In the First Degree

by elphiemolizbethbau

In the immediate aftermath of being drugged and assaulted, Amanda must come to terms with what it is to be the victim of a sex crime. Supported by Olivia and the SVU team, she gets a look at the criminal justice system from the other side of the lens, and learns what it truly means to be a survivor. Established Rolivia. TRIGGER WARNING/discussion of rape. Details inside!

8. Trial Part 2

In the First Degree

Trial Part 2

A/N: Thank you so much for your comments and follows! I really appreciate all of you! Please feel free to drop a comment and let me know what you like about this story or any other thoughts you may have. If you would like to connect via social media, my Instagram/twitter is faceinbud.

I'm realizing that there are a whole bunch of typos in this story (ex. allocate instead of allocute—pretty sure it autocorrected). I hope those aren't too distracting for you guys! I think there are likely a few in this chapter that I will discover as I read through it again. Sorry about that!

Without further ado, here is Trial Part 2. Extra trigger warning for Amanda's testimony and the use of one homophobic slur.

I need to add both a disclaimer that I do not own SVU or its characters and a TRIGGER WARNING to anyone who is especially sensitive to the subject of sexual assault. ANGST TO COME!

"The prosecution calls Detective Amanda Rollins."

Amanda had been in that room before, the one in which she'd asked dozens of victims to wait in the moments prior to their trial testimony. The detective had seen those plain white walls, sat on the plain wooden bench, waited for the door to be opened, being told it was time.

She'd been in the witness room before, but not like this.

The color was dilute, sharp lines were blurry, and the tap, tap, tap of her shoe against the tile floor was maddening. Still, somehow, she couldn't force herself to stop. The sound was her only companion in the otherwise deafening silence of solitude. She was alone in this room, as she'd been before.

But not like this.

Amanda craved Olivia's presence like she craved air to breathe, like she craved a light in the darkness, like she craved hope. In that moment, if someone—anyone—would have proposed a deal of Patton's freedom in exchange for the chance to go home right that instant and curl up in Liv's arms, she would have agreed in a second. In a second.

But no such offer was made. Because before Amanda could bring herself to just get up and leave, she was told the court was ready for her. When had she done this last? Who had she testified on behalf of the last time she was led out of this room and onto the witness stand? Was it a man? A woman? A child? Had the perp been convicted? Had her testimony meant anything at all? The blonde couldn't remember, and she found herself thinking about being at the beach. Yes, the sound currently reverberating inside her head was akin to what she heard on the beach as she held a seashell to her ear. She wished, at the very least, this was a pleasant memory. But she didn't have very many good memories of her childhood, the peaceful day on the beach being ruined by a fight between her parents. She remembered distracting Kim from the shouting by assisting her in building a sandcastle, something that had angered her father when he found out the two girls were playing close to the ocean. But there was nowhere else to go that was out of earshot of the fight. She always got in trouble when she tried to help Kim.

Amanda found herself being sworn in, being asked to place her hand on the Bible in front of her. This was how testifying in court always happened, but it felt so different. Was it cold in the courtroom?

"Please state your name for the record."

Alex's voice. This probably would have been a good time for Amanda to reenter her body, but she didn't want to. In the few minutes before Jim Rollins noticed the girls were gone, Kim had been happy, her laughter filling the salty air as the children took turns listening to the ocean through a seashell. For those precious moments, the girl had been able to take her little sister away from a lifetime full of violence, and she had felt hope. Amanda's first child victim. If only she'd been able to protect Kim for longer.

"Detective Rollins." The ADA's voice was low, measured, and Amanda didn't want to ruin her case like this, but she couldn't open her mouth, the idea of hearing her own voice becoming like nails on a chalkboard, and she struggled not to cringe obviously. Patton was watching her. She knew it, and so she kept her eyes locked on her own hands, which were fidgeting aimlessly in front of her.

Alex addressing her in court was nearly as menacing as Daddy had been as he came bounding over the sandy hill to find them, his breath smelling of the beer he'd been imbibing. "Mandy Jo, what do you think you're doin'?"

"Detective Rollins."

Suddenly, the air around her became crisp and her vision cleared, the salty sea and crashing waves giving way to the sterile environment of a trial courtroom. She was no longer on the beach, and she was no longer alone. "Sorry." Her head snapped upwards and her eyes met Olivia's. The brunette had placed herself directly in front of Amanda; all she had to do in order to see her was look up. Her girlfriend gave her a small nod and a soft smile, a gentle reminder of the words she'd spoken only minutes before.

"I believe in you."

"Detective 3rd Grade Amanda Rollins."

Alex was clearly relieved to hear the detective croak, but Amanda knew she was worried about where the testimony would go from here if she could barely begin to speak. The younger woman attempted to give her a reassuring smile, something that Alex would translate as meaning that she was back, and she was ready to do her part. "Detective Rollins, how did you come to know the defendant?"

And so it began. This wasn't the first time the detective had told this story, and she knew it likely wouldn't be the last, but she hoped she'd never again have to do it in such a public way.

Don't look at Patton. Just don't look at him.

Talking about her time with APD's Special Victims Unit wasn't as difficult as she'd predicted, something she was grateful for. It went by pretty quickly, and Amanda could tell the ADA wanted to spend most of their time discussing what had happened in New York.

"So, when did you hear from him next?" Alex leaned against the railing separating the jury from the rest of the courtroom.

"On the day of the incident, I received a text from him while I was climbing the steps to this building. I was supposed to be testifying in another case."

Mallory. Only a child, and she'd been deprived of her day in court because of Patton. Another victim, casted aside and forgotten by the system. Both blonde women needed to get the teenager out of their minds for the time being. "What did the text say?"

"He said he was in New York, that he was watching me, and he wasn't leaving until I gave him what I owed him."

"And what did you infer he meant by that?"

Amanda watched as the attorney walked slowly towards her, being sure to maintain appropriate distance, wanting each member of the jury to have a good view of the witness. Alex stepped further to the left than she generally would, but she didn't want to block Olivia's view of her girlfriend. The prosecutor wasn't stupid; she was highly aware that at some points during this examination, the brunette would be Amanda's only tether to reality. "I knew he was talkin' about sex. He'd been mad when he left the hotel in Atlanta. It made sense that he was still angry about me sayin' no."

"Did the text say anything else?"

"Yes." Amanda nodded, and as her thoughts wandered to her girlfriend, so did her eyes. She wished she could get off the witness stand and go be with Olivia, she wished she could just sit in the gallery and watch. That's what Patton was doing, sitting calmly next to Buchanan with no other responsibilities. Why did it feel like Amanda herself was on trial? "Patton said that I had two choices. I could meet him at an abandoned warehouse, which he provided the address to, or he would find Olivia, my girlfriend, and he would force…." The woman took a deep breath. "He said he would force her to—"

"Take your time, Detective." Alex's voice brought her back to the present moment. She had people on her side. She wasn't alone. All she had to do was keep talking.

"He said he would rape her, and he'd kill her after if he was feeling merciful. I didn't really feel like I had a choice. He told me I had to delete the texts, so I did, but first I saved the address in my email drafts. I turned off my phone and threw it away, hoping the squad would find it."

"What did you do next?"

"I hailed a taxi and gave the driver the address. It was a pretty quick drive. I entered the building, and I walked a pretty long way. I wasn't close to the entrance anymore. All of a sudden, I felt a sharp pain in the side of my head." Amanda reached up with her right hand, subconsciously rubbing the area as she'd done dozens of times before. "When I fell to the ground, I saw blood. I was disoriented, but I knew Patton was there. I smelled his cologne. He climbed on top of me immediately, and he restrained me while he plunged a needle into my neck. He said, 'this time, I'm not takin' no for answer.'"

"Now, we've heard testimony that the drug you were given was a paralytic, one that can significantly affect someone's ability to breathe. How do you explain that not being a problem for you?"

"I did feel short of breath," Amanda admitted, "but the dose I was given was so low that involuntary muscle movement remained mostly intact. I was just really weak."

"And who told you that?"

"Dr. Wilde."

Alex nodded. "Dr. Wilde, who we heard testimony from yesterday. So, you'd been hit with a rock, drugged, and paralyzed. What happened next?"

"It took a few minutes for the drug to take effect, but because of the rock, I was really disoriented, and I couldn't get up. Once I couldn't move, he opened my eyes. He blinked them for me every few minutes so that they wouldn't dry out. I guess he wanted me to see him. He stood at my feet, and he touched himself. When he finished, he took off my clothes. There was…evidence on them. I remember immediately being so cold."

Amanda crossed her arms, trying to rub warmth into the prickly flesh. The ADA looked at her during the pause, and she offered a small nod to encourage her to continue. "He wasn't becoming erect again, so he decided to use his mouth." A sharp inhale. "'You lesbians like this shit, don't you?' That's what he said."

Alex's brow furrowed as she took one step further towards her witness. "Then what happened?"

It was a good strategy, not giving Amanda—or the jury—a break during the testimony. Alex wanted the jury to become overwhelmed, wanted them to feel disconcerted, wanted them to struggle not to beg for a break from the onslaught of disturbing information, knowing they wouldn't get one. An effective rape testimony always made jurors squirm in their seats. It was a small dose of empathy that would never leave them. Alex hated doing it, but this was exactly the point. It was the only way.

"After he was done, he was getting hard again, so he climbed on top of me."

Amanda met watery brown eyes as they gazed through her. She shook her head in Olivia's direction, feeling again like an impossible task was being laid out before her. "I…" One more moment of meaningful eye contact with Olivia.

"It's okay." The smallest of soundless lip movements gave her permission to continue. Amanda quickly glanced at Judge Blake, and she thankfully had not noticed the off the record communication between the two detectives.

"I remember the way he spread my legs."

One second at a time.

One word at a time.

"I couldn't move, so obviously I wasn't fighting him, but every single touch was rough, forceful."

Once again, the ADA leaned her body against her own desk, allowing it to give her support. This was Amanda's story, and she wanted to let her tell it in the way that made the most sense for her, but the jury needed to hear the magic words. "Tell the jury what happened next, Detective."

Just three little words, Amanda told herself. All she needed to do was separate her consciousness from their meaning. Just say the words. "He raped me." The blonde took a cleansing breath, nodding her head as she chewed on her bottom lip. "Three times."

The attorney approached her witness once more. "What happened after that?" she asked slowly.

"He sat next to me, and he just watched. He let me bleed. I was freezing, in pain. He just watched." Amanda sniffed, wiping a tear. A part of her was grateful this part was almost over, but she knew Buchanan's cross was going to be brutal. He wouldn't look at her with sympathetic eyes the way Alex was. He wouldn't offer her encouraging smiles or give her time to process before responding. His job was to make her look as noncredible as possible. And Amanda was worried he would succeed.

"Did he say anything to you—while he watched?"

"He said one thing, right before he closed my eyes and left." Amanda wished she would have lied and said no. This was the thing she most dreaded saying aloud, the thing she least wanted Olivia to hear.

"And what was that, Detective?"

She clenched her eyelids shut, desperately willing the tears to refrain from falling. She didn't want to make eye contact with her girlfriend as she spoke, but Alex's meaningful stare was uncomfortable too. Speaking directly to the jury didn't feel appropriate either, and so Amanda shifted her gaze to the right, and for the first time in five months, her eyes met Patton's. Her breath caught in her throat at her old boss's sly smile, but she resisted the shudder that threatened to rip through her. Patton was behind the defense table, and in order to get to her, he'd have to go through the court officers, Alex, Olivia, Fin, Cragen, and—Munch? When did he get there?—Amanda knew, in the physical sense, she was safe.

But his eyes were deeply violating. The way he gave her a once over as she hesitated. The way he smiled at her anxious stutter. Amanda knew that if given the chance, Deputy Chief Patton would brutalize her all over again. Maybe this time he'd have enough sense to finish the job.

"Detective?" Alex's voice again, softer than before. Amanda saw her hand come to rest on the railing in front of her. Generally, attorneys were not supposed to approach the witness stand without express permission from the judge, but it didn't look like Blake was going to call Alex out for the shift in position. The hand entering her line of sight is what rescued Amanda from Patton's incessant stare. "What did he say to you?"

No way was Amanda ever going to forget those words. "I have to say," she recited her attacker's words, exaggerating the southern drawl, "I'm a bit jealous of your Olivia. You're a sweet screw, darlin'. Too bad that dyke'll never wanna touch your pretty little ass again."

Olivia saw herself standing up, going over to the defense, and bashing Patton's face in with her bare hands. Unfortunately, imagining it wasn't nearly as satisfying as actually doing it would be. Look at me, she thought in Amanda's direction, reminding herself to focus on her girlfriend and not the monster that had brought them there. Just look at me, baby. Let me tell you how much I love you. Just look at me.

Alex hadn't heard this part of the testimony before, but she understood why Amanda chose to save it until now. A pin drop could have been heard in the courtroom at that moment, only the sounds of breathing and awkward shuffling remained.

Amanda realized she hadn't looked at Olivia for some time. What if she was angry? What if she was disgusted? Panicking, the blonde looked up, and Alex stepped out of her way as she asked the next question. "Do you see the man who attacked you in the courtroom today?"

Before she could answer, as soon as Amanda made eye contact with her, Liv subtly lifted her right hand and rested it over her heart, giving her girlfriend a sad smile. "Yes." Amanda allowed herself to look once more at Patton, keeping Olivia on her mind and in her heart.

An intentional point was all Alex needed from her. "Let the record reflect that the witness has identified the defendant, Charles Patton." The ADA's hand came once more to rest on the witness stand, giving it a gentle pat. "Thank you, Amanda."

Buchanan immediately stood up and walked around the defense's desk, taking a few steps in Amanda's direction. "Detective Rollins, did you consent to sex with the defendant?"

He was getting straight to the point, but Amanda was still looking at Olivia. "No."

"How do we know you didn't? How can you prove that?" Buchanan knew cross was designed for closed-ended questions intended to clarify or contradict things said during direct examination, but he evidently wanted to fluster Amanda with a series of more complicated inquiries delivered in quick succession. This is what she expected.

"I was paralyzed. I couldn't speak or move." The detective regretted feeling bad for herself during Alex's direct examination. Now, she wished she could go back to it because this was so much worse.

Buchanan saw this response coming, so he decided to be more specific. "But how do we know that you didn't consent to sex prior to the injection of the drug?"

Alex was well-versed in the man's questioning tactics, and she was also aware that she needed to appear impartial and professional, but it took every ounce of willpower she had to resist gritting her teeth as she rose from her seat. "Objection. Asked and answered."

"Withdrawn." Buchanan noticed Amanda's attempt to keep her eyes locked with Olivia's, and the blonde watched in helpless horror as the defense attorney came to stand directly between the two women, effectively blocking Amanda's view of her girlfriend. "Detective Rollins, it is your testimony that you responded to a text from my client, agreeing to meet at an abandoned building for sex. How do you expect us to believe, with no proof, that you changed your mind?"

"Objection. Argumentative."

"Withdrawn." Buchanan took a few steps towards the witness. "Can you prove that you changed your mind after the texts were sent?"

Amanda swallowed hard, trying feebly to ground herself to the present moment by roughly pinching the bridge of her nose. She leaned all the way to her left, hoping she could catch a glimpse, hoping Olivia was still there. "I didn't change my mind. I never consented. I agreed under duress." Just because she couldn't see her didn't mean—

The volume of the defense attorney's voice rose as he spoke. "That's not evidence, Detective. How can you prove this encounter was not consensual in nature?"

Amanda exhaled audibly, exasperated, longing to see Liv's chocolate pools of compassion. But her only choice as far as who to look at was Buchanan. "It just wasn't."

"Not good enough," he boomed. "Are you sure you didn't decide after the fact that your consensual affair with the Deputy Chief would cause trouble with your domestic partner, another SVU detective? Are you sure that, upon realizing what you had done, you didn't become angry and resentful, causing you to accuse my client of assault? Are you sure you're not perjuring yourself today to save your relationship?"

"Objection—Are you kidding?" Alex promptly jumped from her chair, scoffing in disbelief. "Compound questions, combative, and badgering. Mr. Buchanan is way out of line, your honor."

"Withdrawn." Buchanan held up his hands in mock surrender. "No further questions for this witness. Thank you for your candor, Detective Rollins."

As soon as Buchanan had returned to his seat, Amanda, who's heart was beating out of her chest, made eye contact with Alex. Please be done, please be done, please be done. The ADA shot the detective an apologetic glance, hoping she'd understand in a moment why she wanted to ask her a few more questions. "Redirect, your honor?"

Judge Blake nodded. "Go ahead, Ms. Cabot."

Alex paced the courtroom for a moment, coming intentionally to stand in Patton's line of sight, so that the defendant could no longer watch the cop testify. Two could play at this game. The prosecutor knew that this was her only chance to make it up to Amanda, to apologize for what had been done to her, for what she'd just heard about in nauseating detail. "Detective Rollins, defense counsel has proposed the idea that that whether you consented to sex with the defendant is unclear and unprovable. Do you mind if we talk about the nature of consent for a moment?"

As she took a long breath, Amanda was confused, but she bobbed her head up and down anyway. She had no reason to not trust the Assistant District Attorney. "No, that's fine."

Alex raised an eyebrow at her witness's uncertain tone, turning for a moment to look directly at the jury. "You're okay with talking about consent? Are you sure?"

Amanda nodded again, making eye contact with the attorney as she realized what Alex was doing. "Yes, I'm sure."

A satisfied smirk played on Olivia's lips as she watched the back-and-forth. The two blondes certainly hadn't planned this, but it couldn't have been more perfect if they did. The older detective made a note to buy Alex an edible arrangement or something.

"Great. Thank you, Detective. Would you say that this interaction between us has been an accurate depiction of what consent looks like?"

Buchanan had been waiting to strike. "Objection. This is speculation. Detective Rollins is not serving as an expert witness in these proceedings."

"Withdrawn." Alex took a few small steps in Amanda's direction, sufficiently certain that the cop was now aware of what she was trying to accomplish. "Have you ever consented to sex while under or directly before being put under the influence of an incapacitating substance, such as pancuronium bromide?"

Amanda shook her head. "Never."

"Detective Rollins, in your personal experience, when you consent to sex, is it enthusiastic and freely given, involving no coercive power or threat? "

"Always."

Alex nodded, and the breath she had been holding escaped her throat. She was happy to never put Amanda through this again. "Thank you, Detective. No further questions for this witness. The people rest."

Olivia left the courtroom and waited for Alex and her girlfriend in a private room at the next recess, and she sighed in relief when Amanda walked straight into her arms, breathing her name into her shoulder. "You're okay, baby. You did so good." Liv knew the blonde was crying, so she just wrapped her up, pressing her lips into her hair. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with that from him, sweetheart, cornering you like that where you couldn't even see me." She looked up for a moment. "That was disgusting, Alex."

The ADA nodded in agreement. "I should have objected more, Rollins. I'm sorry."

The younger detective pulled slightly away from her girlfriend, just enough so the lawyer could see her lips as they moved. "No, you had to let him have his cross, especially to set you up for that ballsy redirect."

Alex shrugged, watching as the other blonde held on to her girlfriend for dear life, wiping away tears as they fell. "Do you two need a minute alone? I don't mean to intrude."

"No, you're fine." Amanda shook her head, wiping the last of her tears and taking a step away from Liv. She took a few slow deep breaths as the older detective gingerly pulled flattened blonde hair away from rosy cheeks. "That was risky, Alex, askin' me those leading questions. You were basically testifying."

"Nine times out of ten," the prosecutor rationalized, "attorneys don't object to leading during redirect. I took the chance. I just hope it pays off."

Liv pulled Amanda into her body once more, wanting the rhythm of her breathing to calm the younger woman's occasional hiccups and gasps as she came down from her cry. "Alex, it almost seemed like you forgot Amanda isn't here as an expert witness."

"I didn't forget," she acknowledged, "but I'm sure glad Buchanan only objected once. It's just as well, as long as it proves Patton is the lying scumbag rapist he is."

"I don't want you to get in trouble though, Alex." The brunette pulled up a chair for her girlfriend to sit in before pouring her a cup of water. "Being objective and doing your job ethically is important to you."

Alex raised her hands in surrender. "No harm done. I made the questions less speculative, and it seemed to satisfy the defense. If Buchanan objected to the line of questioning again, I would have pivoted. He didn't, and so—it worked. I appreciate your concern for me, Liv, but it's not like either of you are exactly the poster child for objectivity. I'm learning that may not be a bad thing."

Olivia couldn't argue with that. She turned back to Amanda. "You doing okay, love?"

"Yeah. It was just a lot…" She swallowed. "Really fast. I didn't know how explicit to get, but I know juries respond to details. I'm sorry, Liv. I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"Shh, baby. Don't be sorry." Olivia knelt down next to her girlfriend, tucking a wild strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm so proud of you."

"You did great," Alex commended her with a small smile. "You really held your own with Buchanan. I can't imagine how hard that was."

"Yeah, I did kinda want to curl up into a ball and cry."

Olivia smoothed her hand over Amanda's hair, letting it rest against her shoulder. "It's over now, okay?"

Amanda nodded with one last shaky sigh. "I'm just glad my part is done. Now I can't wait to see how Buchanan thinks I consensually got pancuronium bromide in my system."

"Well, since I'm already going to hell, maybe after Patton testifies, I'll call you myself."

Liv looked up at the ADA and for the first time that day, she noticed the reddening of her eyes as well as the dark circles below them. "Alex, get some rest."

"I'll do what I can. Liv, I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning for Buchanan's first witness. Goodnight, guys."

The brunette turned to Amanda after Alex had left the room. "You ready to go?" After she nodded, Olivia grabbed her girlfriend's jacket, wrapping it around her as she stood up. The older woman took Amanda's hand in hers, giving it a soft squeeze before they left the room.

"That was…out of character for her," Amanda observed, leaning into Olivia as the brunette led her through the courthouse lobby. "Like she's tryin' to match Buchanan's…Buchanan-ness." There was no denying that the younger cop was exhausted, but she didn't like that she felt as if she was losing definitions to words she used all the time.

"This case is especially important to her," Olivia figured. "I think she blames herself."

"Blames herself for what?" Amanda's girlfriend just looked at her. "For what happened to me? Because she didn't come looking immediately? Liv. She has to know that the only person to blame for what was done to me is Patton."

Liv's brow furrowed as she lifted their joined hands in order to kiss a set of knuckles. "I'll be sure to remember you said that the next time you try to claim you walked into it."

"That's probably for the best." Amanda chuckled lightly. Leave it to Olivia to lovingly call the blonde out for being a hypocrite. "Hey, Liv, can I ask you a crazy, out-of-the-blue question?"

Olivia stopped as they arrived at their car. "Sure."

"Do you want to get married?" Amanda blurted out, blushing furiously. "I mean, not now," she amended. "Just…after the trial. When all this is over."

A wide smile spread across her lips, and the light soreness was welcome. "I would love that."

"Really?" Amanda didn't know what she expected her girlfriend's response to be, but the enthusiasm she was seeing on the older woman's face and in her words was not it. "After everything, you—you still want to be my wife?"

"Of course." Olivia checked around her to be sure no one was close enough to observe the interaction, and then she pulled Amanda to her gently. "Look at me, love. Nothing I heard today changes anything at all, except that it's further proof you're the strongest person I know."

Amanda wanted to be convinced, but she knew there was no way Liv was unaffected by her words. "Cause I mean," she shrugged, "I can't promise you a wedding night."

Olivia shook her head, releasing both of her girlfriend's hands in order to cradle her face with both of her own. "That's not why I want to get married, sweetheart. I want the whole world to know how much I love you."

Amanda took a shaky breath. "That's a lot of people."

Liv leaned in to press her lips to the blonde's forehead. "It's a lot of love."

The next morning came quickly for Olivia, and before she knew it, Buchanan had begun his direct examination of Amanda's old boss. "Captain Reynolds, how do you know the defendant?"

"He is my direct supervisor."

"So," the defense attorney continued, taking a few steps, "he's been involved in detective work around sex crimes for many years?"

Captain Reynolds nodded. "Yes, even longer than me. He's very dedicated to putting rapists away."

Buchanan smiled, approaching Reynolds. "In his time as your superior officer, have you ever known Deputy Chief Patton to be violent towards women?"

Reynolds chuckled, shaking his head in the negative. "Never, Mr. Buchanan. He's a perfect gentleman."

"Captain Reynolds, if not to rape the complainant, why was Patton in New York on the day in question?"

"About a week before he was arrested, he told me he was goin' to the city for business. He does that sometimes. But listen," the Captain implored, leaning towards the mic, "that Amanda Rollins always had a thing for him, was always goin' after him."

Both of Olivia's fists were clenched in rage, and she looked at Alex. Was she going to object? Reynolds was a character witness for Patton, he wasn't there to talk about Amanda. But she didn't. The prosecutor leaned back casually as she listened to the two men speak. The brunette allowed her fingers to relax. The ADA must have had a plan.

"So, if Detective Rollins and Deputy Chief Patton were having an affair…" Buchanan trailed off in order to let his witness finish the statement.

"I wouldn't be surprised. Not one bit," he exaggerated. "Chief is a ladies' man—women trip over themselves tryin' to get to him. But he's not a rapist."

Buchanan nodded. "Thank you, Captain."

He gestured for Alex to begin cross, and she stood up immediately. Olivia could tell she was out for blood, which she deemed appropriate for the situation. "Captain Reynolds, it is your testimony that Deputy Chief Patton often comes to New York for business, correct?" She tapped her pen against her hand as she spoke.

"Correct."

"Now, does that business require him to carry around a dangerous paralytic agent?"

Reynolds was unsure of how to respond to the attorney's question. "What?"

Alex smiled, stepping forward. Her question had landed in its intended way, and it was clear the Captain knew more than he was letting on. "Let me explain. You said Chief Patton told you the week before the alleged crime took place that he was coming to New York for business. What was he doing here that required him to have pancuronium bromide pulled up in a syringe, ready to go? He's not an executioner, and even if he were, New York has abolished the death penalty—not that even an executioner in Georgia would likely be carrying around a lethal drug. So why did he have it?"

"I…can't speak to that."

Alex hummed as she rested her legs against her own desk, crossing her arms in smug defiance. "You can't speak to that or you won't speak to that?"

Reynolds stuttered out a sad attempt at an answer. "I won't speak—I mean I can't speak to that."

"Hmm." Alex looked directly at Buchanan. "Who's perjuring themselves now?"

"Objection!" Buchanan thought for a moment, realizing he wasn't sure if he even had grounds to object.

Alex was unbothered, moving to sit back down. "Withdrawn. Nothing further."

Quickly, Reynolds was dismissed from the witness stand and he was replaced with Patton. Olivia bore holes into him as he spoke, giving him no choice but to look elsewhere. "Now, Chief Patton, you are an esteemed sex crimes Deputy Chief. Why would Amanda Rollins accuse you of rape?"

Patton shrugged. "I have no idea. I was always good to that girl. I know things got outta hand between us, and I regret the injuries she sustained, but…rape? No. Never."

Buchanan nodded. "Detective Rollins had her chance to tell her side of the story, and you've decided to testify in order to tell yours. So, I'm going to let you do that now. Please tell us what happened on the day in question, Chief Patton."

"First," Patton sighed, eyeing Olivia for only a moment, having to avert her gaze when she didn't falter, "I want to say that it brings me no pleasure to disparage a brother in blue, or in this case, a sister. I have a great deal of respect for Amanda Rollins, and I hope our workin' relationship can be restored in the future. She's a talented detective."

"Thank you for sharing that with us, sir. Can you start with the text the detective says she received?"

"Certainly." Patton leaned forward. "I was in New York for business, and I reached out to Amanda, since I know she's with Manhattan SVU now. I just wanted to catch up, but she started flirting." The man shifted uncomfortably, and he cleared his throat loudly. "I'm a married man, Mr. Buchanan, and I know what I did was sinful, but when she offered me more than just catchin' up, well—who was I to refuse?"

"So, she propositioned you?"

"Oh, absolutely. Absolutely," the Deputy Chief stressed. "She was chompin' at the bit to meet me in that buildin'. She said she'd turn off her phone so her girlfriend couldn't track her."

"What happened in the building?"

"Well, we had sex. A few times. And then all of a sudden, she…changed."

Buchanan raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'she changed'?"

"Well, she got violent. Tried to lay a few on me. Truthfully, I wasn't sure what was goin' on. I saw a rock, and I didn't even think—I just picked it up. I hit her with it. I was really just tryin' to get her to calm down, but even after I defended myself with the rock, she kept screamin', tellin' me I was gonna ruin her life, something about her girlfriend breakin' up with her. Honestly, it wasn't even coherent half the time." Patton looked up at Buchanan. "I was afraid she was gonna hurt herself."

The defense attorney nodded. "Chief Patton, the people have brought up your use of pancuronium bromide. Can you explain its involvement with the incident at the warehouse?"

"Sure, counselor. I realize it's weird," he conceded, "but I wanted to be sufficiently prepared in case Amanda went crazy on me. I mean, she's done it before—when a case didn't go her way, when a perp got released, any time I needed to reprimand her in my office. She's always had violent tendencies, and I wanted to be prepared to defend myself without causing her grievous harm. She's not a bad young lady, just misguided. The rock was a mistake, something I resorted to out of fear."

"So, you brought the pancuronium bromide to New York in case Detective Rollins became violent towards you during your time together?" Buchanan confirmed.

"I know it sounds crazy. I have a buddy that works on death row. I wanted to connect with Amanda again, and I wanted to do it without puttin' myself in danger, but I could never hit a woman. It was a really small dose, just enough to keep her still while I got away and called for help."

"There's no record of your 911 call, Chief," the defense attorney pointed out. "Why is that?"

"I realized as I picked up my phone to call that I wasn't puttin' myself in a good position, but I was puttin' Amanda Rollins in a great position to accuse me of rape. I got scared. Everyone believes women these days, and I was afraid no one would want to hear my side of the story. I'm just glad she's okay."

Buchanan nodded. "I need you to be very explicit, Deputy Chief Patton. Did you rape Detective Amanda Rollins?"

He shook his head vehemently. "Of course not. The truth is I feel sorry for her."

"Thank you, Chief." He turned to Alex with a small, vile smirk. "Your witness, Ms. Cabot."

Alex stood up behind her chair, white knuckling the slots in the wood for a moment. "May I have a brief recess before cross, your honor?"

Olivia was at the attorney's toes as she left the courtroom immediately after she'd been granted the recess. She was fuming. "You can't possibly tell me you're not ready to cross examine that sorry excuse for a defense."

"Of course I'm ready, but I need a few minutes to calm myself." Alex brought her right hand to her forehead, leaning slightly against the wall with her other hand. "I don't even want to dignify the self-defense story by acknowledging it, Liv. We need another strategy, something that will completely blow this bogus defense to smithereens." The ADA exhaled slowly. "I think the jury is buying our side. I mean, the doctor did more than I could have hoped with that cannibalism answer. Remind me to retain her as an expert witness, by the way. What I'm worried about is the language around affirmative consent in New York is vague at best. So we can't argue that she didn't say yes, but Buchanan can argue that she didn't say no."

"What are you talking about Alex?" Olivia, who'd been following the ADA until the end of her rant, was dumbfounded. "She couldn't say no."

"I know that." Alex held out a hand in front of her to pause Liv's understandable reaction. "But Buchanan is claiming that the sexual contact happened before the paralyzing agent, in which case she would have been capable of saying no. Regardless, it's hard to prove that what happened is what happened, in the order that it happened. "

"He threatened me though. That's coercive force, and her lack of no means nothing in that case."

Alex nodded. She knew this is the direction she needed to head in, as this would be her first, last, and only chance to question Patton. "I can push the affirmative consent piece in summation, especially since I brought it up with the redirect. Someone needs to set that precedent. God knows it's long past due. Juries are finicky though, and I need more than that. We have to prove he threatened you, something more solid than Amanda's word." Alex wracked her mind, quickly shuffling through everything she knew about Amanda's attack, eventually arriving at a promising thought. "I have an idea. Amanda put the address of this abandoned warehouse in her drafts before she deleted the texts. Did she type it or was it a screenshot?" Olivia shrugged. "Can you get her on the phone?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Trust me. I want to win this case as much as you do, Olivia."

After the recess, the ADA started by passing Buchanan a piece of paper. "May I approach the bench, your honor?" Alex held up her two remaining copies of the document in order to display her reasoning for the request.

Buchanan basically rolled his eyes upon examining the paper in front of him. "Objection. Your honor, this is the first I'm hearing about this."

Judge Blake waved both attorneys forward. "Counsel, approach."

Buchanan interrupted his opponent as she tried to speak. "This is ridiculous, your honor. My client and I have the right to be made aware of any new evidence against him in a timely manner."

Alex handed the judge her copy of the exhibit she was attempting to enter into evidence. "Mr. Buchanan's objection is premature, your honor. I'm currently in the process of establishing relevance, and he will have the opportunity to raise any objection based on that. It is Detective Rollins's testimony that she deleted these text messages before leaving the courthouse on the date in question. However, it recently has come to the people's attention that first she screenshotted her reply to the defendant. We would have entered it into evidence earlier, but it hasn't been available to us until now, and the people believe that texts from the complainant to the defendant mere minutes before the alleged crime took place are relevant to this case. The jury should hear about them."

"I'm inclined to agree with you, Ms. Cabot. I'll admit the messages into evidence on the condition that you can establish relevance. But tread carefully."

Alex nodded. "Thank you, Judge." She placed the original print out with a highlighted text in front of her witness as the defense attorney walked back to his seat. "Chief Patton, what is on the paper in front of you?"

"Text messages."

"Between you and Amanda Rollins on the day in question, correct?"

"Yes."

"I'd like to enter this document into evidence as people's exhibit two." She waited for Buchanan to object, but to Alex's surprise, he didn't. This made it more convenient for her, but she had been prepared for a fight. The prosecutor's analysis of the trial proceedings so far was that it was going her way, but she needed something more concrete, hard evidence to prove Amanda hadn't consented, even before the pancuronium. Because the defense attorney didn't object—Alex knew he had no legal basis to do so—the judge found the text messages to be admissible.

"Deputy Chief Patton, it is your testimony that Amanda Rollins consented to sex with you on the day in question, correct?"

"Yes."

"Now, just so we're all operating under the same working definition, can you please share with us what consent means to you?"

Buchanan scoffed. "Objection—relevance. I didn't ask this witness anything about the definition of consent."

Before Judge Blake could rule on the objection, Alex took a chance and spoke up. "Your honor, the defense's contention is that before physically assaulting him, Detective Rollins engaged in consensual sex with the defendant. I think the jury should know what an 'esteemed sex crimes Deputy Chief'—Mr. Buchanan's words—means when he refers to 'consensual sex'. It's the definition of relevant."

"Objection overruled. The witness may answer."

"Uh…" Patton thought for a moment, before speaking as if he were reading out of a dictionary. "A consensual sexual encounter occurs when all parties enthusiastically agree to engage in an activity, freely given, with no threat, physical force, or any other form of coercion."

"Right." Alex nodded, pacing casually back and forth. "That was Detective Rollins's testimony as well. Seems as if APD had a consensus regarding consent."

Buchanan hadn't sat down since his last objection. "Objection—is there a question here?"

"I'll happily rephrase that," Alex obliged. "Is that the definition of consent you and your subordinates operate under in Atlanta?"

"Of course."

"Great. Now, let's get back to people's exhibit two. The highlighted text in front of you is a message to you from Detective Rollins, yes?"

Patton nodded. "Yes."

Alex once again leaned against her desk, prepared to watch the show she'd so painstakingly produced. The jury was going to love this. "Would you read it for us please?"

The man cleared his throat, looking down at the paper in front of him, and Alex could tell how badly he was wishing it said anything other than what it did. He began to sweat, and the attorney was only slightly ashamed to admit she was enjoying the defendant's discomfort. It was an inappropriately small dose of his own medicine. "'I'll do anything you want, just please don't touch Olivia'."

The ADA nodded. This was her winning argument. "Just one question. Does that look enthusiastic to you, Deputy Chief Patton? Freely given without coercion or threat?"

"I…uh…."

Alex leaned further against her desk, crossing her arms. "You what? Is that a no? Are you admitting that by your own standard, Detective Rollins did not consent to sex with you?"

Patton reached to loosen his tie. "Please."

Alex didn't falter, coming as close to the witness stand as she assumed she could without being given a warning by Judge Blake. "I'm sure 'please' is exactly what Detective Rollins would have said to you on that day if you hadn't rendered her incapable of doing so. I'm going to need you to answer the question, Chief Patton."

"I…I refuse to answer."

After a moment of tense silence, Alex turned her attention to Judge Blake. "Your honor, please instruct the witness to answer the question."

"Chief Patton," the judge said, "by deciding to testify today, you give up your fifth amendment right to remain silent. You must answer Ms. Cabot's questions."

Patton swallowed hard. "Can you, uh, can you repeat the question, ma'am?"

"Happy to. Do the words you see in front of you appear to be enthusiastic and freely given?"

"Not particularly."

Alex chuckled. "Not particularly," she repeated, turning her back to Patton and walking back towards her desk with a small smile in Olivia's direction. She knew she'd made the right call.

"Your honor, I have no further questions for this witness."

A/N: This chapter is so long, I'm so sorry. I would love to know what you all think, and I hope you are all still safe and healthy.

-Gabby