A/N: Hello my little opalescent tree sharks and thank you for continuing to take this beautiful journey with me. A journey through foul language and fanfic. Thank you for all your wonderful comments as they do sustain me. Also, someone in the comments over at AOC (who shall remain nameless) has figured out an important plot point that has yet to be explored and honestly bravo to you! I wont say exactly what it is, because that will really spoil things, but I was super impressed/ excited when I saw someone had already figured it out! Also all the chapter numbers are messed up and for that I apologize. I'll fix it one day.

oOo

"Merlin's beard, what's this then?"

Groggily Hermione rubbed her eyes, blinking a few times against the harsh hallway light that now flooded Remus' room.

"What time is it?" She asked through a yawn.

"Nine in the morning," Sirius replied a bit hotly Hermione thought.

NINE IN THE MORNING? Her own hypocrisy wasn't lost on Hermione considering just a few days ago she was banging on doors, waking up the boyos at 7am. Is this some sort of karmic justice?

Hermione was well-read enough to understand how the principle of karma worked and that this was indeed not karmic justice, but possibly Sirius justice. Much worse, in fact.

"Oi! What the fuck, mate?" Remus growled in a state of drowsy irritation. "Surely we deserve to sleep in?"

"Deserve to sleep in? Sleep in? Be honest then, how much sleeping have the two of you been up to?" Sirius demanded in what Hermione could only assume was meant to be nonchalant indifference but which actually read as petulance.

"What the absolute fuck?" Hermione echoed Remus' previous sentiment. Did I say that out loud? I am too tired for this utter shite.

"Yes," Remus hissed, pushing himself up. Hermione glanced approvingly at the work her dittany and magic had done; the werewolf was all but fully healed. "Yes, we're shagging, which is why we're both fully clothed. The wonders of modern magic."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

Is he being serious right now? Is this real life or am I trapped in a nightmare?

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" Hermione asked, growing more awake and irritated by the second. What the hell was all this about?

The wizard sneered. "Nothing, absolutely nothing. My knickers are certainly not in a twist. Two consenting and grown adults can do whatever the hell they please. I would just ask, during your dalliances, that you keep the bloody door closed."

Remus pursed his lips in annoyance. "Dalliances? Circe, you twat, you sound crazy. There are no dalliances-"

"Oh no, totally platonic to be spooning in bed together-"

"You and I have spooned-"

"TOTALLY PLATONIC." Sirius slammed the door.

Hermione sighed. "He's in a mood. What in all the hells is he even talking about?"

"Oh give it a few, it'll pass. Something must've happened at work."

"Does he really think we were-" Hermione hesitated, she could barely even think it let alone speak it aloud, "shagging?"

Remus was like her brother. Like Harry.

"Oh gods no," Remus replied, shaking his head. "If he really thought that then he wouldn't be yelling, he'd be brooding and drinking. Heavily."

"Why?" Hermione asked, her face twisting.

Remus stared at Hermione as though he truly could not believe that that one word had just come out of her mouth. "I'm not explaining this to you," he finally said.

Hermione was secretly glad he didn't because Sirius had been acting strange enough and saying bizarre things and honestly she didn't really need anything confirmed right now. She had her suspicions. He'd straight up told her things but inescapably logical Hermione Granger was uncharacteristically not believing what the evidence was making quite obvious.

The witch sighed. "Listen, for all you lot-"

"My lot?"

"Wizards! For all you lot-"

"Don't lump me in with them!"

"-like to go on about how complicated witches are, you're all rather ridiculous."

"That's a sweeping and unfair generalization!"

Hermione threw the covers off herself, muttering about teaspoons as she did.

A few moments later, Hermione and Remus, after a thorough inspection of his wounds, meandered down to the kitchen to find Sirius with a bag of crisps in hand.

She almost opened her mouth to scold Sirius on his not nutritionally sound breakfast choices but thought better of it.

"I need a cuppa," the witch muttered, pushing passed Sirius towards the stove. After pouring water into the kettle, she tapped the stove to get it boiling and then used her wand to twist her unruly curls into a bun atop her head.

"What's this about, then?" Remus asked, pulling out a chair at the table.

"NOTHING!" Sirius barked, crisps flying from his mouth.

Remus snorted. "Listen, be as angry as you want, that's fine, but you don't get to be a gobshite to me and Hermione just because you've had a bad day- err evening? At work."

Sirius shoved another handful of crisps in his mouth. "I'm fine."

Hermione guffawed and Remus raised one very condescending eyebrow.

Sirius glared.

"Oh right, because people who are fine irrationally yell at their friends and shove crisps in their mouth at 9am," Hermione pointed out as she accio'd a tea bag from the cupboard.

"I'm not being irrational!" Again crisps were everywhere.

"Then what would you call...this," Hermione asked, gesturing at all of Sirius.

"This!" Sirius began, shoving a finger into his own chest. "Is someone not being irrational. THIS! Is a wizard who is being rational and yes! I do realize that the volume of my voice is effecting how rational I sound but I assure you I am toTALLY RATIONAL."

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. "So are you going to tell us what happened tonight, then?"

"No," Sirius muttered through crisps."Or at least," he sighed, "not yet."

Remus and Hermione exchanged glances.

"What about you two?" Sirius asked, obviously eager to change the subject. "Seems things went a bit south intercepting Yaxley and Dolohov?"

Shame flooded Hermione. She turned toward the stove to pour the boiling water into her cup, pointedly not looking over at the wizards.

"You could say that," Remus agreed. Hermione's shoulders tensed, but there was no anger in his voice. She almost would have preferred it if there were.

You could say that things went south in that I mucked everything up and nearly got Remus killed. The witch turned around, but looked down at the floor while blowing on the hot liquid in her cup.

"So," Sirius began slowly, looking between Remus and Hermione, "what happened?"

Remus rested his head against his hand, slumping into the table. "Well, it began with me having to spend the most uncomfortable two hours of my life with Gideon Prewett."

"What about that time when we-"

"Shut your mouth, Padfoot!"

Well, that sounds like a fun story for later.

"I am sorry you ended up with him," Hermione apologized, pulling out a seat beside Remus at the table.

"I'll learn to forgive you one day."

"How good of you."

"Alright, so two hours of nothing- wait," Sirius narrowed his eyes suddenly, "you two split up?"

Hermione nodded. "Fabian insisted that he and I be paired together. We were in the front of the manor, Gideon and Remus were in the back."

"Why the fuck," Sirius growled, "did Fabian insist on that?"

Remus shrugged. Hermione bit her lip, remembering her conversation with Fabian last night.

Was that really just a few hours ago? Godric.

"He doesn't trust me," Hermione stated.

"He doesn't need to trust to you." Sirius was fuming and Hermione wasn't quite sure why, seemed a bit over dramatic if she was being honest. Though to be fair, drama is just part of Sirius' M.O.

There seemed to be more history between the two wizards, Fabian and Sirius, than Hermione had yet to be privy to.

"No, he doesn't," Hermione agreed. "But keep your friends close and your enemies closer as they say."

Sirius sighed grumpily. "So two hours of delightful conversation with the enigmatic Prewett brothers and then- what?"

Hermione could feel Remus' eyes wander to her face now tinged pink with shame. She did not look at him.

"I mucked it all up, that's what," she admitted, voice ringing with self-pity. Mucked it up is putting it lightly, Granger. We royally fucked it up. No horcrux, no Dolohov, Gideon and Remus nearly killed. When did we start making such poor decisions? Our job is to keep them out of trouble, not get them in it.

"I don't think that's fair, love," Remus comforted her, unwilling to receive it as she was. "Gideon and I did a fabulous job of not incapacitating any Death Eaters and, in fact, if I'm remembering correctly, it was your curse what saved us from Greyback."

"Grayback was there? Shite." Sirius frowned.

"Shite indeed," Remus nodded, "or, at least, that's what our little witch told Greyback to eat."

Sirius' eyes bulged from his head and Hermione groaned.

What is this new found penchant for antagonizing dangerous wizards?

"You told Fenrir Greyback to eat shite?" Sirius almost laughed.

"And die," Hermione added.

"You told Fenrir Greyback to eat shite and die?" Now Sirius did laugh. "Merlin's beard you're a brave little witch."

"Definitely a Gryffindor." Remus smirked.

"Definitely!" Sirius agreed.

"Alright, alright!" Hermione interjected, though she couldn't deny the small swelling of pride slowly replacing embarrassment.

Fuck yea we told him to eat shite and die and next time he will.

"I'm just- I think I just became your biggest fan, Hermione." Sirius grinned, taking a seat at the table finally.

Hermione's stomach did a little flutter at the thought. Sirius did have quite the smile, all toothy and reckless. Not like Remus, who kept his smiles small and almost secretive. Sirius' feelings were always life sized.

"So Dolohov, Yaxley and Greyback. Fucks sake, no wonder you didn't get the horcrux."

Hermione's mouth tightened into a straight line. "Yes well, we had them out numbered but unfortunately Gideon took a bad hit from Dolohov and needed to be apparated away quickly. After that Remus and I, we were uh- outnumbered and Remus made the right call to apparate away."

"You didn't seem to think it was the right call at the time," Remus pointed out softly.

Hermione chewed on the inside of her cheek. "No," she agreed, "no I was being stupid. I thought-" the witch shrugged lamely, "I wanted Dolohov. I wanted-" she hesitated, "to hurt kill him even. I wanted him to suffer." She spoke quietly, voice shaking a bit.

Remus blinked slowly, his face unreadable. "Have you- have you killed anyone before."

Had she killed anyone before? She was a child soldier. She was a huntress of dark wizards and witches. She was a survivor.

Hermione's voice did not waver as she said, "Yes."

"Why such vitriol?" Sirius asked, changing the subject. "You're not one from whom I would expect murderous intent."

Hermione turned her gaze past Sirius, to the wall behind him. "He killed him, he killed-" she took a deep fortifying breath, "he killed Professor Lupin."

"Remus?" Sirius asked with obvious confusion.

Hermione nodded.

"Damn," Sirius breathed, "Professor Lupin. I still can't believe they trusted you with children."

"Oh do shut up," Remus muttered. "I am very trustworthy."

"Best dark arts professor I ever had," Hermione agreed with an almost smile.

"Ha!" Remus exclaimed triumphantly. "See there! And Hermione's brilliant, I probably taught her everything she knows."

Sirius snorted. Remus kicked him under the table.

"Ow! Wanker!"

"Boys, please," Hermione sighed in mock exasperation.

"He started it!" The two said in tandem.

"Did not!" They both replied.

And Hermione, despite herself, let out a soft chuckle, the tension that had encased her muscles slowly releasing. She hadn't even realized how tightly wound her shoulders had become throughout the course of the conversation but then, isn't that how stress worked? One tends to not even realize they're tense, as that simply becomes the status quo, until one begins to relax and here Hermione was, relaxing.

What an odd turn of events for her life.

Deep inside her chest was a dull ache in the exact size and shape of a messy haired bespeckled wizard and a ginger witch, but she pushed that ache down. If nothing else, Hermione was quite adept at compartmentalizing; an unfortunate, but useful side effect of war.

"Alright!" Sirius said suddenly. "So no horcrux, Gideon is injured and now Yaxley, Dolohov and Greyback have all seen Hermione, which I can't possibly imagine is good. The last thing we need is Death Eaters trying to figure out who she is."

Remus nodded. "Sums it all up quite neatly, but actually-" Remus turned to Hermione and frowned, "Greyback, the things he said, it sounded like he already knew you. But, how could he?"

Hermione sucked in a breath and then let it go. Well, this won't end well.

If there was one thing she had learned about the Marauders was that they were terribly over protective.

"Yes well, I've already had a run in with- ah, with this reality's Greyback."

Both wizards stared. Remus blinked slowly one time and then, "What the literal fuck are you talking about. A run in? A RUN IN with Fenrir Greyback?"

"Explain," Sirius demanded. Leaning forward, he placed both elbows on the table and looked at Hermione with the sort of intensity one cannot ignore.

The witch sighed. "Y'know it's actually not that big a-"

"Explain," Remus cut in.

So Hermione began the tale of her dangerous, but in the end successful adventure in retrieving the locket, cringing when she reached the part of her story in which Greyback chased her through the woods. She had been avoiding this conversation for over two weeks now, but that hadn't stopped Remus from badgering her about it.

The truth must come out eventually, I suppose.

"Hold on," Sirius stopped her. "I'm sorry, you -being injured and unable to apparate- taunted Fenrir Greyback and threw a stinging hex at his face?"

Remus groaned, face in his hands.

"Biggest fan," Sirius grinned.

"Well what was I supposed to do? I couldn't very well outrun a sodding werewolf." Hermione crossed her arms over her chest defensively.

"You," Remus began angrily, "were supposed to not go out on your own!"

"That's true," Sirius nodded sagely.

"Ugh! I have been reprimanded enough for this!"

"No!" Remus exclaimed. "Never enough."

That's fair, I suppose.

"Fiiine," Hermione sighed. "But anyway, you two know the rest."

"Remus, how did you figure Greyback had already met our curly haired harpy?" Sirius asked, scratching his stubble.

Remus sucked at the inside of his cheek for a moment. "He said he was happy to see her again and- actually, this was quite odd- he smelled the air like her scent was familiar."

"That is odd," Sirius agreed.

"Well, he is a werewolf," Hermione pointed out, "aren't scents quite powerful for werewolves even when when the moon's not full?"

Remus nodded. "Yes, well, I mean, yes they are, but-" the wizard shifted for a moment in obvious discomfort. He didn't continue.

Hermione's eyebrows lowered. "But..?"

"But your scent is uhh," Remus scratched behind his ear, "well, it's different."

"Different?"

"Different."

"Different how?"

"I can't- I can't really explain it, it's not quite something I've come across before," Remus was staring at the table, "but basically your scent is, well it's rather intoxicating actually."

"I've never smelled anything like you before." Fenrir's words echoed through her head.

"That's a bit creepy, mate," Sirius teased.

"I know! Hence why I have yet to bring it up! Because I sound sodding creepy."

"I wonder," Hermione began,"if it's a byproduct of reality hopping."

"How so?" Sirius asked.

"Well, Greyback, who is much creepier than you by the way, Remus-"

"Thank Merlin for that."

"He commented when I fought him outside Gaunt Shack-"

"Is that what that place was called? Awful name for an awful place." Sirius shivered.

"He said that I smelled good but that my magic smelled better. I've been around him and other werewolves in my own timeline and obviously I knew the Remus of my timeline as well and I feel like if my scent was so strong someone would have commented on it by now."

"He's right, now that I stop to think about it," Remus said. "You magic does have a distinct smell in a way I'm not sure anyone else's does.

"Let's test the hypothesis then. Sirius," Hermione turned to the ebony haired wizard, "cast an accio, summon-" she grabbed the bag of crisps from his hand and put it in the middle of the table. "These, summon these."

"Hey!" the wizard protested.

"This is for science, Sirius!" she insisted. "Now, summon the crisps so Remus can smell your magic.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "This is some kinky shite right here. I've got something else you can sme-"

"Godric's sake!" Hermione blushed, deeply. "Just do it," she huffed.

"Alright, if my lady insists." Sirius wiggled his eyebrows and Hermione could feel the heat continue to bloom across her face.

Wanker.

"Accio crisps!" The bag flew into Sirius' hand. The two turned to Remus expectantly.

The werewolf shrugged. "Everyone has a magical signature, but there's nothing particularly strong or interesting about Sirius'."

Interesting.

"Hey!" Sirius protested. "I am both strong and interesting!"

"Of course you are, mate." Remus chuckled.

"My turn, then." Hermione pulled her wand from where she had it twisted in her hair, letting her curls free of their encasement. "Accio crisps!"

The bag flew out of Sirius' hand into hers.

Remus inhaled deeply through his nose. "Yea umm, yea. That's definitely different."

"Different how?" Hermione asked, beginning a page in her mental notebook.

"Uhh well, hard to describe honestly, but I suppose- I suppose it's a sort of high. It's," Remus looked down, a noticeable pink dusting his nose, "it's enjoyable."

Well this has headed straight into Awkward Town.

"Are you saying my scent isn't enjoyable, Moony Poo?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Wounded! I'm wounded!"

"You'll survive."

"Doubtful."

"So then," Hermione interrupted their banter, "it must have something to do with falling through space and time."

"But how?" Sirius asked.

"Isn't that the question though? As it stands, I'm not sure how I even got here to begin with, I just woke up on the floor in a Ministry and bam! Alternate timeline! So we're not necessarily dealing with any known magics or laws of physics here. This whole adventure is uncharted territory."

"Well, but time travel is possible, at least in the wizarding world," Remus pointed out.

"True," Hermione agreed, "but we're talking hours not decades and even then, my being here has confirmed -unless I'm just completely insane and trapped in my own delusions- the existence of the multiverse, of parallel dimensions. We are talking about Earth shattering revelations, the complete upheaval of the universe as we know it, the Laws of Physics suddenly rendered meaningless-"

"What are the Laws of Physics?" Sirius whispered to Remus.

"I just don't have the time in my life to explain them to you."

"Rude," Sirius huffed.

"I feel as though the importance of all this is lost on the two of you."

Remus shrugged. "I had to suspend my disbelief when you first popped into our lives so at this point I'm pretty much over it."

"Hmph," Hermione huffed. "That's the problem with those of you raised in the wizarding community, you lose your sense of wonder."

"I have a sense of wonder!" Sirius exclaimed indigently but there was a teasing glint in his eye that for a moment made Hermione stop and marvel at his ability to waver between emotions. One moment sullen and cranky, refusing to even explain what had transpired to so taint his mood and then suddenly like the proverbially snapping of a finger, he's all broad smiles and jokes.

He would've made the worst Slytherin. Truly one of Godric's.

"Glad to see you're spirits have perked up," Remus commented, mirroring Hermione's thoughts.

"Yea well," Sirius cast his grey gaze to the side for a moment before turning back to his friends. "I'm-I'm sorry about that, you're right, I was being a gobshite."

Hermione and Remus both voiced their agreement, but forgave him nonetheless.

Remus reached over and grabbed Hermione's tea.

Hey!" she protested, but didn't attempt to yank her drink back lest the precious liquid spill.

"Are you ready to talk about what happened last night?" Remus asked, ignoring Hermione completely.

"That's mine!" the witch huffed, gesticulating at said tea.

"I do believe you owe me, sweet little witch," Remus' voice was saccharine. Hermione scowled.

"I healed you, didn't I?"

"Oh my shoulder!" Remus suddenly exclaimed, grabbing his shoulder is exaggerated pain. "Oh the pain! I'm not sure I can even lift this cup! How shall I ever recover!"

Hermione's amber orbs narrowed to slits. "You absolute prat. Fine," she waved a hand dismissively. "Keep the tea."

Remus' smile was broad and toothy.

Sirius gave a full belly laugh and the sound of it warmed Hermione, erasing any last traces of annoyance she felt at either of the wizards and soon they were all laughing. This is how it used to be with Ron and Harry, how it should have been with Ron and Harry.

I never should have gotten together with Ron. It was all wrong and it ruined everything.

"I'm not ready to talk about it," Sirius finally answered Remus' earlier question once the laughter had died down to a low chuckle. "But Al and Kingsley both told me I need a night off before I can go back and finish this case, to relax they said. So I think we-" he motioned to the three of them "-deserve to go out and have a good time today."

"Go out?" Hermione asked, not entirely convinced.

"The last time the two of us went out to get Hermione some clothes you were angry at us for days," Remus pointed out.

"True, but you didn't tell me where you were going or what you were doing and then you had drinks with the sodding Prewetts AND that was weeks ago before we knew Hermione as well. I just think we all deserve some- some ice cream or something."

"But there's so much more to explore!" Hermione protested. "Does my magical scent change with the power of the spells? Does yours? Can other magical creatures smell my magical signature and how does it effect them differently and what about-"

"Ice cream," Remus cut in. "I do need ice cream.