In the First Degree

by elphiemolizbethbau

In the immediate aftermath of being drugged and assaulted, Amanda must come to terms with what it is to be the victim of a sex crime. Supported by Olivia and the SVU team, she gets a look at the criminal justice system from the other side of the lens, and learns what it truly means to be a survivor. Established Rolivia. TRIGGER WARNING/discussion of rape. Details inside!

2. Arrest Part 2

In the First Degree

Arrest Part 2

A/N: Thank you so much for your comments and follows! I really appreciate all of you! Please feel free to drop a comment and let me know what you like about this story or any other thoughts you may have. If you would like to connect via social media, my Instagram/twitter is faceinbud.

The person who attacked Amanda is revealed in this chapter, and I'm going to do my best to explain the situation (next chapter), but if it ends up not making sense, ask me, and I'll do better next time! As always, I know how important stories about this topic are, and I want to do my best to get it right. If you ever notice an inconsistency or insensitivity, I want to know about it. As my audience, I consider you all my betas. *This is where I would put a heart if I could use emojis on ff/AO3*

I need to add both a disclaimer that I do not own SVU or its characters and a TRIGGER WARNING to anyone who is especially sensitive to the subject of sexual assault. ANGST TO COME!

Hospital ceilings are just too white, too happy for the things that go on here.

The paramedics rolled Amanda's gurney into the ER, Olivia racing to keep up with them, trying her best to keep herself in Amanda's field of vision, which she knew was still relatively narrow thanks to her limited ability to move.

Mr. IV Man spoke up as soon as he made eye contact with a doctor, the ER's attending physician. His words were so rushed that Olivia was sure she was missing some of the information he was giving. "Detective Amanda Rollins, thirty-three years old. Held hostage, paralyzed, and attacked by an unknown subject. Traumatic blood loss in the field. Pulse is rapid and thready. BP is seventy-four over fifty-eight. Respiration rate is elevated. Type AB-positive. This is the detective that found her."

Seeing that her patient was conscious, the ER attending began speaking to her as the crowd of people fully entered the Emergency room, shining a pen light in both of her eyes. "Detective Rollins, I'm Doctor Wilde. We're going to take care of you." She paused for a moment, turning to Olivia. "Detective, I need you to stay in the waiting room until we have her stabilized."

Before the brunette could answer, both women witnessed Amanda begin to forcefully blink over and over again. "She's saying no," Olivia quickly explained to the doctor. "Amanda, baby, I'm going to be right here. They're going to keep you warm and give you some blood, and I'll be waiting for them to come get me."

I don't wanna be alone anymore.

Olivia faintly heard Dr. Wilde whisper to the team of nurses, "Give her just a second. The calmer we can keep her, the better."

Olivia reached out to smooth Amanda's hair, keeping a hand on a bruised cheek for a moment as she watched a single tear escape one of her girlfriend's eyes. Her skin was clammy and cold, and there was quite a bit of blood beginning to cake in her hair. At least the small laceration the older woman had just noticed on the blonde's hairline didn't look like it was still bleeding. How did Olivia not notice this before? Maybe it just wasn't the injury she was preoccupied with, and she had too much other information to process. Olivia just wanted to know what was going on in Amanda's mind. She was more than willing to do what she could do to calm Amanda and slow her quick, shallow breathing, but she didn't know what the blonde needed to hear, and until the paralytic wore off, she couldn't ask her. "Listen to me," she whispered, her voice breaking as she wiped away the runaway tear delicately. "No one is going to hurt you, my love. You are safe now. The doctor and the nurses are going to take you now, but," she looked up at the team of medical providers, adding pointedly, "they are going to walk you through everything they're doing. We know that you're scared, sweetheart, but I need you to be brave for just a little while longer." Olivia brought Amanda's icy fingers to her lips, kissing a set of knuckles. "Okay?"

Olivia waited for one last intentional blink, symbolizing Amanda's "yes", before letting go of the hand she held and stepping out of the way of the care team as they wheeled her by.

She held Dr. Wilde back for just a moment. "Doctor, we believe she was sexually assaulted."

Dr. Wilde nodded. "Thank you for telling me, but we have bigger fish to fry than a rape kit. Detective, your criminal trial is not my priority.

Olivia's head bobbed in understanding and agreement. "I know, and it isn't mine either. I'm not asking you to get a nurse examiner yet. Just, if you can, please try to preserve some evidence."

The doctor was an intelligent woman, and it was clear to her at this point that these two were more than simply colleagues. "We'll do our best, Detective...?" she trailed off.

"Benson. Call me Olivia."

The physician's features turned kind, and she placed a comforting hand on Olivia's arm. "I'll keep you updated, Olivia. Go ahead and have a seat. We'll get you back there as soon as we can. Hang in there."

The detective watched as Dr. Wilde bounded past the double doors that led to Amanda, before sitting in a waiting room chair, a leg bouncing anxiously. How the hell had this happened? Who had done this? And why? Amanda put on a front at work about being tough (she loved to play bad cop during interrogations) but there was a softness to her that she often saved only for Olivia. And no matter how much the older woman knew about sexual violence and how it worked, the "why?" question permeated her thoughts.

There were so many things that made this situation awful. Olivia had just enough information to send her into a panic-induced frenzy, only the amount of information that would produce a pool of vomit on the waiting room floor if she thought enough about it, and she knew just enough of the story for her heart to damn near break in two. It wasn't that the SVU detective believed anyone was deserving of this, but Amanda? No. Absolutely not.

All she wanted was to go back to a time before this (even earlier that day would have sufficed), to wake up in the morning and feel Amanda in her arms, safe and sound. All Olivia wanted was to love her girlfriend with everything she had, even to prepare her sometimes fragile spirit for what would surely come in the next several months. How long would the recovery take? And then the trial? As an advocate for survivors, she knew how to counsel women through this process, but Amanda wasn't any other survivor, and Olivia would have to be there through it all—through every nightmare, every flashback. And it's not that she wasn't grateful for this—God, how Olivia thanked a higher power she wasn't sure she believed in that Amanda was even still alive—but this was going to be grueling for Amanda, and by proxy, for her.

Suddenly, Olivia's phone roared to life. She sniffed before composing herself to answer the call. "Captain Cragen. Look, I know I disobeyed orders, so if you need to take disciplinary action, I get it, but I won't apol—"

"Liv, I'm not expecting an apology. You did the right thing, trusting your gut. And I'm sorry for not believing in Rollins the way that you do. I won't make that mistake again. I'm calling to check in."

Olivia tried and failed to conceal the shakiness of her voice and the quiver of her lip as she replied, rubbing at tired eyes with the fingers of her free hand. "It's…it's bad, Cap. I mean, she's conscious and somewhat responsive, but she can't talk, so we have no way of knowing what happened, and she knows who did it, but she can't tell us, so this son of a bitch is still out—"

"Benson," he interrupted her. "We have someone in custody."

"Who?"

"Olivia, you know I can't tell you that yet. Fin is on his way with a photo lineup. I don't want the defense to have any ammunition to say you influenced the ID, so wait until she's stable and clear-headed." Cragen sighed. "Also-Liv."

"What?" She sat up farther in the chair. "Do you know what happened? Did he confess?"

"We can talk more about that after the ID. But this is Amanda's story to tell, and you should let her tell it. When she's ready."

The detective nodded, more so at herself than towards her boss. "I—Cragen, I have to call you back. Amanda's doctor just walked out."

"Dr. Wilde," she greeted anxiously after hanging up the phone, standing up to get the physician's attention. The doctor gave her a small smile as she approached, gesturing for her to sit down. "Is Amanda—"

"She's stable," the doctor confirmed, watching Olivia sigh in relief. "Does Amanda have next of kin or someone I can call for her?"

Olivia shook her head. "I'm kind of her only family. I know we're not married, but-"

Dr. Wilde put up her hand to stop the rambling detective. "No worries, Olivia. You don't need to justify your relationship to me. I just wanted to check." She waited for the detective to bob her head in acknowledgment before continuing. "I want to share with you a little about what's going on and what we did for Amanda. Do you think you're ready to hear some of that?" Olivia nodded. For now, Dr. Wilde may be able to tell her more about what had happened than Amanda could. "She was injected with a neuromuscular blocking drug called pancuronium bromide."

"Isn't that sometimes used in executions?" What kind of side effects would this drug have on Amanda's body?

The doctor nodded. "You may want to look into law enforcement officers or trained health care professionals for this attack. Someone connected to either of those institutions may have been able to get their hands on the drug. What we know about drugs like these is that they relax muscles to the point of paralysis. The dose she was given was high enough to completely incapacitate her, but it wasn't so high that that it majorly impacted her breathing or so high that I expect there will be incredibly long-term effects. Based on the amount of function she's regained until now, I would say she was injected a little over two hours before she was admitted. We started a reversal drug, and that should speed up the process some."

Olivia wanted to be relieved, but she knew that this drug had rendered her girlfriend completely powerless, and she was also acutely aware-because of how controversial pancuronium was when it was used in executions-that it had no anesthetic effects. For those two hours, Amanda was completely conscious. "How much longer until she can talk and move normally?"

"That's hard to say, Detective." Dr. Wilde thought for a moment, wanting to comfort her patient's loved one while still providing her with accurate information. "I don't expect it too take too much longer for her to be at near full function, maybe an hour or so, but she'll likely be weak for longer than that." Dr. Wilde paused for a moment to allow Olivia to process. "What other questions do you have for me so far?"

The brunette wracked her brain. Of course there was more she wanted to know, but what could the doctor tell her? "She was clearly in shock. Have her symptoms improved?"

"I'm guessing in your line of work, you have some experience with hypovolemic shock?" the doctor asked gently.

Olivia nodded. "Neither of us are strangers to blood, but it really looked like a lot."

"I can't imagine how scary seeing that type of blood loss would have been, Olivia, but I have some good news for you. All of the bleeding has stopped. We have given one unit of O-negative blood, along with supportive care like warm IV fluids, and her blood pressure has stabilized, so I think we are just going to continue the fluids. Her heartrate is still slightly elevated, but that's common with pancuronium, so we'll continue to monitor her as it wears off and make sure her pulse gets and stays below one hundred. We'll also draw some labs in a few hours to check on kidney function. We cleaned and stitched the laceration on her forehead, but once we were sure the bleeding had stopped, we decided not to do too much with any vaginal trauma, especially while she's still weak. Everything is bandaged lightly, that way it's easy to remove the dressing for documentation and examination. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes, thank you." Olivia covered her face with both hands for a moment, willing herself to find the strength to remain present and find out as much as she could about what had happened. "Why was she bleeding so much?"

Olivia appreciated the frankness of the doctor's words, and it wasn't as if she didn't speak softly, but as the woman spoke, the detective was reminded over and over again of the reality of the situation. She wasn't checking on a vic. This was Amanda. "The increase in heartrate that the pancuronium causes initially induces a spike in blood pressure as well, which can lead to excessive bleeding with the abrasions common in sexual assault, and we also know that head injuries bleed more. This kind of blood loss is not inconsistent with the injuries she sustained, and again, she's stable now and is no longer bleeding."

"Is she in pain?"

"We offered some pain management, but she indicated there was some family history of addiction, and we can't give anything OTC orally until we know she can swallow safely. She is also thirsty, which is common in shock patients, but in addition to our concerns about swallowing, we didn't know what your plans are as far as evidence collection. There is water in her room, so when you all are ready to let her drink, make sure she starts slow."

"So, she is in pain."

The doctor placed a hand on Olivia's shoulder, offering her a sad smile. "She seems to be coping fairly well."

"Can I…can I see her?"

Dr. Wilde nodded, her smile growing wider. "She's asking for you."

Olivia was led past the double doors and into a curtained off area of the Emergency Room. "We'll move her up onto the trauma floor for the night in just a few hours," the doctor explained.

Dr. Wilde pulled the curtain to the side, gesturing for Olivia to enter the area. "Thank you, Doctor," the detective muttered before locking eyes with Amanda, deciding to approach her.

Amanda was hooked up to an IV and some supplemental oxygen through a nasal canula, there was still some blood in her hair, and her face just looked tired, but overall, she looked a lot better than she had when Olivia had last seen her, clothed loosely in a hospital gown. Immediately, the blonde weakly lifted a hand up, beckoning her girlfriend over. "O…livia."

The older woman couldn't stop the flow of tears that begun running down her face as she rushed to Amanda's side. "Look at you, moving and talking. I'm so proud of you!"

Amanda grunted. "It's…hard."

"I bet," Olivia empathized. "The doctor said it should get easier soon." The blonde tried to reach again for Olivia's hand, and when she noticed what Amanda was feebly attempting to do, the long-time SVU detective grasped onto it, holding it tightly in both of her hands. "Can I ask?" she began, watching Amanda grimace as she tried to shift towards her girlfriend in the hospital bed. "Would you be willing to take some pain meds?"

The blonde knew how hard it must have been for Olivia to see her this clearly uncomfortable. To the team of nurses, she had rated her pain level at a five, deciding not to give it the thought required to be more accurate. Amanda was doing a relatively good job of still focusing on the cold, though it wasn't as all-consuming as it had been before, and at least she had Olivia's touch to focus on now—she could notice the way in which each of their hands moved against the other, she could appreciate the unique grooves in her girlfriend's fingertips, and though she was definitely still hurting, the blonde needed to focus on the positive for a little while. "It's a decision…" she began to explain, "that I…needed to make…for me. When they clear me…for Tylenol…I will take it."

Liv offered her girlfriend a sad smile. She didn't like Amanda's answer, but she had to respect it. It had never been more important for the blonde's wishes to be honored, and Olivia was willing to lose this battle in order to win the war of her girlfriend's overall recovery.

Amanda looked up at the older woman, her own eyes watering for only the second time in several hours. Good to know she'd gotten the crying function back. That was definitely going to come in handy. "Thank, you, Liv…for bein' here." This had already been the longest day of the younger woman's life, and she knew it was really only starting. Now that she was stable, it was time to start discussing what needed to happen next as far as the prosecution of Amanda's rapist. She wouldn't truly get to rest for many days.

Olivia nodded, reaching out to wipe a few tears off of Amanda's still pale cheeks. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." She saw a small flinch in response to the action, barely noticeable, but clear to anyone who understood Amanda that it was a microexpression of fear. The brunette saw her hand instinctively pull away from her girlfriend's skin. She wasn't quite sure how to move forward here. Amanda was clearly reaching out to her and wanted her to be close, but was she not wanting to be touched? At what point were Olivia's gestures of comfort becoming counterproductive? Was Amanda not voicing this information simply because it was physically difficult to speak, or was she worried about making Olivia feel bad so early on in this process? "Baby, I'm noticing you flinching away from my touch. Now, that's okay, but I just want to check in. Are you wanting some space?"

Amanda grasped tightly to Olivia's hand with more strength than she had used up to that point. "No. Please…don't go. I'm sorry." She didn't mean to flinch away from Olivia. She didn't want to, but she couldn't control it. Her body was still very much on edge, and now that she possessed the physical capability of flinching away from touch, she seemed to be involuntarily compensating for the hours that came before. She wished she could explain this to her girlfriend, her amazing girlfriend, who was already—no surprise!—being gentler with her than she probably deserved. "It's just…a lot."

Olivia pulled up a chair so she could sit down next to Amanda, taking a deep breath. She kept one hand wrapped around Amanda's right because she could tell that the blonde was trying to hold on. "I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now, sweetheart, but I want to do what I can to help. Do you think you can try explaining to me what that is?"

The blonde nodded with some effort, trying to sit up but eventually giving up with a slight wince. "I…"

Olivia bobbed her head up and down in encouragement. "Take it one word at a time," she coaxed. Amanda was generally a rather articulate person, and she expressed herself through speech successfully ninety-nine percent of the time. It went without saying that this had her slightly off kilter, having to choose words not because of what made the most sense, but based on what would be easier to say.

"…need," Amanda continued, "you to be…you. Touch me…if it feels natural. I'll say somethin'…if I don't…want it." Olivia nodded in understanding, reaching out to ever so delicately brush a piece of Amanda's hair behind her ear, and the brunette watched as her girlfriend softly closed her eyes, savoring the touch. "Thank you," she whispered. "I need…the reminder…that I'm with you…and not with…you know?" It occurred to Amanda for the first time that Olivia probably didn't know who her attacker was, and the fact that she hadn't even asked about it yet was something that Amanda didn't really know how to feel about. The younger woman wanted to believe that Olivia's intention in not asking was to give her the space and time she needed to make a formal disclosure, but she still worried about what her reaction would end up being.

The conflict in her mind caused her breathing to speed up, as evidenced by the vitals monitor at her bedside. "Liv," Amanda coughed after a moment, "…water."

Olivia glanced at the pitcher of water on the table next to Amanda's bed. Next to it was a small plastic cup with a straw in it. The detective didn't know what to say. "Baby, I don't know if—"

Amanda knew what Olivia's concerns were. She had already discussed—or tried to discuss—them with Dr Wilde. The blonde started by exaggerating a swallow, ensuring Liv noticed that it was something she could do. Then, she placed a hand on the brunette's arm, her voice becoming very serious, even though in her anxious state, breathing was becoming more labor intensive. "Won't…wash away…anything. Please."

Liv's head bobbed up and down. At least she had one thing to be relieved about, she thought as she reached for the water and poured a small amount into a cup. "Okay, love." She guided Amanda's hand to grasp the cup before bringing the straw to her lips. "Start with small sips."

After Amanda drank a little, she pulled the cup away from her mouth and Olivia went to take it from her. "I can hold it," she insisted. "The good news...shock causes urinary...retention, so I won't...have to pee for a while. Which is great cause...I don't want a catheter."

Olivia smiled softly. The lubrication of Amanda's throat that the small drink of water had provided seemed to have made it easier for her to speak her mind. "We'll take everything as it comes, love," she promised, running a hand up and down Amanda's forearm, relieved when the blonde hummed at the touch, "one step at a time. I'm here to support you through every decision, but I want you to know that they're your decisions to make.

Amanda thought for a moment. "You're not...just talking about...medical care right now, are you?" She slowly sipped some more water, waiting for the brunette to respond.

Shifting in her seat, Olivia began to speak slowly, aware of how important it was for Amanda to know she was in the driver's seat here. "Baby, I'm not here to ask for a statement or push for a kit. I'm here for you. But I do want you to know that Fin is on his way, and it's something we need to address. If you're not ready to move forward with this, then just let me know. There's no pressure."

Amanda shook her head. "No, I want to. I want my day in court." It was the most coherent sentence she had put together so far, and it wasn't accidental. The blonde, though grateful for Olivia's patience and willingness to let her take the reins, wanted her girlfriend to know that she fully intended to press charges. This man had held power over her for far too long, and now that Amanda had the support of Olivia, Alex, and the rest of the squad, there would never be a better time for her to take her power back.

Olivia went to respond, but a knock on the wall beside the curtain divider separating Amanda from other patients stopped her. It was Fin. He entered the area carrying a tablet.

Amanda decided to waste no time, managing a successful attempt of sitting up farther. "Did you find him?"

Fin nodded, stepping towards Olivia and Amanda. "We have someone in custody."

Overwhelmed at the idea of having to make an ID, Amanda's overall orientation became more shaky, and she suddenly decided to try her best to exit the hospital bed, attempting to reach for her IV line. If she needed to face her attacker behind a one-way mirror, then that's what she was going to do.

Both of the other detectives in the room reached to stop her, but it was Fin who spoke first. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, speedy, you're not goin' anywhere."

Olivia tried a slightly gentler approach, knowing that her girlfriend had begun to spin. "Love, you need to rest. We need you to stay here."

Fin knew what Amanda was trying to accomplish, so he assured her, "I have a photo array."

"Of course." There was no way this hospital would or should discharge her at this point. Was it beginning to get hot in the hospital room? "I'm sorry, guys," Amanda heaved, getting resituated in the bed with Olivia's support. "I'm still kinda out of it."

Olivia, having stood up to prevent Amanda from pulling out her IV, sat back down in order to return to Amanda's eye level. "Do you want to do this later?"

"No, I'm good," Amanda decided. "It's just the reversal drug and the shock. Another reason I said no to morphine."

As Fin went to hand the tablet to Amanda, the monitor keeping tabs on her vitals began to sound an alarm. Olivia looked up to see that her pulse was nearing one hundred forty, so she blocked the transfer of the lineup of photos, knowing Amanda's medical stability came first. "Sweetheart, we need to keep your heart rate down. If you're not ready-"

"Well, this is not gonna be fun for me, Olivia!" Amanda threw her hands up into the air, the dramatic gesture putting strain on all the areas of her body that already hurt. Though the tone in her voice stung, Liv was more concerned with her girlfriend's rising blood pressure and heart rate. The brunette watched as her eyes slammed shut and she attempted to take a few deep breaths, the curtain of the "room" Amanda was in sliding open to reveal a nurse. When she noticed the presence of this young woman, Amanda nodded in acknowledgement. "I'm fine. I'm just upset."

The nurse was understanding. "We need you to try and stay calm."

Amanda remained silent, taking intentionally slow breaths until the machine by her bedside shut the fuck up, before looking back to the nurse. "I'm calm."

Fin addressed the nurse, holding up his badge. The last thing Amanda wanted was to be badgered by a well-intentioned but aggravating nurse. Her presence wasn't going to stabilize Amanda's vitals. "Can we just have a few minutes? We'll give you a shout if she needs something."

After she left, Fin turned back to Amanda. "It's your choice, Rollins. You wanna do this now?"

The youngest detective nodded, reaching for the tablet once more. "You know the drill," Fin advised, "swipe right to left, take your time."

In no time at all, Amanda had paused at the photo she recognized. Neither Fin nor Olivia had ever seen him before. She looked up, handing Fin his tablet back. "His name is Charles Patton. He was my Deputy Chief in Atlanta."

Olivia was at a loss for words, but Fin decided to fill the silence. "Can you tell us anything else?"

"I'm sorry, Fin. I'm sorry, Liv, I'm just…so tired, and my mouth is dry…again."

Olivia reached out a hand to smooth over Amanda's hair, still trying to grapple with the knowledge that Amanda's rapist was her old superior officer. It would be like if Captain Cragen-now was not the time for these speculations, Olivia reminded herself. "It's okay, sweetheart. You made the ID. Let's rest for now. 'Manda, can I ask you a question?"

Amanda nodded, assuming she knew where Liv was going. "Yeah, I'll sign the consent for the rape kit."

"Good to know," Benson acknowledged, "but baby, we're not quite there yet. I want you to be a little more lucid first. You can say no, but how would you feel about me going down to the station for a bit? Only for a little while to update Alex and the others, and Fin will keep you company."

The younger woman's eyes widened, and she was surprised when the monitor didn't start beeping again. "Will you come back? Like in an hour or so?" She wanted Olivia to stay, of course, but she also knew that the brunette deserved space. Amanda also felt like she may be ready to give a statement to Fin before she felt comfortable sharing with Olivia. She probably would hold off, though, because Amanda would be telling her story for the next fifteen years, and if she could get away with telling it one less time, that would be worth the awkward silence that would surely develop between her and Fin, despite the bond between them that had developed quickly. Everyone around Amanda just wanted to make her feel better, and it made sense that it was hard for them that they couldn't, but the blonde also knew it wasn't her responsibility to fix that.

Olivia's head bobbed, and she brought her forehead to rest against Amanda's, being careful to avoid the cut and watching for any sign that she wanted her to back off, but she found none, the blonde smiling softly at the contact. She knew the next several months would leave her feeling touch-starved, and she felt the need to bask in every moment of contact. "Absolutely," Liv promised. "Give me one hour, and I'll be back by your side. Maybe then you'll be more comfortable talking."

Amanda reached around to hold Olivia's face against hers. "Liv, you can have more than an hour if you eat a sandwich or something. You have to take care of yourself."

Olivia sighed. Leave it to Amanda to be exclusively concerned with Liv's comfort in this situation. She was sort of hungry, she thought, but she was hungrier for justice. "We'll see," she concluded her thoughts. "If I'm going to be longer than an hour, I'll check in."

"Okay," Amanda sighed.

Olivia let the fingers of her right hand massage Amanda's scalp for a moment as Fin stepped to the side in order to afford the couple some privacy. "I love you," the brunette woman whispered to Amanda. "And I'm not going anywhere. Not ever."

Amanda nodded, trying her best to believe her girlfriend's words. "I love you too." After a few more seconds, Olivia released her gentle hold on Rollins, thanking Fin for his help before slowly exiting the area.

Fin sat down in chair next to Amanda as she tried to stretch, reaching for her water. His tone was matter of fact. "You know she just went to kill Patton."

"Nah," she drawled, taking a sip of water and lying her head back against a pillow, "somebody'll stop 'er."

When the older detective arrived at the precinct, she caught sight of Alex standing outside an interrogation room.

Olivia strutted into the viewing area outside of the interrogation room where Patton was being held, speaking to Alex in a quick stream of words, as if she weren't concerned at all for her reply, before attempting to open the door to the room. "Has he invoked? No? Great. I'm going to question him."

Alex, who had been lost in her own thoughts, sprung to life. "Olivia, you can't go in there. You know better."

Olivia was fuming, the drive to the station only making her angrier. "Just give me 10 seconds with him."

Alex frowned. "Now I know you're kidding, Detective."

The brunette took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, before gesturing with muted anger towards the one-way window. "She IDed him!"

The attorney, though madder than her own words could describe, tried in vain to not add fuel to the fire while focusing on the positive. "So we can arraign."

The detective sighed, covering her face with both of her hands. "I don't know, Alex."

Alex squinted her eyes in confusion. "What? Why?"

Olivia began to pace back and forth in the viewing area, her voice rising in fiery rage as she spoke. "Her only disclosure was in the form of a blink—you remember that, right? Because that thing paralyzed her and raped her, and she's just now regaining the ability to move and speak. Remember that, Alex? They're pumping God knows what drug into her, and some of the blood coursing through her veins doesn't even belong to her! I don't even know if she is capable of consenting to the kit."

Though her fists clenched in response to her friend's words, Alex willed herself to focus and remain objective. "Liv, we don't have a lot of time here."

Olivia scoffed, leaning against the one-way mirror. "Alex, she's not just another case! That's my future wife! I won't force her into an invasive forensic exam before she's entirely lucid."

The ADA nodded, knowing this was the ethical decision. "Well, it's getting late, so I'm happy to keep him in jail until Monday. But I'm going to need a statement by then. They keeping Amanda overnight?" In response to a quick nod on Olivia's part, she answered, "Alright, I'll stop by later or tomorrow if that's okay."

Benson nodded. Alex was a good friend, and her way of showing that was by prosecuting Patton to the best of her ability. Cabot stepped towards Olivia to ensure she processed the permission she was about to give. "You all can go ahead and get him processed."

Knowing she'd be stopped, Olivia still strode towards the door of the interrogation room. "My pleasure."

Alex grabbed Liv's arm, firmly enough to get her point across, but still careful enough not to hurt her. "Whoa, Olivia, c'mon. Let's get Amaro and a uni. I know you're angry. Believe me, I'm angry too. But I'd much rather pummel him in court, yes?"

The counselor made sure to establish eye contact with Olivia, wanting them to be on the same page.

"It'll last longer."

A/N: Okay, I'm sure some of you are confused. I will say that in the universe of this story, Patton did not rape Amanda in Atlanta. That's all I'll give away for now in the interest of clarity, but the next chapter will have the whole story. Would love to hear your thoughts and questions! Thanks for reading!

Gabby