Hello. I changed this story around a little bit so it would make more sense. Will update a new chapter soon. I'm also working on a new story called she keeps me warm. Please check it out.

Olivia wakes up shivering. The water's heat was long gone and she was freezing. Opening her eyes, she sees Amanda shivering on top of her.

"Oh no. Amanda. I'm sorry baby." She says sitting up with Amanda. She reaches forward and drains the tub. Olivia stela our and helps Amanda our. "I'll be right back." Olivia goes to the closet and gets a tool to wrap herself and grabs in for Amanda. Once they are both dry, Olivia moves them to the bedroom. Amanda doesn't bother getting dressed and lays down pulling the covers over herself. Olivia sighs and changes into a fresh pair of pajamas. She goes to the kitchen to grab the mop and other cleaning products.

After 20 minutes, everything is cleaned up and Amanda's clothes are in the washing machine. Olivia goes to sleep next to Amanda.

XxXxX

"Mommy! Mama! Wake up." Noah yells and jumps on the bed.

"Yeah, wake up." Jesse says laughing. Olivia groans and lays on her back. Jesse lays on top of Olivia. "I want breakfast, mama." Olivia smiles and nods not even opening her eyes. Amanda's sits up with the sheet around her and, suddenly, all of Olivias memories of last night come flooding in her brain.

"Amanda? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Why?"

"What do you mean?! What happened last night?"

"What happened?" Amanda asks stretching while holding the sheet around her. Olivia just stares at her.

"Jesse and Noah. Go to your room. I need to talk to Mama." They both go back to their room. Olivia gets a shirt for Amanda and passes it to her. Amanda slips it on.

"What is the issue?" Amanda asks. Olivia grabs her phone and pulls up the video she took. She hands it to Amanda. Amanda looks up at Olivia with furrowed brows before playing the video.

"I'm sorry. It was an accident. Please don't. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Amanda cries while rocking back and forth.

"I-I did this? I don't even remember this happening." Amanda cries throwing Olivia phone away from her. "How is this even possible?!"

"Amanda. Relax. Have you ever had really bad nightmares before?" Amanda nods slowly.

"My mom said I used to get them when I was little. Then I got them again in my early 30's, after Patton, but it wasn't like that. They were just nightmares. This is...horrible. What am I supposed I do?"

"We will figure it out. Why did you have nightmares? Do you know what caused them?" Amanda tears up and nods. "Do you feel comfortable telling me about it?" Amanda nods.

"It started when-" Amanda is interrupted by her phone alarm going off. "Shit. We have to get ready to

Go."

"We are not going anywhere until we know that you are okay. I will call us in and tell Lucy to take the kids to her apartment for the day." Amanda nods and Olive makes the calls. Olivia sits on the bed against the headboard and holds her arms out for Amanda. Amanda graciously accepts and lays with her.

"It started when I was little. My...dad had this friend. He was really nice and he would watch me and Kim when my parents were gone. It was the summer of '88 and my parents worked all day. He would come over in the morning and make us breakfast. I was 7 and Kim was 6. He always made me sit on his lap but I never really though anything of it. I sat on my dads lap and there was nothing ever sexual about it. My dad never hurt me...the way his friend did. His name was Marcus. He would start by watching me change and go to the bathroom. Then one day...he told me he was going to change too. I saw him touch himself and I just watched him. I didn't really know what he was doing. When he went home, I didn't tell my mom or dad. God, I was stupid." Amanda says sobbing and shaking.

"You were a child! That was not your fault. You didn't know." Olivia gently rubs her fingers through her hair repeatedly.

"Then he got into a habit of...touching himself. He would do it multiple times a day. Thankfully he never hurt Kim. I wouldn't let him." She says

"You were a great big sister back then. Good watching out." Olivia sadly smiles.

"Then one day...my mother and father went out to gamble...and they called him to watch us. They called late at night and said they were just going to come back in the morning. He came into our room and touched me. Then he went further. He raped and molested me. When he was done he just left. He didn't wait for them to get back. He just left us all alone. We could have died or gotten ourselves killed. God...Kim. She was so scared for and she was crying. She kept a asking why there was so much blood, but I just ignored her and read her a book. I didn't want her to be scared...but I was in so much pain and so terrified." Olivia slowly rubs soothing circles into Amanda's back.

"You were protecting her. You were very strong. What did your parents do? Did they report it?"

"No...when they came back they saw all the blood. I told them what happened and they never invited him back. But after that my dad wouldn't even look at me. I had accidents all the time afterwards and he would get me up in the middle of the night. He would throw me outside and make me stay outside all night. He said, 'dogs can't piss in the toilet and they sleep outside.' Or if it was too cold or too hot, he would put me in my closet all night."

"Last night, you had an accident. It's not a big deal but I thought you should know. I took care of it and please don't feel embarrassed. You were just scared, it's a natural response to fear in some people. ."

"Yeah, for a two year old. I'm so sorry that you had to...deal with that. It just reminds me of what he did to me." Amanda gets up quickly and puts her hand over her mouth. She makes her way to the bathroom and vomits in the toilet. Olivia sighs and follows slowly behind.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sick baby. We don't have to talk about it until you want to." Lucy knocks on the bedroom door and goes in to the bathroom.

"Hey, I'm going to the kids to the park then to eat at my place. I will see you soon. Feel better." She says before leaving the apartment with the kids.

"I need to be alone for a while." Amanda says.

"Baby..." Olivia says sadly.

"Seriously. Go."

"Amanda. I'm here to help you. There is no need-" Olivia tried to argue.

"Get out of the apartment! I mean it! Just leave me alone for a few hours!" Amanda yells harshly. Olivia feels her heart throb painfully. She nods and grabs her purse, quickly heading out of the apartment. Amanda flushes the toilet and stands. She rinses put her mouth and brushes her teeth. Amanda opens the cabinet and grabs out the three pregnancy tests that she bought. She opens them all at the same time. She takes them and waits the allotted time.

XxXxX

Olivia sits out front and just cries. She has no clue how to help Amanda and that's all she wants to do. Help. Amanda just wants some space for a few hours. What if these houses turn into days, into, or into years? What is she just doesn't want...us...anymore. Olivia thought to herself. Olivia walks to the subway and takes it to Amanda's favorite place to shop. Dior. They hardly ever shopped there but Olivia just her tax returns back. They had all there bills paid. The fridge was full and she really wanted to make Amanda happy.

Olivia picked out a form fitting long sleeve pink hair along with a perfume. The total cost 956. She couldn't believe she was actually spending this much money on something other then her kids but she loves Amanda.

After making the purchase, Olivia started to make the journey back to the apartment.

XxXxX

Amanda cries for a long time after getting the results of the test. Positive. All three of them. Now, she is debating her choices. She could have the baby and loose her relationship with Olivia. Have the baby and give it up for adoption. Have an abortion and still tell Olivia. Have an abortion and not tell Olivia. There are so many choices but none of them are good enough. So many things could go wrong.

The front door opens and she gasps.

"Amanda...I know you said you didn't want me to be here but..."Amanda quickly grabs the boxes and throws them away as Olivia gets closer to the room. She grabs the tests and drops one. As soon as she gets down to grab Olivia is standing in the doorway right right in front of it. "I got you something..." Olivia whispers seeing the test on the floor. Before Amanda can grab it, Olivia snatches it off the floor.

"Olivia..." Amanda whispers while slowly standing up.

"You had sex with someone else."

"It wasn't like that."

"Then what the fuck was it like?! I love you and show you nothing but care and you cheat on me!"

"No baby. It wasn't like that. He hurt me really bad and I'm so sorry." Amanda explains.

"What?"

"There was this guy and I admit that I was flirting with him. I was just happy to get some sort of sexual attention-"

"So, because we hadn't had sex in a while...you decided to go to someone else." Olivia Asia putting the stuff she bought down into the bed.

"I don't know what came over me I was being overly flirtatious and I...kissed him and things got really heated. We went into a bathroom and I let him touch me in places that I shouldn't have but I felt horrible and I pushed him away. I changed my mind put he wanted to keep going. I think...that's what set off my night mares. I hadn't had them in a while."

"I'm so sorry about what your father's friend did to you. And just because you flirted with that guy didn't give him the right to force you. Do you understand that you were cheating on me! I would never do anything like that."

"I know. I'm not using this situation to gain any sympathy. I have been going to therapy since you recommended it a few years ago. I talked through it with my therapist and it really helped me cope but I just had relapse I guess. I just...I don't know. After what...happened recently...the memories have just come back."

"When it happened, did you...get a rape kit? Go to the hospital?"

"No. I didn't. I just came home and took a shower and went to bed. It was 3 months ago, Liv, it's not worth talking about anymore. It's over and done with."

"Obviously it's not over, Amanda. It's clearly effecting you more than you think. " Olivia sits down on the bed and put her face in her hand.

"Yeah, well...I did go the day after to get tested on my lunch break. They took blood and I got the results back. I didn't have any STI's or anything."

"Screw the diseases, Amanda. You're pregnant. What are you going to do?" Olivia sighs and looks over at Amanda.

"I don't know. I wanted to talk with you about it." Olivia just scoffs.

"Yeah, while you are hiding the pregnancy tests. If I hadn't found them, you might have never told me. I understand that what you went through was traumatic and scary but why wouldn't you tell me? How can I trust you?"

"I know. Im sorry. I will try to fix this and do everything possible to gain your trust back...and about the baby...What should we do? I know it's not the circumstances you wanted. I will get an abortion if you want me to. I don't want to force this on you. Well, at this point, you might not even want to be with me."

"I do...but I think we need to to set boundaries and build trust again." Olivia says honestly. Amanda nods completely understanding where Olivia is coming from. Amanda fucked up. There was nothing else to say about. She knows the rape isn't her fault but it's still hard to not feel guilty about it. "I also don't want you to have an abortion but it is completely your decision."

"Can we afford more kids? We'll need a bigger place. Noah and Jesse already share a room."

"We will figure it out." Amanda falls into Olivia's arms and they just hold each other and cry.

Idek where this is going tbh. Help. Please give me idea in the comments.