Chapter 21: What if?

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"I…" She trails off. "Yeah. I mean, kind of…?"

"Kind of? What you mean?"

She sighs, tiredly.

"Doesn't it feel different to you?"

"How?"

"We're not the same." She gestures between both of them. "This is not like it used to be."

"That's not true. I still love you the same way. Don't you love me anymore?"

"I do love you, but…"

"But?"

"I'm not in love with you. I'm sorry. I'm trying to be honest with you Finn. I don't want to lead you on. This was a mistake. My mistake."

She takes a deep breath, feeling her regret washing over her. Sure, it was Quinn's stupid idea, but the blonde girl was trying to protect them both, even if it was in a messed up way. However, she is the one who started leading him on with promises and make out sessions. She started dating him for real just because she was jealous of Emily.

"Like I said to you that day in the library, this is not going to work out because I don't want anything getting in my way to Broadway, to stardom."

It is not a total lie. She thinks.

"I don't understand what this is about. How exactly I'm getting in your way?"

"Finn…" She pauses to choose her words carefully. "I'm telling you. I don't want THIS anymore. I don't want to be with you."

"Bullshit!" He says a little edgy.

She exhales soundly as she stands up from her bed. She turns around and faces him again as he insists:

"I don't believe you Rachel. Is this because I dated Quinn? Are you still mad at me? Are you playing hard to get? Listen to me, you don't have to."

Finn also stands up and gets close to her. He holds her chin in a tender way as to make her look up at him.

"I love you. That was a huge mistake. It's not gonna happen again. Quinn and I are SO over. I just want you. I'm not going after her anymore."

"Finn-" She tries out.

"You are the only girl I want." He goes on, clueless. "Everything is going to be different. I promise."

All Rachel can think is how tired she is. Having this conversation after a tough day in school was definitively not a good idea. Rehearsals have been wearing to say the least. On top of that, she is stressed out because of what Artie told her. So what she is a virgin? It is not as if she wants to remain like this for much longer anyway. In fact, if she could right now, she would be just doing it with Quinn. However, she has her morality stopping her. She did not want to do this to him. They brought him into their madness; the least they could do was wait her do the right thing.

Nevertheless, right now, Finn is standing in her way, both metaphorically and physically. The longer it takes him to understand what she is trying to say the longer it will take for her and Quinn to finally being free to move forward.

"I made you a song Rachel. It was about us. Doesn't it count?"

"I did love the song, of course, it was actually pretty impressive. Didn't know you had it in you."

"I know right?" He smiles, smug. "Of course, Quinn helped a lot but…" He lets it slip and regrets immediately. Sure, he promised her he would not tell anyone she helped him, but part of him kept it a secret because he did not want Quinn taking credit for his love song. Quinn is smart and brilliant; of course, everyone else was going to think she did all the work. She did, but he did not want anyone to know that.

"What?"

He rubs his forehead.

"Please don't tell her I told you. She helped a little. But the important thing is that I did with all my heart."

Rachel shakes her head, trying to focus on him rather than on this new information. It's hard not to think about Quinn and how she wants so bad to be in her arms right now.

"Please don't make it difficult." She pleads whiningly. "I don't want to be rude or anything, but right now, I'm tired and I really need you to understand that I want you to be happy and that I don't want to hurt you. But we can't be together anymore."

This time he is the one sighing.

"Here we go again. Okay. Fine. We're over." He shakes his head in disapproval. "I know you'll come around anyway. Being a Broadway star is awesome and all, but everybody needs that special person to be there for us and I know I'm that to you."

He leans down and presses their lips together in a quick kiss. Rachel barely has time to dodge it. She is relived he kept the kiss PG-13 though. When he walks out of her bedroom, she feels like she took a heavy weight off her shoulders.

She is not a moody person. Okay, maybe just a little. In her defense, people do like trying her patience sometimes. "People" being one person in particular.

"Hey." She hears the familiar voice and feels him getting close to her.

The day started so well. She received a good morning text from her girlfriend (or soon to be girlfriend again), she had a good amount of sleep, she is trying her best to be in good terms with Shelby and she gave up on her plan to steal Beth from the teacher, which she still has to inform both, Rachel and Puck.

"Hey." She says with her eyes still on her things as she rummages through her locker. Around them, the noises from the school's hallway.

"Can I talk to you?"

He seems to be a little nervous and as this is never a good thing, she stops her motions and turns to him.

"What?"

"I know it's kinda late but I… I want to apologize."

"Apologize?" She frowns a little. "What for?"

"For breaking up with you."

She huffs, and rolls her eyes, dramatic antics on point. Too much alike a certain brunette. Is it just because of jealousy or Finn really gets on her nerves by only existing?

"Are you about to hit on me? Cause really, that's so not how I was expecting to start off my day."

"What?" He asks dumbfounded.

"Are you trying to get back together?"

"No!" He shakes his head. "I mean… Do you want to?"

"No Finn, I don't want to get back to you and since we're at it. I don't want to get back to you ever again. So do us a favor and move on from this turnover between me and Rachel, okay?"

"It's not like that."

She glares at him with stern eyes.

"Okay… but I really wanted to apologize for the way I handled things with you and how I broke up with you."

"Okay. I accept it."

"Really?" He gets shocked, as he is surprised that she is not making it more difficult for him.

"Yes. Anything else?"

Really, she only wants to get rid of him. Like, literally. Bringing him to their relationship was a mistake even if she had good intentions. She should have known better, she spent sophomore and junior year in distress because of this stupid love triangle between them. In the end, she always ended up hurt, even when she was the one with Finn. She wouldn't have admitted at the time, but seeing Rachel hurt had always a bitter taste.

"Uh… No. I guess I see you in rehearsals?"

She nods and closes her locker. She then leaves him as he is displaying his characteristic lopsided smile, almost making her regret she was so forgiving. She lets it go and starts her quest to find Rachel's whereabouts.

She only manages to find Rachel in the History class they share in second period. She walks inside the classroom and sits in the seat beside the brunette, which means she has to sit in the first row.

The things we do for love…

She thinks as she smiles guardedly.

"Hey!" Santana calls out, walking inside the classroom as well. "What are you doing here? We sit back there." She points to the back of the room.

"Oh that? Uh… I'm going to sit here today."

"Why?" Santana questions, annoyed.

"I need to talk to Rachel." She explains matter-of-factly.

"You do?"

Rachel and Santana ask at the same time.

"Yes, why are you so surprised?" Quinn questions the Glee diva with a frown on her forehead.

"Well, you never talk to me at school." Rachel shakes her head, nervously. "Not that you talk to me out of school. We don't talk either way." She giggles awkwardly.

"This is a fallacy. I do talk to you."

"Okay, first of all, quit the sophisticated words. Everybody knows the feud between you people. Which means, the hobbit has a point. What could you possibly want to talk to her?"

As Rachel rolls her eyes at Santana's idea of joking, Quinn only shrugs undisturbedly.

"If you must know." She opens her book and leans toward Rachel's table. "So, Berry, I'm kind of lost here, when Mrs. Robertson was explaining this part last class," She points her finger to the paragraph she mentioned. "She said-"

"Boring!" This time, Santana is the one rolling her eyes. She crosses her arms over her chest and walks toward her seat, passing in between them and forcibly making the pair move away from each other.

"You know more about this subject than I ever will." Rachel says in a low voice, ignoring Santana.

"Don't underestimate yourself." Quinn says. Eyes on Rachel.

"I'm not. It's just that I can't compete with you."

The brunette looks around, checking whether her classmates are paying attention on them or not, but everyone seems to be busy talking to each other or minding their own business, including Santana, that right now, is sexting Brittany.

"You are such a nerd, Quinn Fabray…" She smiles, biting down on her bottom lip. "If only people knew…"

Quinn arches her eyebrow in a very seductive way, but when she is about to point out that she still has the power to summon up the head bitch in charge within her, the teacher walks in.

"We'll continue this later." She leans and whispers in Rachel's ear.

They both have a smile on their faces as they open their notebooks.

Unfortunately, she has the whole morning to go through before the "later" comes to her. Although, the day went quite well, no bickering in the hallways, a slushie free day. Soon enough and she is walking through the hallways toward the auditorium to the rehearsals. That is, until she drops her book on the floor. She reads between scenes, when her character is not in action.

"Let me."

Before she could take it, Finn leans down and takes it himself, handing the book to the blonde girl right away.

"You and your books." He smiles. "I remember. You are a…" He squints his eyes in deep concentration. "How do people say it?"

"I have no idea of what you're talking about." She says, amused.

"A bookworm!" He says animatedly, glad he remembered. "Rachel taught me that word."

"Well... I guess." She smiles at the thought of Rachel explaining what the word meant. She wonders if they were talking about her when Rachel taught him the meaning, better yet, she is thinking that Rachel was talking about her when she was with him, which means Rachel had Quinn in her mind even when she was with Finn.

"You are so smart." He chuckles. "And I and the guys thought we had a chance."

"What do you mean?" She asks, intrigued.

"No one is a match for you here; you're so above all of us."

She arches her eyebrow, wondering whether he is being honest or just trying to be flirtatious.

"I don't know about that."

"No seriously, you are a high maintenance girl for sure, but it's more than that, you're beautiful, you're brilliant. You know how to play piano; you're an A+ kinda student and also a cheerleader."

"I was." She points out, serenely. She is a little taken aback with Finn's compliments.

"Still." He shrugs as they proceed to walk again. "I can only think of a person who could be a mat-" He stops walking, astonished, he stands still.

She smirks, observing his expressions as he is, undeniably disturbed by the thought that crossed his mind. She knows, of course, he was thinking about Rachel.

"Are you thinking about what I think you're thinking?" She questions him with a big smile on her face.

"No." He tries to disguise his confused state of mind. "I mean… I don't know what you're thinking."

He starts walking again.

"You were thinking that Rachel is the only match for me." She follows him, too amused to let it go.

"I wasn't," He protests and she bursts out laughing. She laughs so hard that they all hear it in the auditorium as they are very close to reach the stage.

"You… you…" She can't barely breathe, shaking and holding her belly.

"Are you making fun of me? You're not going to be mad at me, are you?"

"No." She takes a deep breath. "You…"

Don't know how right you are…

She thinks, but she does not say it, of course.

"I'm not mad. It's just funny. Thank you for that."

She wraps her arms around him as they keep walking to the stage.

"Thanks, I guess?" He says, confused, as he tries to reciprocate the embrace, awkwardly.

Santana is the first to spot the pair and with disdain apparent on her face, she says:

"Oh god no. Not again. Really Q?"

They soon get Rachel's attention as the brunette look at the scene with a comic frown on her face.

"What?" Quinn puts some distance between them.

"Don't tell me you're going to get back to mister girl tits now that he and the hobbit are no longer an item?" Santana teases. "Speaking of which, what are you even doing here?"

"Well, I'm here to support Ra-" Finn stops mid-sentence as he remembers he is not Rachel's boyfriend anymore. "Alright, I forgot."

"Dios Mio." Santana frowns, staring at him in a judgmental way.

"How do you know that we broke up?" Rachel asks Santana, ignoring Finn's stupidity.

"Pluh-ease. Everybody knows."

Outraged, Rachel gets speechless, her mouth agape. They really are a bunch of gossipers because she only broke up with Finn the day before.

"Who told you?" She asks Santana, but her eyes are on Finn.

"Don't look at me, I just told Puck."

"Well, he told me." Santana informs them without a care.

Puck has the decency to look ashamed as Quinn scolds him with her eyes.

"I only told it to Blaine." Kurt explains himself thinking that Rachel would understand that he could not keep a secret from his boyfriend.

"I kind of told it to Tina." Blaine grimaces, apologetic.

"And I told Mike, obvi."

"What?!" Kurt exclaims, annoyed.

"I can't believe you guys!" Rachel huffs.

"Ugh. We're missing the point here." Santana steps in. "Is anyone else tired of this boring as fuck love triangle?"

"I love triangles." Brittany states unexpectedly.

"Not this one, trust me B." Santana says as she waves her hand.

"Finn, can I talk to you." Rachel says with assertiveness, gesturing to the empty side of the stage.

"What?" He asks as soon as they are far from the rest of the group. From her spot, Quinn observes the pair.

"Remember the talk we had? Remember you said you weren't going to pursue a relationship with Quinn anymore?"

"Yeah."

"So? What was that just now?"

"I wasn't doi- wait, are you jealous?" He smirks, hopeful, making her roll her eyes.

"This is irrelevant now."

"But-"

"No but." She cuts him off, holding a hand up in the air. "You said you wouldn't go after her anymore."

"I know, but I thought you and I were going to be together. I meant that I wasn't going after her because I just wanted to be with you, but I don't know, you dumped me, we're not together. What if Quinn and I decide to give it a try again? Do I have to hold me back because of you?"

She shakes her head in disbelief.

"You know what?" She waves her hand. "Quinn?" She calls out.

"Yeah?" Quinn answers right away and the softness in her voice is so off character to all of them (even the extras) that they all get surprised a little. She recomposes herself and try again. "What?" She asks in a more neutral tone.

"Do you want to get back to Finn?"

"No." Quinn answers without falter. "And I had already told him this morning." She looks at him, annoyance all over her face.

Rachel smiles her megawatt smile as she turns to him again.

"See? All settled down. And trust me; this will be better to the group dynamic." She pats his shoulders in a quick motion.

"Okay…" He complies. "I'm leaving…"

"Thank God!" Santana teases.

"Alright, alright." Artie interrupts them as he is arriving. "Let's get to work. Wait, Finn, since you're here, help me with this task."

Before they start gabbling, Artie proposes some acting exercises as he thinks they are all still a little tense and not immersed in their characters' minds.

"Okay. Stop." He calls out after some time. "Enough with the screaming. Let's move to something else. I want you guys to pair up."

Despite complaining, they follow Artie's command. Santana choses Brittany, of course and they all (including the extras) end up settled with the person they have more affinity. As Kurt choses Blaine, Rachel pairs up with Rory. She hates that Quinn is pairing with Puck, but she guess she has to bear with it.

"No, no. This is not a playground activity guys. Finn, sort them out randomly." He demands and Finn starts forming the pairs. "I want you guys to say mean and degrading things to each other."

They all cheer up, excited with the prospect of saying silly things to each other.

"But no. This is not about yourselves. Not about saying mean things just for the sake of it. It's acting. You have to be convincing to the person in front of you."

"Done." Finn states as he finishes pairing everyone up.

"Do you realize you arranged everyone randomly but managed to separate the girls you kind of dated in categories, like, the brunettes." Santana points to Rachel and herself. "And the blondes." She points out to Quinn and Brittany. "You perv?"

"I didn't!" Finn says mortified, cheeks getting red as everyone notices the coincidence.

"Dude, you totally did. " Puck teases. He is pairing with one of the extra guys.

"Maybe it was unconsciously." Mike ponders.

"Okay!" He says a little edgy. "I'll change them!"

"Never mind. No time for that. Let's start" Artie demands bossily.

"That's gonna be so easy." Santana says, staring at Rachel in an ominous way.

"It's supposed to be acting" Rachel reminds her.

"Whatever." Santana disdains. "You start."

"Okay." Rachel takes a deep breath and concentrates on her acting. "You are a brat. That story about Lima heights adjacents is bullshit. You are a spoiled little girl." She says with a stern look on her face.

Santana falters a little, but she remains impassive or at least as much as she manages in the moment.

"I don't like saying mean things." Brittany states, but Quinn is paying close attention to the pair beside them. "But I guess I'll be awesome anyway. So here it goes: you're kind of a pressed lemon."

"What?" Quinn smiles, still more focused on Santana and Rachel.

"That was impressive." Santana says calmly. "Something a self absorbed, loveless, frigid, repressed little bitch would say."

Quinn clenches her jaw, doing her best to remain calm.

"I have all the love I need. You're just too much of a coward to claim what is yours to take." Rachel glances at Brittany for a second.

This game is getting a little dangerous, she can feel it, but she never had a filter anyway, besides, Artie said they were lacking passion.

"Don't." Santana warns.

"You are always hiding behind this uniform, so you can bully people. But you are a coward."

"It means you kinda gay but you don't know it." Brittany explains, oblivious to the growing tension.

Looking at her nails, pretending she is still in control, Santana huffs in disdain.

"I have to say you're bold. I mean, it takes a lot of courage to look like that…" her eyes rake over Rachel's body. "And still try to be in the spotlight. I should say talent could save you, but… you have no talent." She smirks, happy that Rachel seems affected by what she just said. Even Finn is upset.

Meanwhile, Quinn is gone. She is no longer in control of her actions. She turns to Brittany with a look that could scare off the bravest of men.

"Stop talking… Do you even know what we are doing here? Oh yeah… you don't. You're dumb."

Rachel and Santana stop midsentence and they both look at Quinn. Rachel in shock and Santana with fire in her eyes.

"What did you just say?" Santana gets close, intimidating, but Quinn holds her ground. "Take it back."

"Guys. This is an exercise. Please go back to it; we are behind the schedule here!" Artie reprimands them, but Santana ignores him, watching the way Brittany's mood darkened.

"Take it back you bitch!" She pushes Quinn.

"Don't touch me." Quinn warns her.

"I said, take it back!" This time she pushes harder, making Quinn lose her balance, almost falling on the floor. Angry, the blonde launches herself on Santana, but the shorter girl hits her on the face. Quinn tastes the blood in her mouth and as she is distracted, rubbing her jaw, Santana drags her down, straddling her. By now, everybody got out of the stupor they were and Puck and Mike try to take Santana off Quinn.

"How could you?!" Santana protests, showing more emotions that she would like. She is feeling betrayed somehow. It hurts more because it was Quinn saying it. She would expect anyone of them saying it, but not Quinn. The blonde knows it, and she is starting to regret she said that. For instances, she is not even hitting back, just protecting herself as much as she manages. Rachel notices it and she panics watching Santana punching Quinn as the boys try with no success to stop her.

Without a second thought, she gets in between them, holds Santana by the waist and with the strength, she did not think she had in her; she pulls Santana off of Quinn.

"Take your hands off of me! How dare you? I'll fucking end you and then I'll fucking end that bitch!"

"I won't let you hurt her and I know you don't want that either." Rachel says with assertiveness. "Look, you need to calm down. Quinn wasn't serious. This is just acting."

"The hell it is! She knows this is crossing the line. She is trying to get to me because she is a spiteful bitch! Let me go!" Santana tries to get away from Rachel's hold.

"No! Stop it!"

Santana does not listen. She pushes Rachel so hard that sends her staggering backwards and falling on the stage's floor.

That makes Quinn angry all over again. Finn comes to Rachel, but she ignores his help and stands up fast.

"Hold her!" She orders Puck to go after Santana as she goes to Quinn. "Stop!"

"She pushed you." Quinn says her eyes on Santana.

"Quinn, look at me." Rachel holds the blonde's face. "Stop. I'm fine."

She says it meaningfully and Quinn understands that she is also talking about the things Santana said to her. With that, she relaxes.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Coach Beiste says with authority as she walks in the auditorium.

"Artie?" Miss Pillsbury questions, right behind Coach Beiste.

"Nothing, just some idiots that doesn't know what it means to be professional." He says annoyed.

"It's my fault coach." Quinn says.

"You're damn right it is!" Santana pulls away from Puck, but this time only to recompose herself and fix her clothes.

Quinn turns to Brittany.

"I'm sorry B. That was stupid of me. I think I got too much into the activity."

"Oh please… You were trying to mess with me. What now? What did I do to you?"

"I said it was stupid of me, okay."

She says a little remorseful. In a second nature act, Rachel holds the blonde's hand, rubbing the back of it in a soothing way. Both unaware that Finn is observing them closely since the moment Rachel went to Quinn to stop her. He thought it odd the way Quinn let her guard down the moment Rachel asked her to stop.

"Is this about the cheerios again? Look, I'm the captain now, deal with it."

"What? No-" Quinn was going to protest but Emma interrupts her.

"Enough! You two go to my office now. We need to talk." Miss Pilsburg demands, stressed out a little. "Artie, enough with these experimentations, go back to rehearsals, opening night is this weekend!" She turns on her heels and walks toward the exit. "Girls!" she calls out.

Santana rolls her eyes but obeys.

"We'll talk later." Rachel whispers to Quinn, tightening her hold in reassurance.

Quinn nods ever so slightly and goes.

"Alright everyone! From the top." Artie shout.

No… I must be tripping…

Finn thinks.

But what if?

"Nah…" He shakes his head. "No way…"

I know… there is barely faberry in it, but it had to be done. I'll be back with another Chapter soon.

xoxo