I don't own glee.
Chapter 5:
Back to Lima
This is not how she thought it would be; the whole gay panic thing. Sure, the anxiety, and even the fear is there in her, but she doesn't really remember the last time she felt this happy. She woke up in the morning surprisingly light-hearted and carefree. She kissed a girl (and yeah she liked it), but that was just a detail, what is more important is that she kissed Rachel. Quinn kissed the girl she is in love with and she is sure she had never experienced what she experienced when she was kissing Rachel in all the previous kisses she had combined.
They have so many things to talk about, but they obviously had no time as their flight to Lima was first thing in the morning. The glee club remains silent throughout the flight, a different mix of emotions, the prospect of going back to school though they are close to summer break, the whole leaving New York thing and of course the losing Nationals thing.
In the flight, every once and a while they exchange glances, but it is all they manage to do. After all they are Quinn and Rachel, anything more would be out of ordinary.
The plane lands, they are back to Ohio, back to their ordinary lives. Once again, Quinn can't help but notice that she is not as scared as she thought she would be. In fact all she wants as they are getting out of the plane is to hold Rachel's hand and never let go. But she can't, at least, not yet.
Judy is already there to pick her up at the school where the bus dropped them off. Before she leaves with her mother Quinn waves ever so slightly to Rachel who smiles shyly after hugging both her fathers, she tucks her hair behind her ear and mimics Quinn's action.
They will have time to talk. However all they have time for now are their beds.
"So? How was New York?"
Judy asks as soon as they enter in the house.
"Amazing!" Quinn smiles happily. "And guess what?" She takes off her hat.
"Oh my God! Honey you cut your hair?" Judy's jaw drops in surprise.
"Do you like it?"
"Honey you're beautiful anyway." Judy says and Quinn can't help but compare how Rachel says it in such a reverent way.
"Thanks."
And here she is thinking about Rachel again with a silly smile on her face.
"But I hope it grows back fast."
"What d'you mean?"
"This is just a…" She trails off. "What you teens says these days? I mean you guys were in New York and you felt a need to rebel a little." She smiles teasingly. "I know these things Quinn; I was your age once." She winks as she is trying to be 'cool'. Then Judy gets serious again. "But I think for your Prom Queen campaign it'll be better if your hair is long again."
"Yeah. I guess." Quinn says with no enthusiasm. She is certainly not going to run for Prom Queen this year. "I'm going to go to bed now okay?"
"Of course sweetie, go ahead."
In her bedroom she wastes no time throwing herself on her bed immediately; she has never been more grateful for that marvellous mattress of hers than now. And of course she falls asleep right away.
She opens her eyes and has that strange feeling that something is out of the ordinary. She gets out of the bed and goes downstairs; she was expecting to see her mother but Judy is nowhere to be found. She goes back upstairs, enters inside her mother's room but Judy isn't in there as either.
Back to her room she hears a loud noise coming from her closet. She frowns and gets close pressing her ear on the door so to check that she wasn't just hearing things. She hears it again and what's even weirder is that it seems as if someone is inside her closet.
"Don't bother with her. We need to talk."
Quinn lets out a scream as she sees the very familiar girl coming from her bathroom.
"What - what is going on?"
"Let me out!" Someone shouts from inside the closet.
"Who is in there?" Quinn asks, her eyes wide open.
"Nobody important. We need to talk."The girl turns to the door and raises her voice. "Alone."
"Please." The girl inside the closet whines. "You know I'm claustrophobic. Please let me out."
"Let her out now." Quinn demands. She knows very well what the girl is feeling as she is also claustrophobic.
"Are you sure you want her to come out?"
"God you are such a bitch, I hate you."Quinn says angrily.
"No you don't. You love me! You loved the power I provided you." The girl raises her voice, losing her adamant composure for a moment.
"Open the door." Quinn orders.
"Fine." With the key that is in her hand the girl opens the closet's door. "Get out loser."
A girl with pink hair comes out and Quinn is now totally dumbfounded. She looks at her blonde self, the one with the Cheerios uniform and the HBIC attitude, and then to her "pink" self, the one with the punk clothes. Now there are two? Great… Is she going crazy or something? Probably…
"Can we talk now that Lucy is out of the closet?"
"Bitch." Lucy says looking angry and just a little bit upset.
"Thanks." The Cheerio says with a smile on her face.
"Why did you lock her in there?" Quinn asks annoyed at her past self.
"Me? She locked herself in the closet."
"You said it was just for a moment! You said you were going to let me out!"
"Okay, this is insanity…" Quinn presses her hands on her face.
"Maybe. But we do have something to discuss."
"I'm not going back to the closet." Lucy says.
"Shut up!" The Cheerio says impatiently then she turns to Quinn again. "You can't be with Rachel."
"What?" Quinn says surprised.
"You can't date her."
"Says who?"
"Me, I just said that."
"Don't listen to her. Rachel is the best thing that ever happened to you. You know that. And I would spend eternity in that closet to keep her safe and happy…" She tugs her short and messy pink hair behind her ear. "But I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me anyway." Lucy says with a dreamy smile on her face.
"I think she does." Quinn says sweetly smiling reassuringly to the other girl.
"Enough you two, you make me sick." The blonde cheerio rolls her eyes annoyed at her two counterparts. "I have spoken. I hope you'll listen to me this time."
"That's not going to happen. I'm not giving up on Rachel. And you won't go back to the closet Lucy, never again."
"Can we put her in the closet?" Lucy asks hopefully.
"You should thank me. You were just a fat loser. Look at you now. Isn't it an improvement? Though this pink hair is hideous."
"Please let's put her inside."
"I think she is already in there herself." Lucy laughs but Quinn keeps talking. "No but seriously, she's a part of me too." Quinn starts shaking her head. "I must be going crazy or I'm definitely bi-polar or something, or maybe tri-polar? Or is that a thing? I should probably get that checked out..."
" Anyway…" She starts after she recollects herself.
"But she hates Rachel. She is horrible to her."
The Cheerio laughs sarcastically.
"She kept us away from Rachel." Lucy finishes.
"Listen here loser. You think you're the only one who cares about Rachel? Do you think I'm doing this because I hate her?" She gets close to the pink haired girl.
"Yes of course you are."
"No. I love her!" She almost growls, face to face to Lucy. "That's why I don't think you are ready for her!" She says to Quinn. "You guys might have forgotten but I haven't!" Her eyes fill with unshed tears. "Every single insult, every single name, everything we've done to hurt her…"
Lucy and Quinn become silent as they watch the Cheerio cracking in front of them.
"That was the past. I know I don't deserve her but Rachel is a very forgiving person."
"It's not that you don't deserve her. You're not ready for her. You're not ready for this. You will panic. You will regret it. You will be lash out!"
"I won't-"
"Don't!" The Cheerio cuts Quinn off, raising a hand up. "I know okay. But she deserves you at your best. I'm not saying that you can't ever date her. I'm just saying: not now. She needs you strong. You have to be everything that moron can't be. You'll have to be her rock. You are not ready now Quinn, and you going to hurt her. I can't let you hurt my Rachel…" She sighs sadly.
"No, we can do this. I know we can." Lucy whines as Quinn remains silent. "Please? Don't listen to her…"
"It's for the best." The Cheerio says with finality in her voice.
"She is just scared. She is scared about being kicking out. Judy won't do that. I know mom wouldn't do that."
"One year and we'll be out of this town. Rachel is going to New York. And in New York anything is possible."
"What am I going to say to Rachel?" Quinn says in a small voice.
"No…" Lucy starts crying.
The Cheerio gets close to Quinn and hands the key to her.
"I won't hide Lucy anymore."
"I know."
Quinn turns to Lucy.
"I really did a lot of awful things to Rachel. I'm not giving up. Let's just say that I'm going to try to woo her before we start anything. Okay?"
"Fine." Lucy nods ever so slightly.
"Quinn?" She hears her mother voice coming from behind her bedroom door.
"Quinn? Are you awake? Quinn? Quinn…"
Quinn…
"What?!"
She wakes up startled.
A dream.
It was a dream…
She sighs heavily.
Standing near the door is her smiling mother. Probably under the influence of alcohol, Quinn thinks as she rubs her eyes and sits up.
"I wanted to know if you were hungry. Sorry I didn't mean to wake you up."
"No, it's okay. And yeah, I'm a little bit hungry. I'll be downstairs in a minute."
"Okay."
Judy leaves the room as Quinn stretches and yawns.
And then she thinks about the dream she just had.
What she is going to do next? Is she ready to do this? Is she ready to have a relationship with a girl, Rachel none the less?
She is certainly not ready to be out and proud, because of the repercussions, especially at school, but above all, because of her mother. Because of her family and her absent father who would quickly become a very present father if he heard the news that his daughter was dating a girl. That she was dating the daughter of the two men that he despised and ordered Quinn away from.
Feeling suddenly very nauseous she gets out of bed.
After she takes a shower she looks for her phone inside her purse and when she finds it she sees she has a text from Rachel.
From Rachel: Is it too weird that I miss you already?
She smiles, barely containing her excitement over a single text. Although it isn't like a declaration of love or anything, Rachel just said that she misses her. She sends a text back and all thoughts of her family and school forgotten.
From Quinn: Well, then that makes both of us weird cause I miss you too.
From Rachel: Can I call you? Are you busy?
Quinn doesn't text back, instead she calls Rachel. She thinks what exactly is she doing after the dream or whatever it was she experienced, but before she can do anything Rachel picks up.
"Hello!" Rachel answers happily.
"Hello." Quinn laughs at the girl's antics.
"How are you, Quinn?"
"Wonderful. Especially now that I'm talking to you."
Wow! When did she get so corny? She shakes her head, although she really doesn't care, especially because of the sound of Rachel's giggle on the other side of the line.
"You're just saying that."
"I'm not."
"What are you doing now?"
"I just woke up. You?"
"I was filling my dads in with the details of our trip. The Berry family thrives on drama you know."
Quinn suddenly becomes quite pale. She wasn't prepared for parents knowing so soon; in fact she is certain she is not going to tell her mother about anything for a while. She doesn't know for sure if Judy would kick her out of the house. They are both trying to have a healthy mother and daughter relationship, but one thing she knows is having a gay daughter is certainly not something Judy Fabray desires at all.
Sensing Quinn's worries when the line turns silent Rachel starts again.
"I was filling my dads in with all the details minus the whole I kissed Quinn Fabray thing."
The blonde girl is amused, though she can't help but be relieved.
"I appreciate it Rachel, but I know that you tell your dads everything. You shouldn't hide anything from them because of me."
"It's not just because of you okay? And of course I'm going to tell them. I don't think it's the right time yet." She pauses. "I'm not hiding." Rachel sighs, part of the reason why she didn't tell her dads was Quinn, but part of it was because she wasn't ready yet. She is not afraid of what they will say. "I think… Anyway I'm sure they will be okay with it."
She is afraid that once she tells them there will be no turning back from it.
There is no denying that she has feelings for Quinn or that she is not as straight as she thought she was, and that changes things. Things she is not ready to deal with yet.
"What about Judy?" Rachel asks and hears Quinn sighing loudly.
"I'm not ready for that."
Sure, she meant Judy, but it was like both of them knew that she also was implying something else.
They are not in New York anymore.
"I mean, I'm not ready to tell my mom."
"It's okay."
They become silent once more and it gets really awkward, especially because if there's something really out of ordinary, it is a silent Rachel Berry.
"Are you regretting… uh, you know; that you kissed me?"
"No, of course not." Quinn says rather hurriedly.
"I just thought that when you said that you would never forget last night… I… I just thought that maybe that was you saying that it wouldn't happen again?"
The blonde takes a deep breath and prepares herself to open up to the brunette singer.
"Rachel, I spent so much of my time trying to run away from this, from you. I hated and loved the way you made, the way you make me feel. I really hope it happens again cause honestly? That kiss was the best kiss of my life."
"Which one?" Rachel asks playfully.
"Oh yeah. Right. Uh…" She trails off shyly. "I'll say the first one. Because it was the, the first."
"Aw, so sweet." Rachel teases. "I don't know. I'll choose the one in the elevator because it was a fantasy fulfilled."
"Really?"
Rachel giggles happily.
"I'm kidding I'd say our first kiss too. Because I would never have expected you to do that and I'm kind of a hopeless romantic..."
"Really? I hadn't noticed." Quinn says cynically.
"Haha. By the way, how do you know it was the best kiss of your life? We are still young, and even though I'm pretty sure the number of people willing to kiss you is very large, you're not that kind of girl. So, I don't think you're in any position to say I was the best kiss of your life."
"Rachel, I swear on all things bacon that it was the best. Don't forget that, okay?"
"Are you kidding me? I wish I could shout from the top of the highest mountain that I was Quinn Fabray's best kiss."
Rachel says happily, ignoring the comment about the pig carcass.
"Careful, you shouldn't be so modest or that kiss will be the last one and we won't go any further than this." She says with her husky voice. "Which is a shame; the standards are really low, regardless of Puck's reputation." She finishes nonchalantly.
Rachel chokes and once again the line becomes silent.
"What?" Quinn asks oblivious as to what she said.
"Do you think about us having… sex?"
Quinn freezes, finally realizing what she had just implied.
"I was just…" She stutters.
"You're blushing aren't you?"
"I…"
Rachel starts giggling and Quinn huffs petulantly.
"Don't worry. I'll make you forget Puckerman. And you definitely won't desire anyone else after I'm done with you... Boy or girl."
"Good Lord Berry! You can't say shit like that!"
"Why not? And you just sounded like Santana." Rachel laughs. "Speaking of macking, where's my lady kisses?"
"Come over to my place Britts and I show ya. Let's get our sexy times on in a very inappropriate place like the locker room showers." Quinn tries her best to impersonate Santana and it turns out pretty good.
"You caught them?!"
"Unfortunately."
"And?"
"And what?"
"You caught two girls having sex… What did you do?"
"I don't know if they were having sex, exactly."
God, was her bedroom always this hot? She is pretty sure the temperature has risen significantly.
"They were in the shower and there were noises and… I… I just got the hell out of there."
They both laugh, relishing in the moment, casual but yet so intimate.
Why couldn't they have a conversation like this before? It was like they were always surrounded by some kind of tension. Most of the time, it was sexual tension. Sexual tension that both of them tried to ignore or were too blind to see. And now that they kissed, the tension was gone. For good, they hope.
"Did you realize that we've been talking for ages now? I mean really talking not arguing…"
"I'm sorry I was such an idiot." She sighs, and then she remembers the dream. The other Quinn was right; she can't just pretend she hasn't done terrible things to Rachel.
"The past is in the past."
"No. I really owe you a proper apology."
"What you mean?"
"Can I see you? After dinner?"
"Uh… yeah."
"Okay. See you then. My mom must be wondering what I'm doing."
"Okay. I'll be waiting."
Dinner with Judy is nothing out of ordinary; after they eat they talk about nothing important as they wash the dishes together. Quinn tells her mother more details about the trip which causes the older Fabray to occasionally laugh as again she is perplexed with the stupid decisions the Finn had made.
When they're done, Quinn says to her mother that she is going to visit Santana because the girl is still very pissed off about the loss. That is true, but Santana is being comforted by another blonde, and Quinn is going to the house of another brunette.
When she presses the doorbell of the Berry house she freezes and panics. What is she thinking? She is Quinn Fabray. Rachel's dads probably hate her. She needs to leave, and she is about to when the door opens.
Quinn didn't know it yet, but she couldn't have been less fortunate when Leroy Berry is the one standing in the doorway.
"Hello." He says politely.
"Hello sir. I- I… is Rachel home?"
What? Of course she is home idiot! You just talked to her!
"That depends. Who are you?"
Leroy had a guess but he wanted to confirm his suspicions.
"Quinn…" She mumbles and it comes out indistinguishable.
"Sorry. You are?"
"I'm Quinn Fabray sir." She says in a very polite way, her posture rigid.
"I thought so. I recognize you from the pictures."
Quinn gets confused.
"I know why you are surprised but don't worry, the only reason there are pictures of you in this house is because Rachel is very fond of every moment she spends doing what she loves. We have photographs of her doing all kind of activities throughout the house. And you are in glee club too right? And that club is one of her passions."
God... that's Rachel's dad...
The blonde nods along with Leroy's ramble, still unsure about what to do.
"I… Can I talk to her?" She asks, by now she already noticed that he is not happy with the idea of her visiting his daughter. She is sure he is torn between the Berry politeness and his protectiveness toward his daughter. She can see that at the moment his fatherly instincts are winning as she is still standing outside.
"About what? The Kiss?"
She pales.
The kiss? But Rachel said…
"She told you about that?"
"Of course, she tells us everything."
"So she lied to me?" She feels like she is suffocating.
"I'm sorry I was under the impression that you and my daughter weren't friends. Why would Rachel lie to you about something we just talked about moments ago? What do you want here young lady?"
"Nothing." She says resentfully.
"So you better go then. The treatment you and your friends give to my daughter at school is horrible, and if I know Rachel she doesn't tell Hiram and I half of it. So I'm pretty sure she's suffered more humiliation than we know, but I won't tolerate any disrespect or bulling here in my house."
"You don't have to worry about that sir… I'll leave." She says with venom in her voice. She knows that her attitude won't help her, but she can't help it. This is one of those moments when Lucy hides inside the closet because bitch Quinn is about to do some damage. "Have you ever thought that maybe the reason why she doesn't tell you things is because she thinks you wouldn't care?" She says her HBIC posture in check.
"How dare you?!" His voice rose. "I think you are used to parents kicking their daughters out of the houses miss Fabray. But here in this home, we care about each other. We actually love each other! Does your father love you?"
"Dad!"
Rachel appears behind her father. Moments ago she was in her room waiting for Quinn and she was really excited when she heard the doorbell. And suddenly very insecure about her hair, so she went running to her bathroom to fix it, something that she really regrets now. Quinn turns around and starts walking toward her car. Clearly, this was a stupid idea.
"Quinn!" Rachel walks toward Quinn.
"Baby girl!" Leroy calls out.
"What's going on?" Hiram asks confused with the scene as he approaches his husband.
"Quinn!" Rachel shouts but the blonde is already inside the car. She turns the engine on and starts driving away.
Rachel huffs and goes back into her house.
"What was that Dad?" She shouts as she closes the door fiercely.
"Did you hear what she said to me?"
"So?" Rachel asks furious. "You were the adult!"
"That's…" He points a finger to her. "True…" He shrugs defeated.
"Okay I'm a little confused here. Wasn't that Quinn Fabray the pretty blonde cheerleader who we are supposed to hate?" Hiram asks half joking.
Rachel smiles at her Dad's tone but tries and fails at hiding it.
"No Daddy, she is my friend now. And Dad was extremely rude to her."
"How long has she been your friend?"
That's a good question…
Rachel gets lost in her thoughts.
"I think… after she slapped me… something changed that day." She says distractedly.
"She what?!"
Great…
Did she say it out loud?
"I can explain, Dad."
"No." He raises his hand. "I'm not going to forbid you from seeing her. I trust your judgment as I know Hiram and I raised you to be a good person, but she can't come here. She will have to earn our trust."
She looks at her taller father, but Hiram doesn't speak, so she knows she will have to agree.
"Okay." She nods.
"Let's see if this friendship lasts." Leroy states.
"I'm going to call her."
"Wait till she gets home sweetie. Remember about the cell phone and cars rule." Hiram interjects.
She rolls her eyes.
"Fine."
So, how was it? I'll try to update the next chapter soon it's just that i really think it's important that they are beta read.
Next: Finchel, you should've known, you read the first chapter. But hey, there will be Punk!Quinn.