Your Majesty,
I would advise removing Sir John from the palace by reminding him that his baronetcy was conferred in July with the understanding that he would not show himself in Court. He has violated this understanding by remaining in your mother's close company. It is time for him to leave Buckingham Palace, and you are within your rights to make him freshly aware of the conditions of his baronetcy.
It will be a difficult conversation, Ma'am, and I suggest that you not have your mother present when you bring this up with Sir John. Your mother, of course, will argue that she requires Sir John in her household.
As for Lady Flora - she is your mother's lady-in-waiting and it will be much more difficult to expel her. Your mother is an even tougher nut to crack. As an unmarried woman, even as the monarch, you are expected to continue living with your mother. There is, of course, no law dictating this, but it is certainly the standard to which you are being held. If you choose to send your mother away from Court, there will be a minor scandal. Nothing relevant to Parliament, but certainly the subject of rumours and cartoons in the newspaper.
I have borne many rumours and cartoons and can confirm that they are worth achieving the goals you have in mind. Of course, I was mocked relentlessly for things beyond my control, but I would bear it all again if it meant getting what I wanted. If what you want is a palace free from those who tormented you in your youth, then I would simply tell you that the storm of public scepticism will pass quickly.
This letter grows long, and the night grows late. I shall come tomorrow afternoon, after I leave the House, and we can discuss this at further length.
Best of luck, Ma'am.
William Lamb, Second Viscount Melbourne, loyal to you always.
"Sir John. Thank you for coming."
"Of course, Your Majesty. It is quite a long walk from the other side of the palace, but I hardly mind if it is for an audience with the Queen." He curled his lips up into a sour little smile. Victoria stepped away from her desk and approached Sir John. He was very tall, and she felt shorter than ever as she stared up at him. She remembered all the times he'd mocked her size. He'd told her that she ate like a pig. He'd told her that she was the size of mouse. He'd tried to make her as obedient as a dog. But she was no beast; she was the Queen. His Queen. She sniffed and tipped up her chin and said,
"You were made a baron in July."
"So I was," said Sir John proudly. He tipped his head and said, "For that, I am grateful."
Victoria blinked. "You were made a baron with the understanding that you would no longer show yourself at Court. What happened to that agreement?"
Sir John's little smile faltered. He shook his head and said simply,
"Your mother requires me, Ma'am."
"Well. If that is truly the case, then I see two options," said Victoria, beginning to pace on the Turkish rug. "You may retire from court, content with your baronetcy, as per our arrangement, and leave my mother's household. Or, you and my mother and Lady Flora may go to Kensington Palace, where you will receive an allowance and live in the splendour to which you became so very accustomed."
Sir John's eyes flashed. He tightened his lips and said, "Then you are truly sending me away, Alexandrina?"
"How dare you call me by that name?" Victoria's eyes went wide and she stormed toward Sir John. "How very dare you disrespect your Queen in such a -"
"It was a slip of the tongue, Majesty; it has only been a few months."
"Still, you ought to have always called me Your Royal Highness," Victoria pointed out hotly, "not Alexandrina. You had no right. You never had the right to call me by that name. You are a commoner who weaseled his way into the aristocracy. You convinced Princess Sophia, my mother, my father… you convinced them all that you had value and worth far beyond your social station. And as for me, fool that I am, I have made you a baron. And here you remain, at Buckingham Palace, when you are an unwanted creature. So, yes, Sir John, I am sending you away. Which do you choose? My mother's household at Kensington, or retirement on your own?"
She had her hands on her hips now, and she knew she sounded petulant. She couldn't care. She wanted to sound intimidating, but he always made her feel like a little child. She thought back to the way he'd made her play with his daughter Victoire, presenting her as Victoria's equal. He had kept Feodora at something of a distance, had reined in Lehzen, all because he wanted Victoria to be thoroughly dependent upon him and to need him for support. But she didn't need him, and she didn't want him.
"What do you choose?" Victoria demanded again. Sir John's cheeks went very red, and he finally said,
"I suppose I shall pass along this horrid news to your mother. Her heart will be broken, to be banished from your presence. It was bad enough that you sent her to the opposite side of the palace. To send her back to Kensington… it is too cruel. But she will bear it, for she is a strong woman."
"Yes, you do know her awfully well," Victoria spat. Sir John sighed and narrowed his eyes.
"Not half so well as Lord Melbourne knows you, I think."
"How dare you?" hissed Victoria again. She pointed to the door. "You have our permission to withdraw. Make plans immediately to move my mother's household to Kensington Palace. Go. Now."
"Your Majesty." Sir John bowed and backed towards the door, a deep scowl etched into his features.
Victoria sat on the divan, staring into the fireplace and petting Dash. She had asked to be left alone in the green drawing room, for her mind was racing. She couldn't stop thinking of all the terrible things Sir John Conroy and her mother had done to her under the strict policies at Kensington. It had haunted her mind since her meeting with Sir John this morning.
She had been made to sleep in the same room as her mother until the morning she became Queen. She had never been allowed to be apart from her mother or Sir John, except for her tutors and her governesses. She was never alone, never independent. And so now she sat on the divan and stared at the flames… alone. Independent.
They had insisted at Kensington on hours of lessons per day, but they had been in useless subjects. Victoria had learnt Scripture backward, forward, and inside out. She learnt to be a little lady, how to use her utensils properly and all sorts of good manners, but that had been intended on making her a weak little woman. She had learnt languages, which she supposed was fine in theory, except that she was the Queen of England and her reading and writing were not as strong as they could be.
Her half-brother Carl had always supported Sir John and her mother. The reason why was obvious. Carl wanted their mother to be named Regent. But it didn't work out the way any of them had wanted. Victoria had come of age before her uncle had died, and she had not needed a Regent. Besides, Victoria would have kicked and screamed about the abuses at Kensington before she'd have allowed Sir John anywhere near the throne.
The door opened behind Victoria, and she heard the page call out,
"The Right Honourable Lord Melbourne."
Victoria did not move. She just sighed and looked into the flickering fire, petting Dash, who lay across her lap.
She could feel him behind her as the door shut. He was waiting for her to speak first. Once she knew they were alone, Victoria patted the cushion of the divan beside her and murmured,
"Come sit, will you, Lord M? Down, Dash."
She gently pushed Dash off of her lap, and Dash settled into a circular arrangement on the rug. Lord Melbourne slowly sank onto the divan and said softly,
"Good afternoon, Your Majesty. When I arrived at the palace, the place was abuzz with news that the Duchess of Kent and her household are being moved to Kensington Palace."
"Yes. She came screaming and crying to me a few hours ago, but I told her that Sir John Conroy had chosen to stay in her household and move to Kensington. I gave him that option, or the choice of living without her on his own. I did as you said, Lord M. I reminded him of the conditions of his baronetcy."
"You'll feel very independent now, I think," Lord M said, and Victoria smirked.
"Do you know, I was just thinking the same thing."
She turned towards him, realising just how close he was to her. She whispered to him,
"Any news on Canada?"
"Nothing new of import, Ma'am," said Melbourne. His jade-coloured eyes blazed with something powerful, something Victoria couldn't pin down. Was it want? Did he want her? What did he want?
"Will you tell me?" Victoria asked quietly, "What it is that husbands and wives do?"
Melbourne frowned. "What brings on that question, Ma'am?"
"Well. My Uncle Leopold wants me to marry my cousin Albert. He has wanted it since we were young. I've no intention of taking a husband, not any time soon. But people want me to do so, and I know it is because they want me to produce an heir. I just… there are missing pieces. I don't understand how one goes from marriage to an heir."
"You don't…" Melbourne shut his eyes. "You don't know about the act?"
"The act," Victoria repeated. She shook her head. "No."
Melbourne gave a shaking sigh and opened his eyes. "You know that the Virgin Mary gave birth… to Christ… as a virgin."
"Yes," Victoria nodded.
"Well, that was an anomaly, you see," Melbourne said. "In fact, it's so irregular that she is considered holy for it. Because generally a father needs to… you know, there is an act to produce a child."
"An act. You keep saying that," Victoria nodded. "Is it kissing? Could I be with child, now that you and I have kissed?"
Melbourne snorted a laugh, and Victoria scowled.
"You're laughing at me. Mocking my ignorance."
"I am so sorry, Ma'am." Melbourne huffed a breath. "I do actually remember the way I learnt about all of this. It was… well, let's just say I didn't have much preparation before my wedding night. We ran rather on instinct. So. You learn, with time."
"You are being so very vague," Victoria complained. "You learn about what? What do people do on their wedding nights?"
Melbourne's face went scarlet then, and he visibly gulped beneath his cravat. He shifted where he sat and put his hands on his knees. Finally he met Victoria's eyes and said,
"The woman is the receiver in all of this. What lies betwixt a woman's legs is the vessel."
"The vessel," Victoria said, shaking her head. "Vessel for what?"
"For a man's seed. You've read the Bible. Genesis 38. The story of Onan. It is commonly misconceived to be a story of a man pleasuring himself. In fact, it is a story of a man interrupting that… act… with a woman and wasting his seed. For you see, Ma'am, if a man spills his seed inside of a woman, that is what puts a child on her."
"What is this seed?" Victoria asked. "What does it look like?"
"I think we've had enough education," Melbourne said lightly. "I understand that they didn't school you on any of this at Kensington, but the rest of it will have to wait until you're married."
Victoria looked at Melbourne and informed him, "When you touched me, I felt like I'd been lit on fire. What was that?"
He blinked. "That was desire, Ma'am."
"Do you always feel desire when… when someone touches you?"
"No. No, desire is a combination of the physical and the emotional," Melbourne informed Victoria. He looked away, into the fireplace, and his cheeks darkened again. "Desire is when you crave the other person."
"Is it the act that one craves? When you were kissing me against that tree, was I craving the act?" Victoria asked furtively, and Melbourne just nodded as he stared into the fire.
"Yes, Ma'am. Something like that. It's the craving for more."
"More touch," Victoria agreed. "I wanted your hands on my skin. I wanted your lips -"
"Ma'am." Melbourne shut his eyes. His fingers tightened on his knees.
"Will you kiss me again, Lord M?" asked Victoria. "We won't… I promise it won't go on to the act."
"No, it wouldn't go on to the act," Melbourne laughed, and he turned his face to Victoria. He sighed, reached to cup her jaw in his hand, and murmured, "How very beautiful you are to me."
"And you… you are very handsome." Victoria smiled, but Melbourne tipped his head and said,
"I am old."
"Not too terribly old," Victoria frowned, but Melbourne puffed a breath and declared,
"Too old for you, Ma'am. And far too common. We ought not kiss."
"Somehow, I do not care what we ought to do or ought not to do." Victoria leaned towards him and kissed his lips softly. "I desire you, Lord M."
"Your Majesty," he hummed onto her lips.
Suddenly there was knocking at the door, and Melbourne flew back and away from Victoria. He flung himself to his feet, and she slowly rose.
"Enter!" Victoria called. The door opened, and the page walked in and bowed. Victoria sighed. "Yes?"
"Your Majesty, The Duchess of Kent, Lord John Conroy, and Lady Flora Hastings are preparing to leave by carriage."
Lord Conroy. He would always be Sir John to Victoria. She sniffed. She said to the page,
"Why are you informing me of this, exactly?"
"Erm… well, Ma'am, the Duchess has requested… that is, she asked if you would…"
"Out with it, boy," said Melbourne harshly. The page's face went red, and he said,
"The Duchess has insisted that she will not leave until Her Majesty comes to say goodbye."
"Oh, pah! Very well. So long as they're on their way out." Victoria growled in frustration and turned to Melbourne. "You'll wait here?"
"I do think it best if I… avoid that situation, Ma'am," Melbourne said quietly. "The Baron and I are not exactly…"
"Well, I'll go and say goodbye," she said, "and then I'll be back. Wait for me, Lord M."
She gave him a meaningful look and swept out of the room.
Author's Note: Well, that's some sex ed from her mentor Lord M, huh? Now, if they could only put some of that to use. ;) How far will Melbourne let things go, especially now that Sir John, the Duchess of Kent, and Lady Flora have gone? Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate your reviews.