Fear is an emotion that every being experiences one time in their life. Everyone has a fear. Whether it be from animals, insects, people, experiences, life and/or death depends on the person. I only feared a few things, including but not limited to spiders, things I cannot control, bad hair days, gaining weight, my father, losing to Sakura, and feeling unwanted or unloved. My teammates never fell into the category of what I fear. They gave me nothing to fear. They always supported me in missions and life. Sure, Shikamaru's brain was deadly, even to us Yamanakas, but his laziness tells me otherwise. Choji can be the strongest ninja if he wasn't so kind-hearted. So why is it now that I fear the lazyass and the sweetest guy in Konoha? Simple, because I lied to them. I promised them I wouldn't get back with Gaara because they didn't want to see me in that state again. Now what am I doing? "Lying" to them so Gaara can stay single? Is it really worth it?
I glanced over at the two boys next to me. We have sat here silently for the past hour watching the clouds in Shikamaru's favorite gazing spot. It's comforting, and it brings back great memories from our genin days. However, the silence was killing me. Usually, I would speak for an hour or two on the latest gossip, news, and problems that have arisen. Choji would comment back and munch on his chips happily. Shikamaru would lie there and constantly shake his head or sigh. He would act like he was asleep but I've caught him listening. I've seen him move or a simple reaction came from him and I knew that no matter how much he complains about my "troublesome gossip", he thought it was interesting. I mean, I am the most interesting person he knows in his life.
After my long rambling, we would all lay out and just watch the clouds where Choji and I would point out the shapes we saw. Shikamaru would then comment lazily on how he saw a figure more complex than a "cloud bunny". After we did this for thirty minutes or so, we would then slowly all fall asleep and nap for about another hour. Where Shikamaru would surprisingly be the first one to awaken followed by me. We would then talk about personal matters until Choji wakes up. Sometimes if I wake up after Choji, I catch them talking about their own personal matters. I know it's wrong and I should wake up before I hear anything, but I can't help but know what's going on. I mean, that's how I learned at first about Shikamaru and Temari. That's how I learned about their lives and I have even caught them talking about the matter that Shikamaru and I spoke about. Choji and I never spoke in personal matters while Shikamaru was sleeping though. We never knew if he was really sleeping or not. Choji and I still had our own talks though. He is one of the few I know who wouldn't judge me. I even spoken to him about my "feelings" for Shikamaru briefly, but he had no comment.
Anyhow, today did not turn out like the usual days. Sitting in silence first was not what I wanted to start with. I was itching to talk about the news I found out about Ichiraku's and who I saw together eating there. I wanted to talk about my father's new order on shipping different plants in that I think could sell tremendously enough to buy the new dress I have been talking about for the past few weeks. More importantly, I wanted to get over the whole topic of "Gaara and I." Well almost... I would actually like to forget that it happened so we could go back to normal.
I looked up towards the sky and smiled at a cloud shaped like the head of a bunny.
"Choji! Hey, it looks like a bunny's hea-" I called cheerfully, pointing at the sky. Glancing over, my smile dropped when I noticed him snoozing away with an empty bag of chips resting on his stomach. Well damn, there goes any human communication. I slowly lowered my hand and tucked it back under my knees.
"Where do you see that?" A voice lazily asked and I looked over at Shikamaru who laid down to my left. One eye popped open to look towards me and I frowned.
"How can you not see it? Right there." I pointed back towards the cloud. It's ears elongated itself from what it was before but it still looked like the head of a rabbit.
"That's not a rabbit. It's two kunai." He responded with his eyes closed. I stared up at the cloud and wrinkled my nose.
"How is that two kunai?" I called staring at the clouds.
"Lean your head forty-five degrees to the right." He suggested and I did so. I grinned when I finally saw the objects. The ears were the tips of the kunai while the head was the two handles.
"I still like the rabbit more." I huffed before leaning back on my hands to glance more at the cloud. It slowly morphed away causing the two kunais to seperate from each other.
I stared at them longer for another twenty minutes. I was hoping Shikamaru would say something or Choji would wake up but neither happened. Sighing, I fell on my back and stared up at the sky. The sun was behind my head and didn't interfere with my view. The clouds came and went on the baby blue sky. The wind blew softly, sometimes a leaf or two flying by. This whole thing was beyond peaceful, but damn was I bored.
My eyebrows raised at the sound of a russling bag. I peered over to see Choji reaching in his pack for another bag of chips. My inner me jumped with excitement, finally someone to talk to.
"Hey, had a good nap?" I spoke quietly and Choji looked over with a smile.
"It was great, until I woke up because I was dying of hunger." He commented as he pulled out a new bag of chips. I shook my head with a small laugh before smiling at him.
"Hey. Guess who I saw at Ichiraku's two days ago?" I asked, my insides screaming with excitement. I could feel my blood racing and heart beating faster. I loved gossiping. The look on other's faces when they learn something new fuels me. To know I brought them that new knowledge makes it even better.
Choji looked over as he plopped a chip in his mouth.
"Who?" He asked his eyebrows raising slightly with interest. I gave him a giant smile.
"Kakashi-sensei and Anko-sensei," I replied and Choji's eyebrows raised higher.
"But Anko eats dumplings not ramen."
"I know!" I squealed softly. I leaned rolled over to support myself with my left arm. "Kakashi-sensei wasn't even reading his book like usual. He actually had it put away and they seemed to be having an actual discussion."
"He wasn't reading?" Choji repeated and I nodded quickly.
"Nope!"
"Were they on a date?" He asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
"I have no clue, but I saw Kakashi-sensei pay the bill for the two of them and they walked out together and he STILL didn't pick up his book." I grinned and Choji's eyes widened.
"Where did they go after that?" He asked and I sighed.
"I have no clue," I laid back down and stared at the sky. "I couldn't follow them because Sakura came up to me to talk about something they were doing at the hospital but I didn't listen because I was too busy trying to think of what they two of them were doing." I snickered thinking about how angry Sakura would be if she noticed I didn't listen to her.
"Odd." Choji commented and I sighed again.
"Yeah. Oh! Did I tell you my father decided to try a new type of flower species out at the shop. They come in next week. He hasn't told me what they were yet, but I'm excited because I hope it brings in enough money so I can-"
"Buy that dress you have been wanting since you saw it in the market-"
"Exactly!" I smiled at him and Choji smiled back.
"I hope it's a big hit for you guys." He wished and I smiled.
"Thanks!"
"You're loud," Shikamaru lazily stated and I stared at him.
"Whatever you needed to wake up, Baka." I spoke with my hand before inspecting my nails. "Oh! By the way in three days, there's a dinner at the Nara compound for-"'
"-The heads of the clans and we have to attend." Shikamaru finished and I frowned.
"They told you?" I leaned up and Choji nodded.
"They told us last week." Choji responded and I mentally died inside. I wasn't told until yesterday. How could I be the last to know? I always have to be the first!
"I hate being the last to know." I whined and I heard Choji chuckle. I looked over towards him and watched him eat a couple of chips. "So what did you do yesterday with Kankuro?" Choji swallowed his chips before smiling.
"I took him to a couple of vendors and shops where I acknowledged him on the foods served and which were the best. I showed him where I stocked up on snacks and proceeded to let him try some of the chips. He turns out to be another fan of this one!" Choji triumphiantly held up a red bag of chips.
"Another fan, huh?" Shikamaru repeated and Choji nodded.
"Yeah, tenth one this month! I tell ya, you can't go wrong with these. The original is great for all taste buds. The other flavors should be experienced when your taste buds are mature and trained!"
"Originals are good, but I still like the purple bag." I stated while pointing at the bag next to him.
"Do you like the taste, or because of the color?" Shikamaru looked over and I furrowed my brow at him.
"The taste! I mean yes, the color is beautiful and the bag is adorable, but it has that sweet vanilla-cinnamon taste!"
"Yes, this bag is definitely preferred by someone with sweeter taste buds." Choji stated and I giggled.
"Better keep that away from Gaara. He hates sweets." I spoke without thinking and immediately it seemed the mood had shifted. I knew I had to fix it quickly. I cleared my throat before looking towards Shikamaru.
"What did you and Temari do yesterday?" I asked him and he shrugged while keeping his eyes closed.
"Nothing really." He muttered and I sat up quickly, frowning at him.
"You had to have done something." I urged and he sighed.
"We gazed at some clouds, talked, and went to dinner. Happy?" He looked at me with one eye and I continued frowning. The two went together alone?
"Ecstatic." I muttered dryly.
"What did you and Gaara do, Ino?" Choji asked and I looked over at him. He looked interested but I knew he was trying to lighten the mood between us. He disliked when tension was too high between any of us. I looked over at the sky and shrugged my shoulders.
"Took him to the flower shop and taught him some stuff about flowers." I then gave a small snort. "My father seriously just left me to watch the shop for like three hours with him so I couldn't take him anywhere else."
"Was that when you two decided to take it to the next level?" Shikamaru commented and I tensed.
"No... that was this morning." I anwsered shyly. It's now or never.
"Why, Ino?" Choji asked and I looked over at him before quickly looking away from the two.
"We discussed things through and he asked for another chance." I slowly responded keeping myself closed off from the other two.
"So you just did it? That doesn't sound like you, Ino." Shikamaru responded and I looked over quickly causing my ponytail to fly over my right shoulder.
"Oh so what sounds like me, Shikamaru?" I hissed and he sat up with a sigh.
"Troublesome." He muttered and I pinched his arm.
"Don't 'troublesome' me! Anwser me." I scowled and he rubbed his arm while giving me an angered yet bored look.
"You usually don't give chances, Ino. You make people... work for it." Choji responded and I looked towards him. My anger completely sinking. He was right. He knew me too well.
"I know. I thought about our last night and decided maybe I was acting irrational..." I winced inside. I didn't like admitting I did something wrong... especially when I didn't.
"So you believe whatever he tells you now?" Shikamaru added and I glared at him. He never acts up like this. He always keeps himself collected.
"I believe what I want to believe and do what I want to do. I don't listen to anyone but myself!" I shouted back and Shikamaru pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Well listen to yourself then. You're shouting to prove your point. When you do this it's because you know you did something wrong but you won't agree to it." He spat and I flinched back. The fuck?
"Giving him another chance isn't wrong!" I shouted back and Shikamaru shook his head
"Yes it is. He hurt you once, Ino. You're going to let him do that again?" Shikamaru stared at me and I gritted my teeth.
"Oh, why the fuck do you care! Go enjoy having dinner alone with Temari." I spat while crossing my arms and Shikamaru blinked slowly.
"It wasn't alone. Choji and Kankuro came along as well." He acknowledged and I shook my head with a small laugh.
"Was she all over you like always?" I grinned deviously and Shikamaru shook his head in aggravation.
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't play stupid, Shika! I see her draping herself all over you, leaning into your arms and shoulders with her hands on you!" I shouted while mimicking Temari's movements.
"You do the same thing, Ino." He responded dryly. I felt a part of me rip at the comment. He was right and wrong at the same time.
"But it's different!" I cried in return and Shikamaru only stared back in disbelief.
"And how is that, Ino?" His raised his voice and I closed my eyes.
"Because it's me!" I kept my eyes closed when tears began to form in my eyes. There was silence between us and I refused to open my eyes. The sound of russling bags broke the silence.
"I forgot I had to work on something with my dad. I'll meet you guys at the tower." Choji's voice spoke and I nodded.
"Alright." Shikamaru replied. Choji's footsteps retreated away and I peeked open an eye to look at Shikamaru. He continued to stare at me, but it wasn't out of anger.
"I just don't like seeing you with her." I stated quietly and Shikamaru continued to only stare. "And I don't think I ever will."
"Do you think we like seeing you with Gaara?" Shikamaru questioned and I only blinked in response. All he ever says is 'we' this, 'we' that. He never states how he feels.
"You told Choji and I you wouldn't 'do that mistake again' yet here you are doing it."
"Well, I didn't get over him okay? That's why I was so leniant with him. That's why I agreed!" I replied loudly. Then it dawned on me. I really haven't gotten over Gaara and that's why I allowed to do this damn mission in the first place.
"Think more rationally next time." He muttered and I wrinkled my nose.
"I hate that word." I mumbled, deciding to let the topic go. Shikamaru sighed in relief before laying back down on the ground. I decided to do the same and laid down staring back up at the clouds. I smiled to myself as I watched them go by.
"Hey, Shika? Remember when we use to come here with Asuma-sensei?" I called and Shikamaru mumbled a lazy "yeah".
I paused to remember the times the four of us layed out here in the same grounds. We have all even taken naps here after our training sessions. It was something we always did.
"He always said the clouds just looked like puffs of smoke." I laughed lightly. "He never looked at them any other shape. And the time Choji confused Asuma-sensei's smoke for clouds?" I laughed a little louder. When I heard no response, I looked over to notice Shikamaru's chest falling up and down slowly with his breaths.
"He fell asleep on me." I frowned. I got up and quietly crawled over towards him. When I was above him, I looked down at his face to see if he was still awake. When he made no reactions, I grabbed his nose and pinched it shut. Shikamaru's eyes flew open and he sat up gasping for air.
"What the hell, Ino. What was that for?" He questioned and I only stared back.
"I wasn't done talking." I responded and Shikamaru sighed as he laid back down.
"Troublesome woman." He closed his eyes with another sigh and I couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, what is it that you weren't done talking about?"
I looked over to think about it and shrugged my shoulders. I laid down next to him. "Eh, it doesn't matter anymore."
"Seriously?" He responded in annoyance and I smirked at him.
"Yeah, you can go back to sleep now." I replied and he shook his head.
"Troublesome." He muttered and I smiled.
"I know." I heard a small chuckle before his breaths began to even out.
A small smile came on my lips as I closed my eyes. I could feel exhaustion beginning to kick in. I guess yelling at people all day can really wear you out. Wait, I still didn't tell Shikamaru about Kakashi-sensei and Anko!
"Oh Shika!" I called and he replied with a groan. "I didn't tell you what I saw two days ago."
"Save it for later, Ino." He mumbled. "Please."
"Fine." I muttered, allowing my eyes to close with sleep.
Sleep seemed to come easier knowing that this mission has been made a whole lot easier. Things between Shikamaru and I seemed to be fixed so now the whole boyfriend thing may end in an easy, successful mission. Maybe. Hopefully.
Sorry for the long wait, guys. College is getting rougher as I get closer to the end. This was also a difficult chapter. Well let me know your opinions, thoughts, concerns, wishes for the story, etc, loves!
Until next time! xoxo~