~Ivystorm~
You crack me up Ivystorm XD My update schedule is super wonky, usually I just pull bits and pieces of random scenes I've written and upload them at random times Xd I do try and update once a week although it doesn't really happen very often XD
(Chapter 158)
Is it bad that I forget what the chapters I upload are about half the time? XD I'm glad you liked this part, I originally intended for it to actually be a comedy piece, buut that didn't turn out how I planned XD Btw, I type Cinderheart and Lionblaze half the time too XD
(Chapter 154)
I do like Imagine Dragons! :D And yes, yes I do like the song Believer ^_^ What's your favorite song? :P
(Chapter 20)
Ah fooie! I don't like my readers crying! (Although at the same time I'm happy about it cause it means the story's realistic enough to pull that kind of emotional response XD)
(Chapter 21)
Briarfeather is the best shipping besides Cinderblaze and maaaaybe Leaffeather at this point Xd And I actually have a Briarfeather dedicated series, it's called "Briarfeather and Cinderblaze," ^-^
(Chapter 22)
Noooo! Don't hate Halfmoon! XD
(Chapter 26)
Really? Yes! Lay it on me! :D
(Chapter 147)
Everyone can sing! They may not be able to hold a tune, but everyone has the capability to sing :P
(Chapter 113)
Uhhh, September or October? I have no idea what the day could be, I'm terrible at guessing birthdays XD
(Chapter 73)
I'm glad you liked it, I intended it to be fluffy :D
(Chapter 8)
Oh okay! That makes sense XD
~Skyfern~
I do? I know her last name is different, cause that's intentional with Leah being previously married :P
Jaylight? I like that one too! Although I personally prefer the ship name Briarfeather, personal opinion XD
~Snowcrystal of Thunderclan~
Ah, I love the dynamic too, hence why I'm writing more chapters XD
Well Cynthia and Leon rarely argue, so while it's weird to write, it makes them seem less perfect and their relationship be viewed as just a little imperfect :P Plus I need the practice for a future chapter XD
I Lie To Protect Him From the Violence
"Is this really necessary Jay?" Cynthia sighed as she followed the man that was practically her brother, completely skipping the formalities.
"Yes," Jay told her in a terse manner as they walked, walking at a slower pace for Cynthia's limping benefit but at a brisk enough pace to show he meant business.
"Right now?" Cynthia sighed, still holding the gauze she was given against the cut beneath her left eye, the gauze's snowy fabric stained with splotches of deep red. "I need to sleep Jay, and get this cut fixed so Leon doesn't try to dissuade me into leaving the squadron again."
"If we don't do this now I know you'll forget about it and get irritated when you're not cleared for field work." Jay replied in his usual clipped tone, "it won't take long."
Cynthia sighed again, for the third time since she had returned to base and recovered from the bomb's shockwave enough to see straight and not wobble as she walked.
A nose softly pushed lightly against her left calf, her canine companion and other half of her duo alerted her of her re-entry at her side after a physical examination.
Lucky butt, Cynthia mumbled to herself, I have to be physically examined for injuries and then deal with Jay poking at my mind and emotions with a hot fork. Despite her irritation however she dutifully followed behind Jay a few footsteps behind him, not wanting Leon to worry about her at the news of her being taken off of field duty from Jay. She exhaled a long breath as they reached the smaller backroom, Jay's office where she would be given a lie detecting bracelet and visor that would detect any physical tells lies. Even from someone with as much training in lying and deception as she did. The sensors were too sensitive for even her to fool if Jay asked any personal questions.
"Sit down," Jay told her, the directions redundant as she habitually headed toward the chair opposite of his that would sense her shifting her weight and position. "Put on the visor and wristband while I boot up the software."
Cynthia did as she was told, her vision adopting an orange hue from the visor's lenses as she put them on.
For a few moments it was completely silent, Cynthia's dog sitting silently beside her handler's chair, and the two humans silently waiting for the test to begin.
"Question one, did the bomb blast give you a concussion, temporary hearing loss, and or generalized disorientation?"
"Yes," Cynthia replied simply, "along with temporary lapse of unconsciousness."
"Correct," a holographic hoverboard appeared at his hands and Jay typed her response and the results into it. "Were you captured by enemy forces and briefly held as a prisoner for sixteen-hours?"
"Yes."
"Do you feel shaken or mentally unsound after the explosion and following events?"
"No, this is part of my life."
"Beyond your physical injuries do you feel normal?"
"Yes."
"Emotionally would this count as trauma to you?"
"No." The moment her emotions were brought up Cynthia shut down, responding with only one word, her expression blanking flat.
"Would having someone else on scene and possibly injured make this traumatic?"
"Yes," Cynthia replied curtly, her weight shifting uncomfortably slightly to one side as her pulse increased a little.
"Anyone in particular?" Jay didn't bother looking away from his screen, the results that were showing up were proof enough that he didn't have to look at her.
"Yes," Cynthia instinctively shut her eyes, shoving off the flashes of memories briefly assaulting her mind.
"Hang on Cynthia! Come on, breathe!"
Silence as Cynthia's hearing faded in and out, her body wracked with pain levels that shouldn't be physically possible. Did they really hit her that hard? Her head felt like it was splitting open...
"Damnit I can't lose you like this! You better start breathing in the next five seconds or so help me Cynthia I will make you run a hundred drills tomorrow!" His voice was shaking though, shaking with fear while Cynthia's hearing barely caught his words. "Please…" His voice broke, "don't die on me… you know I didn't mean what I said before, I had to…"
"Are you still in love with my brother?" Jay's voice pulled Cynthia back to reality, but his words caused her memories to press more firmly against her mental barriers.
"I have to, Cynthia I can't keep fighting like this."
"What? But you promised-"
"I know what I promised, but Cynthia I can't take it after all of that. I can't have it happen again."
"You already transferred me to a separate squad to avoid that!" Cynthia's voice rose in volume and pitch, confusion and hurt reigning in her voice. "I've done everything I can to make this work Leon! I've switched to train as a canine handler, agreed to transfer squads to prevent us from actually working together, and have told you over and over again how I feel! What else do you want from me?!"
"I don't want anything else from you Cynthia," his voice was quiet, miserable really. "I want something else in my life besides fighting, I want to build something, to repair something." Cynthia felt the warm palms of his hands against both sides of her face, "I'm twenty now Cynthia, we've been fighting and training since we were sixteen, younger than most officers, and I'm tired of the violence."
"But…" Cynthia tried to speak, struggling to open her mouth and say what she wanted. "Leon… I don't…"
"It's not you," he tried to reassure her, but it only drove the knife deeper into her already breaking heart. "It was never about you Cynthia."
"But… why are… I don't understand…" Cynthia spoke in broken phrases, words strung together that didn't make sense. Until after a few moments and feeling increasingly numb and light headed she managed to utter a proper sentence. "Then why're you leaving me?"
"I'm not leaving you, I'm leaving the war," he explained in a gentle tone, "I'd never leave you."
Cynthia wanted to say something, wanted to plead with him to stay here, stay here with her when that's all she fought for, but she couldn't. He wanted to leave and she would let him. Just like she always did. "Okay," She carefully swallowed the lump in her throat and gently stepped back and away from his hands, leaving him alone as she headed toward the entrance of the commander's quarters she had stormed into only a few minutes earlier, having been full of anger and hurt. While now she didn't know exactly how she felt other than confused and that the rest of her emotions were a jumbled mess. Once she reached the door she looked back at him with a smile, trying to hide exactly what mess she was really feeling. "Call me when you get to Vandala okay? I've still got a house down there from my dad that I don't use. It's paid off and everything so you can have it, it'll help you get up on your feet."
He smiled, the same smile that was one of the only ways that he told he loved her like she did himself. "Thank you Cynthia, you're the best."
"Cynthia… reign in your mind, focus."
Jay's words yanked Cynthia from her memories with a sharp blink and shaky inhale of air. "Sorry," she hastened to apologize, "zoned out."
Jay didn't say anything for a long moment, allowing her time to collect herself before repeating the question. "Are you still in love with my brother? Testing for an emotional response here."
Cynthia said nothing for a little while, her mind flicking back and forth through some of the precious memories she held close to her heart. From playfully teasing, the game-like flirting back and forth for a year and a half, to accidentally confessing to him and the little game they seemed to play with a while. She could still remember the scent that was uniquely his that still lingered in the back of her nose; the way his fingers used to play with her hair and brushed lightly over almost every bruise, cut, or injury she gained in the field; what it was like to feel his breath against her skin; and how much brutal pain her was in at the time, like she had been stabbed. Sure she had built up walls, protecting herself from everyone. However, the one person she couldn't build up a wall against him, and he was the only one with the tools to hurt her.
"Yes." Cynthia eventually said, swallowing hard and removing the visor from her face before undoing the wrist band around her wrist. Blinking back the small amount of tears in her eyes under the mask of adjusting her vision. "I think that's enough, I need some sleep and medication for my face."
Jay nodded and kept looking at his screen as she pushed her chair back with the sound of rolling wheels before heading toward the door.
"He loves you too," he said eventually, just before she turned the doorknob to leave. "He just isn't ready to say it yet."
"I know," Cynthia replied quietly as she slipped out the door with her dog on her heels, "and I'll keep waiting till he's ready to say it."
"You look healthy," Leon's lopsided smile made Cynthia both want to cry and smile back, so she did the latter. "Especially for disappearing on me for a day, missy."
Cynthia offered him a tired but happy smile, the heavy walls around her heart instantly melting at just his smile. A special smile she had seen on his face a million times and yet hoped was only for her. "Yeah, I'm pretty much unscathed, a little limp yeah, but that's all."
"That's fantastic! I'm glad you're okay," Leon smiled again and Cynthia felt a little bit of guilt for hiding the bruised ribs from the blast, a dislocated shoulder, various cuts and bruises, and uncomfortable burns on her back between her shoulder blades from him. But she didn't want him to worry or ask her to leave the war again. Not when she was need so much here and when she was fighting for his freedom, his freedom to have the repair shop he's worked so hard to create and build a reputation for.
"Same here," Cynthia smiled, unable to help the longing visible in her expression as her blue eyes drank in his appearance. Healthy, safe, and most of all happy. He was happy there in Vandala, and she couldn't take that away from him. No matter how badly she wanted to be in the same room with him again and laugh and giggle as he smothered her with affection and little signs that he was just as in love with her as she was with him. "It was a pretty boring day though yesterday besides the excursion. With Jay poking my mind with a tuning fork as per usual, Bree putting me through a series of technological tests with her new canine tech, and Holly bossing me around." She leaned back in her chair, masking the uncomfortable feeling from the burns on her back from her face. "What about you though? What've you and Fin been up to?"
Leon grinned, the scar at the edge of his lip stretching with the movement. "We've been working on the shop mainly, but Fin's found a girl. Which is hilarious watching him try to impress her, and I don't want a relationship," another twist of the knife permanently in Cynthia's heart, "so I've been helping him out a little and working with your dad on city square. We're putting the finishing touches to that garden in honor of Lila this week…" he trailed off and by his pensive expression Cynthia knew what he was going to ask before he said anything.
Cynthia offered a gentle smile, "we'll see Leon. I'm scheduled for field work for the next week and a half. Technically that was true, she was scheduled, but had been secretly restrained to light work while her body recovered from the bomb and prisoner fiasco. She would be fully healed within a week and a half thanks to the chemicals solution running through her blood that she and Bree had designed back when Leon was a commander.
The solution increased her healing speed by tenfold, allowing her an easier time hiding her injuries from Leon, especially back when they were still playing that ridiculous game that made them seem like a couple to other people but they actually weren't. She had always hated hiding her injuries from him. But at the time it had been the only way to allow her to properly kiss and goof off with him without wanting to curl in a ball with a groan or scrambling up to puke as it got to be too much for her to handle.
She still used it, took the measure amount of the medical solution every morning after sustaining a viable injury. It helped hide any injuries from him when she video called him every day unless she was overnight in the field. Then she'd just call him once she was camped out for the night and leave a small voice message and he wouldn't pick up cause he was sleep.
Leon looked disappointed, "okay," he said glumly and Cynthia bit her lip, fighting with herself before caving in after a moment.
"I'll see what I can do to get down there next Monday okay?" Cynthia said quietly, trying to make the painfully adorable sulking expression on his face go away. "I've got some vacation days I can use." Now that was an understatement, Cynthia could take an entire month and a half off and still have more vacation days by now. She rarely took a vacation day, choosing to instead work her butt off to keep her lover's freedom firmly in place.
Leon's face instantly brightened, "awesome! I can't wait!"
Someone called Leon's name from outside of Cynthia's view of his shop, and Leon pulled a sour face before looking back at Cynthia.
"Fin's calling me, we've got a bus-jet about to dock for some emergency repairs, can I call you later today?" Leon asked, his expression rather hopeful.
Cynthia swallowed the painful lump growing once again in her throat and nodded slowly, "yeah, shoot me a message when you want to talk, I'm not going anywhere tonight anyway."
Leon grinned at her, "alright cool! Love ya Cynthia, later!" Then yelled at someone out of the screen as the call ended. "Shut up Fin! I'm coming!"
Cynthia swiped her holographic screen down with a wistful smile as the call ended and hauled herself to her feet. Lightly tapping her fingers against the side of her left thigh to command Mia to follow. "Come on girl, now we've got that squadron meeting in the form of a bunch." Grabbing the light blue and dark canine handler jacket from her bed as she walked, Cynthia headed toward the entrance of her quarters. Dressed in casual clothes, dark washed jeans, light gray tank-top, and white sneakers while now shrugging on the jacket, she was as ready to deal with the rest of her squad as she could ever be.
Btw, everyone thank Ivystorm for the update, I wasn't intending to update till I finished a separate chapter, but Ivystorm's review encouraged me to do it ^-^ So thank you Ivystorm, and I'll talk to you all next time!
~Tigercry