Chapter 3

I felt like I was losing my god damn mind. I was sitting on the floor in the hallway outside of homeroom, and Big Red just went inside. The stuff with Nini sucks, it really does. I was really hoping we were on good enough terms to get back together, but life doesn't always work out as planned, I suppose.

That shit hurts, but you know what hurts worse? When I was walking to homeroom with Big Red after that whole ordeal, and he barely said anything. Granted, I could barely say anything, either, but I just wanted him to say something. Anything. I hate when people ask if I'm alright, because I always feel like people are just taking pity on the sad boy when they ask that. It doesn't feel authentic or genuine.

Big Red couldn't even look at me when he asked if I was alright. Am I really that much of a mess? We've been friends for years, and now even Big Red doesn't want to associate with me? He's such a dork – I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way, it's just an objective observation. He's sweet and wholesome, but definitely a little odd. I think his quirks are cute, though, and his smile can brighten up a room like a spotlight.

Did I really just think that? I guess I did. Maybe this whole Nini thing is getting in my head. I don't know, things have been very weird lately. I guess I just want Big Red to notice me. I guess that sounds pretty fucking gay, too. Huh.

I stood up from the linoleum floor of the hallway and slipped in quietly into my homeroom. I shut the door behind me, which caused everyone to turn their heads in unison. Since when is my homeroom full of a bunch of fucking owls? I saw Big Red move his backpack from my seat, but I can't deal with being next to him right now. I could feel his gaze following me as I went to the other open seat near the front of the class. I sat in my chair with an almost inaudible sigh, and felt Big Red's eyes like lasers in the back of my head. My teacher gave me a look that combined a death glare with a look of fake concern. I just put my hood up and sunk back into my chair and watched the seconds tick by on the clock on the wall behind her.

Ms. Atkinson kept rambling about all of the logistics of the coming week at East High, and the routine BS of getting back into the swing of things during the first weeks of school. Mid-sentence, the bell rang, effectively cutting her off. She set down the whiteboard marker she was holding, and started to walk toward me. Quickly, I stood up and turned toward the door and bolted before she could talk to me.

"Ricky!" Big Red yelled from behind me. I turned around, and he shuffled over to catch up with me.

"What was up in homeroom?" he asked.

"It was nothing, dude, I promise. Just a lot going on with the Nini thing, and my mom is in Chicago right now. My dad and I don't know when she's coming back." I said with a shaky tone.

"Oh… I'm sorry, Ricky." He was looking down at the ground and fidgeting with the pop socket on his phone.

I turned to walk away, when he said "Do you wanna come over tonight?"

I spun around and looked at him, and he was smiling and blushing as he spoke. "I just saw this girl from New Hampshire on YouTube, and she says that she's addicted to eating her dog's kibble. Or we could play Fortnite, or watch Up…"

I got lost among all his suggestions. They were kind of weird, of course, but sweet nonetheless. He was still rambling off various ideas, and I touched his shoulder to get his attention. He stopped and looked at my hand, and then looked me in the eyes. We just kinda stood there silently for a second, looking at each other. I could feel myself blushing as I looked at him smiling at me. I pulled him in and hugged him tight.

"See you tonight."