The wind blew smoothly, caressing my face, clothes, and hair. I stared at the blonde strands of my bangs as it flew into the view of my left eye. This weather was perfect. The sun was shining, but it wasn't blistering hot. The wind kept you cool as you enjoyed the scenery of Konoha. The green trees, leaves, and grass. The buildings that were created in unison by the block. The people of Konoha were enjoying the weather as much as I was. Vendors spoke to potential buyers happily about the weather and their products. Kids ran around screaming in joy around their parents. They wove in and out of the groups of people through the streets, before turning back to their mothers' calls. As peaceful as this scene was, I couldn't feel the peace I wanted. All I felt was the smooth, cold hand that had a grip on mine. The closeness of his clothing against my bare arm caused me to shiver. And the eyes of the villagers, and more importantly, our guard, were on me because of the man I walked next to.
I peered over at him and he was looking ahead. Not a care, or thought, on his face. He seemed at peace. We have been walking for ten minutes silently since we left our group back at the apartments. He wanted alone time to talk, and not a single word has been said. The guard was far back enough to not hear our words, but close enough to know his presence is near us. It was uncomforting knowing someone was constantly watching you. As much as I enjoyed the attention, knowing this man does not like me, and believes everything we are telling and displaying is a lie, doesn't make it wanted. Even though he had every reason in his being to suspect our lies, it was still unsettling. I had a job, a mission that I was being paid VERY good money for. Money that I could use to get new clothes, new hair products, makeup, and shoes. I wish I could say that was the driving force behind this mission, but that would be a lie to myself. Money didn't matter. What matters is I am forced to spend time with this sexy Kazekage next to me, and I liked it. I wanted it, almost needed it. I missed him, there was no denying that fact. Yet it's hard to spend time with someone, when the things they are telling you could be lies made for this mission's purpose. I have to remind myself to go into every conversation, and analyze every comment as if it's part of this mission. Because that's all that is, a mission. A mission that is demoralizing to myself and what I believe in. Oh well, no one said pretty girls had it easy.
"Gaara," I called silently while looked ahead. I released his hand, and slipped my arm in the crook of his. He looked over not saying a single word. It's his way of acknowledging you to speak. I couldn't help but give a small smile. Yet sometimes, that shit was irritating.
"Where are we going?" I looked up at him and he looked into my eyes a moment longer, before looking ahead. I continued staring at his face until he finally answered me.
"I don't know." He responded and my face dropped into irritation.
"We have been walking aimlessly for fifteen minutes?" I scowled at him, yet I kept my hold on his arm.
"Yeah," He replied then gave me one eyed smile and I shook my head.
"For a Kage, you seem clueless sometimes." I muttered while squinting at him followed with a devious, sexy smile. He gave me a small twitch of his lips before directing his attention ahead of us.
"Only in other villages, Ino." He replied and I nodded.
"Fair enough." I responded while staring at the blue sky. I looked ahead and spotted the Konoha market. Fabrics, clothes, accessories displayed themselves magnificently and my eyes were drawn. I directed us towards that path and he followed with no dispute.
As we made our way in, I began to exam the colored fabrics of one stand. The woman smiled at me, knowing who I am, and left me be. Gaara stood staring at a scarf in silence. His face was tranquil as he stared at the fabric. I bit my inner cheek as I figured out what to say. I had questions, questions that would best be asked now while we were "alone". I grabbed a vibrant pink scarf and walked towards him. He looked down at me and I wrapped the scarf around my arms and neck.
"How does this look?" I asked, giving a dashing smile and a flutter of my lashes.
He stared long at me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, if he was, while he took in the scarf. These were the times that were grating. I disliked when I couldn't tell his expression or what was on his mind. I felt clueless and I'm a master at body language. Yet I couldn't even decipher a single gesture from him.
"It's not purple," He finally responded and I rolled my eyes with a smirk on my mouth. I kept the fabric on as I walked towards another scarf. He followed instinctively. Good boy.
"I don't always have to wear purple," I spoke but couldn't help the smile on my mouth.
"I can't see you any other color," He admitted and I rose an eyebrow.
"It's because that's the only color you've seen on me, Gaara," I reminded him as I picked up a scarf that gradually went from a dark navy blue, to a beautiful baby blue. With gentle sparkle and glitter among the colors. I picked this one up and held it to my cheek.
"This one?" I asked and he watched me again. This time, he stared at me but his eyes didn't seem to be focused. As if he was thinking of something else while he looked at me.
"It's beautiful," he muttered. "But, not for you."
I gave a small gasp of exasperation, while placing it down. I traced another scarf while looking around to see if anyone was nearby in hearing distance. I noticed the guard stood two stands away.
"Gaara, can I ask you a question?" I gently spoke not looking up at him. "And do you promise to answer me truthfully?"
I looked up at him and noticed he was looking at me. He gave me a small nod while looking into my eyes. I gave a small smile and looked back down.
"Were you a virgin before me?" I asked, trying to speak in a matter of fact tone. One, two, three…
"No," He responded in three seconds and I nodded.
"How many women have you slept with before me?" I asked keeping my attention on a red scarf.
"Three." He muttered and I closed my eyes. Matsuri flew into my mind and a sudden jealousy flew through me.
"Have I ever met any of these women?" I asked him and this time I looked up at him. He shook his head.
"No, I doubt it." He responded while keeping his eyes on me. He was cool, relaxed. And I never wished so much that I could feel the same way.
"Can I help you with anything today, ma'am?" The stand owner came to me with a kind smile, her eyes squinted because of the sun. I gave her a returning smile and replied "no."
"Let me know, if I can be of any assistance," She responded before walking away to another customer. I watched her before looking back at Gaara. His eyes remained on me, as if urging me to continue, or drop the subject.
"Who took your virginity?" I asked and Gaara tensed. His calmed posture went away and he looked away down at another scarf.
"Why must we discuss this Ino?" He asked me, ignoring my question. My uneasiness was replaced with anger and I accepted it.
"Because I want to know." I retorted and Gaara closed his eyes.
"A woman who I used to train with before I became Kazekage." He opened his eyes and I nodded but kept my eyes down as I took in what he said.
"Were you two being taught together? Was she from your village?" I asked curiously and Gaara shook his head.
"She was my teacher. And no, she's not from my village. She is from Sand country, but a smaller village down south." He responded and I furrowed my brow.
"Is she that skilled to be teaching so young?" I asked confused and he shook his head. He let out a sigh.
"No. She's older." He responded and I raised my eyebrow in shock.
"How old was she, Gaara?" I asked loudly and he didn't falter.
"Ino, speak quietly," He acknowledged me of the people around us and some stares we got.
"Anwser my question then!" I restated and he gave one nod.
"She was twenty five at the time, she's twenty eight now." He stated, speaking smoothly as if talking about an old friend, or family member. It kind of irked me.
"How old were you?" I asked quickly.
"Fifteen, Ino." He responded and I stared up at him in shock.
"That's rape, Gaara. You were too young." I shook my head at the information and Gaara only shook his head.
"We were two consenting adults," He responded and I frowned at him.
"She was your teacher! She was the consenting adult, not you." I reminded him and Gaara sighed.
"Ino, let it go. It happened a long time ago." He reminded me and I only stared at him angrily. That's the same as me being with one of my instructors! I sighed and decided to let it go. He's talking to me and I don't want to lose it. It doesn't mean that part of our conversation would end.
"What was her name?" I asked calmly as I looked at a pair of earrings on display.
"Antwanetsu-san," he responded and I nodded once.
"What did she train you on?" I asked trying to keep the conversation light and normal. I began to walk towards another stand with hair products and he followed closely. I kept my arms cross in front of my chest as I walked.
"Taijutsu. She is one of the best in the Sand country." He answered and I nodded.
"Was she beautiful?" I asked, not sure if I was ready for the answer. Gaara closed his eyes and kept them closed.
"Yes," he replied and a part of me sank. He was so positive. It almost made me wonder…
"Did you love her?" I caught myself asking and Gaara opened his eyes to look at me. He blinked once while he stared into my eyes. It was unnerving and I wanted to break the eye contact, but I wanted my answer.
"I don't love, Ino." He responded and my heart sank. That wasn't the answer I wanted, and I don't think I'm happy with it. I'd rather hear a yes… so there was a reason to why he didn't love me…
"Yes you can," I stated too quickly while picking up a bottle of shampoo to read it. "Do you guys still keep in contact?"
"Yes, she is a friend." He responded immediately and I looked up at him bemused.
"Wait, what?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed and I put down the bottle of shampoo.
"She has always been a good friend to me, as I am to her." He restated and I shook my head while holding up a hand to him.
"You're telling me you still speak to this woman? After what she did to you?" I questioned bemusedly. I could feel the anger simmering, no, BOILING inside of me. How could he allow this woman to remain a friend of his?
"She did not do anything I didn't want, Ino. It helped… change me for the good." He tried to acknowledge me but I shook my head.
"You were too young, Gaara." I reminded him and he shook his head. He almost seemed… irritated.
"Ino. What happened, happened. It's over. That happened way before you." He returned and I rolled my eyes.
"So you haven't slept with her, after me?" I asked and Gaara stared at me. Two seconds.
"No," He responded and I gave a petty laugh.
"You hesitated, Gaara. I told you not to lie to me." I spoke while shaking my head.
"It was after you left, Ino." He replied slowly and I looked at him confused.
"So was that all I was to you, Gaara? Some blonde bitch that let you take my virginity and get what you want? So once I'm gone and obviously angry with you, you decided 'well I'm not getting any more from her, let me hit up the old lovers'?" I began shouting and people began looking our way. Gaara looked around but looked back at me. Irritation showed on his face, and suddenly it felt like we were back in Suna. My last night in Suna.
"Ino you were angry. You confessed your feelings for me. I was confused, and didn't know what to do."
"So you hit her up, and decided hey! Come to Suna, let's fuck?" I retorted while using my hands in my argument.
"This isn't the place, Ino," He reminded me. His voice was stern, but low so others would not hear.
"No," I exclaimed, crossing my arms in front of me. "I think this is the PERFECT place."
"Ma'am, can I help you with anything?" A young woman who owned the stand asked in fear.
"NO." I responded immediately not even looking at her. She quickly backed off and walked away.
"Ino, you're being irrational," Gaara stated and I sighed in exasperation.
"Not that fucking word again," I yelled and closed my eyes. I opened them and looked over Gaara's shoulder. The guard was now only a stand away and we caught eyes. He raised his eyebrows. He sees the commotion and is probably only catching what I have to say. Fuck… the mission.
"Gaara, do you understand why I am upset?" I asked him breathless. My voice lowered a bit and he seemed a bit relieved.
"No," He responded and something snapped in me.
"What do you mean 'no'?!" I shouted again and everyone looked back at the commotion. Gaara only stared at me… looking confused. I placed my forehead in my hand while I loudly sighed my irritation.
"That's right. I'm talking to someone who doesn't understand basic human emotions." I mumbled and suddenly felt lighter. I looked up and Gaara was… walking away. Away from me. Oh fuck no.
I quickly walked to catch up with him, but he strode faster. Shit, he was going to get away. I looked over and saw Zanto looking, and I swear that cheeky bastard was smiling. I need alone time from him. Only one thing to do. I quickly signed the signs I knew in my sleep and aimed my hands toward him. Silently I mouthed my jutsu and I was gone.
I opened my eyes to see myself on a bench. The benches near the gate. I looked down at my hands. They were… mine. What happened?
What my body was resting on moved, and I looked up to see that I was leaning on Gaara. He looked at me, his face not giving away a single expression.
"It didn't work, did it?" I mumbled down at my lap and Gaara shook his head.
"I could sense it, and avoided it. I brought you here until you recovered." He stated and I laughed a petty laugh at myself.
"That's why you're a Kage," I mumbled and looked over at him. He only looked at me, but I could see he was relaxed.
"Where's Zanto?" I asked as I looked around curiously.
"I told him to give us some time alone." He acknowledged and I nodded.
"Can we talk here, if I promise to maintain my calm?" I asked quietly, not wanting to look up at him.
"Yes, Ino." He responded and I smiled at him.
"First off, I want to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said. At the moment, I was angry and I didn't mean to be insulting. I was just reminding myself that you sometimes don't understand."
"You're right," He cut me off and I looked over. "I don't understand some emotions like I should. That's what isolation does to an individual. But I am trying to comprehend these feelings and when I tell you I do not understand, then I do not understand the reason behind your feelings."
"Gaara, I think that's programmed in the male brain not to understand women's feelings." I lectured and he looked over… confused. "I mean, women have different reactions to situations, events, and people differently from men. A lot of men don't understand it. Whether isolated or not. It's instinct."
"Temari's mentioned something along the lines of that before," he remembered and I smiled.
"Well she's right. Anyways, Gaara, I'm upset with you not understanding why I'm upset. Do you know how it would feel if right after I left Suna, I hooked up with another man?" I asked him and Gaara looked away in thought. It took some time for him to respond, and I tried to sit there as patiently as I could. It's hard when you're not a patient person.
"I wouldn't like it," he finally responded and I looked at him with that 'you-see?' look.
"That's how I feel. It feels as if everything in Suna… was a lie. That all I was to you, was some piece of ass," I admitted and Gaara closed his eyes.
"Ino, that is not at all what you are to me," he opened his eyes to look at me and I looked up. "You are an intelligent, brave, defying, beautiful kunoichi. You are a person I respect in all ways. You're talented, funny, and very insightful. Do not doubt yourself because of me. You know you are more." He finished and I felt my heart jump up into my head. Those were the sweetest words he has ever said. Even if it sounded like he was speaking business to someone. I knew what he meant.
"Then why did you deny me?" I whispered looking down but I could feel Gaara's gaze on me.
"Because Ino, I cannot give you what you deserve." He finally answered and I looked up. I wanted to cry. I couldn't tell if it was because maybe what he said was true, the truth behind it, or the fact that he truly thinks that of himself.
"Gaara," I spoke trying to get rid of any feeling of tears away, "I want you to know that you are capable of loving someone. You may not see it that way, but I have witnessed it, your siblings have witnessed it, and your village has witnessed it. I know you don't believe it, but you should." I stared at him and he only nodded in response.
"I'm also sorry for the way I reacted about that woman, but it's my belief and that's not going to change. I won't bring it up… for now. But know I'm not okay with it." I confessed and he looked at me confused.
"Then why did you bring it up in the first place?"
"Because I'm curious!" I responded quickly but immediately lowered my voice and temper. "Because it was a thought I've had for a while and I wanted the answer. Whether I like it or not, I'm glad to have an answer to that question." I smiled at him and he only stared at me. So much for another emotional response.
"With that being said, do you have any questions for me?" I asked him lightly hoping to get a response. He looked away and stared at the buildings of Konoha. I followed his gaze and stared at an open window on an apartment complex.
"Have you slept with anyone since me?" He asked and I looked at him. The answer was no, but I didn't like the idea of me sounding completely committed to this man after what happened. Plus… I almost did.
"Not necessarily," I responded softly and I could feel his posture tense next to me. Oops.
"Who?" He asked, almost demanded and I froze.
"We didn't have sex," I reminded him but he didn't falter.
"Who, Ino?" He repeated and I tensed. I can't tell him.
"I don't want to tell you," I admitted and I looked down at my hands.
"Do I know him, Ino?" He questioned sternly and I closed my eyes. Fuck.
"Yeah," I should have lied. But I couldn't find myself to lie under his gaze.
"Was it Nara?" He asked, his voice low and immediately I looked up.
"No." I answered too quickly. Gaara couldn't know. It would ruin everything. Even for Shikamaru.
He closed his eyes and his hands fisted tightly
"It was him," He muttered and I grabbed his hand.
"I didn't sleep with him, Gaara." I restated urgently and he only shifted his hand away.
"How?" He asked and I furrowed my brow.
"We didn't sleep together!" I yelled frantically. "I came to talk to him about what happened between us. I had no one else to tell! Then I kissed him Gaara, he didn't do it. I am the one who came to him. I kissed him and he pulled me away saying 'no'. That he was with Temari. I was confused. I was scared. I was lonely."
"Next time do not lecture me about what I have done after you, if you have done the same." He stated and I felt a vein pop. Away went sadness, replaced with anger.
"Excuse me? I didn't sleep with Shikamaru. You slept with THAT woman. It didn't happen right away! This was after Asuma's death. I was in a low point, Gaara! What's your excuse?" I shouted and Gaara just stared at my angered expression. His eyes gave off no response nor did his face. He looked almost… bored.
"I don't need one, Ino." He stated and I flinched back. "You see Nara every day. There's a past between you two… Do you consider yourselves friends?"
"Of course we are friends! Nothing more." I hissed. "And there is a past between you and her!"
"That happened in the past, Ino." He reminded me.
"Same with Shikamaru and I! It only happened once. Never before. How many times have you slept with her, huh?" I shouted and squinted my eyes at him.
"You said you would bring this back up," Gaara responded and I rolled my eyes.
"Well you started giving me shit about Shikamaru! Anwser me." I hissed and stared daggers at the Kage. He looked away and stared at a tree nearby. What was he thinking?
"We were in another location in Sand during training. We had shared boarding room." He responded and I felt disgust go through me.
"So after your training, you guys didn't sleep together anymore?" I asked with my eyebrows raised as high as I could.
He didn't respond right away and I sighed angrily. I scooted away from him and crossed my arms while sitting back on the bench.
"Why are you angry with me?" He asked after some time and I looked over.
"What do you mean 'why am I angry?'" I questioned and Gaara face my direction.
"I do not understand…" He closed his eyes then opened them. He almost seemed confused. "I do not understand why you are so angry about something that happened before I met you."
I froze while trying to figure out a response to his question. Why am I angry at him for something that happened before I met him? Because she took his virginity? Because she was older? Because it wasn't me… More so, because I'm jealous.
I sighed and my shoulders sunk.
"You're right. I shouldn't be angry. All I can say is… you wouldn't understand." I responded and Gaara looked away.
"No, no! Not like that," I grabbed his hand and he looked back at me. "I mean it's a situation that you haven't gone through and so therefore, you wouldn't understand."
He nodded and I released my hand from his.
"So… does she know about me?" I asked curiously with one eyebrow bent up.
"Yes," He replied and I peeked up interested. She does?
"What does she know?" I asked, feeling a bit flattered that she knew of me.
"That I find you beautiful… you wear a lot of purple… and your personality… She wanted to meet you." He told me and I shook my head with confusion.
"Meet me? Was she in Suna when I was there?" I asked feeling very confused and embarrassed.
"At the end. She was the one who told me you ran off with Zuko and Zenma," He acknowledged me and I grinned.
"She was in your office?" I asked, feeling a bit jealous and irritated.
"I told you she's a friend." He muttered staring at me and I looked into his eyes. I tightened my lips and then sighed.
"I still don't like it," I muttered, but then gave him a small smile. "But I'll let it go… for now."
He nodded and I gave a nod in reply.
"Come," He stated standing up. I stood up as well and we began walking.
"Where are we going?" I asked him and he just kept walking. I took notice of the setting sun and I had a feeling our day was over.
"You have an early day tomorrow." He reminded me and I nodded.
"Okay."
When we made it to his apartment, I gave him a small smile.
"I'll see you tomorrow for lunch," I stated and he stared down into my eyes. He only nodded and I bit my lip.
"Good-bye." I said in farewell. Before I could turn to leave I felt hands on my waist and Gaara's lips crashed down on mine.
My eyes were first opened, but I closed them as I fell into his kiss. I missed this. I immediately forgot the arguments of our day and only focused on the feel of his lips against mine. He released me and only looked down. Not a single expression on his face.
"Good-bye," He replied then turned to head into the apartment.
I stood there dumbfounded and crossed my arms while laughing pettily to myself.
"You've got to be kidding me," I smiled as I began to walk away.
"Isn't that what you are supposed to do? Kiss and make-up?" He asked confused.
"I guess so," I whispered with a silly smile on my face.
Hope you guys enjoyed! Please leave a review, it helps encourage me to write more!
Until next time, loves!