CHAPTER TWO - Self Doubt
Four days had passed since the birth of Klaus's beautiful bouncing baby girl Riley. Today was their first day out and about on their own after he was able to bring her home from the hospital.
Well, out into the world, anyways. Klaus didn't have a home to bring her to. He had no more doting nurse's from the hospital, no more assistance in getting his baby to nurse, or to sleep, nothing. Klaus was entirely on his own now, and to say he was beyond nervous was putting it lightly.
So, Klaus did what he thought any parent in his position would do and brought his daughter to the only kind of 'home' he could afford: a homeless shelter. It wasn't much, but, four walls and a roof over their heads was better than nothing at all.
Or so he thought.
It wasn't too long after they'd arrived, however, that Klaus quickly realized his decision had likely not been the best idea. He had Riley swaddled in a pink blanket and tucked comfortably within his loving arms as he eased his aching body down against one of the rickety uncomfortable cots. He wasn't even fully situated when an incorrigible man dangled a little all too familiar plastic baggie of pills before his four day old baby's face.
It was hard enough being merely a few days sober and attempting to silently suffer through agonizing withdrawal symptoms while caring for a newborn baby, but to have his one weakness pendulously swinging in front of her face? Klaus knew they couldn't stay there a moment longer.
He couldn't have his impressionable baby girl around these types of people, surrounded by bad influences or put her in a position that could send her down a path that could wind even slightly similar to his own. It was unfair to her, cruel.
And so, Klaus did what he needed to in order to protect his little girl from that terrible fate; he bundled her into his arms, swung their meager possessions over his shoulder and took her as far away from that awful place as he could.
The weather was a little on the brisk side; strong winds whipped around the pair as Klaus carried his little girl down the sidewalk towards an indeterminate destination. Klaus wasted no time in removing his jacket and wrapping it around his little princess. He knew from talking to her nurse while they were still in the hospital that babies couldn't regulate their body temperature at this stage in their development, so it was entirely up to him to ensure she was kept safe and warm. He clutched her against his chest as a strong chill ran down his spine causing his body to tremble and shudder. Klaus didn't know if his body's reaction was from the cold or if it was caused by the lack of drugs in his system.
Having a newborn was hard on its own, but going through withdrawals with one was a special branch of hell he didn't want to experience ever again.
Klaus felt like shit. His skin was crawling and he just couldn't shake the chills that plagued his thin frame. He was dizzy, and nauseous and his entire body ached. He was so lethargic, just standing at all stole so much precious energy from him. He thought he may be running a fever, he felt so clammy and was covered in sweat.
He just felt so sick.
He turned the corner down an alley when a particularly strong bout of nausea struck him like a freight train, causing Klaus to sway dizzily. With the arm that wasn't clutching his daughter he pressed his palm against the wall to steady himself. He closed his eyes, swallowing deep breaths of air into his lungs to try to bury this terrible feeling back down deep within himself. He opened his eyes and straightened his posture when he thought he was in the clear, but the motion jarred his stomach, causing bile to immediately rise into his throat. Klaus whimpered as he pressed his baby tighter against his chest, while he doubled over to wretch.
This was terrible. He felt so disgusting, so embarrassed, so guilty.
He couldn't believe he was standing in an alleyway holding his baby and vomiting. She didn't deserve this. He was appalled in himself for forcing her to endure such a disgusting occurrence. This certainly wasn't what he envisioned for his little angel when he selfishly decided to raise her on his own. It definitely wasn't an ideal situation, but Klaus couldn't set Riley down on the dirty ground, he couldn't risk her getting sick, or cut, or hurt. He couldn't exactly ask a stranger to hold her for him either; that would just be a child services call waiting to happen.
When Klaus finally composed himself enough and was able to swallow that horrendous sickening feeling down, he distanced themselves from his mess, and sunk against the worn brick wall.
Heaving for his breath while clutching his daughter gently against his trembling chest, Klaus couldn't help himself when his feelings on this entire situation came bubbling out forcibly through his lips, and he cried.
He cried for his little girl, four days old and he was already well on the way to ruining her life. He cried for himself for ever thinking he could handle such an important responsibility. He cried because as he looked down to his baby on his lap she was somehow undisturbed; completely oblivious to the awful happenings surrounding her.
He was thankful for this, at least, he didn't want to have her first memory be of her daddy puking in some janky alley and distraught like some immature fool. He felt so desolate, here he was wrecking this precious baby's future and she was entirely unaware of what she was doomed to face.
Klaus was jealous of her innocence. Looking at her beautiful, blissfully unaware features; Klaus's heart broke when an incredibly harsh realization finally hit.
He couldn't deny the truth any longer...
He couldn't do this.
He'd made a huge mistake, for himself but most importantly for her. He stroked an unsteady finger gently over her cheek, caressing her warm soft skin before he soothed down the curls of her dark downy hair and he just looked at her.
He loved her so much, more than anything he'd ever known in this world, but he knew he couldn't continue her down this path any further.
"I'm sorry, baby. I need to do what's right for you, but this..this isn't right. I'm so sorry." His voice was barely above a whisper, simply too upset with the situation at hand; the reality of the decision he was forcing himself to make ever present in his thoughts.
Klaus hastily wiped at his tears before leveraging himself off of the grungy cement paved ground beneath them and he started the journey towards what he knew deep in his heart was the best option for his daughter.
He sobbed with each unsteady step as he traversed forward. Klaus didn't want to do this, but he knew that he had to: it was the right thing to do. She deserved so much more than he would ever be capable of providing for her. He just wanted her to have everything she needed in this world, and while it devastated him, he knew she would never be able to get anything of importance from him. He'd already failed her, he couldn't do this to her any longer.
His lips quivered, his breath hitching in his throat as he approached the hospital where he'd first laid his eyes on his little one; this was the building where his first crime against his perfect baby girl took place. It seemed fitting to return to the scene of the crime to correct his wrong doings, fix the mess he'd made and save his precious baby from himself. Klaus climbed the steps that led to the front entrance of the hospital; relinquishing his parental rights over her was the only way that he could ensure his beautiful, perfect baby girl got everything she deserved, or could ever need or even want in her life.
He approached the entrance, taking a deep hopefully steadying breath as he pressed his palm flat against the push to open door and he...
Hesitated...
Klaus's hand lingered against the door that would undoubtedly lead to his daughters place of refuge and security and yet he was unable to move any further.
While Klaus knew deep within his soul that everything about this situation was wrong; him choosing to selfishly think he could care for his precious daughter, he knew he'd been fooling himself to ever believe he could handle such a paramount responsibility. Even still, knowing that it would be in Riley's best interest to give her up, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.
"God," He began, a sob shaking his weary form, "I just hope I'm doing the right thing. Please, let this not be another mistake."
He closed his eyes tilting his head back to face whatever forces were at play above them. He hated himself for yet again considering such absurdities; how could he possibly think this would lead to a positive end for his precious baby girl? How could he be so selfish, so self-regarding, so heedless or self-serving? He knew he should be putting her needs before his own but he just wanted her, no, needed her too badly to just let her go.
"I just want what's best for you, princess. I love you so much, I hope one day you'll be able to find it in your heart to forgive me for this."
Klaus pivoted; turning his back on the hospital, and in his eyes, turning his back on his baby's only chance at a future. In this moment, however, he couldn't bring himself to care.
He was a fuck up, always had been, a self-centered piece of trash who deserved everything that came his way in a negative stance. Riley, however, was pure. Entirely untainted by the world around her, the poor choices her father had already made for her, and completely at the mercy of his vacuous free will.
Which was why even though Klaus doubted himself, having already been self-deprecating in his ability to raise his daughter; he had to give himself credit for at least one thing: his heart.
Klaus loved his daughter. He cherished her more than any precious jewel, any priceless painting, or what had ever actually mattered to him before she ever came along: drugs. Riley meant more to him than any of those trivial, meaningless, insignificant things. Riley was everything to Klaus, she was what he never knew he always wanted; and more importantly, needed.
Which was exactly why he refused to just give her up. He needed to change for her, needed to cave and give into the one thing he always prided himself of never doing: he needed to ask for help.
But from whom?
Klaus and his family had long been on unsteady terms; especially after his last overdose. Not that he blamed them, he would have given up on him too. There was one person, however, who somehow no matter how many times he'd fucked up, or stolen from them, or lied to them, or hurt them, somehow always seemed to never want to turn and walk away. He didn't understand why they were like this; so quick to forgive and forget and pretend like nothing wrong had ever occurred, never seemed capable of holding any animosity towards him. Always there for him should he ever need them.
Ben was there for Klaus long after everyone else gave up on him. He was there for him after his last overdose; invited him into his home to recover and heal from the trauma he'd inflicted upon his own body, and told him that he would always be welcome there. Klaus only hoped his words still rang true.
Pushing his ego aside to put his baby girl's well being in the forefront; Klaus started the journey towards a better life for his daughter; and hopefully with any luck, a better life for himself.
The trek was tiring on his already weakened frame, but Klaus pushed through his own discomfort for his daughter. He needed to do this for her, it was her only hope, her only chance at a decent life.
He approached his brother's front door; the dark red color warm and inviting; welcoming, like he'd hoped his brother would still be. He inhaled a deep breath, directing his gaze onto his beautiful baby's face as his knuckles rapped against the lacquered wood with three bold knocks.
A moment of silence passed; the only sound surrounding the pair was the whispered song of the wind, and the deep thunderous frightened beating of his own heart.
A long beat of stillness transpired and there was no answer. Panicked; Klaus knocked again.
Still nothing...
A heavy sense of dread filled his chest, crushing any hopes he had for his daughter. This was it, this was her only shot at a decent future and it was a dead end; much like his life. Defeated and hopeless, Klaus bowed his head, his eyes meeting his daughter's. Her beautiful big blue eyes met his own, her long lashes flittering against the soft breeze surrounding them. His lips trembled as he admired her.
She was so beautiful, so innocent, so incredibly perfect and he now knew without a doubt in his mind he had no other choice than to say goodbye to her. He pressed the heel of his hand against his eyes to desperately try to staunch his tears; he needed to be brave for his little princess, he couldn't allow her to see her daddy so heartbroken.
Klaus turned to leave, his mind set on doing what was best for his daughter; when his world turned upside down as an all encompassing burst of fatigue overwhelmed him. He swayed dizzily, stumbling back a step as he reached to steady himself on one of the wooden columns on Ben's front porch. His arms trembled, struggling to hold his debilitated body upright. He clenched his eyes tightly closed, a groan vacating his lips as the all too familiar sensation of nausea filled his abdomen. A cry surged through his lips; he hated this so much. He was already so distraught over losing his precious baby girl, he didn't need to feel so sick on top of everything else right now. He needed to sit, needed to clear his fuzzy head, and to calm his racing heart.
Klaus coughed harshly, his shaky hands struggling to push himself upright when the sound of the mechanisms within the door sounded, before the bolt unlocked and finally opened.
"Klaus?" Ben peered through the opening of his door, taking in his brothers swaying form. "Is that you? What are you doing here, are you alright?"
Klaus's body shook with a sob as he turned to face his brother. Ben's eyes shone brilliantly with concern.
"Can...can we come in? Please?" Klaus's eyes fluttered, threatening to close as he took an unsteady step forward. Ben's eyes widened when he realized the baby in his brother's arms, but wasted no time in accepting his clearly struggling siblings request.
"Yes, of course. Come in, it's freezing outside."
Klaus nodded as he stumbled through the threshold into Ben's home; still just as warm and inviting as he'd remembered. Ben closed the door behind them, locking the latch as Klaus, carrying Riley, walked through the kitchen and entered into the living room.
"Klaus, what the fuck," Ben began, following his brother into the room. Now that they were inside and out of the cold, he could finally address the looming question on his mind since he'd first opened the door. "Who's baby is that, Klaus? And what the hell are you doing with it?"
Klaus smiled tightly as his hazy eyes met his brother's concerned and bewildered ones.
"She's mine, Ben. Surprise!" He let out a soft giggle before falling into an uncomfortable silence. He closed his eyes just as the color drained from his face.
"You okay?" Ben asked, taking in his brother's feeble appearance. Klaus shook his head, quickly closing the gap between himself and his confused sibling as he handed him his baby girl.
"Please, don't say anything, I don't need to hear it right now. Just, please, hold her for me, just for a minute?" Ben opened his mouth to protest but quickly obliged, closing his lips and nodding before accepting the wiggling baby into his arms.
"Thank you." Klaus whispered breathily before covering his mouth with his palm and sprinting into the small bathroom in the hallway. Ben's eyes furrowed at the sound of his brother's vomiting.
"Jesus Christ, are you sick? With a baby?" Ben reprimanded as he rounded the corner to watch his distressed brother continue to wretch. Klaus coughed into the toilet, his shaky hands clutching the cool porcelain like a lifeline.
"M'not sick Ben," He began, coughing once more into the toilet before a hard shudder rocked his frame. "It's worse, I'm sober."
Ben's eyes widened at his brothers statement.
"What? Klaus, wait, really? For how long?" Ben asked, his tone sharp with astonishment. Klaus groaned, his body quivering harshly as his teeth chattered within his skull.
"Let's see," He began, another harsh shudder plaguing his weary form, "she's four days old, so...four days?"
"You quit for her?" Ben's eyebrows darted towards the sky, shock evident on his features. Klaus's body heaved into the toilet, but nothing came out. He had nothing left to give; both physically, and emotionally. He was just so over everything; so ready to just rest, at least for a little while. He groaned, pinching his eyes shut as his hand clutched at his ailing belly.
"You sound disappointed." He sucked in a breath trying to calm his nerves, he just felt so anxious and so sick. This had been an incredibly difficult day for him, he was ready for it to be over. Ben's expression softened at his brother's words; how could he ever have thought he would be disappointed in him for doing something so incredibly thoughtful, so selfless?
"No, actually. Quite the opposite, Klaus. I'm...I'm proud of you."
"Oh, well, that's a relief." Klaus smiled briefly as a silence filled the tiny bathroom before pressing his forehead against the seat of the toilet; the cooling sensation felt so comforting against his feverish brow. His charged emotions couldn't be suppressed any longer, Klaus could no longer camouflage his true feelings, and he cried; wept for his little angel, disturbed by his own selfish mistakes. Ben took a step forward laying his hand against his brother's trembling shoulder.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, gently rubbing circles against his brothers sharp scapula in an attempt to provide him some ounce of comfort. Klaus sucked in a sharp breath, wiping at his eyes before looking to his brother.
"I-I'm in way over my head, Ben. I don't know what to do, or what I was thinking. I can't have a baby." His voice was weak and unsteady; trembling, just like him. He was just so upset, and confused, and scared. He didn't know what to do, didn't know how to make things right for his daughter. Ben's lips tugged into a sad smile, his heart sagging in his chest at his brother's words.
"Hey now," He began, stooping down onto his knee to be at his brothers level, "Come on, none of that. Klaus, you're going to be just fine." Klaus couldn't contain the pitiful sounding laugh that rattled within his chest.
"Fine?" He wiped at his tears, his gaze never meeting his brother's; he was too upset to make eye contact, too afraid to see the disappointment in his brother's eyes. He couldn't handle letting down anyone else, failing yet another person in his life he cared so much about.
"Ben, I'm homeless; I have no job, no family besides you. I'm not cut out for this. I'm already screwing everything up, I can't do this...I just can't!" He closed his eyes, rolling his forehead against the toilet seat while tugging at his hair. Ben's face fell.
"Hey, you're wrong, Klaus. Look at you, you're already making good decisions. You came here, didn't you? Not to mention you're getting sober—"
"I can't do this, Ben!" Klaus wailed, his face contorted in heartache.
Ben's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at his clearly distressed brother, it broke his heart to see the man before him feeling the way he was; so sad, so distraught, so lost. He laid his palm against his brother's shoulder, giving it a gentle reassuring squeeze.
"Klaus, yes you can." Klaus sniffled as he attempted to straighten, but his head was pounding so hard, and he just felt so sick. He groaned, clutching at his stomach with one hand as he heaved dryly onto the bowl once again. His body shook from the effort, he was just so tired, so emotionally and physically drained. After a few moments of trying to compose himself Klaus peered to Ben, but instead of his brother's eyes meeting his own, his daughter's curious blue gaze was watching him intently.
"Ben, I'm sorry, but please leave. Just go, I don't want her to see me like this." He sucked in a breath, his cries of despair filling the small bathroom. Ben looked down to the baby in his arms, tucking Klaus's jacket tighter against her tiny frame before returning his focus to his brother.
"Like what, Klaus?" He began, his free hand tightening against his brother's shoulder, "Like a father who is scared out of his mind, and just trying to do what's best for his daughter?" A sob escaped Klaus's lips as he pressed both of his palms to his eyes. He didn't deserve his brothers pity, he didn't deserve his little girl, he didn't deserve such kindness.
"I...I don't deserve her, Ben. She's so perfect, so pure, and I'm just—"
"You're just a brand new father who is learning the ropes, Klaus. You're scared, and that's normal! You said so yourself; she's only four days old, having a baby isn't easy, but from what I can see, you've done just fine by her so far. You can do this!" Klaus's shoulders shook with each unsteady breath he took, he didn't believe his words, he knew he wasn't right.
"I just," He took in a breath as another tear rolled down his cheek, "I-I just want what's best for her, Ben. And I'm...I'm not it; I'm not at all—"
"Yes, you are, Klaus. Look at her," Ben started, trying to gain his brother's attention. "Look at her, Klaus. Open your eyes and look at your daughter." Klaus's lips quivered as he slowly opened his eyes. He tilted his weary head towards his brother and looked at his beautiful little girl. She was watching him; her brilliant blue irises bright and wide with wonder as her tiny little arms outstretched reaching towards him; begging for him to take care, to hold her, to love her.
"Look at her, Klaus. She wants you, she loves you. I can see it in your eyes, it's written all over your face. You love this little girl so much, and you want her too. Why deny yourself that? You can do this Klaus. Deep down I think that you know you can. I know you can, she knows you can. Just stick with it, stay sober and be there for her. That's all she needs." Klaus took his daughter's hand into his own, her fingers immediately wrapped around his finger giving it a tight squeeze; he swore it felt like she was trying to comfort him. His lips continued to tremble but they tugged into a delicate smile. A soft sad laugh left his lips as he looked into Ben's caring brown eyes.
"You've always been way too trusting in people, Ben." Ben's lips curled into a crooked smile as he focused hard on his brother's eyes.
"No, I've just always had a good judgement of character." Both men exchanged a smile and a nod at one another. Ben leaned forward, wrapping his free arm around his brother's shoulder in a warm embrace.
"You can do this, Klaus. We know you can," Ben pulled away from the hug to gently bounce Riley in his arms, "Isn't that right sweetheart? Daddy can do this, yeah? Yeah, he can." Klaus let out a shuddered breath as he smiled at his brother cooing to his daughter. Ben returned his attention to Klaus; his weakened figure still left trembling and exhausted.
"Now, I've got her for a while, you need to rest. Let's get you to bed for a bit, yeah? You look like you haven't slept in days." Klaus could only nod as Ben helped ease him off the floor and guided him into his bedroom to lay down. He'd barely settled himself flat against the mattress before the exhaustion pulled him into a deep and restful sleep.
—-
Ben allowed Klaus to sleep for a few hours while he tended to his brother's baby girl—There was no denying that the man undoubtedly deserved his rest. As soon as Ben's eyes caught a glimpse of Klaus; swaying dizzily and struggling to keep his eyes open, he knew his brother was in desperate need of help. Then, when he realized the baby swaddled within his arms, there wasn't a doubt in his mind that his brother may have been in well over his head, and perhaps had bitten off more than he could chew. Truthfully, Ben didn't believe Klaus at first when he said the child was his. Then again, Klaus always had been known for his promiscuity, and knowing that he was homeless, out on the street and well aware of how he earned his meals and beds he slept it, maybe it wasn't such an unrealistic concept after all.
Even still it was a lot to take in, especially with this being the first time that he'd seen his brother in a little over a year's span. Not to mention, that the last he'd seen Klaus was right after his overdose.
That was the most frightening moment in Ben's life; seeing his brother's life hanging on by a mere thread that was already so tattered and frayed. He'd never seen Klaus like that before. So unbelievably weak, so frail. It was touch and go for a long time whether or not he was going to make it at all; but Ben was thrilled that he miraculously did. He'd invited Klaus to stay with him, at least for a little while, long enough to get back on his feet. Klaus hadn't wanted to impose himself upon his brother, but Ben wouldn't accept no for an answer.
The week span that Klaus stayed with Ben had been one of his happiest times in his life. Sure, Klaus wasn't in his best health, he was very weak and still rather sickly to an extent and spent a lot of time just resting, but when he got the few prized moments where they could just sit together and talk like they used to when they were younger, well, Ben couldn't have been any happier. Truthfully, he'd missed his brother. Klaus had always been Ben's closest resemblance to a friend his entire childhood. Raised as brothers or not, they were inseparable.
Ben would never forget the fateful day that their lives were suddenly changed; their close proximity to one another forcefully ripped apart by their fathers own terrible doings. It was Ben who found Klaus the day he turned his back on his family and left the academy forever. He remembered the details vividly; he would never be able to scorch that horrendous memory from his brain, or detach it from his retinas.
It had been two days since he'd last seen or spoken to his brother and he'd grown worried. They were always together, and Klaus had missed their weekly 'Tuesday Turn The Cover' book reading party they'd started nearly two years ago. Klaus never missed a meeting—Ben was worried sick. When he asked their siblings if they'd seen or heard from Klaus, no one seemed to have any useful information, so Ben took it upon himself to go searching for him. When he approached his brothers door and knocked he found it already slightly ajar, as it swung open as soon as his knuckles made contact. He entered the room and that's when he saw Klaus. The horror within Ben's stomach churned at the sight of his brother.
Klaus was laying haphazardly in the center of his floor; deep painfully obvious bruising covered his pale skin. He was drenched in sweat and his hair was matted down with dried blood from a deep laceration across his temple. He had never seen a living human being look so...broken.
He rushed to his side, cradling his limp form into his lap and tapped his brothers cheek to try to pull him back into consciousness. When his eyes fluttered, revealing eyes glazed with fever and pain; whites marred with red where blood vessels had burst from how hard he had been hit, Ben couldn't suppress his tears.
He couldn't blame his brother for deciding to leave, Ben only wished that he'd made the decision to go with him. Knowing what he does now, how terrible of a life he wound up leading, he couldn't help but feel that he'd failed his brother in the worst kind of way.
Fortunately, the ethereal sounding murmurs of Klaus's precious bundle of joy cooing pulled Ben from his own thoughts and his terrible memories. He smiled down at Klaus's baby girl as he finished changing her dirty diaper. He'd just fed her, and burped her, and now he was rocking her in his arms. Ben still couldn't believe that this precious little munchkin was Klaus's. She was so cute, and so unbelievably tiny. He cradled her in his arms, trailing his thumb over her chubby little cheeks as he just absorbed this moment. She was beautiful; large doe-like blue eyes with the longest eyelashes he'd ever seen. She had the most perfect little nose, and the cutest set of dimples in her cherubic little cheeks. Her hair was dark and curly, just like her father's and her skin was fair like his, too. He couldn't believe how perfect she was. He held her close as she began to drift to sleep in his warm loving embrace.
Ben hummed a soothing tune to her while he prepared a quick meal for her daddy. Looking at Klaus, Ben wasn't sure the last time he'd eaten, he was so thin. A bowl of hot soup and a fresh grilled cheese sandwich certainly ought to do the trick to help him feel better.
He cradled Klaus's precious angel against his chest as he plated the grilled cheese sandwich and poured the soup into a thermos; he didn't want to risk it knocking over and spilling on the baby. Careful to not wake her, he balanced the plate and soup filled canister in his free hand as he quietly entered the bedroom where his brother was asleep.
Ben's lips tugged into a frown as he took in his brother's appearance.
Klaus looked terrible...
He was so pale, and sweaty, and he just looked so exhausted. Ben laid the plate and thermos down on the nightstand before settling himself on the edge of the bed beside his brother. He laid his palm against his trembling shoulder and gave him a soft nudge.
"Klaus," He stated, barely above a whisper. He wanted to wake him without disturbing the baby, "Wake up, it's time to eat."
Klaus hummed, his eyes furrowing before opening into slits. God, he looked so tired.
"How you feeling, any better? Did you sleep okay?" Ben asked as he gently laid the baby's slumbering form down on the bed beside her daddy, mindful to set her away from the edge so she was safe. Klaus smiled tiredly down at his daughter, gently running his fingertips delicately up and down her back, before tucking her curls away from her eyes.
"Yeah. Thanks, Ben. I really appreciate this, you have no idea." He closed his eyes again as he ran his shaky palm down his face.
"It's not a problem at all, Klaus. You know I'll always be here for you. You're always welcome here; both of you." Klaus smiled at Ben, stifling a groan as he sat up in the bed. Ben laid a steadying hand on his shoulder, but Klaus just smiled at him, patting his hand to let him know he was okay.
"Here, have some soup, and I made you your favorite—grilled cheese." Klaus thanked Ben before taking the plate into his lap. He tore off a chunk of the sandwich and plopped it into his mouth, chewing it slowly before finally swallowing it. He coughed; the sandwich a bit too rich for his nutrition deprived frame. Ben frowned, handing his brother the soup instead. Klaus opened the thermos, blowing on the hot contents within before slurping a few sips down. Ben smiled while he watched Klaus eat, he was happy he could provide such solace for his brother; give him and his daughter a warm bed to sleep in and a hot meal for his clearly starved belly. He felt proud in knowing that Klaus trusted him enough to turn to him in his time of need. He was just happy he could do this for his brother. His smile wavered however, his palm laying over Klaus's to garner his attention. Klaus paused sipping at his soup, his tired green eyes meeting his brother's calm brown ones.
"Klaus, you know I'll always be here for you in whatever way I can, I want nothing more than to help you and your baby, but, I—" He paused, sucking in a deep breath before continuing, "I'm leaving for college next week."
Klaus's eyes widened at his brother's statement. Leaving? He couldn't go, where would he and Riley go? Who would help him? He'd finally thought they would be okay, that they were in the clear. With Ben's help he would surely be able to keep her, but if he left? What then? Klaus set the thermos down as he buried his face into his palms.
"I...I can't do this alone, Ben. I can't do this without you." Ben's face fell at his brother's words. He laid a comforting hand against his knee as he leaned towards his sibling.
"Hey now, yes you can. Look, I want you two to stay here, alright? It'll put a roof over both of your heads. I'll stock up on as many groceries for you two as I can, pick up some necessities for the baby—"
"Riley," Klaus corrected as he smiled warmly at his slumbering daughter. "Her..her name is Riley." Ben smiled, leaning over to stroke Klaus's baby's back.
"I'll pick up as many necessities for Riley as I can. Klaus, I have an emergency fund that's connected to a debit card. I'll leave it here for you so you guys have some money. It isn't much, but it should be plenty to tide you two over for food and supplies." Klaus couldn't believe his brother's generosity; an actual home to call their own, and money to be able to provide his daughter with whatever she could ever need?
"Ben, I can't ask you to do that—"
"Please," Ben started, holding his palm up to stop his brother. "I want to, Klaus. Besides, she's my niece, I need to spoil her somehow, don't I? Just, Klaus, please don't—"
"Waste it on drugs?" Klaus interjected, "I won't Ben, I promise. I can't, I have something so much more important to me now than those ludicrous things." Klaus smiled lovingly at his daughter; the quiet sounds of her breathing filling the bedroom. He caressed her cheek, smoothing her awry curls down against the crown of her head. Ben smiled as he watched his brother's interaction between himself and his daughter; it was so refreshing to see Klaus so infatuated with something in such a positive light, it was the most beautiful sight he could have ever witnessed. A father and his daughter, so tender and nurturing. It was a welcomed sight to behold.
"I trust you, Klaus. I'll leave my number on the fridge. I have Diego's number, too. I know you two haven't spoken since...the incident, but he doesn't live far from here. If you need any help he will help you." Klaus scoffed at his brother's words. The 'incident' was his last overdose. Diego made it painfully clear that he never wanted to speak to or see his brother again, he wasn't going to disappoint him now by begging him for help. Ben was just offering him what help he could, however, and Klaus wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Instead he simply smiled and nodded expressing his thanks. Ben knew Diego was a touchy subject for his brother, so he didn't push the envelope further. He just wanted Klaus to know his number was available to him should he need it.
"Now, eat, rest. You'll need all of your strength to be able to handle this little monster." Ben sent his brother a reassuring smile as he patted his knee before raising to his feet. Klaus laughed, picking up the thermos and pressing it to his lips, taking a big sip.
Klaus was scared; he didn't know if his brother was right in this instance. He didn't think he could handle caring for his baby girl on his own. But, with Ben's kind words, his encouragement and his help, no matter how far he may be, Klaus found that he was forming enough faith in himself that maybe he would be able to handle this utmost responsibility after all. Maybe, just maybe, they would be just fine.
—
Authors Note: Hey! I swear I don't only write withdrawals lol this is the only chapter with them. I hope you're all enjoying this story, I'm super excited for it! It's my favorite thing I've ever written! I hope it will reflect on the story!
I should note I am NOT a baby expert. I'm merely a brand new aunt and use my nephew for inspiration—that said, take my baby facts with a grain of salt haha
If you are enjoying PLEASE let me know in the comments! I would love to know your thoughts and opinions on this! thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy! :)