At King's Cross Station, Harry arrived bright and early. He wanted to scout out the train for the best compartments; he doubted that any of them were better than the others but it couldn't hurt to look.
There was one compartment near the caboose that already had someone in it. Her dirty-blonde hair hung down to her waist and she had large grey eyes. At the moment she was reading a newspaper – no, a magazine – upside-down. Harry squinted and saw that it was called the Quibbler. She was wearing a necklace made of corks and a pair of earrings that looked like a kind of fruit, but he could not place what kind. She was also wearing her wand behind her ear.
"Hello," she said in a dreamy, almost distracted kind of voice.
"Hello, my name's Harry, who are you?"
"I'm Luna. It's nice to meet you Harry."
Feeling oddly comfortable around this girl, Harry opted to sit down beside her.
"So what are you reading?"
She smiled and replied, "This is my copy of my daddy's magazine, the Quibbler. I was doing the rune-based crossword puzzle, which needs to be done upside down."
"Oh. That sounds interesting." And to Harry it actually did. He didn't know much about runes except a vague comment from Hermione about how it was older magic from before wands.
Luna's grin got bigger, and she continued, "Oh it is, but before you came in I was trying to do it quickly so that I could move on and read daddy's article about our summer hunt for the Crumple-Horned Snorkack."
Harry nodded along until that point. "I'm sorry, the what?"
"You've never heard of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack?" She seemed less surprised than disappointed, giving Harry the sense this was a common occurrence.
"Well, I was raised away from the magical world, and not a lot of owls are up to the trip to Monster Island so I don't know a lot of magical creatures to be honest."
"Monster Island? Where is that?"
"Well how about we play a little game. I'll tell you a bit about Monster Island if you tell me more about the Snorkack. Does that sound good?"
And so Harry and Luna spent the next hour getting to know each other through their talk of different creatures. Harry talked about each of the kaiju, and Luna talked about creatures like Snorkacks, Nargles, and Blibbering Humdingers.
They were interrupted a short while later by the door to their compartment opening, followed by a panicked squeak and a slam.
"Er, what was that?"
"That looked like Ginny, although I can't imagine what would have scared her like that. I certainly don't see any Heliopaths nearby."
"I think I might have an idea," Harry groaned, and when Luna looked to him for an explanation he briefly pulled back his bangs to show his scar.
Luna frowned slightly. "I don't understand. She's afraid of your forehead?"
Harry's respect for Luna rocketed upwards and he chuckled, although he wasn't entirely sure whether or not she was being sarcastic.
"No, I think she got nervous because I'm Harry Potter, and a lot of people seem to freak out when they see me for the first time."
"Oh, you're Harry Potter. Are the rumors about last year true? Was Professor Quirrell really infested by Aquavirius Maggots?"
"…I don't think so, although that would have explained how he smelled. He actually had Vol- sorry, er, You-Know-Who on the back of his head."
Luna gave him a scathing look. "It was just a question, there's no need to tell such a ridiculous lie."
Shocked at her doubt, Harry looked directly into her eyes and replied, "I'm not lying, it's the truth… at least, Quirrell said it was You-Know-Who, and then the face on the back of his head said it was You-Know-Who. I suppose they could've been a really convincing fake…"
Luna looked thoughtful about that. "It would be the kind of thing that the Rotfang Conspiracy would do, but it's quite a step up from gum disease…"
Before Harry could ask what the Rotfang Conspiracy was and what it could possibly have to do with gum disease, a familiar voice called out, "There you are!"
Hermione entered the compartment, Neville following just behind her.
"Hi Neville, Hermione! This is my new friend Luna."
"We're friends?" Luna sounded shocked but hopeful.
Harry gave her an almost hurt look, replying, "I thought we were getting there… I don't normally talk for so long with people I don't think of as a friend."
In turn Luna gave him a hug and Harry felt a strange warmth in his chest that had nothing to do with magic or fire, but before he could place it Hermione was starting to introduce herself and Neville and Luna broke away to talk.
It was mostly a happy conversation, Hermione's trip to France with her parents providing the bulk of material for discussion. In turn Luna talked about her trip to Switzerland with her father. Harry noted that when she mentioned the various creatures they had been looking for both Neville and Hermione gave her odd looks. He wondered why, but figured that he could ask later.
Neville apparently didn't think his break was much to talk about, but since it was a typical wizarding holiday and neither Harry nor Hermione had an experience with such things they made him elaborate. Apparently he'd spent most of his summer tending to the plants in his home's greenhouse in between practicing his spellwork with his new wand. That was a subject that brought a smile to his face – it seemed that everything was so much easier for him now that he had a matching wand, and he thanked Harry for getting Mothra ("whoever or whatever she is") to donate the hair. Apparently the trace only detected magic cast around the young witch or wizard, so since he lived in a wizarding household Neville could practice to his heart's content. Hermione was more than a little peeved about that, so Neville urged Harry to share his summer before she got started on a rant.
Harry made silence fall in the compartment when he regaled them with the tale of how the headmaster had first set up a meeting with his relatives at the train station expecting him to go with them, and then showed up on Monster Island with plans to take him to those same relatives, only to settle for abducting Jet Jaguar, who had now been missing for three months.
Hermione could scarcely believe that Dumbledore would do such a thing, and Neville went very quiet. Luna gave him another hug from her position at his side and offered her condolences. Harry continued the story of his summer, explaining that apart from that things had been calm and rather boring until he spent the night at the Leaky Cauldron, when something called a house elf attempted to steal his trunk.
Neville looked aghast until Harry elaborated that it was clearly acting against some orders, to the point of having to punish itself. He elaborated that the elf claimed its name was Dobby and that his master planned to set in motion a sequence of events that would make Hogwarts very dangerous, and planned to make Harry stay away from the school. Harry explained that he'd lied to the elf to get it to leave him alone, and so far everything seemed to be working.
"Poor Dobby, it sounds like his master is very cruel. Only the worst masters make house elves hurt themselves."
"I know, it sounds barbaric!"
Hermione almost got onto a soapbox about liberating house elves, but Neville defused it by explaining that house elves needed to stay around magical areas to survive, and those bonded to wizards usually lived longer because they usually lived around areas with more magic, and were usually treated well. Hermione's fuse was mostly put out by that, but she still tried to create (and convince them to join) the Society for the Protection of Elf Workers.
When Harry teasingly pointed out that that spelled "spew" she hit him as Neville and Luna stifled giggles.
The train ride passed without incident. Malfoy was either too lazy to walk all the way to the back of the train or he had found someone easier to goad.
It turned out that only first years rode the boats; everyone else rode up to the school in carriages that appeared to be pulled by magic alone, and shortly after they were seated Harry was finally able to ask, "Why did you two keep giving Luna those odd looks?"
The two looked at each other, and Neville decided to speak first.
"I didn't want to say anything because it would have been rude, but the Quibbler is kind of seen as a joke by most wizards. The creatures and the conspiracies in it just don't exist."
Harry frowned at that. "How do you know they don't? Hermione, you know that just because something hasn't been discovered doesn't mean it doesn't exist right?"
Hesitating, Hermione replied, "Well, yes, but… Harry, have you ever read the Quibbler?"
"No. Are you saying that you have?"
She nodded. "Neville gave me an old issue when I owled him about wizarding publications."
Harry looked at his other best friend, who answered the silent question by saying, "Sometimes Gran will order a copy for a laugh, so there were a few copies laying around the house."
The trio spent several more minutes arguing about the merits and demerits of the Quibbler, until Neville and Hermione agreed that they wouldn't criticize it around Luna, and Harry could order or ask for a copy to judge it for himself.
The Sorting proceeded normally, even if it did bring in a few colorful characters. Colin Creevy had to be asked not to take pictures during the Sorting before he was sent to Gryffindor. Ginevra Weasley, the girl who'd squeaked and ran away from Harry on the train, joined the rest of her family in Gryffindor as well, and Luna Lovegood, after a few moments of deliberation, went to Ravenclaw. Harry was disappointed. It seemed to be very difficult to make friends outside of one's house, and he'd been hoping to see more of Luna around.
Well he would just have to try harder this year. Yes, Harry decided, this year he would really push himself both socially and academically. It's what his android uncle would have wanted.
Meanwhile, in Arthur Weasley's garage Jet Jaguar leaned against the wall and tried to focus on growing, but lost it after only a few seconds. Despite his ignorance of seemingly basic technology, the robot's warden seemed to have a knack for making machines function around magic, albeit at some cost. Cars were not meant to growl like wolves, nor were washing machines meant to growl back. Still, Jet Jaguar was made of sterner stuff than most machines, and so far only his internal clock had been damaged, and his memory of how to grow. He knew he could do it, he'd just been internally damaged to the point where he did not know how.
He'd only caught parts of Arthur's discussion with Dumbledore, but he'd been able to piece together what the headmaster had said based on the Weasley patriarch's musings as he worked. Apparently, the cover story revolved around Dumbledore's position as Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards – Jet Jaguar was supposed to be a malfunctioning golem designed to blend in with "roh-butts" as the man mispronounced the term, that were increasingly common in muggle society. The specific malfunctions Arthur had been asked to correct were an inability to function within strong wards (apparently the headmaster had upgraded the wards around the Burrow specifically to keep up this ruse) and a refusal to obey Dumbledore's orders.
Jet Jaguar enjoyed free will. He'd enjoyed it since the moment he'd realized he had it, and he was loath to part with it, but he could still act like he obeyed the headmaster, but the wards – apparently the protective magic surround magical areas – still caused him pain and denied him the ability to concentrate. He acted like he obeyed Dumbledore, but thanks to the wards his motions were jerky and confused, so the headmaster still did not think he was ready for… whatever he planned for Jet Jaguar to do. That was something he was very tight-lipped about.
So Jet Jaguar simply waited and planned. Sooner or later he would be free, and with his new magical upgrades there truly would be nowhere for evil to hide from him. He would expose whatever plan required Harry to be with relatives that were almost guaranteed to abuse him, and he would bring down Dumbledore. It was simply a matter of time.
Author's Note: So Dumbledore is scheming and Jet Jaguar is counter-scheming. Who will win? Those who guess correctly will receive a complimentary bottle of Diddly Squat, and those who make me laugh with their guess will receive a heaping helping of Bupkis.
Both of those are American slang terms meaning nothing at all. Sorry, I just remembered not everyone reading this is from the US, and so I feel obligated to explain the joke.
Moving on, if it seems like Harry is getting a crush on Luna, that's because he is, even if he doesn't realize it yet. Yes, if this story has any romance in it at all it is 90% likely to be Harry/Luna. Sorry Harmony fans, I just feel that this version of Harry fits better with Luna's eccentricity.