The next morning Hermionecrawled out of the bed that once belonged to Regulus Black and, on all fours, made her way to the bathroom connected to her temporary bedroom.
Oh gods my head. I feel as if a giant kicked me in the head. Did I see Hagrid last night? Perhaps Hagrid kicked me in the head. Do I even have a head anymore?
Pain throbbed through the head she did still have and reverberated down her spine, mixing oddly with the acids of her stomach.
Oh fuck oh fuckfuckfuck
Hermione quickened her crawl into the bathroom, her bare knees slipping on the white tile in her haste, and grabbed a hold of the sink, pulling herself up just in time to vomit into the white antique basin.
Three times.
I'm dying. This is what death feels like. Hermione knew that was hyperbolic. She'd faced death before at the end of a mad woman's wand, but still, this was dreadfully unpleasant. Breathing heavily Hermione turned the sink faucet on and splashed cold water onto her face. She held her hand under the running water and caught some in her palm, bringing it up to her parched lips and Hermione rinsed out her mouth and then took a few greedily gulps.
Definitely a Prewett trait, then.
The witch pulled a hand towel off a rack on the wall by the mirror and wiped her face while trying to clear the cobwebs encasing her memories from the previous evening. It had been months, perhaps even years, since Hermione had had that much to drink-have I ever had that much to drink?- and the experience admittedly had been enjoyable to a point. Fabian was quite enjoyable.
Hermione groaned and sat down on the edge of the ornate claw-footed bathtub. I flirted last night with Ron's dead uncle. Merlin's sake, Granger. Though to be fair, Fabian was not dead and Ron, if he existed in this reality at all, would still be in nappies. Hermione chuckled. At least there was a comforting thought- wee little Ron soiling himself.
Pain seared through Hermione's skull and she clutched at her head, burying her hand into her impossibly thick hair. She could feel the tangles beneath her fingers, but was too exhausted to care. All she wanted was a nice cup of tea.
Stumbling a bit from dizziness when she first stood, the witch slowly made her way out of the bathroom. When she reached the stairs, an obstacle she had forgotten as her own flat was- well- flat, Hermione grabbed hold of the railing with both hands and carefully descended the stairs sideways. Making sure to look directly at the wall as staring down was giving her terrible vertigo.
"How can something so enjoyable at the time leave you feeling like such utter rubbish?" Hermione muttered to herself as she entered the kitchen. Every muscle in her body was tired and felt as if it had been stretched and wrung out like the laundry.
"Morning sunshine!"
Hermione grabbed her ears and glared at the black haired wizard happily frying eggs on the stove. Sirius's fair and muscled torso was bare, as were his feet, and on his legs he wore a pair of black sweatpants that had the words 'Holyhead Harpies' down the side.
Hermione slumped into a chair and carefully lowered her forehead onto the cool, smooth table. "Why in Merlin's name are you yelling?" Sir
Sirius chuckled. "This isn't my yelling voice, kitten. Just wait until you hear that."
"Dare I say I've heard it before." Hermione mumbled with a scowl.
"What was that?" Sirius asked.
"Nothing." Hermione said quickly. "Is there any tea made?"
Sirius nodded to a pot on the counter and Hermione sighed with relief. She pulled her aching body from the chair and filled a cup with tea from the pot. Hermione brought the cup to her lips slowly and with great anticipation, expecting the warm liquid to sooth her fatigued body.
However, such was not the case.
Hermione spit the liquid out and began gagging. "Are you trying to poison me?!" She demanded, turning to Sirius.
"What are you talking about?" The wizard scoffed, his grey eyes wide. "That is the Sirius Black Secret Recipe Tea. Famous throughout the wizarding world!"
"What's the secret? Arsenic?" Hermione grabbed the pot and took it to the sink, pouring its contents down the drain.
"What are you doing!" Sirius rushed over, but Hermione held up her leg and pushed the pureblood away.
"I'm going to make a proper cup of tea, something that won't strip the paint from the walls." She said as she began rinsing the inside of the teapot, a bit wobbly as one of her legs was still fending Sirius off.
"I didn't have to make you any tea, y'know!" Sirius growled before walking back to his frying eggs.
"Probably would've been better if you hadn't." Hermione countered. "By Godric, do you drink that wicked liquid every day?"
"I'll have you know plenty of folks love my tea. You are fucking insufferable. Last time I try to do something nice, Merlin's sake." Sirius grabbed the the handle of his frying pan a little too forcefully and knocked it off the stove. "Bloody hell!"
"Need some help with the eggs as well, Sirius?" Hermione asked sweetly.
"Bugger off." Sirius snapped as he flicked his wand at the eggs strewn across the floor which immediately disappeared. "I was going to tell you an owl came for you this morning from McGonagall, but now I think I won't."
"You just did." Hermione said, looking around the room for a letter, thinking immediately of her commandeered wand. "Where's the letter?"
"Now y'see, I would love to tell you, truly I would." The wizard grinned. "But I will require an atonement of sorts, an apology if you will, for your reprehensible behavior this morning."
"Sirius Black, you will tell me where my letter is or you will rue the day you met me." Hermione turned her narrowed amber eyes to Sirius and took a step towards him, pointing her finger menacingly.
"I already rue the day we met, kitten, so you might as well just apologize and be done with it." Sirius folded his arms across his chest and gave the witch a crooked smile. He looked so much different than her Sirius- his face was aristocrat but not gaunt as Hermione knew it and it was strange to see his chest without the black tattoos, but the indestructible hubris that was Sirius Black remained the same.
Hermione lifted her chin and squared her shoulders, starring down the wizard defiantly.
"Come now, surely you won't let a petty thing like stubbornness keep you from getting your package?" Sirius advised.
Package? McGonagall must have sent her wand with the owl. Hermione considered her options for a moment- she wanted her wand, but she loathed the idea of Sirius believing he had one upped her. Hermione's appraising and trained eyes scanned the room again and she grew increasingly more frustrated as she found nothing. If only she could- ah, yes, why not?
Struggling to keep a smile from her lips, she apologized. "I am sorry, Sirius."
"Ahhh see, that wasn't so hard." Sirius practically purred.
"Sorry that you can't make a decent cup of tea." Hermione taunted and then waved her hand in the air. "Accio parcel!"
For a moment nothing happened and Hermione feared it hadn't worked, but then a brown box tied with twine flew into the kitchen and slammed into Hermione's chest. The witch let out a quick 'oof' as she caught the package and then smiled triumphantly at the startled wizard. She took the package to the table and began unwrapping it eagerly.
"How do you do that?" Sirius inquired from behind her.
"Do what?" She asked, still unwrapping.
"Wandless magic. I mean, we can all do a few spells here and there, but Godric, do you even need a wand?" Sirius wondered, more than a little jealous awe in his voice.
Hermione stopped and stared down at her hands. Of course she needed a wand. Everyone needed a wand. Except, no, she knew that wasn't true. Just the other day she had been reading that at Uagadou in Uganda, students do not use wands at all. But she had always needed a wand, hadn't she? "I- I don't rightly know. I suppose I just... do it."
Sirius guffawed. "Just do it? Blimey, why hadn't I thought of that myself?" He drawled sarcastically and turned back to the stove to fry a new egg. "Just do it." The wizard mumbled under his breath.
Hermione rolled her eyes and finished unwrapping what she could now see was a wand box and opened it hurriedly. To her relief there was her wand resting comfortably in a bed of red silk and tucked beneath it was a letter. Hermione took her wand first, savoring the feel of it; she hadn't realized how naked she felt without it until she had it back in her hand once more. For a moment she held it tight, connecting with the magic that coursed through it. After an affectionate squeeze, Hermione went to slip her wand into the band of her pajama bottoms to suddenly realize she was not wearing pajama bottoms- she was wearing men's boxers.
"What the hell!" Hermione exclaimed, reaching down the examine the boxers more closely. "Wh-what am I wearing?"
Sirius turned to the witch, who was bent over with a fist full of boxers, and raised a dark eyebrow. "A pair of Remus's boxers, don't you remember?"
Hermione shook her head.
Sirius snorted and cracked another egg into the pan. "Figures you two would go on a grand shopping adventure and forget a pair of pajamas. You were going to sleep in your jeans until Remus gave you a pair of his boxers. Don't worry," Sirius snickered, "they're clean."
Will the humiliation never end? Where is Remus, anyway, still sleeping?
Hermione considered hexing Sirius just to work out some frustration, but decided against it- she wasn't in the mood for a petty duel. Instead the curly haired witch unfolded the letter at the bottom of the box and read.
Dear Miss Granger,
Good morning. I trust Mister Black and Mister Lupin are treating you well. My deepest apologies for not coming by to see how you've settled in, but I have urgent business to attend to. Fear not, I will also be continuing to look into your predicament and have already begun to explore a few possibilities. If you recall any information that could be of help in that vein, please do not hesitate to owl me.
As for your assignment, as you requested I spoke with Madam Pince regarding access to the Hogwart's Library. Merely show her the letter I have enclosed and you will be free to explore the many tomes at your leisure. I have already taken it upon myself to connect Grimmauld Place to the Hogwarts Floo system. Let me know if you have any further trouble.
I have also transferred funds into Mister Lupin's account at Gringotts in order to reimburse you for any expenses during your assignment. I felt it best to keep your name away from any official paperwork. Do make Mister Lupin aware of the additional funds.
I will be in contact.
Minerva McGonagall
Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Hermione sighed and read the letter a few more times. "Sirius, might I trouble you for a paper and quill?" She asked as she sat down, folding up McGonagall's letter and placing it back in the box. Silently a paper, quill, and ink bottle floated to the table and landed delicately in front of Hermione. "Thank you." She said softly.
On the paper she began a list much like the mental list she had begun yesterday, as currently her brain was still too frazzled from her hangover for too much deep thinking. Hermione began by listing the horcruxes from her time and everything she could remember about them, when she got to Harry Potter she frowned and sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. In a quick stroke of her quill she crossed out Harry's name and wrote Neville Longbottom.
Hermione inspected her list and sighed. There was so much she didn't know about this world and so much she needed to know, but how to find out? Sirius sat down heavily at the table, jostling Hermione from her thoughts. The witch considered the wizard before her and scrunched her forehead in thought.
"So," she began awkwardly, "McGonagall said that you and Remus are to... assist me in whatever ways I might need...?"
Sirius didn't look up from his eggs. "Aye, that's my understanding as well."
"Ah excellent, I think I may be in need... of your assistance that is." Hermione stated lamely, not sure where to begin.
"I already tried assisting you with some tea and that didn't work out so well." Sirius reminded her.
Oh right, tea, I'll make that in a moment.
"Right, a gallant attempt to be certain."
Sirius snorted.
"But what I need right now is... I- I have a few questions, you see, and I need some answers." Hermione was too tired to try and trick any answers from the wizard. There was certain information she needed and the sooner she had it the better.
"Suppose I can handle that." Sirius nodded, subdued somewhat by Hermione's obvious discomfort. Hermione made a mental note that Sirius responded favorably to being asked nicely.
No shite, Granger. Everyone responds well when asked nicely.
Hermione cleared her throat. "Excellent, thank you. First, whatever I ask it is imperative that you do not ask for me to elaborate. There are certain things that...that would put you in danger to know. Understand that anything I don't tell you is for your safety, alright?"
Sirius looked up with narrowed eyes, but slowly nodded.
Hermione allowed herself a small smile. "Thank you. First, I need to know about the Longbottoms."
"Frank and Alice?"
"Yes, and their son, Neville." Hermione watched Sirius shift in his seat, but continued. "I know what happened to them, vaguely. But I need more specifics, more...details. I know it might be difficult-"
Sirius cut her off. "Frank and Alice were Aurors"- okay, good, same-"and damn good ones. They were in hiding with their son because Voldemort, the fucking son of a bitch, got it into his slimy head that a child would be his undoing. There was a prophecy and it seemed to point to two families- the Longbottoms and the Potters." Sirius's features turned hard and cold. "He picked the Longbottoms because they're all purebloods. Fucking purists, the fucking lot of them. Fucking Voldemort and his fucking Death Eaters."
Hermione's chest ached for Neville, her first wizarding friend, and the lonely childhood he would still have.
Sirius continued. "They had a secret keeper, to keep them safe." Hermione leaned closer. "Peter Pettigrew." Sirius spat.
Ah, so there you are, Peter. Still the betrayer. This reality was hitting so many of the same cords as Hermione's own, simply in a different way. The song was like a sister to her world's.
"Who was Peter Pettigrew?" Hermione prodded.
Sirius growled and slammed his fit into the table. "A fucking rat. Pettigrew's not a who, he's a fucking what. A betrayer. A member of the Order, we fucking grew up together the four of us. Me, James, Remus, and Peter- he was our best mate at Hogwarts." Sirius was shaking now. "It was James's idea to make Peter the Longbottom's secret keeper. It was so far out we didn't think anyone would suspect him and he was one of the most trusted members of the Order. But he lied. He lied to all of us and led the Dark Lord right to Frank and Alice."
Hermione scratched a few notes by Neville's name. "And-and he killed them, Frank and Alice?"
Sirius looked away, but nodded.
"And Neville?"
"Survived. Merlin know's how and Voldemort has been gone ever since." Sirius said and then added. "They called him The Boy That Lived in the papers, little Neville, after he was found."
Hermione cocked her head, suddenly curious. "Who found them? Who found Frank and Alice?"
"Dumbledore." Sirius responded simply.
"Dumbledore? The Minister?" Hermione wrote another note. It had been Hagrid who found Harry in the ruins of Potter Cottage, wasn't it? Had he been sent by Dumbledore?
"Yea, Voldemort always had a sort of fear of Dumbledore as I've heard it. Don't know how the Minister knew what had happened or how to find them though." Sirius admitted as he began once again to eat his eggs, apparently having nothing else to say on the matter.
Hermione scribbled on her paper. Curiouser and curiouser.
"Right, thank you." Hermione gave Sirius a quick nod. "What about the Death Eaters, can you tell me which of them are known?"
"Sure." Sirius said through a mouth full of egg and then swallowed. "Yea, right, well as you saw there's Barty Crouch Jr." Hermione began to write a list as Sirius continued, "the Carrows- Alecto and Amycus, the fuckers- and then there's Titus Crabbe, the Lestrange brothers - Rodolphus and Rabastan- and Roluphus's wife, my lovely cousin Bellatrix." Sirius said, his voice dripping sarcasm.
Hermione stopped for a moment at the last name, her quill hovering over the paper.
Bellatrix. How could she have forgotten Bellatrix would be alive?
"Anyone else? Anyone," Hermione swallowed. "in...Azakaban?"
"Crouch we put away, thanks in part to you. Besides that the Carrows are the only one's we've gotten." Hermione's grib tightened on her quill as she listened. "The others we know because they're proud, they like to show their bloody faces, but there are more and I'd bet you good fucking galleons Lucius Malfoy is one of 'em. So much of their movements stink like that blonde bastard, but the fucker keeps his hands clean." Sirius sighed and used his fork to push around the last few pieces of egg on his plate. "Then of course, I can't forget, my own dear brother."
Hermione's eyes shot up. Bingo.