Emily was startled awake by a pounding on the door. Her heart seemed to jolt out of her body as her eyes flung open. She must have been in a deep sleep because she glanced around the room in confusion. It was still dark out and Spencer's leg was wrapped around her. His eyes were closed, but she was sure something had woken her up. She heard the rapping on the door again and she pushed his limbs off of her, and rushed to the door.

When she opened the door, she found that it was JJ. Emily brought her hands to her eyes and tried to push the sleepiness out of them. Something was wrong. Emily flipped on the light switch by the door and winced from the brightness.

"Sorry, guys," JJ said. Her voice sounded worried. "Hotch needs everyone downstairs in 10 minutes. There's been another murder."

Emily stared at her in stunned disbelief. That didn't fit their unsub's kill pattern at all. It was too soon. If he was accelerating this quickly, then there was no way of knowing when his next kill would be.

"We'll be right down."

JJ nodded her head and heard her knocking on the next door down the hall when Emily closed the door. When she walked in front of the bed, she found Spencer sitting on the side of it with his feet on the floor, and stretching his arms up high above his head.

"That doesn't make any sense," Emily whispered.

"Sheriff Rhodes said he was putting the town on a curfew. No one should have been out after dark but nonetheless, we should have had at least one more day before the next kill."

..**~~

The team stood in front of the Tavern after investigating the dumpsite. The unsub had dumped the body right in front of them all. Nothing about the kill added up. The murder weapon changed, the kill pattern, and now the unsub was taking pieces of the body with him. Either Hotch was right and the unsub was making a point or he was just reckless. Morgan was attempting to get more information from Garcia, but Emily knew that was likely a lost cause. She hoped Garcia would be okay. She made a mental note to herself to check on her as soon as she had a chance.

They delivered the profile, but Emily had a gut feeling that they were missing a piece of the puzzle. She just couldn't figure out what it was.

It was a busy day. The team split up around the town and brought in anyone who was even remotely suspicious. It may have been overly-cautious, but she agreed that it was necessary. If there was another murder tonight and they hadn't taken every precaution they could, then that victim's life would rest on their shoulders.

Hotch encouraged the team to get as much rest as possible and ordered Garcia to keep working in case the unsub wasn't in custody overnight. JJ had brought them burgers from the local diner and they gathered in the front room and ate in silence, except for Hotch. She guessed he was in his room.

Emily just stared at her half-eaten burger. They had the tavern owner's son in custody and it made her feel guilty. She knew it was necessary, but what Garcia had said earlier wouldn't leave her mind. If he had been the unsub, why wouldn't he have killed her? Was he just trying to play games with them? Joshua was the best suspect they had based on the profile, but what if their profile was wrong?

Emily broke the silence. "I think Garcia is right."

"About what?" Morgan asked.

"Joshua isn't our unsub."

Reid examined her face. "What makes you so sure?"

"This guy is getting a new thrill with each kill. Hunters prey on the defenseless." Emily tried not to look at Garcia. She didn't want to sound insensitive, but these were the facts laid out before them. "Joshua knew she didn't carry a weapon and she was alone. He would have killed her, no doubt about it."

She found Garcia's eyes filling with tears. Emily rose from her seat and knelt before her, taking her hand in her own. It didn't matter if they were wrong about the profile. She's never felt more relieved to be wrong. It meant that Garcia was safe.

"He matches the profile perfectly." Morgan was giving her a hard stare and he wrapped his arm around Garcia.

"Then we're missing something."

Rossi stepped into the conversation. "Whether our guy is in custody or not, we'll get him tomorrow. We've taken every precaution we can. That's the best we can do today."

Emily nodded her head and pat his shoulder. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Sometimes, the best they could do didn't feel like enough. She picked up the container that held her burger and walked it to the trash.

She fled to the room and unholstered her weapon. She placed it on the side table beside the bed. She wanted it close in case there was another disturbance in the night and they needed to act fast. Hopefully the hot water of a shower would clear her head enough to think.

Emily exited the bathroom and scanned the room. She was alone. She clicked on the space heater and curled herself in the chair at the table. Spencer had left the case file there. She flipped it open and displayed the papers across the table. There had to be something in there to help them figure out the missing piece of the puzzle.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting there staring blankly at the notes he had taken when she heard the door open. Spencer walked in and took her in. He was holding two glasses in his hands filled with a brown liquid, but Emily ignored it and stared back down at the table. He set the glasses down on the free chair and gathered the papers back into the file and pushed it aside. She saw a glass placed in front of her and he sat down.

"Hey."

She tapped her finger on the glass. "What's this?"

"I got it from Rossi. Scotch."

"Thanks." She took a sip and it burned her throat on the way down.

"Are you upset that we might have the profile wrong?" he asked.

"Not at all. I'm relieved. If we were right, Garcia would be..." Emily cleared her throat and took another sip from the glass. "Do you think we're wrong?"

"It's hard to say. I believe your instinct is worth questioning the possibility of it, but until we have more information, there's no use trying to find the answer tonight."

She knew he was right. It was one of those shitty circumstances where they just had to wait until they could make their next move.

"Is she doing okay?"

"I think so." He started tapping his finger on the glass in his hand. "Morgan is going to stay up with her for a while to be sure."

She smiled to herself. Of course he would be. Morgan was good like that. "That's sweet. I hope I didn't make her feel worse."

"Of course you didn't. She knows you care. You believed what she had to say," he said. He leaned his body forward and rested his forearms on the table. "But, Emily, I think what's bothering you is that you feel guilty about something that didn't even happen."

"But if it had then-"

"Then it wouldn't have been your responsibility. The only one to blame would have been the unsub."

She let out a long breath. "Spencer, you know it's not that simple!" Her voice was raised and she tried her best to calm herself before she spoke again. "We all have a responsibility to keep each other safe and every time someone is hurt, I just...I think about what more I could have done to stop it."

Great. She had tears in her eyes. She raised her eyes to the ceiling, wishing them to go away.

His voice was soft when he spoke. "It's just a part of the job, Emily. You know that. It does us no good to blame each other."

She knew that. Logically, she did anyway. But with everything that's happened this past year, she felt more worried with each case they worked. Hotch and Haley, Reid was shot…she never really let herself feel any of those things. It was usually easier that way. She just plunged ahead without looking back, but her time with the BAU was the longest relationship she had. She loved these people.

"Well, did you blame us?" she asked. "When, you know..."

"When I was shot?"

She shook her head 'no.'

He didn't answer her right away. She saw him purse his lips before taking a healthy drink of the scotch. His hand instinctively touched his forearm where the markings of the needle lingered on his skin. She guessed she didn't mind if he didn't answer her. The question was probably too personal to ask.

"No, I didn't," he said. "I didn't even really blame Hankel if I'm being honest. It was just something that happened."

She just brought the glass up to her lips and took a drink instead of responding. It was impressive of him to not hold a grudge against Hankel, despite what he went through as a result of it.

"I put the only faith I had in the team, and you guys pulled through. Everything beyond that was my own responsibility." He stated it like it was a fact. A rush of anger pulsed through her body. Except for the one time that Hotch had mentioned his drug problem when she decided to quit the team, no one had ever mentioned it. It was swept under the rug and they all left him to deal with it alone. She hated that he thought something that was forced on him against his will was his responsibility to deal with alone.

" Spencer ," she said. "I don't know if this is out-of-bounds to say, but I want you to hear it." She uncurled herself from the chair and reached across the table. She took his forearm in her hands and gave a gentle squeeze. He tried to pull away, but she wouldn't let him. "It wasn't something that should have been your responsibility to deal with on your own. They let you down. We all did."

"Emily, you barely knew me then."

"And yet, I saw it. You really think they didn't see it, too?"

He sighed and shook his head. "I've already made my peace with that."

"It doesn't make it right," she replied. "I have a tremendous amount of respect for them, but Hotch and Gideon should have-"

"They saved my career. They helped me by allowing me the option to stay."

She let go of his arm. She felt like she was crossing the line again. He was being very honest with her and she was worried that she was using their friendship to take advantage of that. He looked too calm for the conversation they were having, and she wished she could understand what he was thinking. Since he was so honest with her then she thought maybe she owed him a little bit in return.

"Do you know why I confronted you about it when I shouldn't have?" she asked. He shook his head. "I had a friend when I was younger. Well, okay, in all honesty, he was my boyfriend and we were 15 and I thought that I was in love." Emily took a deep breath. If she was going to tell the story, then she owed it to him to be completely honest, right?

"We were stupid and irresponsible and I wound up pregnant. When he found out, he ran. He just disappeared and I was scared. I had an abortion, Spence, and I don't regret it. But years later, I found out that he became a drug addict. I don't know what led him down that path, but I always felt guilt over it. Guilt that I couldn't shake off. I knew I couldn't help him."

Emily took a shaky breath and stared down at the table. "The difference is, he chose to go down that path. No one forced him to do it. But you didn't choose that, Spencer. You had that forced upon you, and I wish I could have tried harder to...well, to help."

When she looked up, he seemed to study her like a math problem. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea," he said.

He stood up suddenly and dropped down on his knee in front of her. Emily felt her heart thumping loud in her ears. His face made a grimace in pain and her eyes darted down to his knee. He really shouldn't be in that position. She doubted it was good for his knee when the wound was barely healed.

"I will tell you that I was so ashamed of myself back then and there is nothing you could have said to allow you to help me." His tone was serious and she frowned at his words. "Or do you not remember how I responded when you called me out on it?"

He gritted his teeth with a smile on his face. She laughed at the memory. He had snapped at her for weeks about anything he possibly could. They had come a long way since then.

"Oh, I remember Dr. Reid," she said with a laugh. She poked his shoulder. "And don't you ever think I'll let you get away with that again."

"I wouldn't dare," he said. "I like my butt un-kicked."

They both fell into a fit of laughter together. The tension in the air seemed to disappear around her. She didn't normally open herself up to people about her personal life, but she found that it was easy with him. He seemed to understand her without judgment.

Emily raised herself from her seat and reached her hand down by him. He took it with ease and she braced most of his weight to help him up.

"How's your knee?" she asked.

He bent it up and stretched it out. "I think it'll be fine."

"Come here." She pulled him into a hug and wrapped her arms tight around his back. Spencer stood rigid against her before leaning into her and resting his head on her shoulder. She ran her hand up and down his back and stepped closer until their bodies were flush against one another. Her head was pressed against his chest and she could feel his heartbeat against her cheek. His embrace felt like a warm blanket wrapping around her on a cold day.

She felt a heat rising in her core at the feeling of his body against her own. She could feel the sharp bones of his ribs against her stomach. It was different from what she was used to, and she appreciated him being exactly as he is.

She pulled away despite her body wanting to hold him close. She brought one hand to his shoulder and stood on the tips of her toes to gave him a quick peck on his cheek.

"Thanks, Spencer."

His head tilted to the side and he furrowed his eyebrows. "For what?"

She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. He was damn cute sometimes and he didn't even realize it. "For being exactly who you are."

He flashed her a smile like he couldn't help himself. "Thanks, Em. I appreciate you, too."

They stood awkwardly in front of each other. He was rolling back and forth on his feet like he was unsure of what to do.

"I'm gonna take a shower," he said. "We should probably get some sleep."

He strode over to the bathroom door and disappeared behind it. She heard the water running and stood still, unsure of what to do with herself. She didn't think he'd be very long in there, so she sat on the edge of the bed and decided to wait for him. She needed the bathroom to brush her teeth.

He strolled out of the bathroom a few minutes later.

"Oh," he stammered. "Sorry. I didn't realize you needed the bathroom."

His hair was dripping at the edges and he was wearing a t-shirt. She swallowed. She didn't remember a time ever seeing him in anything but a long shirt. His arms were always covered. His arms were more toned than she expected them to be. She knew he didn't work out. Maybe from the crutches? She felt the familiar heat rising in her cheeks and forced herself to look away. How could she possibly react like that to arms ? It was honestly the most ridiculous she had felt in a long time.

"I, uh, just need to brush my teeth."

When she returned, he was laying down on the bed with his eyes closed. He looked so peaceful and innocent when he was sleeping. It was endearing. She wondered if it would be a bad move to curl up beside him again. She shook her head at the thought and tip-toed over to the light switch by the room door. What the hell was wrong with her lately?

She tried her best to pull the blankets down slowly so she could slip in on her side of the bed.

"It's okay, Emily. I'm still awake," he said. His voice startled her and she pressed her hand against her chest, hoping to calm her heartbeat. She tossed the covers down and slid in.

"Damn, you scared me."

"I just thought I should say goodnight."

"Yeah, goodnight," she said slowly. There was a comfortable amount of space between them and she figured it was for the best. Her eyes drifted closed as she felt the stress from the day fall off her shoulders. Her voice was slow and sleepy when she spoke again. "Oh, and I should have said it before, but you have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Neither do you, Em." She felt the bed move and she assumed he had rolled onto his side away from her because she barely heard him when he spoke. She fell into a deep sleep within seconds.

Author's Note

This quick chapter is brought to you by the boredom of self-quarantine. I wanted to find a moment for them to grow their friendship and trust in one another. Be safe out there and happy reading!