Hey, guys. I know, I know, it's literally been like five months. But I'm here now, right? I'll try to be more consistent with uploads, but no promises. I get burnt out pretty easily, if you couldn't tell already.

Chapter 7—Accepting a Monster

Gray

We had already collected the money and returned to the guild hall when someone finally spoke. We had been completely silent after waking up and finding her gone. We were all thinking the same thing: this was a waste of time. Not only had we almost died trying to kill a monster twice as strong as us, but we almost killed the person we were trying to save in the process. And then, she didn't even take the money.

Why didn't she take the money? She never gave me the chance to explain that she could have joined the guild and earned it all back through real jobs where she didn't have to kill. I wanted nothing more than to have her wrapped in my arms again.

The way she fought the monster was unreal. She knew exactly what she was going to do and every step after that. It was like she had panned it all out hours before the actual fight. Even the part where she slipped under the griffin's body. It was like she knew it would happen and was willing to let it happen. She was willing to let herself die to save me. She looked genuinely surprised when Natsu saved her. My stomach churned as I remembered the way she looked at him in awe and admiration.

I had a cruel feeling that I would never see her again. It was an ugly feeling that surged in the pit of my stomach as I thought of how angry she was when she found out our reason for fighting the griffin. When she blew the sleeping dust in my face, I saw the remorse in her eyes just before I blacked out. She wasn't planning on coming back. Not if she had to.

What she said before she left was also ringing in my head. If you really want me back, I'll come back to you but after I do, you won't stand the sight of me. I knew what she meant by that but I couldn't bring myself to face the fact that she was right. Whoever this Albian was, he would only accept payment from assassinations. I don't know what I would do if I found out that she had killed people to come back to me.

I sat across from Natsu and Lucy who were looking down at the table, not daring to say a word to me in fear of what I would say. Juvia sat next to me but she kept her distance as well. They didn't know what was going through my head and honestly, I didn't feel like telling anyone any time soon. I closed my eyes as I felt a presence walk up to us.

"Where have you four been? You've been gone for a day, and I know for a fact that Gray, you woke up this morning so you don't have an excuse." I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. Erza's voice was serious and grim. She meant business. If she found out where we had been, she would report it directly to the master and then he would punish us.

"Does it matter?" I snapped. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. "What's it to you, Erza? You want to threaten me again? Go ahead. None of this matters anymore." I stood up abruptly as Natsu and Lucy stared at me in shock.

I turned on Erza whose eyes had fury flash in them at my tone. I stepped forward and roughly pushed Erza aside with my hand before walking past her. Before I could even take a step, Erza grabbed my wrist and flung me backwards, sending me to the floor. She drew she sword and pointed it at my chest.

"Watch your tone, Gray Fullbuster. You are still on probation for your previous conduct. Master has given me the right to suspend you, should you cause any more trouble. I would advise you to think clearly about your actions from here on out." I hissed as the tip of her sword pressed against my chest. I reached forward and shoved the sword aside, standing up to my full height.

"You want to know where I was? I was in Caldera fighting off an S-class monster. Do you want to know why? Because unlike you, I care about the well-being of my friends, especially those who don't have a damn choice as to whether they have to kill or be killed." I pressed the knife further away from me. "So go ahead, Erza, I beseech you. Suspend me, banish me, do your worst. If there's one thing I've loved about this is guild it's that friends stand up for their friends no matter the choices in their lives. People always get second chances here, or so I thought. If that's not what this guild is about then there is no point in me being here."

With that, I turned on my heel and began to walk for the exit. The rest of the guild members had been staring at our showdown. If Erza wanted to banish me, then let her. Right now, I didn't give a damn about anything except somehow getting Akira back. Now that I knew she was alive, I would do everything in my power to ensure that she lives happily.

I reached for the door and had barely touched it when it slammed open in my face. I stumbled backwards as a young girl burst through. My head spun but I barely made out a wave of pale blond hair with bright blue streaks through it. I planted my feet and outstretched my arm as she turned to face me, her eyes bulging and her legs on the verge of collapse. On instinct, I caught her toppling form before my brain had even processed who it was.

Akira's hands shook as her eyes whirled around frantically. Since the moment I had seen her alive, she had never looked this utterly mortified. Her body jerked uncontrollably as relief spread into her eyes. But only her eyes. The rest of her body was shutting down out of fear, she curled into a ball against my chest as people began to surround us.

"Akira? What happened? Are you okay?" I managed to spit out. The shock from seeing her barge in here unannounced was still fresh in my brain and I could barely form words. Her wild eyes searched around the space as Erza, Natsu and Lucy inched closer. Them and everyone else for that matter. I only then noticed that her hand was planted firmly on her chest so hard, it was like she was protecting something. She opened her mouth but no words came out. It was almost like something was constricting her throat and preventing her words.

"Oh my god…" Lucy whispered, covering her mouth. It only took me a split-second to see what she was looking at. I just then noticed how damp and sticky my arms were becoming. I looked down and almost choked as the sight of the thick red blood seeping through her fingers and onto my bear arms.

"Akira, what happened?" I said, my voice low, as I carefully placed her flat on the floor to prevent any more bleeding. I removed her hand from her wound and my stomach lurched at the deep gash the protruded from her stomach. Blood and puss seemed to be spurting through the wound at an alarming rate. Whatever this wound was, it was cut with no ordinary knife. I came to one conclusion. It was poison.

A soft wheeze escaped from her mouth as her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

"He swore…" she croaked before completely passing out in my arms. Emotion flowed through my body like a rapid fire. Confusion from seeing her burst in, terror from the fear in her eyes, horror from her wound, and an utmost anger towards whoever did this to her. Not to mention I was totally frantic about a passed out girl in my arms on the verge of death.

"Gray, bring her over here. I'll heal her, quick!" Wendy small voice entered my ears as I pulled myself out of my initial shock. Wendy was right. Akira needed all the attention she could get. I carefully lifted her off the ground.

I tried to carry her to the table where Wendy was waiting but I felt her slipping. I let out a grunt of fear when another pair of arms wrapped themselves around her across from me. I looked up at Natsu's dead serious face. He was staring at Akira with a passion I had never seen before. Together, we tenderly carried her over to the table. We placed her gently down as she suddenly began to have a coughing fit. Wendy's hands lit up and she began to use her healing magic.

Akira's coughing fit didn't stop there. Her body was now shaking in quick jerks all while she was unconscious. She was having a seizure. I tangled my hands in my hair and gripped my hair hard to keep myself from screaming. She continued to shake uncontrollably and soon I couldn't take it.

"She's dying, we have to do something!" I frantically reached out for her but before I could someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "Let go of me!" I protested. This only made their grip tighter. "You can't just keep me here, she'll die if I don't do something! Let me GO! I have to save her! LET ME GO!" Soon, there was more than just one person holding me back as Wendy continued to heal Akira.

And all the while, her seizure continued. Now, foam was oozing from her mouth and she began to gag. Wendy and Lucy together grabbed her body and turned her over to the side. I understood that they were doing this so she didn't choke on the foam. I put another burst of energy into my attempt to escape when I heard Natsu's thundering voice behind me.

"Gray! Stop, you have to let them heal her!" I wasn't sure why, but the fact that Natsu was calmer than me made me that much more angry. I growled and whirled around shoving him backwards. Him, Erza and Gajeel had all been trying to hold me back. But I was so done.

"You have NO RIGHT to tell me to be calm, you disgusting excuse for a dragon. If this were anybody else, you would be all about finding a cure, about saving them. But no, this is my friend and someone I care about so you don't care. Oh heaven forbid you try and save an assassin even though she saved your life!" Before I knew what was happening, I had shoved him so hard that he tumbled backwards and crashed into a table.

Erza's hand wrapped around my forearm and pulled me back harshly. I stumbled as she sat me down on a chair and drew her sword, pointing it at my neck.

"You need to cool off, Gray. I know you're worried, but that is no reason to treat your team members like this. Wendy and Lucy are both trying to help and the rest of us are just as worried if not more so because we not only care about her, regardless of what she's done, but we care about what will happen to you if something bad happens. So you need to relax and let Wendy, Mira and Lucy do everything they can. We are trying to save her, Gray." Her voice became more and more soothing as she went on. "We're not about to let her die."

I was barely following along as I saw Akira being carried away to one of the back rooms. She was no longer having a seizure but her breaths were now forced and sounded more like wheezes than breaths. I looked down and gripped my head in my hands as I felt the remorse bubble up in my pit of my stomach. I should never have underestimated my friends. I should have known that they had my best interests at heart regardless of our fights. Now I had to apologize to the flame brain.

I stood up and faced the rest of my guild, the anger dissipating away as if it were never there. My eyes locked onto Natsu's eyes, who was scowling angrily at me. He had his hands crossed and was leaning against the very table I had shoved him against. Stubbornness and pride fought against me as I turned to face him. If I didn't do this, I couldn't call myself a member of Fairy Tail. We had to show respect to all our comrades, no matter how brain-dead they were.

"I'm sorry for shoving you. And I didn't mean what I said." I spat out bitterly, proud that I had even managed to say anything at all. Natsu closed his eyes and sighed. I looked at anything but his face, feeling the heat of embarrassment on my face. Finally he looked up, and with a grin he said:

"If you wanted a fight, Gray, you only had to ask. I'm willing to throw down with you anytime." He pushed off the table and walked closer to me. I felt a smirk rise to my cheeks. I lifted him arm and he pounded it with his.

"You got it." I said gruffly. He grinned and walked past me carrying his cat. Satisfied, I turned towards the back of the guild. I took a deep breath before heading over.

I needed to see her. I needed to know that they were doing everything possible to help her. I felt Erza following me closely. I knew that Erza would never trust Akira, no matter what she did. I could live with that as long as she never tried to get rid of her. Erza was loyal, almost too loyal, to the guild and she would do everything in her power to make it the best it could be. An assassin among its ranks was not something she considered good for the guild.

I reached the back of the guild and peered through the crack in the door. Wendy's hands were still glowing and the little girl's eyes were so focused and grave that it made my heart flutter. She was sweating and panting in a way that made it obvious how hard it was to keep up her magic for so long. Mira and Lucy were both surrounding Akira's body with wet rags and cold water bottles, keeping her from heating up.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw her unconscious face on the edge of the table. I had to keep myself from breaking out into sobs from the fear of losing her again. I had to remind myself that even if she did go, it would be no different than when Deliora killed her the first time. Except this time, I would relapse into a revenge that I couldn't control. I would want Albian dead the same way I wanted Deliora dead. But I would want to be the one to kill him.

And then… and then I would end up killing someone I cared about to even get the job done the same way Ul died for me.

"Hey kids! Guess who's back from his meeting!" I turned my head to see Master Makarov's short body enter the door in high spirits. His expression changed as he saw the solemn looks on his guild's faces. He turned to where Erza and I were standing and narrowed his eyes.

"Would anyone care to tell me what's going on?" he asked quietly, his eyes piercing into my own. Erza walked over to him and began to talk to him in hushed whispers. His face remained grave and sullen as he glanced at me from time to time.

I squeezed my eyes shut and looked away, trying to get away from his scrutiny. I turned back to look through the door, seeing that Akira's wound was being wrapped by Mira and Lucy's tender fingers. She would survive and thrive after this. She had to. I couldn't live with myself if she didn't.

Akira

Everything was going according to plan. Like I had predicted, the guild took me in willingly once they saw that I was in danger of dying. Maybe the seizure was a little over the top, but I had to make it look like I really was dying. The little girl, Wendy kept using her healing magic on me but little did she know, that it didn't work. I was completely fine. I used the weak damsel in distress card before to get in a kill and this time was no different.

Only this time, I could feel my conscience crushing inside me up to the point of physical illness. I wanted nothing more than to throw up and crawl back into a hole, away from this place. I knew that as soon as I carried out the full extent of my plan, Gray would never forgive me. There was no return from this, even if the other option was his life. Maybe he would hate me. Maybe this whole guild would hate me. Maybe they would hunt me down and kill me mercilessly like I was about to do to them. I wouldn't blame them.

But it was better for them to despise me with every inch of their being than for them all to be lying dead in front of me. I would take hatred over guilt any day.

The next step of my plan consisted of me becoming a part of the guild. I had already formulated a story in my head. It was one that not even the master could turn down. Albian taught me well when he taught me to trick people. I was an expert at hiding emotion and creating emotion while keeping everything real in the pit of my stomach where no one would find it. If I had to resort to fake begging, I would. I wasn't going to risk Gray's life for one small set-back like this.

To get into the guild, I needed to get the guild members to trust me. Gray already trusted me too much for his own good. I would need to use him as an anchor to get the others to trust me as well. Natsu and Lucy would be easy because they trusted Gray. They were easy to trust and all I had to do to get them to trust me was to be a little nice to them. The only person I knew I was going to have trouble with aside from the master himself was Erza. We had already gotten off on the wrong foot. There was no way she was going to fully trust me unless I proved it to her physically.

While I pondered my next move, I heard the door to the room open and two people walked in. I immediately recognized Erza's strong, authoritative voice and Makarov's serious tone. I felt guilt tug at my heart stings as they began to argue about what to do with me.

"Master, she can't stay here. Only God knows what she's capable of and for all we know this could be a trap. We know next to nothing about her except for the fact that she is a cold-blooded killer." Erza said angrily.

"I know you think so but we can't just kick her to the curb. From what everyone described, this girl really was on the verge of death. And you know that she would never have come back here unless she absolutely had to." The master stated gravely.

"But master, you saw how she took down those two wizards. I sensed their magic power. They were no slouches. And Gray and Natsu told me that she saved them from an S-Class monster. With this much power, I don't think she should be anywhere near the rest of the guild. I'm scared, master. I'm scared that she'll pull the guild under a spell and then stab us in the back."

"I agree with you. I know that her power is immeasurable. But I still think that we haven't heard the whole story about why she came back here. Besides, you know as well as I do that if we kick her out of the guild, we won't just lose Gray's trust, but we may lose him altogether."

A pang of guilt tugged at my chest as I imagined Gray's furious eyes as he storms out of the guild after me. As much as I hated to admit it, he was my ticket into the guild. I needed to hold onto his trust like an anchor or I would fall away and watch as he and everyone he loves die in front of my face.

"She can't join the guild, master." Erza said sternly.

"No, she can't," Makarov agreed. "But we can show her enough hospitality to where she leaves on her two feet and not crawling away on all fours."

Feeling that if I didn't do something quick they would leave and I would lose my chance to show them exactly how 'injured' I really was, I let out a jerked sputter. I heard the two freeze and turn to me as I began to cough, jerking my body up and down. I released my body into a coughing fit, rolling over on my side and vomiting. I slowly peeled my eyes open, pulling up a pale face and dark bags under my eyes. Taking a deep, choked breath, I lifted my head and pushed myself up to a seated position to face the two in front of the bed.

Erza's hand was planted on her sword and the Master stood his full height, which wasn't very high, to face me. I blinked a couple of times, feeling guilt pull on my heart again. I tried to speak but only a gurgle rose through my throat, sending me into another coughing frenzy. Erza's eyes softened but her stance never changed as I lurched over to vomit again. I panted harshly, leaned my head back, closing my eyes slightly.

"Sorry about the puke." I croaked, giving my voice an extra tone of illness. The master walked around the bed to look me in the eye. He looked dead serious and stern like no other. I took a deep breath as he crossed his arms.

"It's time you started talking." The master said bluntly. I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, the door opened and Mirajane and Lucy stepped inside. They gasped to see I was awake as I saw the rest of the guild, looking over with interest. I braced myself as I shout was heard over everyone and everything.

"Akira!" My eyes watered as Gray blundered through the door, shoving Mira and Lucy to the side. Erza reached out to stop him but he ignored her like she wasn't even there. He wasn't wearing a shirt again and his eyes were bloodshot.

My throat constricted as I thought that I had done this to him. I had made him so worried that his own health was on the line. Before I could say anything, he reached around me and pulled me into a long embrace. I breathed in, taking in his smell, his smooth chest, his aura, everything about him calmed me at that moment and confidence built in my chest again. This was what I was doing this for. I was doing this to keep this amazing human alive.

"Thank the stars…" he whispered, his voice shaking. I only then realized that he was crying. From the jerks in his shoulders and the way his breath was uneven, I realized that he was quietly sobbing in my shoulder. Before I could stop myself, tears welled up in my eyes and slipped out. I felt my arms reach around him on their own accord and respond to his embrace. I stared to hug him tighter and cry against him. I was crying. I was crying. My fingers curled to fists around him as I sense more pairs of eyes stare at our little moment.

My hands trembled as I forced myself to stop. I forced my tear ducts to seal and pulled my arms away from his toned back. He squeezed tighter, if that was even possible, and I gasped as I felt his lips touch the back of my neck. I placed my hands flat on his chest and tried to push him away. I felt his lips leave my skin and for some reason, my whole body chilled as he pulled away.

But instead of pulling away completely, he gripped my shoulders and placed my lips on my cheekbone. My eyes widened and I felt warmth spread from my cheeks and through my whole body. My hands clenched and I only then realized that they were still on his chest and I had scratched him. There were red marks on his chest from where I had dragged my nails down. I flushed bright red and pulled my face away from his lips, a gust of cold air cascading over my body when his lips left my face.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" I said, my voice tremulous. Gray's hand found mine and squeezed it. I forced my hand to go limp as I looked in front of me to see Mira, Lucy, Natsu, Gajeel, Levy, Erza, the Master and Wendy all staring at me.

"I have a lot of explaining to do, I know. I'm so sorry to have put you through whatever poison the dagger was laced with… I just… I just had nowhere else to go." Gray's hand twitched and I turned to see Natsu crossing his arms, a smirk on his face.

"Anyone in need is welcome here. Besides, you're Gray's friend and you saved our lives. We owe you one." He said, shooting me a grin. My cheeks warmed as I looked at Gray's relieved and determined smile. The guilt I felt was now threatening to swallow me whole.