She was there. He knew she was there. The tracking spell McG-Minerva had placed on Hermione's wand would not have Apparated him into the middle of the forest unless his little witch was here. He knew she was here, but more than that he could feel her.
She's here Right? Right! Remus's thoughts were more than a little frantic at this point.
"Hermione," the wizard tried again, unable to keep the plea from his voice, "I know you're here."-I know it!- "Hermione!" He took a step forward and something, just above his skin, tingled, like the minute shifting of a breeze. The werewolf frowned and extended a wandless hand, feeling as the tingling traveled so gently up his arm he wondered if he were imagining things.
A ward, barely there, barely noticeable, but a ward nonetheless. Remus attempted to take another step forward, intent on meeting the magic of the ward head on, apparently having spent too much time learning from Sirius's recklessness. The wizard found, however, that his legs did not want to obey him. Or rather, could not obey him.
Though his brain was saying, go you fool there's something there! His legs were saying, this is silly, we should go home! And somehow the unanticipated defiance of his body was completely throwing off Remus's mind. Maybe there wasn't anything there, perhaps something was wrong with Minerva's spell.
Remus moved one leg as if to take a step back.
That was really what made the most sense, then, wasn't it? A tracking spell gone awry. Why was he even here? This was clearly empty forest, no sign of Hermione, he should just-
His eye's widened a fraction.
"You clever witch." Remus muttered in astonishment. Would he have even noticed the magic if he hadn't suspected Hermione was near? Remus knew he had to be close to her now; notice-me-nots and wards this precise didn't just pop into existence randomly about the woods. But what if she wasn't? What if this was all in his head. He was tired, so unbelievably tired. What if he just went home? Why was he-
Remus's wolf growled, an echo through the wizard's bones, inside his mind and the magical fog cleared. The man looked about, startled to realize that he'd briefly contemplated leaving and in a rare moment of gratitude, thanked the inner wolf, who rolled his eyes and snorted at the oddities of wizards.
"Listen you silly witch," Remus's voice took on a hard edge now, his frustration mounting. Why are you hiding from us, from me? "I know you're here so you can either show yourself or I'll just come back later." He narrowed his emerald eyes, searching desperately through what he knew was the illusion of a forest before him. "You can't run from me, Hermione, I'm here whether you like it or not."
Whether you bloody well like it or not I will be-
And then Remus was seized by a terrifying thought. A thought he knew had nothing to do with the magic around him. A thought that was entirely his own.
What if (he seemed to be plagued by "what if" as of late) the witch had not left because she felt as though she had to out of a need to protect, what if she had left because she wanted to? What if it was all a ruse? A lie? A manipulation of some sort. What if he had been played?
The werewolf frowned and cast his gaze toward the ground as the doubt and self-deprecation that had always troubled him turned its gnarled face inward. Remus was a monster, he knew this as a fact in the same manner he knew he was a wizard. It was as natural as breathing, as instinctive as the methodical beating of his heart.
Remus clenched his fist and set his face and turned back towards where he knew the witch must be. He needed answers and he was bloody well done waiting.
"Actually," he said with a casual air even he wasn't buying, "I'll just wait." And with that Remus confidently plopped himself down onto the dirt and, resting his elbows on his knees, brought his hands up under his chin.
And he did wait.
For a solid thirty seconds.
"Y' know what, sod it." Remus spoke to what he hoped was Hermione, but could've very well been nothing. "My life was quite exciting before I met you, perfectly exciting. The most exciting! I had all the amusement a bloke needed with just Sirius and James alone- wait, no wait, that didn't quite sound right." Remus rubbed his forehead.
C'mon, she might not even be there, no need to be awkwardly blundering through a conversation with the air.
"Listen, what I'm trying to say is I definitely did not need you." Oh good bloody job, Remus, she'll definitely want to come out and speak with you now. The wizard sighed. "Godric, I sound completely asinine. See what you do to me?" He gestured to no one, "I'm normally much more articulate than this, but you've got me all flustered. Ridiculous."
"I mean" -what the fuck are you saying?-"I mean I didn't need you before, before last week"-Godric, it's only been a week? Week and a half?- "but now I-I do." Remus sighed, "I find myself needing you in quite the same way I need Sirius and James, in the same way I once needed Peter. You're my friend, Hermione. I'm not sure that I'm yours, but you're most certainly mine and what you're doing, well, it's not the sort of thing one should do on one's own." Remus scratched the back of his neck as a sliver of sunlight escaped through the canopy of trees, warming his back.
"Did you really think you could just write a bloody note and we'd just nod our heads politely and murmur about the wisdom of Hermione Granger? You're crazy, y' know!" He suddenly accused, frustrated by his own rambling. "Completely out of your mind to think I wouldn't come after you." Green eyes looked up, searching. "Surely, little witch, you knew that wouldn't work."
oOo
Maybe she had known, maybe she'd been counting on it.
Hermione could've obliviated Remus and Sirius, wiped their minds clean of her, but she hadn't. Why hadn't she? At the time Hermione had convinced herself it was for the greater good; that if she were to fail then someone needed to know the details, someone needed to continue her work. But had that really been all? Or had it been that, perhaps, she couldn't bear it if more people she loved forgot about her?
And Hermione did love Remus. She loved him as she loved Seamus and Dean, as she loved George and Ginny, and in time, she thought, she could grow to love him as she loved Harry.
It was odd, this love that came upon her with little warning. In fact, she was rather startled by how natural Remus felt to her and wondered if this was some sort residual effect of the interdimensional travel. But why?
"I hope you can hear me." Remus whispered and Hermione's eyes snapped up, meeting his own across the ward and the witch shivered. Logically she knew he couldn't see her, but his eyes bore into her with a magnetism that made the witch want to cry or scream or rush through the wards and careen into him with such a force that they were both sent hurtling through time or space or whatever the fuck was out there.
But Hermione didn't. She stayed on the ground, knees digging into the dirt as if she were praying.
She didn't move, hardly breathed even, as she watched Remus scrub his face with his hands, shoulders sagging.
"Sirius is in the hospital." The wizard's voice trembled as he spoke and Hermione could nearly feel the pain wash over him. "He was injured, goddamned crucio'd by that bitch of a cousin of his."
Hermione's breath caught in her throat and escaped from her in a choked gasp. Bellatrix? Bellatrix hurt Sirius? And her mind was overrun by the sound of a manic laughter that lit a rage inside Hermione's stomach, threatening to burn through her.
She had left them so they would be safe! And of course Sirius goes charging into danger like some sort of foolhardy youth. That's basically what he is though, Granger, a foolhardy youth. The witch did some instant math.
Hermione had celebrated her 23rd birthday a few weeks ago and if this was the spring of 1982 that would mean Sirius and Remus could be no older than her, in fact, depending on when their birthdays were, they might even be younger.
And if they mature at the same rate as the blokes that I know, they may not even have mentally hit puberty yet. Hermione nearly rolled her amber eyes at the thought.
"It's been hours and he hasn't woke up yet-"
Hermione had nearly missed that Remus was still speaking, so lost was she in her own thoughts, and turned her attention back to the wizard.
"I-I just don't know what to do." From the defeated lilt in the wizard's voice, Hermione gathered that this was something he'd been saying quite often and her heart broke just a little for him. "I haven't seen Lily or James since- since it happened, they've been even deeper in hiding, and now Sirius is hurt and I'm-" he stopped, his voice quivering, and took a deep breath, "I'm alone, Hermione."
oOo
Godric's sake, could I sound any more pathetic? Yes, yes I probably could.
Remus hadn't realized how alone he felt until the words were slipping past his lips and he was now accosted by the full weight of them. James and Lily were in hiding, Sirius was laying in a bed in the Hospital Wing. Remus was alone. The last Marauder in the fight.
Sirius is going to be fine. He pushed his palm into his forehead and took another deep breath, though it was not as calming as he would've hoped. Sirius is going to be fine.
Was he? Was he going to be fine? Was he ever going to wake up? Was this bloody war ever going to end? It should be over, Voldemort was gone! But if this last week had taught him anything it was foolishness of believing oneself safe.
Remus pushed his other palm into his forehead as his body tremored from the effort of containing the maelstrom of emotion that threatened to overtake him.
Lily on the ground, her maroon hair sprawled around her like a halo.
James's tortured scream at the sight of his wife.
Sirius collapsing on the dark forest floor.
Suddenly, and rather astonishingly, two dark hands appeared out of thin air and grabbed Remus on either side of his face. The wizard pulled back, startled by the sudden appearance of disembodied limbs, but the hands held firm and Remus was pulled forward.
Hermione hauled Remus through the wards, wrapping her arms around his neck, and when the wizard realized who it was holding him, he fell into her with the full force of his weight, sending them both backwards.
Remus buried his face into Hermione's mad curls and soaked up the power of them, the power of her. She was like a summer storm; appearing unexpectedly and with unimaginable force. Sweeping through the countryside, the harbinger of a cleansing rain, the necessary torrent.
He crashed into Hermione the way he'd dive into the ocean, prepared for the undertow to sweep him away.
And it did. The witch enveloped him in her arms and let him drown in her.
oOo
Hermione was on her back with a leg casually slung over Remus's, her fingers tightly entwined within his own. Her amber eyes stared upwards at the blue sky peaking through the treetops, but she was not really seeing the fragments of blue. Her awareness was acutely tuned to the werewolf by her side. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest, she could hear heavy sound of air moving through his lung, she could practically taste the anticipation in the air as Remus silently waited for her to speak.
Hermione realized then that she had lied to herself- she already loved this wizard like Harry.
When the hell had that happened?
"Remus," Hermione finally whispered, her voice hoarse from disuse, "Remus, I-" she floundered, searching her impressive lexicon for the proper words, but her astute brain failed her, "I'm sorry," was all she had.
The werewolf said nothing and Hermione turned her head, pulling her gaze from the sky and to the wizard. Remus was on his back as well, but his eyes were closed, his face soft and relaxed, and Hermione wondered if maybe he'd fallen asleep. She shifted her body, laying on her side now, and she reached a hand out to push a lock of tawny hair from Remus's forehead.
"I forgive you." He whispered and Hermione's hand stopped, hovering just above Remus's forehead; if she had flexed her fingers she could have touched him.
"You do?" She asked, her voice laced with shock. Hermione wasn't accustomed to wizards who forgave so easily. Ron held a grudge in the same way some people keep hobbies, as if it brought him joy, and Harry was stubborn to a fault. Understatement of the sodding year, Granger.
Throughout the Golden Trio's decade long friendship, Hermione had often found herself at odds with one or both of her boys. Always, even when she maintained that she had been correct in whatever choice or action had upset them, it had been Hermione's responsibility to make amends. Sometimes it'd take weeks to get Ron- especially Ron- or even Harry to see reason. Remus acquiescing so quickly felt like a goddamned miracle.
The wizard in question smiled and Hermione's whole body relaxed, she finally brushed the noncompliant hair from his face, returning Remus's smile.
"Yes, I do." He stated, opening his eyes and turning to Hermione. "You're easy to forgive."
Hermione guffawed, "I know a few folks who would definitely not agree with you on that."
"They're idiots." Remus said firmly.
"Well, to be sure." Hermione nodded, thinking mainly of dear ickle Ronniekins. The arsehole.
"I know why you did it, why you left, and though I find your logic incredibly daft," Hermione glared and Remus chuckled, "incredibly daft," he repeated, "I know you thought you were doing the right thing."
Hermione sighed, resting her elbow on the ground and her head in her hand. "Daft, eh?" She smiled more to herself than to him. "Y'know, I was once called the brightest witch of my age by someone I quite admired."
"Brightest witch of your age?" Remus chortled. "What kind of sod did you bewitch to illicit a compliment like that?"
Hermione's lips curled into a wicked grin. "A professor of mine, actually."
"Oh a professor, yea?" Remus raised an eyebrow. "Sirius was right, you are a saucy little mix."
Hermione gasped and punched Remus lightly in the side. "You awful man!" She accused. "I was a third year!"
"Must've been a fit third year to seduce a professor." Remus nodded approvingly.
"You," Hermione pointed a finger in his face, "have been spending far too much time with Sirius Black."
"You," Remus pointed his own finger right back, "left me alone with him, love. Who else did I have to speak with?" Hermione furrowed her dark brow into a frown and Remus reached up with his thumb, rubbing her forehead as if to smooth it back down.
"No frowning, little witch, it's not becoming of a young lady." Hermione stuck her tongue out at the wizard and he laughed. "Tell me about this professor you were in love with."
"I wasn't in love with him!" Liar. Fiiine, but not romantically.
"Oh, you weren't? My mistake, that dreamy look in your eye must be a byproduct of my presence." Remus wiggled his eyebrows and Hermione laughed.
Oh you silly man, just you wait.
"Well," Hermione began demurely, "he was quite handsome-"
"See, I knew you were in love. A schoolgirl crush, how adorable."
"Shut it, you!" Hermione wiggled her finger in his face again before continuing. "He was handsome and brilliant and funny and one of the bravest wizards I ever met."
"Yea?" Remus teased. "Sounds like a right proper sod if you ask me. Brilliant and handsome? How annoying. No one should ever be brilliant as well as good-looking, breeds arrogance, y'see. Just imagine if Sirius was as smart as he was fit, no one would be able to stand him."
Hermione's eyes lit up in amusement. "He wasn't annoying, not at all, I quite admired him, but not romantically!" She suddenly clarified, seeing the look on Remus's face, "It was all very platonic."
"Ouch, platonic?" Remus shook his head and made a clucking noise. "Poor bloke, I'm sure he fancied you-"
"I was a third year!"
Remus motioned to all of her. "You obviously didn't stay a third year-"
"And he didn't fancy me, he was like an older brother or a-I don't know, an uncle I suppose. And he was married!"
"So you knew him for awhile then?" Remus asked, tucking a curl behind Hermione's ear.
"Yes," the witch whispered, her heart aching. "I knew him until...until the end."
Remus frowned, his eyes awash of sympathy. "Ah, my little witch, what did I say? A frown is most unbecoming on a lady."
Hermione punched Remus again.
"So tell me, I must know, who was this dashing and brilliant professor who was only just a friend to the apparent brightest witch of her age?" Remus laughed and grabbed Hermione's hand by the wrist before she could punch him again.
The witch grinned broadly. "His name was Professor Lupin," she watched in satisfaction as her own Remus's eyes grew wide, "Remus Lupin."
Remus choked, coughing suddenly, and sat up, hand on his chest. "Gods, witch! I was your bloody professor! You didn't mention that before! You told me I reminded you of a professor, not that I was the bloody professor."
Hermione threw her head back and roared with laughter. "How was I supposed to know you wouldn't put two and two together!"
"Your professor! Someone trusted me around children?" Remus shook his head. "Godric, that must've been awful."
"Not at all," Hermione reassured him. "You were the best defense teacher we ever had the whole time I was at Hogwarts."
"I was the defense professor?" Remus exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. "Blimey."
"The best defense professor." Hermione corrected.
"You lot must have had some shite defense professors," Remus chuckled, "for me to have seemed so brilliant."
"You are brilliant, Remus." Hermione insisted softly.
Remus shifted uncomfortably and looked over Hermione's head, not meeting her gaze. "I was thinking," he began slowly, "after you left how odd this is."
Hermione bit the inside of her cheek. "How odd what is? A witch stumbling through dimensions?"
"Well, yes that too," Remus chuckled, "but specifically I meant you and me. I was thinking how odd it is that I feel so close to you, so comfortable. Do you…" he trailed off.
Hermione nodded vigorously. "I do! I really do." She reassured him quickly.
"It's odd, right!"
"So odd."
"I actually thought maybe, in your world, we could have possibly been," Remus blushed and shrugged, "I don't know, an item or something."
Hermione giggled, "An item?"
"Or whatever you call it in the future! Going steady?" This only made Hermione laugh harder.
"Oh, shut it, witch!" Remus pushed lightly at her shoulder.
"No," Hermione shook her head, laughter still lacing her voice, "you- well the other you, was married, remember? And a professor when I was a third year! Quite the age gap."
An even bigger age gap than your, his? Whatever. Than HIS actual marriage. This Remus looked exactly as she imagined Professor Lupin would have looked in his youth, handsome and charming, there was no denying the difference in the two. Hermione could have never imagined herself joking and laughing with the other Remus in this way.
The other Remus, because this most now most definitely her Remus.
"Yes, I know that now, but I didn't know it before now!" Remus insisted.
"Got a bit of a crush on me, eh?" Hermione teased.
"Godric, no." Remus said quickly, shaking his head. "You're a bloody handful, you are. I'd lose my damn mind."
"Prat!" Hermione gasped in mock offense. "A wizard would be so lucky."
"To be sure." Remus winked and Hermione grinned at him.
A companionable silence settled upon the two and Hermione knew it couldn't last, however much she would've liked to just lay there on the forest floor for the rest of eternity.
"How did you find me?" She asked finally, fiddling with a strand of her hair.
Remus frowned for a moment, considering, and then sighed. "Minerva has a tracker on your wand."
Hermione's eyes narrowed and then widened. "That's why she kept my wand, that old crone!"
"Ha!" Remus guffawed.
"I haven't been on my game." Hermione admonished herself, "I should've known she was up to something. Why would she have needed to keep my wand? I knew it wasn't just that she was worried I'd hex Sirius."
We were too trusting. This McGonagall doesn't know us.
"To be fair, I certainly believed you were going to hex him at any moment in the beginning. But I don't think she did it because she didn't trust you, I think she knew you'd try to do this on your own." Remus placed a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder. "And she was completely right y'know. If she hadn't put a tracking charm on your wand then I never would have found you, you damn clever thing."
"Brightest witch of my age." Hermione reminded him.
"Well if I said it then it must be true." Remus grinned.
Hermione sighed and pushed herself off the ground, offering a hand to help Remus up. "We have to go back." It wasn't a question.
Remus took her hand and nodded. "We have to go back."