Queen's Tradition

Chapter 11

Author's Note: Still do not own anything. This chapter I wanted to give some attention to our young budding romance. P.S. not sorry about the cliff hanger. Don't worry I won't let you all linger for too long ;)

Sam wasn't sure how long she had been resting, but she was having a difficult time quieting her mind. The past few day's events, her talk with Ephiny, her discussion with Mariska. All were weighting heavily on her. She quietly rose from next to Gabrielle and went to sit and think in the main living quarters. Stoking the fire, her mind wonders to what had occurred earlier in the day.

Ephiny had just left the bench they were sharing and was replaced with Mariska. She down next to Sam on her uninjured side and laid her head down on Sam's shoulder, grasping her hand. They sat like that for a little bit, staring out into the forest. Sam liked Mariska, she had for some time, she was pretty certain Mariska felt the same way about her. They spent most of their free time together, discussing what they wanted for their futures. They both enjoyed an open field near a stream where they would lay next to each other, shoulders and arms touching, talking about anything and everything. Both grew up with a great deal of expectations placed upon them. Sam being the Princess, Mariska being the daughter of the tribes honored and revered healer. Both basically had their futures laid out for them, and while they both accepted their respective paths even embracing them, it didn't stop them from discussing what they wished if they could have anything in the world.

"Sam I can actually feel you thinking, will you try to relax." Mariska said as she elbowed Sam.

"Huh…oh sorry, yeah I'm pondering a story the Queen shared with some of the younger kids yesterday. Something she said stuck with me. It's weird, she tells of how she knew from the time she was little that she wasn't meant to be who everyone wanted her to be. She said she knew she was different, that there was something else out there that she was meant to do, meant to become. But how did she know? How do I know that this is what I am supposed to do, that what everything everyone expects from me is my true path.?" Sam turns her head and looks at Mariska.

"It's a feeling deep down inside of you, like when you think of your future, what feelings does it evoke? Does it scare you, does it thrill you, do you feel peace, do you question it?"

"I don't fear the path before me, but I am scared of it. Scared I won't live up to the Queen's expectations." Mariska sits ups and turns herself to be able to look at Sam

"You have exceeded every expectation, every challenge so far, I know you thrive on being everything the Queen expects of you and more. It has driven you to who you are right now, so I don't think you are scared of not meeting the expectations of the Queen, what are you really scared of." Sam also sits up and looks at Mariska, thinking how does she get her, know her so well.

"I'm scared of letting you down, letting the Nation down. There are so many things I want for this Nation, and I'm scared I'm not good enough to accomplish them all. I'm scared I will make the wrong decision and the ramifications that will follow." How am I able to bare my soul, my deepest fears to her. She has a way with me, that also scares me. Sam looks down at her hands in her lap.

"You also scare me." Mariska reaches out to grab Sam's hands, pulling them up, she kisses them, then lifts her head so Sam will look at her. Mariska wants so badly to scream how much she loves Sam, and to take her and protect her, but more than that she needs to make Sam see herself from her vantage point.

"Sam, what you just said, how you said makes be believe, no know that you will be everything and so much more. The fact that your desires are for others, that you have thought this through is a good sign this is what you are supposed to do. And I understand exactly how you feel, I have to live up to a mother who is responsible for making sure our sisters don't die. She cares for us in ways that I don't think I am capable. She has this way of knowing what is best for all us, even when we don't. If I am half as good as she is, then maybe I won't fail anyone." Mariska is surprised at herself for sharing that, but there is something about Sam that makes her feel safe to share her deepest fears. She looks at Sam and sees a different look in Sam's eyes. They both speak no more, each caught up in some realization.

Sam takes a deep breath in.

"M, Do you remember a few days ago, in the field?" She feels Mariska nod her head.

"I'm not as scared anymore."

"Does it have anything to do with you calling the Queen mom?"

"Partly, but that is because I no longer see her as the Queen, I mean she still is, but now I feel like she is my mom. She always was, but you know how I felt about it. Like whatever I did was to make her notice me. But no, I'm not scared to fail, because as long as I lead with the nation's best interest at heart, to protect it, and that I would give my life for them, for you, then I can't fail. She was absolutely amazing out there. And not in her fighting skills, but in how she led from the front and how strong she is. Not just physically, but mentally. She saved me, you, this whole nation and the kicker is that she doesn't see any of it. She still views herself as being unworthy to be our Queen." Sam stands up and begins pacing.

"You saw her afterwards, how beaten she was, but she thinks herself still so unworthy that she rode in on a horse to address the nation and show to them that she is strong enough. I always saw her as unflappable, unable to be shaken, she is always so poised, and regal, but to learn she has insecurities just like you and I. It changes everything, I..I know that I can do this because if the person who I will always compare myself with, feels scared too, feels unworthy, then it is okay for me to feel this way. To have these thoughts. And she told me she was proud of me! And that I could be better than her! Can you believe that?" Sam throws both hands in the air, only realizing too late that what a bad idea that is. Grabbing her shoulder she drops to her knees. Mariska seeing before Sam what is about to happen, she jumps up and grabs Sam into her.

"Oh that was so not smart."

"Let me see if you opened up your stitches." Mariska goes to work checking Sam out

"I told you that this trip would be good for you both, you know I always believed in you. I see so much of the Queen in you. You have her heart" Mariska takes Sam hand in hers and places them both on Sam's heart.

"You have her sense of self sacrifice, her eyes" Mariska places her other hand on Sam's cheek looking deep into her Sam's soul

"And you have her modesty. Neither of you recognize your value to this nation, to me" Sam sees the same look on Mariska that she did that day in the field, she also sees tears in her eyes, and with that Sam leans forward and kisses Mariska, tentatively at first, but then it seems to intensify until it stops when both need air.

"And just to clarify, I do not value your mom the same as I value you" Both laugh and Mariska kisses Sam again.

While Mariska doesn't want to move from the very intimate position they are in, she sense that this is not comfortable to Sam and begins to led them both back to the bench. They both resume their earlier positions, Mariska's head on Sam's shoulder, holding hands.

"Sam, I am also no longer scared, when the battle was over and they called me over to treat the Queen, and I saw the General carrying you away, I wanted so badly to make sure you were okay, but then something sparked within me, and I needed to make sure the Queen was okay. And for those moments I was the healer, it wasn't my mother, but me. I just knew what needed to be done, and when the Queen stirred and couldn't find you and became agitated, I wasn't scared I knew it would happen and the General and I were able to handle things. I know I still have a lot to learn, but I felt it within me that I can do this, and that I am good at this. But your mom really doesn't think she is worthy of being Queen?"

"No, Ephiny said that for reasons no one understands, she still thinks of herself as that young princess all those years ago, when she had to use mother to challenge for the Queens mask. But if you could have seen her in action. She is the only reason that I survived."

"Tales of this adventure have gotten to everyone in the village, how you both made sure not a single Amazon life was lost, how you both protected us at great cost to yourselves. I didn't think it was possible for anyone to adore the Queen more, but I wouldn't be surprised if they built a statue of the Queen next to Artemis herself. You are both heroes. You were already my hero" Mariska kisses Sam on the cheek and stands up.

"You need to get back and get some rest, I can feel you getting tired. I also have word that you need to head to your mother's hut. You have been discharged there."
"Yeah, I figured, I overheard your mom discussing it, please don't say anything but my mom is having nightmares. I think they are about her not being able to save me, she won't talk with me about it, but when she wakes she has this need to make sure I am okay. And I would like to help keep an eye on her, plus their hut is a tad more comfortable than the bunk houses, and quieter." Sam stands, kisses Mariska on the lips, winks at her and strolls towards her mother's hut.