That Illegal Kiss... – Chapter 12/Legal Proceedings –

[Well guys it's time for chapter 12! I hope you are all looking forward to this! I've been trying to think of a good way to end the silence between Amu and Ikuto and I hope that this meets all of your expectations. I am putting in some of my past experiences so that it is more authentic. Just want to thank you all for continuing to follow and fave and of course your awesome reviews :P I do not own Shugo Chara! or the characters, I only own this storyline ;) xx]

MASSIVE APOLOGIES EVERYONE! - THE ONLY WAY THAT I AM ABLE TO UPLOAD ANYTHING NOW IS VIA THE LIBRARY AND I HAVE BEEN BUSY WITH PERSONAL ISSUES THAT HAVE BEEN HAPPENING. I REALLY DO APOLOGISE FOR THE LATENESS IN MY UPLOADS BUT IT HAS NOT BEEN A GOOD START TO THIS NEW YEAR FOR ME AND MY FAMILY .
I WILL TRY TO MAKE IT EVERY FRIDAY AGAIN BUT DON'T GET ANGRY IF ITS LATE AGAIN :'(

ONE WEEK LATER

Amu's POV

I hung up my phone as I stared at my bedroom door. My eyes were sore from the crying I had done last night, I had just received a phone call from Easter to confirm that my CD was currently going through public analysis to determine if it should go on sale in the stores or not. I lay back on my bed as my phone buzzed, I groaned slightly as I forced myself to sit up and look at my phone. 'One new message' I sighed as I unlocked my phone and saw a message from Kukai.

'Meet me downstairs, we have some serious things to talk about. Lots of love, Kukai xx'

I stood up slowly straightening out my dress as I made my way downstairs. I was currently home alone due to my parents going on holiday with Ami to visit some relatives. I opened the door to see Kukai standing on sidewalk.

'We need to talk...' He took a step towards my door but I put my right hand out to stop him from coming closer. 'Don't come any closer...what you have to say can be said from there...' I said weakly as he sighed. 'I'm starting to worry about you more and more Amu. You're not returning my phone calls and your Skype status is really worrying.' I kept my left hand behind my front door as I leant against the banister of the door.

'What's wrong with my Skype status?' I asked as he ran a hand through his hair casually. 'Well let's see...it reads something like 'Death is starting to seem like a better reality...seriously not sure I can go on'!? What the hell is going on with you Amu!?' He yelled causing me to flinch, I looked up at him. 'Just leave me alone Kukai...' I slowly shut and double locked the door on him before making my way back up to my room.

My phone began to ring, I glanced at it and began to cry. Incoming call...Kukai Souma I pressed decline then muted my phone to give me that peace and quiet back. I couldn't let my best friend know that I was crying myself to sleep every night and that I had begun self harming...I loved him like a brother but I was not in the mood for listening to peoples lectures anymore. I had been getting it from my family and, of course, Easter. I didn't need it from him as well, he was lucky to be a male and a minor role in the company...Every time I messed up I got physical and verbal abuse. The only way I felt that I could deal with it was to begin self harming, I didn't like it...I knew I shouldn't be doing it but I felt that I would go insane if I left the pain that someone else had inflicted upon me. I grabbed my pillow and began to cry into it.

I looked at my laptop and decided to see what was happening in the music world, after blowing my nose into a tissue I grabbed it and sat back down on my bed. As I opened up my web browser I clicked on my MTV News tab and felt a lump form in my throat, there was a picture of me and Kukai from my dance performance, the title read 'Easters newest stars – Happy or Terrified?' I felt like my whole world was crashing around me, I began to read the story and was shocked to read about how Utau and Kukai were speaking up against Easter, the story had gone up just 5 minutes ago. I knew that they weren't going to be happy about it and might go to extreme measures to keep me quiet.

I jumped off of my bed to my desk and picked up my phone '41 missed calls' I unlocked my phone to see that Easter had tried to call me 30 times, Kukai was the other 11. I began shaking as my phone began to ring again. Incoming call ... Easter; I refused to answer the call and gently set my phone down on my desk, my anxiety began to set in as I picked up my small sewing scissors and slowly unravelled the bandage from around my left wrist. My tears built up as I felt I couldn't handle it anymore when my phone began flashing again Incoming call... Utau Hoshina I took in a deep breath as I answered the phone.

'Hello...'

'Amu...Kukai has just come round fuming and crying, what the hell is going on!?' I flinched as I heard Utau's frustrated voice.

'Who else is with you?' I asked quickly in a shaky voice as I felt more tears surfacing.

'Kukai at the moment, I'm in my room. Why?' She asked calming down after hearing my voice.

'Can you come over? Alone? I need a girl to talk to...' I began silently sobbing as I put my scissors down. 'I'm not sure I can take this anymore Utau...I'm going insane!' I sobbed out as I heard her tell Kukai that she was coming over before hearing her rushing down the stairs.

'I understand. Don't do anything until I get there!' She replied as I heard her struggle to get her shoes on.

'Utau, could you stay on the phone? I'm feeling a little freaked right now...' I asked as I began to try and wipe the nonstop flow of tears away.

'Of course I can Amu. Just stay calm, I'll be there in less than a minute, I want you to go downstairs and wait for me.' She left her house and I could hear her running up to my house as I left my room and went down to the front door. 'Ok I'm outside.'

Beep beep beep

I opened the door and hugged Utau tightly after she shut and locked the door behind her, I began sobbing into her shoulder as she gently stroked my hair. 'Shhhh...I know, I'm here now Amu.' I heard her whisper gently into my ear as I continued to sob. 'I just can't handle it anymore...I thought I could...but I just can't!' She kept a tight hold on me and waited for my sobs to calm down before I pulled away from her.

When she looked at me her gaze went instantly to my wrist, I could see the shock in her eyes as I tried to awkwardly hide it, I was too late. She grabbed my arm and looked down at my wrist. 'Amu...Please tell me that you haven't...' I looked away and heard her sigh. 'We need to clean your wounds out, they're going to become infected...' she dragged me into the kitchen after kicking her shoes off and began to wash out my wounds.

I winced as the water hit my wrist and tried to wrench my arm away from her but she kept it under the running water. 'Amu, you should've called me sooner.' She put some antiseptic gel over the wounds before dressing them properly and wrapping a clean bandage around it. I sighed in relief once she finished. 'How long have you been doing this Amu?' I walked towards the stairs and sat down. 'A little over a week...maybe 2 or 3 weeks...' She sighed and followed me, she looked towards my front door before grabbing my arm gently. 'We're going to your room...I don't want to be here while we talk about this.'

I looked up at her and realised what she was suggesting, we both made our way up to my bedroom and secured the door behind us. 'If we keep the light off and the curtains shut then we shouldn't have a problem.' I sat down on the bed while Utau done her magic, when she was finished she sat down next to me and put a hand over mine. 'Amu why are you pushing yourself to do this, Ikuto is going crazy not talking to you. I don't think he will be very happy when he finds out-' I felt the rush of depression wash over me once more and tears began to fall from my eyes. 'Please Utau just stop! I don't...no I can't hear his name. He abandoned me when I needed him the most...he didn't chase after me...I had fallen in love with him and he crushed my heart...' I felt as if my body was collapsing within itself as the tears got worse, Utau sat there silently staring at me.

'I'm sorry Amu, but you don't know what he is going through trying to get you out of Easter. He knows that they've been beating you. We're bringing them down from the inside Amu. They won't be able to hurt you anymore.' I was listening carefully to Utau but was feeling insecure as the anxiety came back and I felt as if we were being watched, Utau reached out to touch my arm and I jumped, scaring her slightly.

'Amu, what's wrong?' I was looking everywhere trying to figure out if there was a camera in my room or if it was just my imagination. 'There...There's someone watching...' Utau looked around the room with me and sighed as she hugged me and stroked my hair gently. 'Do you want to stay at my house tonight Amu? I can ask Ikuto to leave you alone. I know that you are working yourself up to a bad state.' Utau asked in a gentle tone, I shook my head as she let me go. 'I can't go in that house...not where he lives...have to stay here...'

Utau's POV

I looked at the girl in front of me and felt a ball of anger expanding within my stomach, I wasn't angry at Amu. I'd been in the same position as her when I first started working with Easter. I knew that they were going to run her over the edge because she wasn't getting the support that she needed, Amu was losing every part of who she was because of them. As I really looked at her I could see that the damage done to her looked almost irreversible, her eyes looked empty, her skin extremely pale, she had dark under eye circles and she had lost weight. Amu was slowly wasting away, she wasn't anything compared to how she used to be.

'Amu, listen to me very carefully. I'm going to ask Kukai to come up here so we can take you to his house for a sleepover ok?' I was hoping that this would help, if she would accept Kukai up here at least there might still be time. 'Ok...but we stay here...can't leave...' I sighed as she stared at her door. I got my phone out of my pocket and stopped the recording, I sighed as I got Kukai's contact up and dialled.

Ring ring, ring ring.

'Is she ok?' I was shocked to hear Ikuto's voice answer the phone.

'Put Kukai on.' I heard him grunt as the phone was being handled.

'What's up?' Kukai sounded worried but better than Ikuto.

'I need you here now. It's worse than I thought.' I said as I looked over at Amu who was still staring at the door blankly.

'Can't leave...can't leave...never leave...' I bit the inside of my mouth as I heard Kukai's end go silent.

I got up from the bed after stroking Amu's hair and stood by the balcony door, I peeked out from the curtain to see that the road outside was clear. 'She convinced someone is watching. Kukai, she doesn't look anything like I remember, I'm really worried.' I tried to keep my voice under control as my emotions began to play up.

'Ikuto wants to come too, he is going crazy here.' Kukai replied, I bit the inside of my mouth and looked back at Amu, my heart was squeezing as I thought about how Ikuto would react to seeing her this way.

'It's better if he doesn't come with you. It would just make things worse.' I heard Kukai relay the message then I could hear Ikuto's voice.

'I'm coming too Utau. If she is anything like you were then she is going to need me.' I sighed as I shut the curtain fully once more and looked back at Amu, she did need him but she was right, he left her when she needed him most.

'Ikuto, I know that she needs you. But we can't just throw her in the deep end again. You left her...she is broken because you haven't been here for her. I know it's difficult to hear this, especially from me but you are going to have to wait a little longer.' I heard him punching and kicking things and rolled my eyes.

'I left her to stop her from getting hurt!' He shouted, Amu's gaze instantly shot towards me.

'No...No! Not him...not him! Get the voice out of my head!' she began crying and banging her head against the wall.

'Shit! Amu! Stop doing that! You're going to hurt yourself!' I put the phone on Amu's small desk and hugged her to my chest to stop her from hurting herself further. 'Amu...shhh...its ok. Come on calm down for me. It's just me and you here, no one else ok?' Her cries slowly died down and she stopped rocking. I kissed the top of her head gently before getting back up and grabbing my phone. 'Are you a fucking idiot or what!? She just had a meltdown hearing your voice!' I shouted down the phone at Ikuto.

'I...Is she ok?' I could hear that he was in pain after hearing Amu react the way she did. 'I...I didn't mean to make her hurt herself like that...I just need to see her...it's been too long and I don't know if she is truly safe or not...' I could hear Ikuto sniffling slightly.

'I'll be up in a minute Utau, we need to help Amu quickly. She needs Ikuto just as much as he needs her.' I was relieved when Kukai took control again.

'I know, we'll get this sorted. I'll see you soon ok?' I replied as Amu stared at the wall where she had just been banging her head.

'Sure, just make sure you let me in.' I could hear his grin through the phone and felt more at ease.

'Text me when you are outside.' I smiled as I hung up the phone.

Amu put a hand up to wall and the other to the back of her head before slowly turning her attention to me. 'Utau...I heard him...' She sounded weak as tears filled her eyes once more. 'He was on the phone Amu. Not in your head, he is worried about you.' I sat down next to her as she leant her head on my shoulder.

'He's worried? Why...' She asked as I stroked her hair gently. 'Because he still loves you Amu, he wants to see you and make sure you are ok.' She stiffened against me. 'Don't worry he isn't coming up, only Kukai is. We want to help you get better before you see him again ok?' I smiled gently as I felt her body relax.

I got the text from Kukai confirming that he was outside the house and needed to be let in. 'We're going to go downstairs and let Kukai in now ok?' Amu nodded as we both stood up, I led her downstairs as she gripped my hand tightly. I opened the door and Kukai rushed in shutting the door behind him.

'What's got you in a rush?' I asked him as Amu stood behind me. 'I know what Amu's been going through more than anyone Utau. I just need to see her happy and smiling again.' He took his shoes off before walking towards us. I switched positions with Amu as she let go of my hand, Kukai stopped in front of her and hugged her tightly, Amu didn't respond but I could tell that Kukai was trying his best to show her how much he cared.

'I'm sorry Amu...I know things have been difficult for you. Me and Utau will look after you ok?' Amu didn't respond once more and I came down the stairs to stand next to Kukai. 'Amu, I have got one question for you. When was the last time you had food?' She looked at me over Kukai's shoulder.

'A few days ago...' Kukai stopped hugging her and looked over at me. 'You need to eat Amu. I'm going to cook dinner ok? Go in the sitting room with Kukai.' She nodded slowly before taking Kukai's hand and leading him in to the sitting room.

I got started on dinner for the three of us. Truth being told me, Kukai and Ikuto had eaten a little over an hour ago, but I knew she wouldn't eat alone. I could hear Kukai talking to Amu, she was replying but it was difficult to hear what she was saying, Kukai loved Amu. I knew that and so did Ikuto, I was surprised how he was treating her as a sister that he hadn't seen in years rather than the girl he had loved dearly for years. It broke my heart to think that he would never love me as much as he loved Amu but I knew that was because he knew Amu for a longer period of time than me.

I smiled slightly as I thought about the first time me and Kukai kissed, it was at Easter. He was waiting for Amu to come out from the girls' room and I had bumped into him after my recording session, he gripped onto my waist and grinned at me. I couldn't help but blush at his grin, he held me close to him and quickly pressed our lips together as we could hear my babysitters coming, yes Kukai and Amu got me calling them that too, I could've kissed him for hours but he pulled away as he heard the footsteps getting closer and leaned against the wall casually. I had to leave after that but I could still feel the tingly feeling of our lips touching on mine. I sighed as I finished up our ramen and took it over to the dinner table.

'Ok you two, dinner is ready.' I looked over at them to see Amu staring at the blank TV and Kukai had tears in his eyes as he looked up at me. 'She doesn't remember...she doesn't remember the fun times we had at school...our dance performance...she can only remember the negative things Utau.' I put the tray down on the table and made my way over to Amu.

'Amu, what do you remember about Kukai?' I asked her in a gentle tone. 'Hurt...pain...fighting...' I sighed as I put a hand on her cheek. 'Don't you remember singing with Kukai at the end of your dance performance?' she shook her head slowly. 'We...we didn't do a dance performance...we work for Easter...we don't go to school...'

THE NEXT MORNING

Kukai's POV

I woke up on Amu's sofa, she continued to leave her house last night so we all ended up sleeping here. I sat up with a large yawn and looked over at my phone which was flashing, I grunted as I picked it up to see who was calling Incoming call...Tsukiyomi.

'What do you want so early Tsukiyomi?' I groaned as I lay back down on the sofa.

'How is she doing?' Ikuto sounded exhausted, I sat up and turned to have a proper seat on the sofa, I put a hand over my face as if it would wipe the sleepiness out of my body.

'I've only just woken up so I don't know. Utau slept with her last night, I slept downstairs.' I replied I heard his small mumbles of frustration.

'I've tried calling Utau, she hasn't answered any of my calls.' I slumped back as I looked up at the clock 12:30 it was odd for Utau not to be up already.

I looked over to the doorway and jumped up as I saw Amu staring at me. 'Fuck! Amu! Don't scare me like that!' I stood up and walked over to her but paused when I saw her hand dripping with blood. 'Amu...what did you do?' I asked her carefully as she continued to stare at me.

'Pain...pain makes everything disappear...' Her voice sounded weak and twisted, we had figured out that she was depressed and her brain was constantly playing tricks on her, she refused to go and see the doctors about it so there was nothing we could do.

'What the hell is going on there Souma!?' I was brought out of my random mind babbling as Ikuto's voice rang out through the phone into my ear.

'Amu just scared me, she's standing in the doorway just randomly staring at me...I've got to go. I'll get Utau to call you back in a bit.' With that I hung up the phone and walked past Amu.

'Amu stay there while I go and get Utau ok?' She continued staring at me as I ran upstairs to her room. 'Utau? What the hell is going on?' I walked into the bedroom to see blood smeared all over the wall, I took a step back when I saw Utau scrubbing at the wall.

'I woke up this morning and found her cutting again...before I could stop her she started rubbing her wrist along the wall. She's getting worse Kukai...we're going to have to call a professional to help her out...' Utau was successfully rubbing the still wet blood off of the wall and within 10 minutes of us both scrubbing it was all cleared up.

We both put our cloths in the bucket before taking it to the bathroom. 'Where's Amu?' I looked down the stairs to see that she wasn't standing there anymore. 'She should be downstairs...' I sighed as we both walked downstairs to see Amu staring at the TV. 'Let's get you cleaned up now eh Amu?' I said with a gentle smile as she slowly looked over at us.

After we finished cleaning her wounds and dressing them properly we all sat down on the sofa. 'Why did you do that Amu?' I looked over at Amu as she didn't respond to Utau's question. 'Amu, why did you cut yourself again?' I asked as she looked at me with a blank expression. 'It was the only way to make him stop talking...he kept appearing...I had to make him go away...' I sighed as both me and Utau hugged her. 'Amu, we're worried about you so we're going to get a doctor to come in and take a look at you ok?' Utau whispered into her hair, she stood up and shook her head furiously.

'That can't be allowed...no...no...no...they can't be allowed in...they'll infect...' me and Utau sighed as we exchanged worried looks once more. We knew that we couldn't force her to see a professional, until then we had to wait and try our best to break her out of this depressive state.

2 WEEKS LATER
Normal POV

Ikuto hadn't seen or heard from Kukai or his sister in two weeks, he was beginning to worry so much that when he heard an ambulance racing down his road he began to fear the worst, he knew that Amu had been beaten by Easter, he was just waiting for a court date to be called for him to finally shut down Easter. As he heard the ambulance come to a halt he wanted to run up to her house to see that she was safe but knew that he couldn't without her permission, especially after how she reacted when he shouted at Utau.

That's when his phone began to ring and he felt his heart fall into the pit of his stomach Incoming call...Utau Hoshina he bit his lip slightly as he answered the phone.

'Utau, please tell me you aren't calling me about that ambulance...'

'You need to come up here now brother...' Utau's voice was shaky and he could tell that she had been crying, he quickly got his jacket and shoes on then grabbed his keys and left the house.

'What's happened Utau?' He was trying to stay strong, he didn't know what had happened but he knew it was about Amu.

'She's unconscious...I don't know how long she was there for...' Ikuto walked up towards the house to see just the doctors' car there, he could hear more sirens in the distance, and he began running as he let himself in through the open door.

'I'm downstairs...I'll see you in a second.' He hung up the phone and slowly walked up the stairs, he was instantly embraced by Utau who came out from Amu's bedroom, Kukai was stood behind her with a strange look on his face. He looked plagued and in total shock at the same time. 'Souma, what happened?'

Kukai looked towards the bathroom and his expression depended and darkened. 'She slits her wrists in the bath...' Ikuto's eyes widened as he pushed Utau off of him, he made his way to the bathroom where the doctor was knelt on the floor, Ikuto knocked on the door. 'I need room to keep her alive...what do you need?' He couldn't see her but Ikuto knew that this doctor was with Amu right now.

'I just want to see her...' Ikuto tried to keep his voice strong but could hear it breaking as he spoke, he was surprised when the doctor turned to look up at him. 'Are you a relative?' Ikuto bit the inside of his mouth. 'Not exactly, she means more to me than the world though. I am responsible for her while her family is away.' The doctor had a sympathetic look on his face as a wash of guilt slowly fell down over his body. 'You could hold her hand, try to keep her conscious for me.' Ikuto nodded with determination as he climbed over the doctor, he hadn't looked at Amu yet but did take a hold of her hand.

'I thought she was unconscious...' Ikuto's heart was breaking as he saw the doctor continue to do some tests on his pink princess, Ikuto knew he had to look at her but couldn't bring himself to. 'Well, she was when I arrived but I thankfully woke her up with my smelling salts, I don't think she has been here that long because the water is still quite warm.' Ikuto took a deep breath as he prepared himself to finally see the ultimate damage that Easter had done to his pink princess, his one and only.

Ikuto's POV

As I finally looked up the reality of the situation finally hit me, Amu was pale, her body looked fragile and weak, her bones had begun to show and I felt my heart squeeze when I saw how much weight she had lost. Her hazel eyes had no sparkle to them, it was almost as if her soul had been sucked out from her, the tears finally ran down my cheeks. I sat on the edge of the bath and was shocked when her gaze locked onto me and I saw a flash of recognition in her eyes.

'Y...you're here...' My throat closed up as she spoke weakly, I hadn't heard her speak in months now. 'Yes Amu...I'm here...' I put a hand on her cheek, she felt so cold and I was beginning to panic. 'W...why...why are you here...' I felt hurt when she looked at me with confusion written across her face. 'Because I love you Amu...' A small almost unidentifiable smile came to her lips as her eyes began to close slowly.

'Amu, don't close your eyes! Ok? You need to stay awake for me...' I looked down at the doctor. 'We need to get her out of this bath, she needs some warmth.' I said as he stood up. 'I was going to wait for the paramedics to get here but we could take her out until then.' I sighed in relief as he grabbed some towels. 'Utau, can you bring some clean clothes for Amu? And her warmest blankets.' I kept a strong grip on Amu's hand and kept a close eye on her as I slid down the bath to be closer to her head.

'I'm right here Amu. I'm not going anywhere.' I bent down and kissed her forehead gently. I looked over at Utau who had some clean clothes for her, Kukai was close behind with the blankets.

We got Amu out of bath slowly and carefully before we left Utau to change Amu out of her wet clothes, after a while she called out to let us into the bathroom once again. I carried Amu downstairs, she was covered in blankets and was staring up at the ceiling. Once we got to the sitting room I sat back on the sofa with Amu close to my chest.

'Amu...why did you hurt yourself, did you want to die and leave me all alone?' My heart was squeezing as her face stayed expressionless. 'You...you kept talking in my head...I couldn't take it anymore...they wouldn't leave me alone...' I knew who she was talking about...Easter had been countering my accusations but they had finally hit a brick wall. Amu hadn't been to the office for weeks and the way that she was now would solidify my case against them. I didn't want Amu to be going through this pain, it tortured me that I couldn't stop her pain.

'Amu...you know I will always love you...I'm going to be here with you every step of the way...' She stared up at me with that small unidentifiable smile and I bent my head down to kiss her gently on the lips. She didn't kiss me back but I didn't care, she was finally in my arms again, Amu, my pink princess, my one true love. I looked up at the door once I heard the ambulance pull up.

'Are you ready to go Amu?' I looked down at her to see that blank stare once more, I looked over to the door once again to see Utau and Kukai talking with the paramedics, I sighed as I knew that Amu was probably going to be in rehab for at least a couple of months before I could see her again. I touched her cheek one last time as I handed her over to the paramedics with a heavy heart. We all stood outside and watched as the ambulance and doctors' car sped off towards the hospital.

'She'll be ok now Ikuto...' Utau's voice was cracked as her she held my hand. 'We're sorry we couldn't do more for her Tsukiyomi...' I shook my head slowly. 'If you two weren't there with her, she would be dead by now...we just have to wait for an update from the hospital...Amu...hang in there...'

[Well there we have it...now just a little comment on how this story kind of took a dramatic twist...as I said at the beginning of this chapter, I wanted to add something that has happened to me personally. Although I never took my self harming to such a strong extent where I slit my wrists in the bath, it did get close to that before my parents found out. You see I wasn't getting abuse from work or whatever but I was getting emotional and mental abuse from home, I had moved back home from living with my boyfriend because he was meant to be going back to Portugal, he never did move but meh... so I told some of my online friends about my self harming and made a group chat on Skype to try and get my head sorted out but a few of my friends were just angry at me for the self harming and kind of abandoned me in my biggest time of need. I was just lucky that I did have a support network from my friends. Anyway after my family found out I went to the doctors, got mental health checks and was put on anti-depressants...BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE! I was on those pills for over a year and once my doctor decided to wean me off of them I was getting withdrawal symptoms from them (not fun!) that was about a year ago, self harming and depression is not a fun thing to go through and is certainly not a 'cool' thing. That's why I wanted to raise awareness through my story. Sorry about this outro kinda being long but I just wanted you guys to understand why I done this twist. Thanks all of you guys and give me a review on how you think I done. Keep faving/following and of course reviewing. Love you all! Peace out ;) xx]