Chapter 4:

Author's Note: Sorry that this sucks… I wrote this at 12:30 AM. Hehe xD xD :3 Thank you to all of my lovely readers! Thank you to Aimee, Sophie, and Morganne for their love and support as I write this daring fic – one of the first in this fandom! I only know of two others on fanfiction dot net! Thanks to Aimee for the artistic inspiration. Don't like, don't read. M/M (obviously). Please rate and review! 3

See you tonight…

Those words echoed in my head – I don't know what felt so different about having Ricky come over to hang out. He's over in my basement a few times a week, and we always have a good time. That sounds bad. Oh well!

I had to make sure everything was just as Ricky would like. I don't know why I had this anxiety to impress him all of a sudden, but it just felt necessary. I vacuumed, I washed my mountain of laundry, and I brought down a bag of nacho cheese Doritos and a two-liter of Diet Coke. Only the best for my guy! Why was I suddenly so self-conscious about the presentation of my room? He has been over to my house every week for literally as long as I can remember. But today feels different. I feel like I need to make myself look presentable. I'm just seeing Ricky, not the queen of England! But in this moment, I felt so much anxiety about having my best friend come hang out… not even seeing Zac Efron would make me this nervous. Granted, I've only ever seen High School Musical while at my allergist's office. Zac Efron is a big deal at East High; he's basically God among most students.

Snap out of it! I thought to myself. I couldn't let this anxiety get to me. I continued to clean my room a bit more when I heard a knock at the door. I ran upstairs and unlocked the front door. To no surprise, Ricky was standing there. He had changed since I saw him earlier in school. Instead of a flannel, he had a grey sweater with a blue button down underneath it, with khaki slacks. I felt a little underdressed being in a t-shirt and jeans.

"Hey," Ricky said, shivering through a smile in the high desert cold.

"Hey." I said awkwardly. I stepped aside so he could walk inside. He quickly took off his shoes and started down the stairs to the basement. I trailed behind, admiring his outfit and the way his curls bounced a little when he ran down the stairs.

I sat down on my bed, and he sat down next to me. I could sense that he was a little down.

"How's it going, man?" I asked him, knowing the answer already.

"Not great, dude… Not great. I told you about my mom being away. I don't particularly love it when she's out of the house. My dad doesn't know how to cook. His fine cuisine includes instant mashed potatoes and buffalo wings." He looked down at the ground while he spoke.
"And as if the parent stuff wasn't weird enough, then Nini says we're through, and I saw on Instagram that she's with that E.J. guy from the water polo team. I really thought that what we had could be mended, but I guess not."

Ricky flopped backwards onto the bed, sighing and stretching. I joined him and turned onto my side to look at him.

"You know, Ricky, if you're ever feeling out of place at your house, just remember you're always welcome here."

He said nothing, and kept looking at the ceiling, obviously deep in thought. I could see it in the way his eyes were glued to the light fixture above my bed, and the way his eyebrows furled a little bit.

"Ricky, I know the Nini shit is tough. I thought y'all were on the mend, too. But to be completely honest, you deserve someone better than her. Somebody who will make sure your needs are met, and make sure that you are doing okay. You deserve someone who loves you for you, not for what you give to others."

Again, he said nothing, but he just looked at me and stared into my eyes. I put my arms around him and just hugged him for a bit. He rested his head on my shoulder, and we laid down on my bed for a while. I listened to him breathe; sometimes it was steady, but other times I could feel his breathing becoming more uneven. That was when I would slowly run my fingers up and down his back, occasionally playing with a few of the curls of his hair a little bit.

When his breathing had steadied, he looked up at me with his eyes tinted red. I pulled him a little closer, and whispered, "You'll make it through this, Ricky. It's not going to be easy, but you'll make it through this. Don't forget how much I care about you. I'm always here for you, man."

Again, he didn't speak, but I wasn't frustrated by this. Even when he is silent, I know that he is present. His chocolate brown eyes were locked on my own, and I continued to hold him close as he collected his thoughts and processed his emotions. I can't imagine all that's going through his head with Nini and his parents.

We looked into each other's eyes for what felt like hours. I felt peaceful and at ease with Ricky. His breathing was slow and steady now, and his eyes were no longer bloodshot from tears. The room was dead silent, and all I could focus on was Ricky. I didn't want to let go of him… I felt warm and safe with him. Ricky started to move a little bit. Shit, he's getting uncomfortable, I thought to myself. I started to adjust a bit too, scooting away from him. Ricky instead moved a bit closer to me and leaned over. He kissed me, briefly yet tenderly; it felt natural and wholesome.

"Thank you, Big Red."