Akira

My hands began to tremble as I stared at the wizard in the doorway. They began to sweat profusely as I pushed against the table, trying to back away even though I knew I had nowhere to go. Every vein in my body was screaming with fear. My face was probably as white as sheet and I could feel my heart palpitating hard in my chest. I tore my gaze away from him as he turned towards us with a grin on his face.

Natsu all but pounced on him, yelling about how much he had missed him and how he was never going to lose another battle against him. Gray and Lucy also stood to greet him, both of their faces a beacon of joy and delight at the unexpected visitor. Cana greeted her father fondly and he gave her what seemed like a bone-crushing hug that felt more painful than nice, but it was still good.

I stood up and slowly, cautiously, tried to sidle away from the cozy scene, hoping to escape to my room. If he recognized me… if he even had an ounce of anger left in him from when we clashed… there would be hell to pay.

"Kira! Get over here! I want you to meet my dad, Gildarts." Cana said cheerfully. I was facing the door and tried to keep my shoulders relaxed and my expression neutral as I felt her hand latch around my wrist tugging me toward the one place I did not want to go. I gulped and masked my eyes as best as I could as she pulled me with her. I turned as we walked over to where he and the others were waiting he smiled warmly down at me as we reached them.

"You must be Akira, Cana's new friend. It's nice to meet you. I'm Gildarts, her father." He said kindly, nodding at me. A breath of relief filled my lungs as I prayed that this wasn't just a fluke. That he really didn't remember me at all and maybe I could avoid another clash with him.

"She knows who you are, dad." Cana said irritably. "I just said your name, didn't I?" I glanced at the obvious annoyance in her voice. Gildarts frowned, looking at his daughter who had turned away from him.

"Yes, of course you did, I just… thought I'd be polite." He said slowly.

"It's nice to meet you too." I blurted out, wanting to ease the tension. Gildarts looked over at me and smiled. Then I saw a flicker of recognition. No.

"Have we met before?" he asked, turning to face me fully, looking me up and down. My cheeks heated up as I stepped backwards and bumped straight into a hard wall that I found out was Gray's chest.

"I-I don't believe so." I said, struggling to keep my expression neutral. Gildarts frowned and traced over my hair and my face, down my arms to my wrist. On instinct, I shoved my hand behind my back as he took in a sharp intake of breath. He had recognized me.

"You." He hissed. He flung his cloak to the side and raised his hands, ready to fight me. I stumbled backwards, pushing Gray away from me. Gildarts grabbed Gray, Natsu and the others and shoved them behind him as he stepped forward, his eyes furrowing in anger. I regained my bearings and stood tall, my chin high, even though I knew that this could be the end for me. I smirked at him and lifted up a mask of indifference around me.

"So you recognized me. I was so hoping that we wouldn't have to go through this." I said in mock sadness, inspecting my nails. Gildarts growled at me as everyone in the guild started to glance in our direction. Gray stepped out from behind Gildarts and put a hand on his chest, stepping out in between us. I felt a lurch of gratitude as once again, Gray stepped out in between me and certain death.

"Wait, Gildarts, you don't understand. She—"

"No, Gray, you don't understand. This is an assassin who, two years ago, tried to murder me in my sleep."

Silence.

Gray's hand on Gildarts' chest fluttered and dropped to his side as he turned to look at me. Him and everyone else. As more pairs of eyes fell on me, I felt myself stepping backwards, my mask slipping. This was not good. I would have to tell them what happened if I wanted any chance of them trusting me. If I told them what happened, more questions would arise. I had to figure this out calmly.

"Okay, okay… let's all just calm down." I said, my voice shaking. Gildarts' eyes flashed and he took an abrupt step forward. I sucked in a sharp breath and stumbled backwards, falling over a chair.

"I think you better start talking. Why the hell are you even in the same room as my daughter and my guild? You shouldn't even be breathing the same air." Gildarts' snarled. I felt tears prick the back of my eyes as I crawled backwards on my butt. I grabbed the leg of a table and pulled myself up, trying to compose myself at the same time. I was in big trouble here. The only way I could get out of this was to tell the truth. Well… most of it anyway.

"Okay, look, I'll tell you what happened, just calm down. I already told you I left that life behind. This doesn't change anything, please." I stretched out my hands to Gray: the only lifeline I had left. He didn't come towards me, but he didn't back away. I took that as a good sign.

"Two years ago, my partner and I took a job that was two ranks higher than what we were allowed to take. It had been just after we completed one of Albian's hardest tests. We felt invincible. It was stupid, even for an assassin." I began softly. I picked up the chair I knocked over and sat in it as Gildarts relaxed a little. He surveyed my face and hopefully, he saw something worthwhile because his face seemed to soften a little.

"The job consisted of finding and killing the most powerful wizard in Fairy Tail. We thought we could handle it. Then we tried to kill… you." I lifted a shaky finger towards Gildarts. "And obviously, it didn't work. And before you jump to any conclusions about me," I said directly to Gildarts. "You should know that I left that life three months ago and I am never going back. This is my home now. I am so sorry that I tried to kill you. I was lost and confused and I couldn't distinguish between right and wrong. I hope you'll forgive me one day." I said quietly. Cana stepped out from behind her father.

"The first day you came here, you told me you knew my father. You said you had only heard of him. Why didn't you say anything?" she asked, a slight bit of hurt in her voice. I smiled and looked up at her, shaking my head.

"That would have been an interesting conversation. 'Yeah, I knew your father. I tried to kill him, but he beat the shit out of me instead'. That's not the best way to start a friendship, don't you think?" Cana stifled a laugh, looking down.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She turned towards her father and put her hands on his chest. "Dad, I know you probably have conflicted feelings, but Akira has been here for over a week. She has proven time and time again that she means us no harm. She's fun and sociable, and maybe a little hot-tempered but she's become a really good friend. I hope you can accept her into our guild because hopefully, after this week, that's where she'll be." She turned to me and gave me a grin that had my heart lurching with guilt. What kind of a person could lie so easily like this? Gildarts sighed and lowered his hands, which were still raised defensively.

"I never thought you looked like a killer to me. You were barely old enough to even be out on a job alone. Your partner on the other hand…" Gildarts sighed and shook his head. "He was long gone. I could already see it. I hope you didn't bring him with you." I shook my head firmly.

"Raymond and I stopped being partners long ago. He is ruthless and bloodthirsty. He doesn't care about anything or anyone but himself. Even before I quit the guild, I knew we would never work out." I explained, more to myself than to anyone else.

"Work out?" Gray asked abruptly. I looked up at him to see his eyes piercing into me with that seemed like jealousy. "You're saying you were more than just partners?" I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes, feeling slightly touched that he was jealous about someone I used to hang out with.

"For a time, yes. We were the only two who were allowed to train with Albian, even if he only trained once a week, whereas I trained every day. It was only natural to us. And for a time, it was fun. We were happy. Then he started to like the hunt more than he liked to hang out with me. We both stopped caring about each other. He even almost let me drown in a whirlpool because it was easier for the job."

I shut my mouth, looking down. I was opening up too much. Telling them about Ray was not what I had had in mind. I conveniently left out the part where I had tried to stab him when he stole the job I wanted. I left out the part where I betrayed him to the military police on one escapade gone wrong. I was feeding them lie after lie, making it sound like I was the good guy and had always been. But they had no idea who I really was. And it was killing me every day that they were trusting a person who didn't exist.

"I'm sorry." Gray said softly. I looked up at him and my heart clenched as I saw the sympathy in his gaze. I didn't deserve his sympathy. I didn't deserve anybody's pity.

"Well, that was definitely unexpected." Gildarts said cheerfully. "But if Cana and Gray trust you, then who am I to question their judgment. Welcome to the guild, Akira. It's good to have you." My cheeks heated up as Gildarts stepped over to me and shook my hand, pulling me up from the chair. I gave him a half smile, my eyes watering in gratitude. I never thought in a million years that I would actually shake hands with the man, besides Albian, who made me cower for the first time in my life.

"T-Thanks…" I stammered, still a little bewildered. I looked outside to see how dark it had gotten and only then did the exhaustion of the day fully take over. I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled softly, looking up at everyone. Gray put his arm around my shoulders and smiled as I leaned into his touch, unconsciously.

"Now, you have officially met everyone in the guild. All you have to do now is join and you will truly be home." Gray abruptly turned to me and planted a kiss on the side of my head. My smile vanished as I tried to ignore the heat wafting from the way his lips felt against my skin. I pulled away from him and cleared my throat.

"I'm, um… going to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning." I gripped my head, which had suddenly started pounding, and turned away from them, walking back towards my room to finally sleep for the night.

Gray

I watched her go almost in a trance. Her long blond hair cascaded down her back with the blue streaks looking more striking at night. Her hips swayed and her shoulders were loose and relaxed like she hadn't a care in the world. And involuntary smile made its way onto my face as I watched her figure leave the guild hall and out of my sight. I let out a pitiful, lovesick sigh and turned back to face the others.

Cana was smirking at me along with Gildarts and Lucy. Natsu looked like he was about to start laughing. I frowned at Cana's raised eyebrow and Gildarts' mischievous grin.

"What?" I asked, wanting to know why they were looking at me like that. Natsu burst out laughing while Gildarts wiggled his eyebrows.

"I see Gray's got a new girlfriend, huh?" He said suggestively. I recoiled as Gildarts inched over to me, bobbing his eyebrows up and down. I scoffed and pushed him away.

"What are you talking about? Akira's my best friend. She's not my girlfriend." I said firmly. Gildarts laughed.

"Could've fooled me. You literally sighed when she walked away. And don't think I didn't notice the way she blushed when you kissed her head. You two have some serious sexual tension that even a blind man could see." He said in amusement. I scoffed again, rolling my eyes.

"Oh, you don't know the half of it, Dad. You should see them during the day. Gray always tried to get close to her, but she pushes away. You think she's not into him but that's obviously not the case when you look at her face afterwards. They are obviously in love and one day, they'll be making cute little Gray and Kira babies that will be the hottest—"

"Okay! I think you've had enough to drink!" I exclaimed, cutting her off. I grabbed Cana's hands and yanked her away, before she could embarrass me further. Her dad guffawed as I gave her a mean glare. She just grinned and patted my head.

"We can all see it. You should just kiss her because we all know that's what you really want every time you look at her." She wiggled her eyebrows and giggled suggestively. I sighed and released her wrists looking back at where Akira had disappeared. It was true, I had thought about kissing her many times before. Whenever she smiled at me, all I wanted to do was grab her and pull her against me, with no intention of letting go. But something always held me back.

"Akira and I… we're just friends. We can't be a couple." I said sadly. Cana crossed her arms and frowned.

"I don't see why not. She's going to be a part of the guild one way or another, and you two already have intense PDA sessions even if there's no kissing involved. Why is it so impossible that you two can't be together? Are you scared?" I jerked my head.

"I'm not scared, I just don't think it's a good idea. She already has so much on her mind with Erza and Albian and the people after her. I don't want to add another thing for her to think about."

"You like her though, right?"

"Of course I do!" I threw my hands in the air and I turned to face Cana. "I've always liked her, even when we were kids! She already had such a loving personality with the kindest heart in the world. Now, she might be rough around the edges and her heart might have a sheet of iron locking it, but I've never felt closer to her. Even though I know she's done horrible things, I have to believe that her reasons weren't out of cold blood. I have to believe that the old Akira is in there somewhere." Cana touched my shoulder, her amusement gone and a serious look crossing her face.

"You should tell her, Gray. She deserves to know how you feel about her." I narrowed my eyes, staring down into space, deep in thought.

"Are my feelings even justified? Do I even have a right to feel this way? I know how she was before, but now… I know next to nothing about what happened to her over the past seven years. I don't know about the things she's had to endure, the obstacles she's had to cross, the feelings she's forced to feel. Something changed her drastically and I don't know how I'm supposed to react. I want to know about her past, but at the same time… I don't. What if the secrets I find out are worse and change what I feel for her? People keep secrets for a reason. What if hers is that it would change the way I see her?"

"Gray, calm down. If you truly love her, you'll listen to her secrets and you'll accept that they happened. You won't judge her for what she did in the past. You'll continue to support her for who she is now. And if she truly trusts you, she'll tell you her secrets in time." Lucy stepped forward and gripped my hands, giving me a soft smile. I sighed and looked down.

"You're right. I'm just… so confused about having her back. I still haven't gotten used to it."

"No one's expecting you to. I'm sure she's just as confused as you are." I looked up and smiled at Lucy. She always knew what to say. I thanked her as Cana huffed and crossed her arms.

"I still think you should tell her how you feel." She said stubbornly. I chuckled and looked out the window into the night sky.

"I will eventually. Maybe when she officially becomes a member. For now, I'm going to be there for her. I'm going to show her that she can trust me with her secrets. I'm going to show her that I won't judge her, even if her past is worse than I fear."

Akira

I sat on my bed, holding my blankets tight against my body. I was feeling colder and colder by the second as my body continued to shiver. I looked out the window and into the sky, my body shaking furiously. My teeth chattered as I pulled the sheets tighter around me. I couldn't understand why I was feeling so cold all of the sudden.

Images flashed in front of me of everyone in the guild who had accepted me. Flashes of Lucy's smile, of Cana's laughter, of Natsu's lopsided grin appeared in front of my vision as my systems began to detect abnormal behavior. I choked up a sob as Gray's face flashed in front of my eyes. He was giving me a half smile. He signature look, his eyes slightly narrowed and the wrinkles by his eyes making him look twice as handsome. His full features and dark cobalt eyes gazing into mine with faith and trust. He trusted me.

They all trusted me. I didn't deserve to be trusted.

I was a traitor. I was a liar, a thief. I stole their trust and their faith in the goodness of my heart. There was no good in me. There is never any good in someone who can kill another human being with no remorse. How could I be a good person when the only reason I stayed was to kill?

Death followed me everywhere I went and it was no surprise that I didn't seem to mind it. Death and I had become old friends because I had given him so many lives, taken before their time. I am cruel, I am worthless, I am a murderer.

Tears streamed down my face as my throat constricted with choked sobs. I rocked back and forth, burying my face in my sheets, wallowing in self-hatred. I never should have been a part of this world. If I didn't exist, Gray wouldn't be in danger. I wouldn't have killed those seven people. I wouldn't be lying to the only people who ever looked at me as person and not as a killer. All I wanted was to escape from this world. I wanted to vanish like I never existed so all the people I had hurt wouldn't have to experience the pain I put them through.

But I knew that my role on this earth wasn't over yet. I still had a job to do. This would be my last job ever. I would kill one more person, and in doing so, I would spare all the lives of the guild members. It was only one more life. What was one life against the lives of many? What I was doing was wrong and I knew it. But if it saved others, wouldn't it be considered right?

Maybe there was another way. Maybe I didn't have to lie. Maybe I could pretend to kill him and then…

I shook my head. There was no escape from this. I couldn't tell them because then they would go after Albian and die in the process. I couldn't kill Albian myself because he couldn't be killed. I couldn't turn him in because then he would kill me and everyone I had ever affiliated myself with. I couldn't ask for help from anyone because no one I knew would or could help me do this. There was no escape from this.

I cried and cried for what seemed like a lifetime. Rain pounded against the window of my bedroom as I stared outside, hating myself even more for what I had to do. For what I couldn't escape from.

After tonight, I wouldn't shed another tear until it was over. After tonight, I wouldn't show any emotion. Everything after tonight would only be tactical. This would be my final night to express any emotion I had left.

And so… I cried until the day broke.