Warning: this chapter contains material of an explicit sexual nature.

I did think about how necessary the sexual details were to the plot. Answer: very important, as you'll see when Our Hero eventually gets to know his soulmate. Then I actually had to write them, which took forever, as I'm not very good at writing sex scenes. I hope you enjoy it. The next few chapters will be sex-free, which means I will write them faster.

This is a very pivotal chapter—and not just because Severus finally gets laid!

Chapter Eight

Parties and Prophecy

The worst thing about being an apprentice at St. Mungo's, Severus realized a year later, was that he rarely got holidays off. Christmas? Most likely time for a child to blow themselves up with a new present. New Year's Eve? A common time for people to burn themselves with fireworks. And so on, ad infinitum. Master Elmore Greengrass got those days off, of course—only his apprentice had to stick around, just in case, staying the night in the small bunkroom behind their office, waiting for an emergency.

The only holiday Master Greengrass ever worked was Samhain, and that was primarily because it gave him an excuse to avoid the Death Eater gatherings that always occurred on that night. Master Greengrass might be a supporter of blood purity, Severus had learned, but he didn't like to get his hands dirty.

But because they both knew the holidays would be a busy time, Master Greengrass always made sure they were well stocked with common potions, and very often arranged for shorter days (and even days off) in the weeks preceding the busy times.

It was about three weeks before Severus's second Christmas at St. Mungo's. He and his boss were both sitting in their shared office, eating lunch, when Severus was surprised to hear his normally reticent supervisor asking a personal question.

"Is your mother a harpy?" he asked. "I mean—not the real sort, but the sort who hounds you into doing all sorts of things you don't want to do?"

Severus shook his head. His mother was so happy to see him, on the rare occasions he did get down to Italy, that they almost never did anything but lounge around and talk (or talk while brewing).

"Rats," said Elmore mildly. "I was hoping you might have some advice. But you're too much like me."

"What is your mum asking you to do?" inquired Severus.

"Go to a party," replied his boss with a sigh. "She wants to match me up. With a witch."

"Do you prefer wizards?"

Master Greengrass's eyebrows disappeared in his bushy hair. "Well, to be honest, I could go for either. But it's not the…" he paused, and then whispered, "the sex I'm worried about." He frowned before continuing in a more normal tone of voice, "She wants me to settle down, get married, have some kids. That means having a relationship!"

Here he stopped talking for a moment but continued gesticulating frantically. Eventually he said with a sigh, "Can you imagine me having a relationship?"

Severus scratched his head—and then listened, carefully, as Aziz whispered in his ear.

"I think the secret for a man like you would be to get a woman who loves talking. She'll think you're a great listener!"

Elmore shrugged. "Of course, then I'd have to listen to her."

Severus smirked, nodding. "When you were home. But how often are you actually home?"

"Hmmm. You think a witch would be okay with that? Me being gone all the time?"

"Maybe an independent witch. I know a few, though they're too young for you."

There was a long silence as they finished eating their takeout curry. Then Elmore said, "Would you come with me? I want to make sure I have at least one person to talk to, in case everyone else is a bore."

Of course, Severus didn't want to. But the man was his boss and would be the one recommending him to a new employer when his apprenticeship was up, and so he said, "Sure. I'd love to."

~~SS~~

As it turned out, the party wasn't as bad as Severus feared. It was mostly purebloods; many of the partygoers who were roughly his age had been in Slytherin house. The first people he saw were Lucius and Narcissa, who had finally wed. (Severus had received an invitation but had been working the night of the ceremony.) Severus introduced his supervisor to Narcissa, who'd also had a dab hand at potions, and mentioned that Elmore was looking to find a bride. Narcissa told him she'd think about possibilities.

Next, Master Greengrass introduced Severus to his brother Gareth, and then to Lucretia Yaxley, who was the daughter of an old friend—an old friend who was, much to Elmore's regret, currently out of the country. Severus remembered Lucretia as an unapproachable beauty (she'd been three years ahead of him in school) but, as it turned out, she was much more friendly than he'd built her up to be. "I'm working up in Spell Damage," she said frankly. "Just got promoted to full Healer. We should have lunch together sometimes—I'm a little sick of…" (here she looked around, checking to see if Elmore had left, which he had, before continuing in a whisper) "…hanging out with old folks." Severus nodded. Yes, he liked quiet, and he definitely didn't like parties (the overlapping conversations in a banquet hall did crazy things to his brain), but he was becoming a bit too hermit-like for his own good.

~~SS~~

The day after the party, Master Greengrass mentioned that his mother was trying to arrange a marriage between him and Aurelia Nott. "Who's only thirty-five," he grumbled.

"But you're—you're—"

"Fifty-six, I know," grumbled Elmore. "But my mother says that's what I get for waiting so long, and I suppose she's right."

Within a month Elmore was, indeed, wedded to Aurelia, and six weeks after that he informed Severus that his wife was expecting. "At least I don't have to worry about bearing an heir," he grunted. (His older brother, Gareth, already had a son attending Hogwarts.) "As far as you're concerned, just know that in a few months you'll need to run the show by yourself for a while—a month or so."

Severus stared at him, gaping like an idiot.

"You'll do fine," reassured his master. "You're almost as good as me!"

~~SS~~

The other repercussion of his visit to the party was a blossoming friendship with Lucretia. It was strictly platonic—Lucretia was already engaged to marry Herman Bulstrode, a beater for Puddlemere United. Lucretia's marriage, like Elmore's, had been arranged, but she was okay with this. "Herm's a decent sort," she said during her first lunch with Severus, "and pretty smart despite his knucklehead appearance."

Even if she hadn't been betrothed, Severus would never have loved her. For all her good looks—she was tall and curvaceous, with sparkling hazel eyes and wavy brown hair—she was a raging extrovert who loved parties and name-dropping, and absolutely abhorred books. In short, her personality was the polar opposite of Severus's. This was not to say they didn't have anything in common: the mere fact that they shared an employer—and came in contact with some highly interesting (and irregular) medical cases on a daily basis—meant that they had plenty of fodder for lunchtime conversation.

As the weeks ticked by, Severus grew more and more adept at potions; Aziz became more and more bored, as he had little to advise Severus on most of the time; Master Greengrass spent fewer and fewer late nights in the lab; and Severus's conversations with Lucretia became more and more personal. (They'd taken to getting takeout and eating in one of their offices.)

"So you've never been with a woman before?" Lucretia exclaimed one day in mid-February. "I'll have to find someone for you. Someone who would be a good teacher." At which point she started giggling and suggesting names—which started out bad and grew more and more horrifying in Severus's eyes.

In early March, she was more worried about herself: "I don't know what's wrong with Herman. He's not talking to me. Distract me with something funny, Severus." And so Severus did, telling her the story of the time Nott had accidentally flushed his wand down the toilet and they had to do a search of the plumbing (magically, of course) to retrieve it.

In late March, Lucretia had more news: "He wants to break off the engagement."

"What?" Everything Severus had heard up about Herman up until now had been nothing short of extremely positive. He could tell Lucretia really cared about him, and if the things she'd said about his actions were true, the feeling was mutual. "Lu, what's going on? Tell me about it."

"When we first got betrothed, he had this Muggle lover," she began hesitantly. "I knew about it, and he promised to break it off with her. And he actually did, within a week or two. But then—well, I guess a few weeks he found out that she was having a baby."

"He's sure it's his?"

"Positive," she said. "He feels the magic in it, even though it hasn't been born yet. And he can't leave her to raise a witch on her own, when she knows nothing of magic." There was a long silence while Lucretia wiped a tear from her eye. "I wish he weren't so noble about everything," she said finally.

"Fuck it," interjected Severus harshly. "There will be someone else for you. I assume your parents are going to look around again?"

"I don't want someone else," she grumbled. "Aside from being smart and kind and built like a god, he was bloody fantastic in the sack. How are they going to find anyone to replace him?"

~~SS~~

The weeks passed.

Severus got called to a couple more Death Eater 'parties' and had Aziz rustle up golems to replace the victims.

Lucretia grew more and more despondent. She half-heartedly tossed out more names of women she could match Severus up with for his first time, but the majority of their lunches for the next month or so were spent quietly. In the middle of May, she reported that her parents had found a new groom for her: Marshall Fawley.

"Isn't he…"

"Still at Hogwarts? Yes. Just finishing his seventh year, so he's six years younger than me." She shuddered with revulsion. "I mean, I'm sure he's perfectly nice. He's a Ravenclaw, so probably smart as hell. But how am I supposed to have anything in common with someone that much younger than me? Severus, my last year at Hogwarts, while the sorting hat was doing its thing, I looked at the firsties and all I could think was how tiny they were. And he was one of them!"

She sighed deeply and buried her face in her hands.

"Well," said Severus, trying anxiously to think of silver linings, "At least you know you'll have a few more years to establish yourself as a healer before you take a break to have kids."

"Yeah," Lucretia replied miserably. "A few years, waiting for him to grow up. I know it won't matter when we're nearing seventy, but right now…damn it, he has a late birthday; we can't even be officially betrothed until July. I'm taken, and also not taken."

"So live a little," Severus smirked. "You said yourself that you'd miss the variety of partners, once the betrothal took hold."

"The thing is…well, when I was with Herman, I realized how much better sex is when you actually know the person. I'm not sure I could go back to picking up random wizards at bars." Lucretia paused to blow her nose, then glanced sideways at Severus. And then, suddenly, she looked at him as though she was just seeing him for the first time.

"Sev, hey. I know we were joking about how I could find you a witch to help you for your first time, teach you how to pleasure a woman. But…I mean, what if it were me?"

"You?" Severus gaped at her. "But Marshall…"

"Will not be my betrothed for six weeks. And you, Sev, are someone I know, whose company I enjoy, and someone whom I will absolutely not fall in love with. Exactly what I need."

"I…well…I mean…" Severus meant to say no, but at that moment his eyes dropped from Lucretia's face and he saw her cleavage. "I guess so," he said.

"You live alone, don't you Sev? Because we're not doing anything at my place." Lucretia still lived with her parents.

"Technically, yes, but my mum does pop in now and again—completely without warning, as she doesn't trigger the wards."

"Hmmm." Lucretia thought a moment, tapping her lip with one finger. "You know, we could try the Leaky Cauldron—but I think we're likely to be seen there. I think we'd be more anonymous at the Hog's Head."

~~SS~~

And so it was, on a cold, wet night in early June, that Severus and Lucretia left work together and Apparated together to the front porch of the Hog's Head. They rushed inside—it was pouring in Hogsmeade, unlike the drizzle they'd encountered in London—but lingered a bit in the bar, talking about work over shots of firewhiskey. Eventually Lucretia took Severus by the hand and pulled him up the stairs and into a dingy room overlooking the rear alley.

"Lesson one," she announced as she locked the door. "Never go straight to fucking. Always talk to a witch before you take her to bed."

Severus nodded, not knowing what else to say.

"Lesson two," Lucretia continued. "Even when you get a witch in your bedroom, don't go straight to fucking. Start with a compliment first, then kissing." She stopped, saw where Severus was looking, and scowled. "And whatever you do, don't say 'Nice tits.' Try to tell a witch what she really wants to hear."

"I love your hair," Severus rasped. He wondered if it would sound too awkward if he cleared his throat, which was feeling unaccountably dry. Reaching out with one hand, he gently wound a strand around his finger. "The curl is natural, right?"

Lucretia sighed. "Bane of my existence. At least I've found a potion that mostly keeps it from frizzing."

"Don't apologize," Severus said softly. "It's beautiful. I've always loved women with curly hair." He smoothed his hand over her hair, then froze suddenly. "Merlin, I really have no clue how to do this."

Lucretia frowned. "You've never even kissed anyone before?"

Severus shook his head. "C'mon, Lu. Look at this face of mine. I wouldn't be anyone's first choice."

Lucretia scoffed. "Men with big noses have…certain advantages. And you have lovely hands—very talented at fine operations. I can't wait for you to touch me. Look, Sev, it's all pretty basic. Some parts of our bodies have more nerve endings than others, and we're going to stimulate those: fingers, lips, tongues, nipples, genitals. And while we could technically stimulate them with anything—it's easiest if we use body parts that are also sensitive. So: lips on lips. Tongues on lips. Fingers on nipples. Tongues on nipples. You get the point."

Severus blushed. "I've seen Playwizard before. I do understand the basics."

"Humph," said Lucretia. "Look: let me touch you; tell me how it feels." She reached out her index finger and whispered it along Severus's upper lip. Then she brushed her finger over his lip again, this time a bit more firmly. Then again, more firmly still. "Which did you like best?"

"The first."

"Good. Now you do the same to me."

He complied. Her eyes fluttered closed with the first stroke of his finger, and her breathing became more ragged with each pass. "Good, Sev. Now do the same thing again—except with your lips." He bent to obey her. As close as he was, he could no longer see her face clearly, but he heard the quick intake of breath, felt the tension seep from her body as his lips brushed against hers.

"Good," she said, eyes still closed, after he pulled away. "Now let's try that again, with tongues." In response to Severus's first, gentle swipe of the tongue, Lucretia's mouth opened and her tongue met his. Severus enjoyed the touching of tongues so much (and Lucretia wasn't complaining) that he didn't count the number of touches, nor think much about how firmly his tongue was supposed to be pressing hers. His senses apprised him of how well his partner enjoyed each move, and if she liked something, he repeated it.

Eventually, Lucretia pulled her mouth from his, and he realized that he had somehow ended up pushing her against the wall; his hands were cradling her breasts, and he was thrusting his cock (now completely hard) against her pelvis. "Oh, God," he whispered. "I'm sorry, I should have asked—"

"It's OK, Sev," said Lucretia with a smile. "Breasts were next on the agenda, anyway." She shoved him away just enough that she could undo her robe and drop it to the floor, then unclasp her bra, leaving her in only a pair of silky pink panties. Severus gaped. He'd known her tits were more than a generous handful—he knew that from looking, even before he'd gotten his hands on her earlier—but nothing had prepared him for the reality of seeing a woman's breasts in real life.

Lu's voice eventually jarred him back to reality. "Robe off, Sev," she said. He fumbled with the fastenings—his eyes were still fixated on her nipples—and dropped his robe to the floor. She was eyeing the bulge in his boxers very appreciatively. "So, breasts," she said. "Look, why don't I just show you how I like them touched? And then you do it." She cupped her breasts in her hands and caressed them softly, working her way in towards the nipples. "Light to moderate touch on the sides of the breasts but use a bit more force on the nipples."

Severus watched her squeeze and pinch for a few seconds before stepping forward. "My turn?"

"Please," she said. "And don't just use your hands." She slipped past him, sat on the bed and beckoned him forward.

Severus touched, licked, sucked, and fondled her breasts for what seemed like forever, but also not long enough. He only broke away when he felt her hands pushing down his boxers and stroking his cock. "Oh, Merlin, Lu," he whispered. "I don't think I'm going to last long if you keep that up."

"That's the point," she said, continuing to stroke. "You're very observant, very good at figuring what makes me feel good. When I finally get you inside me, I want you to last a good long time. And the best way to do that is to make you come first. I promise I'll get you going again. Okay?"

"Yes. Yes!" Severus could already feel his balls tightening up. There was no way at this point she could keep him from coming, even if he said no. So he bent again, took her nipple into his mouth, and thrust his hips against her, reveling in the delicious friction of her hands and the taste of her breasts as he came all over her thigh.

Lucretia only gave him a short while to recover before grabbing her wand and using Evanesco to vanish the cum that was splattered all over her. "Orgasm number one for you," she said cheerfully. "Today we both come twice. My turn next. Let me show you how I like to be touched down below."

Severus was a quick learner and it wasn't long before he was using his tongue and long, talented fingers to bring his friend to a satisfying orgasm. As she'd predicted, he was again ready for another round by this point—the feeling of her body pulsing around his fingers had guaranteed that.

"Sweet Merlin," panted Lucretia shakily. "Are you sure this is your first time? Well, let's get on to the main course—and don't you dare orgasm without bringing me over the top first!"

The next thing Severus knew, his cock was buried deep in Lucretia's hot, wet pussy, and the pleasure of each thrust was sending him close to sensory overload. How in the world was he supposed to concentrate on getting her to orgasm? How was he supposed to know how to pleasure her when he was be so obviously distracted? The answer came to him in a flash: Legilimency!

He probed gently into Lucretia's mind and discovered her wishing that she could have just a bit more stimulation on her clit. Reaching between their bodies seemed awkward and distracting, so he pulled enough control together to provide a gentle, flicking stimulation wandlessly and non-verbally. "Yes, yes, yes!" she exclaimed, and a few seconds later he felt her muscles tensing, and then the sudden clenching of her pussy around his cock as she groaned aloud. His orgasm followed quickly, sending waves of pleasure exploding through his body.

~~SS~~

They lay together on the bed, exhausted. "Too heavy?" asked Severus, who was on top.

"No, you're fine," replied Lucretia. She paused, then asked, "I know this is a total mood-killer, but is that Dumbledore I hear?"

Severus had been vaguely aware of the rumble of conversation coming from the room next door—even as consumed as he was with the delicious sensations of sex, the voices were loud enough that he couldn't completely ignore the noise coming from the other side of the wall. Now he paid more attention. "I think you're right. And that woman he's talking to—her voice sounds familiar too."

Lu wrinkled her brow. "There was a Hufflepuff—I think a year older than me? Scrawny little thing with glasses?"

"Or that Ravenclaw, what's her face, Mansfield?" suggested Severus. "Ooh, she's getting mad. Are you up for listening in on the lovers' spat?" He leaped to his feet and pulled on his robe.

"Jeez, Sev, who cares? Come back to bed for another round."

But Severus wasn't interested anymore. He hadn't cared much for Dumbledore, whom he thought an obsessively happy fool. If he had blackmail material on the Hogwarts Headmaster—consorting with a former student so much younger than him!—maybe he could get the leverage to be hired as a Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor after his apprenticeship was up later this year. He unlocked the door and slipped out, shutting it silently behind him. Tiptoeing down the hallway, he realized that no one would hear him; although the door to the room in question was slightly ajar, the woman (who, he realized at this point, was in fact the Hufflepuff Lucretia had mentioned earlier—Trelawney, if he remembered correctly) was now yelling at Dumbledore.

"How dare you question the veracity of divination?! It's a fine art, a…"

The voice cut off suddenly. And then Trelawney resumed in a voice that was clear, cold, and barely her own. "THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE DARK LORD APPROACHES…BORN TO THOSE WHO HAVE THRICE DEFIED HIM, BORN AS THE SEVENTH MONTH DIES…"

"Ey there, lad, what'cha doin'? Eavesdroppin'?" A searing pain shot through Severus's left ear; he realized that someone had caught a hold of his earlobe and was pulling him away from the door.

"No, no!" he replied angrily. "I just didn't remember which room—Let go!" He struggled to break free, aware that he'd missed part of what seemed to be a prophecy. But it was no use—Trelawney had stopped speaking, and his assailant—the barman—now had a firm grip on both his earlobe (using his left hand) and his robe (with the right). Severus flailed around, trying to break free, and accidentally crashed into the partially open door. Both he and the barman tumbled onto the floor in the room.

"Well, I never!" exclaimed Sibyll Trelawney, while Albus Dumbledore looked down his long nose at Severus, frowning.

~~SS~~

A few minutes later, the back door to the Hog's Head flew open and Severus Snape came tumbling out. He caught himself just in time to keep from falling on his face. He realized, once he came to a stop, that he was barefoot: it was hard not to notice, when he was standing in a puddle. As the wind kicked up and he felt the breeze swirling up under his robe and around his privates, he realized he'd also left his boxers upstairs. This was definitely not his finest hour: it was time to retreat. And so he spun on the spot, focusing on the place he knew best: Spinner's End. There was a faint pop, and the alley was empty.