Chapter 13 Understood

A little over a week later, Alice had not heard from Sherlock after the incident with the cabbie. Maybe she didn't even want to see him. He didn't need to see her, he had John Watson now. Alice was sitting on her couch, a few books scattered around her, all open, and she was reading them all at the same time. They were the books she would need if she wanted to study medicine, and she had read almost every single one of them already. She still had to decide on a university, but it really didn't bother her that much. As long as she could get into the university and stay in London she would be happy. She had made a couple of biscuits that morning and they were lying on a plate next to her. She picked one up and put it in her mouth while her eyes scanned the pages about the anatomy of the human brain. The biscuits were a recipe she had learned from her mother. Ginger nuts. With a cooling cup of tea on the table she had spent a couple of hours flipping through the pages, when she heard a soft knock on the door.

'Come in.'

The door opened and Sherlock came in. He had not come from outside, but he was holding his coat. Apparently he wanted to get away from Dr. Watson upstairs and had he made up something about going out. He took in the books surrounding Alice, her place on the couch, the tea on the table and the plate of biscuits on the armrest. Music was filling the otherwise quiet room. 80s hits. Alice didn't look up for a while, too focused on the book about blood transfusions that she was reading at the moment. When she looked up, Sherlock was still standing in the room, looking at the books upside down, his coat he had put down on one of the chairs.

'Sherlock.'

She sat up straight, Sherlock continued to look at the books.

'Studying?'

Alice looked at the books and then back up.

'Yes.'

Sherlock looked up.

'You want to go to school?'

Alice nodded.

'Yes.'

Sherlock stepped closer and took a better look at the content of the books.

'Medicine?'

Alice nodded again, a conversation between them often consisted of this type of communication. Short answers and nods. It was easy. It was efficient.

'Which school?'

Alice shrugged her shoulders.

'Any good university here in London.'

'You want to stay here?'

Alice nodded again.

'Good.'

Alice smiled, Sherlock saw it when he looked up. He was now standing next to the couch and he could now properly see the biscuits on the armrests.

'Are those ginger nuts?'

Alice looked at the plate, surprised by the quick switch in subject.

'Yes, baked them this morning.'

But before she had finished her sentence, Sherlock had already picked up four of the biscuits and was eating them. When the words dawned on him, he looked up.

'You baked these?'

Alice nodded.

'They are... really good.'

Alice smiled, that was the amount of compliment she could expect from her father, and she didn't even mind. Sherlock sat down on one of the chairs, the ginger nuts still clutched in his hands and he occasionally took a bite. Alice, in the mean time, looked at another page of one of the books about EKG's. It was quiet, aside from the music that was still filling the room. Then Sherlock opened his mouth:

'You didn't shoot.'

Alice, who was looking at a few pages on the anatomy of the arm, looked up. She knew exactly what her father was talking about. Her hand moved towards her phone and she killed the music. Sherlock noticed the sudden silence and looked straight at Alice. Now he saw it, the tears burning in her eyes. She had never cried in front of him before. Alice felt the tears and tried to swallow them down, but she failed.

'I couldn't.'

Sherlock didn't move, and neither did Alice. The tears didn't fall, they were just there.

'John pulled the trigger.'

Sherlock continued to look at Alice, who nodded.

'I saw.'

'I don't blame you.'

Alice's head shot up and she looked straight into the green eyes that were staring straight back into hers. There was no need for an explanation, and Alice didn't even want one. Then Sherlock got up.

'If you have found the right university, just let me know.'

Alice followed him with his eyes.

'What do you mean?'

Sherlock turned back.

'I am going to make sure that you can study whatever you want. If that means it is to be medicine, I will see to it.'

'You can't just say that you will see to it. It is expensive Sherlock, I will have to save for tuition money, books, equipment, everything. It is not that simple.'

Sherlock looked intently at Alice.

'I told you, I will see to it. Every bit of it.'

He grabbed his coat and wanted to walk out of the room.

'Oh, John will be spending the night out with Mike Stamford.'

Without saying another word, he walked out, leaving Alice alone with her books, her few ginger nuts and her, by now, cold tea. She took the cup and downed it in a few gulps. The words her father had said slowly dawned on her. He was going to pay for everything for her study. He wanted to help her achieve what she wanted. And she would not disappoint him. John is out tonight.No John. An empty 221B. Free play for the two Holmes's to be together again. Alice smiled and she flipped every page of every book and started reading again.

That evening, Alice was standing in the kitchen of Speedy's, preparing the pies and sandwiches for the next morning. Mrs. Hudson was in the front, cleaning. When she was done, Alice went to the landlady and smiled as she noticed that Mrs. Hudson was wearing headphones during her cleaning. The music could be heard through the headphones and Alice had to stop herself from laughing at the hard rock that was blasting through. When she noticed Alice, Mrs. Hudson immediately turned down the volume and stopped cleaning.

'Have you finished dear?'

Alice nodded and came further into the cafe.

'Mrs. Hudson, there is something I need to tell you.'

Mrs. Hudson put her broom away and sat down at one of the tables. Alice followed her example and sat opposite her.

'I er, might not have that much time to help you here in the future.'

Mrs. Hudson's expression was questioned, which Alice understood. Without waiting for a long time she continued her story.

'I have decided to go back to school, to start my degree in medicine and become a doctor.'

Mrs. Hudson started to smile and took one of Alice's hands.

'Oh dear, I am so happy. Of course I understand that you won't have that much time to work here anymore.'

She rose up from her seat with her arms wide and Alice answered her embrace. When she let go though, she looked a little worried.

'But, where are you going to get the money to go to university?'

Alice smiled, she still wanted to pinch herself. At home she would not have had the resources to even go to university and here was this man whom she had known for a little over half a year and he was willing to pay everything for her, just because he didn't know how else to show her that he, maybe, cared for her.

'Sherlock. He offered to pay.'

Mrs. Hudson looked a little stunned for a moment, as if she couldn't believe it herself, but then she smiled again.

'You have a good one there dear, keep him close.'

Alice nodded.

'I will.'

Then she noticed a cab stopping in front of the cafe and a man getting in. That had to be John. Sherlock was alone in 221b, she could go there. This morning she had thought that she didn't need the company that much, that spending her days either cooking, baking or reading in silence was enough for her. It apparently wasn't. She left Mrs. Hudson after a quick goodnight and walked back to the hall. She slowly walked up the steps of the stairs. Seventeen steps. She saw that the door was open and she stopped in the doorway. Sherlock was sitting in his chair, clearly waiting for something, or someone.

'I checked on the eyes again. They have been in the freezer for half an hour now. It seems that they do not change that much though.'

Alice did not even come into the living room, she had turned around and went to the freezer. She took out the jar of eyeballs and quickly found her sheet of results in the cleaned up laboratory table, either Mrs. Hudson or John Watson had been organizing. She compared the results and then she put the jar of eyeballs in the fridge, where she also found a bag with a heart in it. She lifted it up and looked at it for a while.

'Mind if I use this?'

Sherlock looked up and nodded. For the time being, Alice put it back in the fridge, she would take it downstairs when she would leave and work with it tomorrow. She turned back to the living room, where her father had suddenly picked up his violin. She looked as he slowly plucked on it, suddenly no longer aware of who was in the room. She sat down on the red chair, the pillow in her back felt strange, but she wasn't going to move it. In her mind she was thinking about what she had read throughout the day. A few more days and she would be ready to go. She would surprise people with her knowledge and her quick understanding, but that was the point. All she knew now came from books, she wanted people to teach her something for a change. At least, if those people were smarter than her previous teachers. The only problem they could have was that she had no GCSE's or A-levels at all. But that could easily be solved. She could make them on the spot, the knowledge was there, it was just repressed and on the brink of being forgotten, something that would happen if she was accepted into university.

'Have you ever been to university Sherlock?'

The question came out without Alice actually really thinking it through, Sherlock didn't seem to mind. He continued to pluck on his violin as he answered her question, just as absent-minded.

'I have. I graduated as a chemist, but I also did some business, law and philosophy to fill my time.'

He looked up, and Alice did the same thing at the same time.

'You should do the same if you ever feel bored. I eventually left because of... you know...'

Alice nodded. Cocaine.

'But it was good to fill my days in a way that was actually useful and fill my head with useful information.'

'Now you fill your days with solving crimes.'

Sherlock smirked.

'Yes, quite an interesting way.'

'I would never disagree with that.'

'Mind if I play?'

'Mind if I listen?'

Sherlock smirked and rose from his chair. He picked up the bow and whipped it a few times before he placed the violin on his shoulder and started playing. Alice got up, but quickly sat down again, this time with her feet on the chair. That was how it remained for the rest of the night. Sherlock played, mostly looking out the window while he did so, but also walking around the room. With one nicotine patch visible on his arm, he played his own composition which kept on changing and evolving as he played. Alice would listen, filling her ears with the music, hoping it could stay there forever. Sometimes their eyes would meet. Nothing would happen. They would just see and recognise each other.

'We never speak.'

Sherlock had put down the violin. Alice was still sitting in the chair, staring into the burning fire in the hearth.

'Do we need to?'

'That's for you to answer.'

Alice looked up, Sherlock was still looking at the fire.

'At first I thought I needed to talk, because that was what my mother always used to do.'

Sherlock smiled, her mother. He barely remembered her, but it sounded familiar, he had known such a girl once. Always talking. About everything. Get your feelings out to cope with them more easily. He looked up from the fire at Alice.

'But...'

'But now I feel like I don't need to talk. When I was younger I needed to explain myself all the time, even when I thought everything was obvious. My mother couldn't read me like you can. My mother and I didn't understand each other the way you and I do now.'

'And you feel like you don't have to talk anymore because everything is already clear.'

Alice nodded.

'You know me.'