I am terribly sorry for this awfully late update. I was a little caught up with life. Academics promise to be a little more than challenging this year, this being the last year of school. I wish I could promise the next update would happen soon but I really do not know.
Thanks to all those of you who added this to your favorites/alerts: monmonosmally, LoneWolfPack and freezegirl, and those of you who reviewed: fallingstar22 and Son of Whitebeard. You guys make my day.
This chapter picks up a lot before where Tori's previous one ended, and then comes to the same conclusion from Hunter's POV. It does not progress the story much as far as the Hunter/Tori angle is concerned but deals with other story arcs.
Thanks to bodysurfer27 for betareading this.
Also, I have been watching a lot of Legends of Tomorrow, which will explain my obsession with white knights.
I would love to hear from you guys about how you feel about this chapter. Enjoy!
Hunter
And oh my love remind me, what was it that I said?
I can't help but pull the earth around me, to make my bed
And oh my love remind me, what was it that I did?
Did I drink too much?
Am I losing touch?
Did I build this ship to wreck?
-Ship To Wreck,
Florence + The Machine.
"Look what I got you, jackass," Tally's voice interrupts the train of thoughts my mind was trying to pursue.
I force a smile onto my face, shutting down my worries for the time being as I approach her.
"Well, thank you," I tell her with a cheeky grin. "Hope that didn't cause you a lot of trouble."
"Trouble? Hell, no!" she says, mocking me. "I always take great pleasure in slaving away for your lazy ass."
"Language, lady," I reprimand her, feigning offense.
"One of these days, I swear to God, I will snap your neck, Bradley," she hisses at me.
"That would mean goodbye to the amazing sex that you are getting," I counter, snatching the pair of gloves away from her hand and putting them on.
"I get pretty amazing sex without you, just so you know," she retorts.
I laugh at that, causing her to laugh too.
It is easy with Tally; it is exactly what I want. There is no emotional or psychological baggage, no obligation to open up about my past, no silent unspoken promises made for the future, nothing except the physical aspect, which is perfectly alright as far as I am concerned.
And yet, just as I begin to indoctrinate myself with these beliefs, I am left wanting for a little more, craving for something more than a romp in the sheets, for something more than a temporary outlet, longing for something more intimate and personal, permanent.
Tori.
I have to mentally slap myself to shake off that thought. The entire idea behind coming to the track with Tally was to forget Tori, at least momentarily, and I cannot let my mind do its wandering now.
"I met someone at Storm Chargers today," Tally's muffled voice reaches me through her helmet.
"The other guy who gives you amazing sex?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow at her.
"No," she rolls her eyes.
"Tell me after I kick your ass," I tell her, putting on my helmet.
"Oh, keep wishing, Bradley." she mutters under her breath, igniting her engine.
I bring my engine to life too, the deafening roar spiking my adrenaline, forcing me to concentrate only on the race and vanquishing whatever was left of Tori from my mind.
I cannot seem to wipe the self satisfied smug grin off my face as Tally's bike comes to a halt beside mine, mere seconds after I have crossed the finishing line.
She opens her helmet in a huff and is about to launch into a tirade when I cut her off, "Better luck next time."
She groans and curses under her breath.
"Something must have been wrong with the engine," she complains petulantly.
"I am certain of that," I respond sarcastically.
"God, shut up, Hunter!"
I crack up with laughter at the look of pure disappointment and disbelief on her face.
"Maybe it is time for you to accept that I am better than you." I say, removing my gloves.
"The hell you are," she grumbles. "We'll see tomorrow."
"Ah, vengeance," I sigh dramatically.
"Shut up!" she barks.
"You weren't too bad yourself," I continue despite the furious glare she is sending me. "Just a little rusty."
"Remember what I said about snapping your neck?" she hisses. "I meant it."
"Yeah, I know," I smile at her.
"Remove that smug grin from your face, for God's sake," she mutters helplessly.
"I am trying."
"Well, try harder," she spits before walking away.
It is after we leave the track, no particular destination in our minds, when I remember about our earlier conversation.
"Who did you meet at Storm Chargers, bu the way?" I ask her.
"Oh, Blake's ex," she says. "Tori."
Fuck.
What is wrong with the world and my damn life? How does Tori end up appearing in every conversation that I have? Is it entirely impossible for me to spend a few hours without having to go through all the whirling chaotic thoughts concomitant with Tori, without me having to feel guilty and moribund about whatever shit happened between us?
"Hunter, are you listening?" Tally's voice drags me out of my rumination.
"Uh, no, sorry. What were you saying?" I ask, running a hand through my damp hair.
"Do you ever listen-" she starts angrily but breaks off midway in her speech, sending me a long worried look. "What's wrong?"
Fantastic. Great day to be obvious, Hunter.
"Nothing," I tell her, avoiding her gaze. "I was thinking about something else. Sorry. So what were you saying?"
"Did you hear anything at all?" she asks skeptically.
"Yeah," I reply. "Tori. You were talking about Tori."
A sharp jolt runs through me as I mention her name and I wonder since when it had become physically painful to utter her name when all that she had ever done was try to save me, love me.
Perhaps that is where the problem was: she had chosen me. How could I ever return anything that she gave me, how could I possibly love her? I had never done that and I simply did not know how to do it. And I was too scared to learn, too scared that it would all end up hurting me.
"She acted pretty strangely around me," Tally's voice drags me to the present.
I do not trust myself to say anything then, so I just nod, my eyes glued to the ground.
"Okay, I might have been a little bit of a blabbermouth," Tally concedes, the slightest hint of guilt and shame in her voice. "I kinda told her how Blake used to go on and on about her and maybe that was not the best thing to say given the circumstances. But you know me, right? I sometimes talk without a filter."
"Sometimes?" I manage to sound sarcastic, despite the war in my head.
"Well," she cringes. "And I also told her that I knew it had not ended very well between the two of them and that you were the one who had told me all that, after, you know, the first day we got drunk-"
"Wait, what?" I interject. "Oh, damn."
"What?" she looks at me, confusion etched on her face.
"Uh, what happened then?" I ask, fully well understanding why Tori might have acted strangely. She did not deserve to know all that, not from a complete stranger anyway. It is hardly a secret that I sleep around but I never really talk to Tori about it. In some twisted way, I always feel I am betraying her just a little by my frequent constant one night stands.
"She just left," Tally replies. "Her face was all flustered, like I had told her that her boyfriend was cheating on her."
I laugh wryly at that, which earns me a skeptical glance from her.
"What's wrong?" she asks.
"Nothing," I sigh. "You should not have told Tori all that."
"Why?"
"Well," I start, unsure how to explain it. "She is a… friend, so-"
"A friend?" Tally scoffs, raising her eyebrows. "You have a female friend?"
"Yeah," I brush off her comment with a brief disapproving glance. "You basically told her about us sleeping together and friends do not take that kind of information well."
I am convinced that I have explained the situation without giving too much away, without giving anything away.
"Friends become uncomfortable, Hunter," she rolls her eyes. "They do not act like that unless- holy crap, she is the drug lord's daughter."
"What?" I ask, thoroughly lost and confused.
"How could I be so dense?" she almost shrieks. "She is the girl! She is your girl, the girl you would not tell me about. The assumed drug lord's daughter."
"I don't know what you are talking about, Tally," I try to sound bored and exasperated.
"Hunter Bradley," she adopts an authoritative tone as she grabs my wrists. "Do not ever lie to me."
"I am not-"
"No no," she shakes her head. "No lying, I said. She is the girl, isn't she?"
"Tally, I-"
"Hunter!" she almost shouts. "Yes or no?"
Yes.
"No."
"Hunter," her voice verges on the threatening. "Look at me in the eye and say that."
"What the hell, Tally?" I growl.
I glare at her, setting my face into an iron facade.
She meets my eyes with a level gaze, crossing her arms defensively over her chest and not replying.
"Really?" I scoff. "This is how you will react?"
"If you keep lying, yes," she shrugs. "I have got it figured out this once, Hunter, so quit trying to lie your ass out of the situation. God, Hunter! Your face does things at the mention of her name and you expect me to believe it is nothing?"
I cringe at that, squirming in light of her observation, wondering how Tori had managed to disturb and disrupt my perfected mask.
"So, Hunter, yes or no?" she asks softly.
I let out a breath, debating on what to say but when I bring my eyes to meet hers, I realize I cannot lie to her anymore, for her sake more than mine and so I let the world slip out of my mouth, its power shaking the ground beneath my feet, "Yes."
The drive back to my house is jilted and awkward, the weight of the incongruous silence burying us, the tension so thick in the air that it could be cut with a knife. We reach my house without a word being spoken.
I ponder upon all that I can say to break the silence that has descended upon us. But there really is nothing left for me to say in light of Tally's observation.
"Hunter," she says, almost sensing my discomfort. "It does not have to be like this, you know. We know better than this to let something like this come between us."
She does not say any more, only leaves the space empty for me to fill. I try again, try to say something, any damn thing but all I come up with is silence.
"I do not know what you are thinking but I am happy for you," she says. "I really am."
I cannot usually read people, their actions confuse me, their words almost always are duplicitous, their eyes say something and their mouths spurt out something else. It is all forgery and over the years, I have survived through the facades and the lies by not trusting anyone. Admittedly, it is not the best way to live but it gets me through, keeps me alive and as long as I have that, I am not complaining.
But if there is one thing that I can read with ease, perfunctorily, it is lies, falsehood. I do it so often that when someone lies to me, it is like looking at myself in the mirror; it is very hard to go wrong with that.
I would let it go on another day, with another person in another situation but this is Tally, and I do not want to listen to the lies she is making up because she thinks she is protecting me, saving me. I cannot take being pitied anymore, cannot take being treated as weak and needy anymore.
"Tally," I start, voice painfully strained. "Don't lie to me, please."
Her gaze falters for a second, an uneven shaky breath leaving her mouth before she looks at me, eyes resolute yet uncertain.
"I am not lying, Hunter."
"You don't have to be happy for me," I tell her, the words making my heart wrench in pain. "It is not an obligation. I… I realize what kind of a situation I have put you in and I am sorry."
She shakes her head slightly, laughing ruefully.
"You don't have to be. We were never supposed to be anything more than whatever we were," she trails off.
She adds a little more assertively after a while, trying to convince herself more than me, "It was always a no strings attached kind of thing, I never expected anything more."
"So, now what?" I ask, my words sounding hollow and lame.
"Nothing," she sighs. "Maybe another time, another place."
"Yeah, I know."
"Hell, Hunter!" she cries. "We are not sentimental people. This is becoming too emotionally charged."
I manage a laugh, allowing her attempt to downplay the situation to succeed.
I am thankful for the phone call that interrupts us. I heave a sigh of relief as the blaring sound fills the air around us.
It is Tally's phone and she picks it up. I watch as the color drains from her face as the person on the other end undoubtedly gives her bad news. I wonder what it is, my mind accelerating into overdrive, thinking of all that could have gone wrong.
"I will note down the address," she tells the person on the other end.
She grabs a piece of paper from the dashboard and quickly notes down the address. I peek into the sheet, taking a look at the address. It is far from the best part of town.
"I will be there as soon as I can," she says before disconnecting the phone.
"It is my flatmate," she says before I can ask. "She is sloshed and now I need to go pick her up. That was the bar manager calling."
I vaguely remember Tally's flatmate, the one I had run into a few nights back.
"Aria?" I question, recalling her name.
"Yup," she says, feigning a chirpy tone.
"What are you planning to do?"
"Be her white knight, of course," she says caustically.
"Something tells me you have some experience being her white knight," I laugh, enjoying her irritation.
"Yes," she scowls.
"Alright," I sigh. "Let's go, then."
She stares at me for a second, the confusion apparent in her eyes. "What? You are coming?"
"Trust me when I say this, you will need a white knight where we are going."
She does not argue much, only mumbles under her breath, "You are no white knight."
Drunk Aria turns out to be a lot more noxiously chirpy and exuberant than sober Aria. She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a hug as soon as she spots me in the crowd.
"Hey," she squeals into my ears. "You are the sneaky guy."
I cringe but manage to let out a stiff hello.
"I forgot your name,' she pouts.
"Hunter."
She frowns at that, not unlike the previous day.
"My father hated that name," she says, echoing her words from the other day.
"Pleasantries can be exchanged later," Tally says as she approaches us, pulling Aria away from me.
Quite unsurprisingly, Aria kicks up a fuss about us dragging her home and it comes to the point where I am forced to carry her in my arms.
"You know, Hunter," she drawls. "You are spoiling my party."
I do not reply, seeing no point in talking to her.
"And now you are ignoring me!" she cries out.
"Aria!" Tally barks as we make our way out into the road. "Shut up."
I marvel at the effectiveness of Tally's words as Aria falls into a silence till we reach the car.
"Okay guys," she says, giggling. "I know you love to go all smoochy smoochy but someone has to sit with me in the back seat."
"For what joy?" Tally asks, bored.
"Because I need a pillow," Aria says, as if stating the obvious.
Tally rolls her eyes before sending me a meaningful glance and telling Aria, "Hunter can be your pillow."
I am about to protest when Aria shrieks gleefully before latching onto me.
I sigh and curse Tally under my breath as I get into the car, Aria behind me.
The journey back to their apartment seems like an unending one as Aria keeps giggling and drunk-talking in my ears.
"You are not a comfortable pillow, Hunter," she complains.
"I am sorry to disappoint you," I reply coldly.
She laughs at that.
"I can see why Tally likes you," she says and I stiffen.
"Shut up, Aria!" Tally barks again sending Aria into another fit of silence.
"You know," she starts again, after a few minutes. "No one can blame me for being such a big fan of drinking."
"And why is that?" I ask tiredly, pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Don't move," she whines. "You are a pathetic pillow."
"Tell me something new," I mumble.
She ignores me completely and continues, "You see, I take after my father. He was a good for nothing sucker for alcohol."
Whatever caustic words were forming on my lips die at that.
A tinge of sympathy rises in me for the girl currently leaning into me, her head on my shoulders and her words waging a war in my head.
And suddenly, all that she is saying no longer seem like drunken words and a slight shiver runs down my back at the familiarity of her tale.
"People should be glad that it is only the drinking in which I resemble him," she says. "Otherwise, at best, I would have been an abuser and at worst, a murderer."
Fuck.
I find myself suddenly focused only on Aria and her words, I pay no attention to the questioning glance Tally shoots at us from behind the wheel.
"You talk a lot about your father," I quietly tell her.
"It's hard to ignore the person you hate the most," she whispers, her words no longer slurred, only full of vehement and venomous loathing.
"Thanks a lot," Tally says as she shuts the door to Aria's room behind her. "She can be a handful when she is drunk."
I laugh at that.
"She seems nice," I say vaguely.
"She is," Tally reassures me. "A little troubled but nice."
I sigh.
"I should go back home," I tell her, wringing my hands together awkwardly.
"Yeah," she says. "It's late, do you want me to drop you?"
"Nah," I shake my head. "I will be fine. You stay with her."
"She has unnatural hangover healing powers," Tally rolls her eyes. "She will be fine with a few hours of sleep."
"I will see you around, then," I tell her, preparing to leave.
"Sure," she says. "Don't disappear from the track again."
"I won't."
She nods and I turn around to leave.
"And Hunter," she calls after me. "Talk to Tori, please."
That night, I drift in and out of sleep, my mind meandering through the serpentine world of my labyrinthine dreams and memories. It is a strange concoction of the baleful and the nostalgic, the ones I would rather forget and the ones I would never forget.
Thunder crackled from my fingers as I leaped back in a desperate attempt at self defense, my heart hammering in my chest, my palms sweaty as a result of what I had seen.
I had never seen him so angry, so full of the need to stifle the life out of me.
"Please," I wept, helplessness flooding me. "I won't tell anyone, I promise."
"But you will," he growled as he grabbed a knife from the kitchen top.
"I won't," I cried. "I won't."
His eyes cleared for a minute, the drunken glaze disappearing, the ferocity dying and I let out a breath I never knew I was holding. But before I knew it, he had cleared the distance between us, placing the sharp edge of the knife on my neck.
"No," I howled.
"You should know what happens if you get in daddy's way," he slurred out.
"Please don't," I screamed.
"There is no one to save you this time, kid," he sneered. "Mommy is gone. Did you feel her cold hand?"
I shuddered at his words, a violent series of hiccups claiming me.
"I won't tell, I promise," I screamed again, the cold tip of the knife dancing on my skin.
"I know you will," he yelled and I closed my eyes believing it to be the end, preparing myself to embrace the pain and the darkness.
I wake up, bathed in my own sweat, my hands aquiver, my insides lurching in trepidation. It feels too real, the nightmare still alive in front of me.
Suddenly, I am filled with the need to get away from here, escape from the confines I have built around myself, but my legs refuse to move. There is an iron weight burying me and no matter how much I try, I fail to escape and find myself trapped in the cage of memories, chained to the past.
I draw my knees closer to my chest and bury my head in my hands, closing my eyes in a futile attempt to close off the world and retreat into an impregnable shell. My hands tremble as I clasp them around my head and when the tears threaten to come streaming down, breaking my emotional barrier, I do not try to stop them, succumbing to my fears and losing myself in the minatory abyss.
I do not realize how I end up at her house. I pause by the door for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts.
I know this is unfair and selfish, rushing to her when the world collapses around me and then pushing her away but if there is anyone who can help me, save me right now, it is her.
I knock on the door, my breathing still ragged and uneven, the quiver in my hands still present.
It does not take much time for the door to open and I realize she must have been awake. She looks just as bad as I do, miserable and broken, bags present under her eyes.
She is overtaken by surprise to see me and her eyes widen for a moment. Before she can say anything, I find myself moving forward, wrapping my trembling hands around her waist, placing my lips on her forehead in a febrile, needy kiss, slumping slightly against her.
Her body remains stiff against mine for a few seconds before she relaxes and wraps herself closer around me.
"It's okay," she whispers, placing her head against my shoulder.
I breathe heavily, no words leaving my mouth.
We remain consumed by that silence for a long time, tightly wound in each other's arms, listening to each other's heartbeat.
"It will be fine," she whispers again. "Everything will be fine."
"Tori," I manage to croak out.
"I am here, Hunter," she says. "I am here."
"I am sorry," I whisper hoarsely.
"Me too," she whispers.
I sigh, pulling her closer.
"I did not know what to do," I say. "I could not sleep and you-"
"Hey," she cuts me off. "It's okay."
She pulls back slightly, just enough to look me in the eye. Her lips curve into a half smile as she caresses my cheek.
"I am glad that you are here," she whispers.
I nod as she places a featherlight kiss on my lips, just the slightest of pressure in her gesture.
"Do you want to talk?" she asks.
"Not now."
"Okay."
"Tori," I begin. "I really am sorry."
"I know, Hunter," she says. "We will talk in the morning, there is plenty of time. Everything will be fine."
I stare at her for a second, noting how her eyes glimmer in the darkness with belief and conviction in them.
"Okay," I whisper.
"Alright," she says as she runs a hand through my hair. "That's good."
Like always, we end up in her bed, tucked under the covers, legs tangled, her hand on my chest, mine around her waist, her breath falling evenly on my neck.
I fall asleep to the cadence of her voice, "I really missed you, Hunter."