more pain than she'd seen from the group before her, and it fucking hurt.
She barely registered the words master was saying as he gripped her hand and held it aloft. As he told the masses of her expulsion, that she was leaving, instead focusing on memorizing the faces of her guildmates. She wasn't sure when - or even if - she would see them again.
She searched over and over again, only to finally realize that she wouldn't find them. Because they weren't there.
And that fact nearly broke her. Of her closest friends, she could only find Gajeel, Levy, Panther Lily, and Happy. Not even Levy had remained.
Erza, Jellal, Cana, Wendy, Juvia, Bickslow, Freed, Evergreen, not even Gray - she guessed he decided he couldn't watch her leave knowing the truth.
Not even Natsu.
None of them came to yell at her, to berate her, to scream at her for everything she'd done. Or even to say goodbye.
Lucy was sure, no, she was positive that she couldn't stand to see those things happening in front of her, that the disappointment they would express to her would be debilitating. But honestly, she hadn't expected the pain and misery that came from them not even bothering to do those things. For not even showing up to see their teammate and close friend being exiled from the guild that is known throughout Earthland as a family for those who didn't have one. The intense, broken feeling she got when she realized she didn't matter enough to them for them to even show up to send her off was nearly unbearable.
But she would bear it, to protect them, whether they were here or not. She had to.
So she watched as Makarov waved his hand over hers, watched the pink mark that symbolized the last five years (or twelve, being stuck on Tenrou really throws everything off) of her life, glow softly before disappearing altogether, and with it, every outward sign of being a part of a family went with it.
She walked out of the guild, still sporting a scowl that mostly hid the pain in her eyes, with her head held high and Laxus and Makarov on either side, escorting the 'enemy' outside of Magnolia.
Before she made it out the doors, a sobbing blue exceed crashed into her chest, and just one last time, she discreetly, with one arm, squeezed Happy to tighter to her body briefly, before shoving him aside with a whispered, "Goodbye".
Lucy was silent as she walked along next to her adopted family, leaving everything behind.
After she'd wrestled with her crushing guilt for the last time, she convinced herself that she was no longer allowed to dwell on it. She was so fucking tired of being sad, so she decided she would no longer allow herself to be.
After a few minutes of internal pep-talking (with Loke using the newly formed mental link to chime in on occasion), she found herself feeling better.
The further she walked, the easier it was to shove from her mind. She officially turned her sights, literally and figuratively, from everything she was leaving behind so she could focus on everything that lay before her. 'I've always wanted to be stronger… I guess now is my chance' she thought to herself, smiling just a little bit at having been given the opportunity to train with the strongest man in the guild. Or in the world, maybe. Gildarts was fucking insanely powerful.
Both Laxus and Makarov noticed the change in her, and for the first time didn't feel dread as they prepared her to leave. They were sad, incredibly so, and Laxus was frustrated at the idea of leaving his kin to deal with a dangerous problem on her own, but at the end of they day, they had faith in her. Faith that was growing with every confident step forward that she took. And they would support her with everything they had.
Even if the journey ahead is difficult, she would make the most of it. Of that, they were certain. And they were determined to help her get home as soon as possible.
Arriving at the station, Laxus purchased her a ticket to Crocus. It was the closest rail-connected city to Sabretooth, where she'd head to warn Sting and Yukino of the threat to the Zodiacs before moving on to various parts of the country to train with Gildarts. Even he didn't know exactly where she was heading once she and Gildarts met up in the Waas Forest.
Laxus returned to the other two, handing the paper over to Lucy, who took it with only a slight hesitation, "Thank you."
"You have your com?" he asked, frowning.
"I do," Lucy responded quietly.
"You know how to use it?" Leave it to Gramps to ask the dumb questions.
"Master… Of course I do."
Laxus chimed again, "You know where you're going?"
"Laxus, you're the one with no sense of direction…" Lucy rolled her eyes, then thought that statement through, "Actually, on that note," she studied her ticket closely, confirming he'd purchased one for the correct destination. It was mostly a joke, but him purchasing the wrong ticket wasn't all that far-fetched. In fact, it had happened before.
Laxus scowled at her half-heartedly and she suppressed a smile.
"You remembered your keys?"
"Master," Lucy stared at him blankly, "Seriously? I always have my keys."
"Right, right. My mistake. You'll be careful?"
"Of course. And I'll be in touch," she said, tapping the com lacrima in shorts pocket.
They kept their conversation quiet and kept their distance from one another, so to the outside world they appeared to be acquaintances or enemies, despite the fact that their conversation was anything but hostile.
Lucy had a grip on her ticket, and her other hand clutched her keys for support as she prepared to say goodbye to the last people on her side in all this.
She was about to say thank you to the two men who helped get her this far when Laxus stiffened and grumbled, "Natsu…" while looking over Lucy's shoulder.
Lucy's world came to a halt. For a second she thought the Spirit King had decided to stop by for another visit, then realized it was just her that had frozen and not time itself. She turned around slowly and faced her pink-headed companion, catching the look of sadness and hurt in his eyes before looking back to the Dreyars for guidance as her heart raced.
Makarov simply nodded once, indicating that she should speak to him, before taking a small step back and observing carefully.
She turned back to her best friend, her heart rate beating so loudly in her chest that she was certain he heard it clear as day.
"I'm not here to hurt you…" Natsu muttered. 'Yep, he definitely hears my heartbeat,' she confirmed mentally. Loke didn't chime in, so she assumed he agreed.
"What do you want?" she forced out in a falsely grumpy voice, though it's not as sharp as it probably should have been. She wasn't prepared for this, she thought she was finally free of painful, hurtful goodbyes. 'Damn it, damn it, damn it!'
'Lucy, calm down. You don't have to say anything, just listen and then you can get on the train. You'll regret it if you don't hear him out,' Loke spoke in her mind. She hated that he was right.
Lucy grit her teeth and glared at Natsu.
Natsu flinched a little, but moved his eyes up to meet Lucy's stare. "Look, Luce-Lucy… I-I know that… You're not my b-best friend. I get it. I-it was all a lie to you. But you're leaving, for good, and… I just have to say this, okay? Just listen?"
Lucy took a deep breath and fought to keep a scowl on her face. She nodded once, a quick, jerky movement to indicate he continue, but made no other outward movement.
"You're not my Luce. But I still owe you, or her, or whatever. You used us all, and betrayed us, and convinced us that we were a family just so you could find out some stupid secret. And I'll never, never fucking forgive you for that. I'll never forgive you for hurting Happy. For hurting Erza or Gray, who have lived through so much that they shouldn't have ever had to deal with. But… my Luce taught me a lot. Got me through a lot. Saved my life a lot. And I owe that person. I know it was all a joke to you, some big massive plan to gain our trust, but… I learned so much about how I should be, and who I could be, from you. Well, from who you pretended to be. And while it was fake to you, the last five years were real for me. So… Thank you, I guess. For showing me what a good person looks like. Even if it's not who you really are," he took a shaky breath, and turned on his heel to leave the mostly empty train station.
"Thanks for everything," he said again, over his shoulder, as he turned his back on Lucy and walked away, raising his hand over his head slightly in a dismissive wave.
It took everything she had not to chase after the deceivingly wise, salmon-haired dragon slayer who held her heart. Everything she had. But she stayed strong, her resolve finally firmly in place, knowing that despite everything, her family would be okay without her. They would be safe from the troubles she brought, and they would stay strong despite the betrayal she forced them to suffer through.
She faced the Dreyar men one last time, nodded to them with clear, tear-free eyes, and boarded the train as they looked on with a sad kind of determination in their gaze.
"Goodbye Magnolia… Goodbye Fairy Tail…" Lucy whispered to the closed window as the train pulled from the station, and her old hometown faded from view. The next time she set her eyes on the familiar shapes of Magnolia on the horizon, her family would be safe from the people who set their sights on her. She'd make sure of it.