A/N: I want to preface this story by saying outright that it contains dark content and the tone does not lighten for some time as Renesmee processes her experience. There is significant discussion of rape which may be uncomfortable for some readers, please proceed with that understanding. Additionally, I have no right to tell someone how to handle a situation such as this, but please reach out to a loved one or professional/medical help whenever you need it.

I felt empty and aimless as I walked through the woods. I knew I couldn't go home but I wasn't even sure that I wanted to. There was an ever-present, dull ache in my chest but it felt distant, like my body wasn't connected to my mind. My legs would probably have been sore if they didn't feel numb, so I pressed forward through the trees.

Ever since the day I was born, I had been surrounded by the feelings of love, security and safety. Between my family and Jake, I never had to fear the world around me. I felt stripped of that protection and pathetically vulnerable for the first time in my life. I couldn't bring myself to call my family and I certainly couldn't call Jacob, but somehow I found myself dialing Emily's number.

Her and I spent most of our afternoons together in LaPush when Jake was on patrol and she had kind of adopted an older sister relationship with me. I tried not to let the '2:14 am' glowing on my screen deter me from pressing 'call'.

I held my breath while it rang and let it out when I heard her dazed, half-conscious voice, "Ness, are you okay?" The words were rough with sleep and I felt a twinge of guilt, but also resounding relief. "No," I croaked out, feeling the tears in my eyes spill over. "Em, can you come get me? I - I don't know where I am."

I heard shuffling on the other end of the line as she immediately agreed and presumably got out of bed. There was a distinctly male groan and I heard her speaking to Sam. "Shhh... honey go back to sleep. Everything's fine," she whispered.

I looked around, trying to identify anything familiar from my surroundings. The trees were dark and twisted, with leaves in shades of different autumn colors. There was nothing vaguely discernible about them to me, except I noted a clearing up ahead and began making my way toward it. The leaves crunching beneath my feet became small stones and gravel as I neared the opening. When I finally reached the part in the tree line, I saw the dark expanse of rock before me and felt the mist of sea foam from down below.

So many times in my life, Jacob had brought me here and spent the day with me by the ocean. I enjoyed swimming and running around, but my favorite times were when we just sat and talked. He would tell me about his life before I was born or places he wanted to visit someday. I always tried to be attentive, but sometimes I would zone out when his eyes warmed and his face lit up. He often mistook my fascination with exhaustion and pulled me into his arms to lay on his chest. I never corrected him because I liked listening to the sound of his heartbeat and watching the waves come in. I also didn't want to get caught for blatantly ogling.

In those moments, I felt calm and safe and warm in our little bubble and it was like nothing else mattered. My chest ached again as I desperately hoped that feeling would be the same no matter what had happened.

"Em, I'm near First Beach by the cliffs. I can make my way to the road and meet you there." I heard the faucet running on the other end of the line and her swift reply, "Okay Ness, I'll be there in five minutes." I hung up and started jogging toward the highway. I was grateful for Emily's help, but I couldn't repress the rising anxiety in my chest. What was I going to tell her?

I couldn't exactly pretend I got lost at two in the morning by myself. I had texted Aunt Alice around 10pm saying I was sleeping at Amber's and that wasn't really a lie, but it definitely omitted the club and the drinking before the sleepover. My parents were on a 'repeat honeymoon' at Isle Esme and I thought maybe I could finally let loose a little with my friends. I felt so stupid; I just wanted one night where I could feel normal and be a dumb teenager. How had I allowed myself to fall into such an obvious trap?

I knew I was nearing the road because I began to hear the whirring of cars and within a minute, I could see the headlights of a passing truck. I sat against the guard rail, waiting for Emily and I took inventory of myself for the first time that night.

My dress was torn up the side and smudged with dirt. I had left my heels somewhere in the forest and my feet were black from walking outside. I couldn't imagine what my face or my hair looked like. But none of that compared to the incessant ache throughout my body; everything hurt.

I carefully extended my right arm and examined the bruises on it. The most pronounced ones were practically a handprint on me and I was grateful that they would likely heal before my parents came home. I could scarcely imagine the look on my father's face if he saw them. I was already going to have to control my thoughts around him. If he saw the bruises too, I didn't think there would be much left to hide.

Another car approached then and I realized with dizzying relief, that it was Emily. She pulled off to the side quickly and jumped out of the car. Her expression told me that I looked far worse than I thought and she ran over, enveloping me in her arms. I tried to control my emotions but she felt so warm and maternal that I just collapsed in her embrace and started crying. She didn't say anything but she tightened her grip around me and led me to the car. She opened the passenger door for me and slid me inside. I didn't realize how cold I was until I felt the warmth from the heater.

She buckled me in and met my eyes with a pained, sympathetic smile. "Ness, I promise you that everything will be okay now. We'll figure this out, alright honey?" I nodded and she squeezed my hand before shutting the door and making her way to the driver's side.

She got in and I saw her confidence wane for a moment. She looked at me with a torn expression and took my cold hands in her warm ones. "Ness, I don't know where you want to go right now but it is completely up to you. I'm happy to take you back to my place or yours or Jacob's or the hospital. I just need you to let me know."

She watched me carefully as she spoke and I knew she felt me tense because I didn't know where I should go. I knew I couldn't go home or to Jacob's but I briefly wondered if I should go to the hospital.

Isn't that what you're supposed to do? But then I imagined the grueling hours of physical exams and questions (most of which I couldn't answer to a human doctor) and I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not yet, at least. "I think I want to go to your house, is that okay?" I searched her face for any sign of uncertainty but she just exhaled a little and gave my hands a reassuring squeeze.

"Absolutely honey, we can go to my place and get you in some warm clothes. Whatever you need, Ness." I relished in the idea of changing and returning to a little normalcy. She started the car without any more discussion and began driving toward LaPush.

I looked out the window at the trees smearing past and I made myself a silent promise. I didn't know how to move forward from here or what moving forward would even look like, but I would try. I had someone here for me now that could help me navigate this and I wouldn't let what happened crush me.

I remembered sitting on my father's lap years ago while he played the piano softly. We had been talking about Grandpa Charlie and Sue and I asked him about his parents. He told me about his mother and how much he loved her, tightening his arms around me in obvious discomfort. I asked him how he dealt with being sad that she wasn't here anymore and he paused the song and turned me to look at him. He told me that things happen in life that are painful and difficult to bear, but in order to get through them, I had to remind myself of all the good I still had. He said he missed his mother dearly, but he knew constantly being hurt by that loss wouldn't bring her back so he focused on me and Mom and the family he did have.

I couldn't change what happened that night but I would try to focus on the people who love me and maybe that would be enough to heal me. I leaned into Emily's shoulder and tried to release the tension from my limbs. I had been on high-alert all night and I finally exhaled and accepted that the danger was gone. I survived and even if I didn't feel remotely healed yet, I could start to pick up the pieces. I could start to move forward.