I'm back! I am so sorry for the delay! That nasty beast, Real Life, got a hold of my editing muse and it was a battle to behold. At the end, however, that little dust-bunny muse stood victorious (at least for thirty minutes). So I have the next part up for you. I hope you like it!
For all the people who like my story, thank you so much for letting me know. It feeds my writer's soul.
Part 7
Lucy was the source of much thought in Cair at that moment, but the young lady herself was busy being
fitted for her ball gown. She had very definite ideas in mind for the garment, and was having to argue
the problem with the seamstress.
"NO. CORSET," she emphasized for the third time.
"But, Queen Lucy, it's the style," Lydia was almost in tears. She really wanted to do the young lady up
right. After all, Cair hadn't had a young Queen in residence…well, since the Golden Age!
"And if it were the style to jump off the tower, am I to be expected to follow suit?" At the look in Lydia's
eyes, and the glee in Altaira's, she relented…somewhat. "I will NOT wear a corset. I will, however, agree
to some fitting sewn into the dress that gives me the APPEARANCE of a corset. I want to be able to
breathe."
Lydia's face smoothed out. THAT compromise she could live with. The fact it would take less time to fit
the dress with the required material than to build a corset for the dress design didn't hurt either.
"Good. Now, I have an item I need your help with," she said to Lydia. "Altaira?"
Altaira had been watching the interaction with fascination. Almost the way SHE would have handled
it…and WISHED she had done for her OWN ball gown, brought from Archenland. She almost missed her
name being called. "Yes?" she replied, looking at Lucy.
We need to change into something else. I have an idea for what I want done and I need your help to do
it."
What Lucy wanted done, and what Lydia found delightful, was to combine the two outfits into one
style…the mannish trousers with the style of the split skirt. Lydia agreed to make each girl a pair before
the ball, and departed, feeling like she had been run over by a sweet-smelling, petite mule.
As Lucy was changing into something appropriate for dinner, she ruminated over what had happened
just that day. No wonder she was exhausted!
Only her promise to knock on doors for dinner kept her from retiring early.
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The dinner was fabulous; the food great, the drink just perfect, and the conversation entertaining.
Lucy had changed the seating arrangements to accommodate the Archenlanders, and placed King Arden
at one end, with herself next to him to ease his way. She pulled Eustace into the seat on her left. Caspian
was at his usual place at the end of the table, and Teddy had nearly bowled over Tracey to place himself
across from Lucy, with Altaira next to him.
Lucy ignored the vibes coming from the younger kings. Edmund had almost bitten Teddy's head off over
the seating arrangement, and Caspian…well, who knew what was going on in that beloved brain of his.
She had decided to speak only when she had something important to say, but King Arden and Altaira
made such interesting conversationalists that she was drawn into a discussion of the history of
Archenland before she knew it.
King Lune and his twin sons had been great favorites at Cair, before the fall of the Golden Age. Lucy was
happy to share information about the current King's ancestors with them. She drew Edmund into the
discussion as well, easing his inexplicable tension, then slowly got Eustace to chime in, adding an
insightful tidbit or two about the Dawn Treader's voyage.
She spoke little to Caspian or Teddy, and even less to Tracey, who was steaming that the attention she felt should rightfully be hers was being taken by this...this… She couldn't think of a word that fit properly, which just made her madder.
The next day was busy. Lucy was escorted almost everywhere by Altaira and Teddy, the latter being sure
to shower her with flattery. Lucy's bell-like laughter could be heard when he got too flowery with the
compliments. Altaira observed several times during the day that the youngest King, Edmund, was lurking
about, paying little attention to her beautiful sister, and keeping Teddy in his sights.
That night, after dinner, Lucy excused herself almost immediately after dessert was cleared, hoping to
avoid the inevitable confrontation she could see brewing in the air around three people.
No such luck.
Caspian had been waiting on tenterhooks for a chance to talk to the young Queen. He'd had very little
time during the day to keep a watchful eye on the young Archenlander, because of his meeting with
Arden. But he wanted to get her opinion on the king's nephew. Lucy had taken the visitors out for
another horseback ride and picnic, however, so he'd had no chance until now.
She wasn't ignoring him, per se; just not speaking to him in the easy way they had…well, before the End
of the World. When he saw his chance, he grabbed it…and gently, Lucy's arm.
"May I speak to you?" he said, leading her to the sitting room and closing the door.
Lucy looked surprised…and in truth, she was. She had not expected Caspian to want to speak to her so soon. She had not really understood that his demeanor was being directed toward herself.
She was also afraid. She thought she knew what Caspian was going to say regarding Teddy, and she was sure that if he insinuated that his only concern was as a friend, she would attempt to deck him.
His first words were just as she'd thought. "You've been spending a lot of time with Teddy."
She shrugged, not allowing her anger and hurt to show. "He seems to want to spend time with me. Is that a problem?"
"He's not known for staying with someone for long."
Lucy sighed. "Caspian, he's not asking me to MARRY him! Just to spend time with him. He pays attention
to me as if I'm a woman, not just one of the boys. He doesn't care that I can spar, or can defend myself if
need be. He just wants to get to know me better. Surely that's not a crime! Surely you can understand
the appeal of being around someone who wants to be around you, and doesn't hesitate to let you know
it."
He flinched as if she'd hit him. She truly hadn't meant to hurt him, just soothe his fears without giving
the "plan" away.
"I don't like it," was all he said.
She smiled wryly. "Why am I not surprised? Look, he's a nice guy, Caspian. He's only here a short time.
Would it help if I promise not to do anything he might construe as an invitation?"
He grumbled. "With some men, you just breathing is an invitation. But—" he put his hand up to stop her
words. "I trust you. I know you'll take care of yourself. Just come get me, or Edmund, maybe even
Eustace to finish the job if he DOES get out of line." He smiled with evil glee at the thought. "I prefer it
be me."
She spoke decisively. "Agreed." She took his proffered hand, shaking it.
Electricity surged where their hands met, startling them both into letting go.
Silence filled the room for a moment. Lucy almost said good night and left, when he spoke again.
His words surprised her when he spoke next. "What's happening to us?"
Lucy understood immediately. She thought of playing it coy, making him tell her what he meant, but she
was too tired, and he looked so worn. And truthfully, she loved him too much to cause him more grief
than she had to.
She looked at him. He'd run both hands through his hair, mussing the shoulder-length locks. She spoke
finally, so softly he almost couldn't hear her. "What do you want to hear?"
He looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. "The truth, of course!"
"Okay, there's two answers. One is me saying, the stress of the visitors, the recovery from the long
journey, and the wondering when the other shoe will drop in regards to Aslan sending people back to
their home has left us floundering for purchase. It will ease and get better… and clearer."
"And the other?" Caspian had to ask. He had to KNOW what was keeping his favorite Queen from
speaking to him as she used to, about everything and anything. And since it was probably his fault, how
he could fix it.
Lucy sighed, looking far older than her sixteen years. "There's the whole deep unvarnished truth. I don't
think either of us is ready for that last one."
"Why not?" Caspian was indignant. Did she think him incapable of handling a painful truth?
"Because it will change EVERYTHING. Not just OUR…relationship, but it affects EVERYBODY. And maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'M the only one to see that that change is carefully balanced, and one shove can topple it in a direction Aslan, you, I…none of us want it to go." She stood, startling Caspian as she stood toe-to-toe with him. Her head could easily rest on his shoulder, and she so wished she could do so.
Being Aslan's secret-holder was wearing on her, especially now, when she so wanted to say the words,
to make that change. She just wanted to take refuge in him, in her rock.
But Lucy Pevensie had always been wise beyond her years, and something told her that now was not the
time to take what she so wanted. If she did, what she wanted would be…diminished somehow. She
could almost see the struggle in him to deny the feelings, to force them into a more casual, friendly
pattern. He wasn't ready to accept the love that she had only recently accepted resided in her, and she
would not, COULD not, lean on him without that admission. Not for this.
She startled them both to pieces when she rested her hand on his cheek, cupping the stubble and
smoothing her thumb along it.
"Caspian, we will ALWAYS be friends. THAT will NEVER change. But the road we're walking, it may take
us somewhere you're not ready to go. You need to BE ready before I can answer with that whole, deep
unvarnished truth. I CAN tell you that we are changing. Growing, maturing, regressing…that I can't
answer. Nor can I tell you Aslan's truth yet. But know this, when you decide you're ready, WHATEVER
you decide…We'll be okay."
Man. It tore her into FRAGMENTS to say that. She was SO afraid that he would decide to change paths,
to avoid where they were headed together and make that path with someone who wouldn't be leaving
at the whim of the Great Lion.
But Lucy was in love with Caspian. And all she wanted for him was utterly, completely, the best possible
future he could have.
Even if it wasn't with her. Even if she had to watch him fall for someone else.
She gently rose on tiptoes and kissed his cheek, then left him, closing the door behind her.
By the time Caspian gathered his thoughts and made it to the hallway, she was gone.
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Lucy was sitting on her windowsill. The storm that had been threatening all afternoon had broken, and
its fury matched her emotions. Tears poured down her face, which was tucked into her dressing gown-clad updrawn knees. The soft knock at the door went almost unheard, then she was almost ready to
ignore it. Only her royal training refused to let her do so. "Who is it?"
"Edmund." She almost fell off the seat trying to get to the door. She opened it to see her older brother
standing there, in his own dressing gown, looking concerned and sleepy. The storm had awoken him,
and he immediately thought of Lucy's unease around them. They were one of the few things she
actually feared, the tumult of the thunder and the lancing of the lightning. The rain itself had never
bothered her, just the sound and fury.
He saw her eyes cloud again at the sight of him, and realized how much it must be costing her not to run to Caspian's room. Their best friend had always been good at calming her fears about the weather, making her laugh or simply holding her through them.
He REALLY wanted to strangle the good King's neck for causing this grief he could see in his favorite
sister's eyes.
He took her shoulders in his hands, looking into the deep blue orbs, hoping it was an illusion. It wasn't.
Man, he hoped he NEVER saw such pain in her eyes again, or he really WOULD go sword to sword with
Caspian, trying to kill him for the emotional blow.
He knew the answer before he asked the question. Still, it had to be asked. "Is it the weather storm, or
the emotional storm that causes such chaos?"
She smiled weakly, not trying to hide her face from him. "Emotional?" Her voice was a low whisper,
trying not to wake up any of the hall's occupants.
"Can I fix it?"
"Can you make someone love someone else? Without the agony, the chaos, the…sheer uncertainty?"
She lowered her voice even more. "Can you make him sure of his feelings?"
Edmund wished he could answer yes, wished he could wave a wand, or be like Aslan and calm with a
breath. But since their arrival at the Scrubbs house, nay even before that; since they came back to help
put Caspian on the throne, the younger Pevensies had made it a point not to lie to the other. It just
caused less pain that way.
Besides, she wouldn't believe him, anyway.
He drew her to him, holding her as she grabbed his dressing gown and sobbed into his chest.
Neither of them saw the current regent of Narnia standing a few feet away.
Caspian had not been able to sleep after Lucy had left. The storm had not helped either, for he half expected, nay, hoped, she would seek him out as she had so often on board. When the storm REALLY
got going, he could take it no longer and went in search of her.
The words she had spoken, the caress, the kiss…he hadn't been able to put it out of his mind. They were
echoing through his head like a lost refrain from a long familiar song. He was tired of fighting… everything. He just knew that he had to see Lucy, to make sure she was all right.
Seeing that she was not ripped a hole in him. If he had not known that Edmund would gladly have
ripped him into bloody shreds, he would have gently taken her from her brother's arms. Lucy was
always so strong, so brave so…valiant. To know she was hurting, to know he was the CAUSE…
He rather wished he had been run through.
Edmund had gently moved Lucy into her room without either Pevensie noticing Caspian. The door
closed like it had been slammed in his ears. That soft click had him coming to a decision. He walked back
to HIS room, shutting his own door quietly.
End part 7